Contact Information : email : theeaceman64@gmail.com
As far as the top part
here, there had been a small group of people that had been asking if I
would do a video so that they could put a voice and face with the
dialogues that follow in the bottom sections after this top part.
This top part came about as I had a different small group of people
that had been trying to keep people from talking to me as what I had /
have to type is against what they try to tell others as the others
never met Karen and so their stuff was and is a bit off. So
consequently, these naysayers would tell others that they read this
page and that others shouldn't read this if they still wanted to still
be friends with [whoever] as [whoever] knows what they are talking
about and knows so and so and such and such, blah, blah, blah.
Originally, it was just that one paragraph just before the bottom part
(bottom part is after the equal signs, ===) which has all the events
and information about Karen and my times together. As a tribute
to those that kept trying to tell others stuff that wasn't true, I
started the rest of this top part to pick on those that kept trying to
keep others from reading this. So, yes, after April 2020 (when I
uploaded the 'self interview' video I did to YouTube) I started adding
in this top part of this page to make fun of those that said they read
this when they obviously hadn't or else they would have seen that I had
been picking on them. It is funny too as they had no clue what I
had done as it became very obvious to others that the ones saying they
had read this hadn't read this. And those that did read started
realizing what the others were up to as this top part kind of explains
in details, the stunts others had pulled, while also giving an overview
of what is to follow including many discussions that were not found
anywhere else before this page appeared. As well as more details
about things that had been missing (like the rest of Karen's new
manager story and 'the other Adrian' and Karen knew she had a short
lifeline on her palm and such) and in most cases why the information
had been missing. Originally I had written this page as a
reference for both myself and others that had been looking for
information that had been missing for over 35 to 40 years at the time
(I started this page in June / July 2019). And after the
information came out, this page is still full of information but this
information led to another discussion from around March 2020 to around
March 2021. The discussion eventually led to the karenlastdays.html page which contains
the fuller details about what happened with Karen and her passing away
and such without leaving certain things out to tell some story.
The Karen's Last Days page is a real eye opener as far as how much has
really been tried to be covered up and left out so that the stories
told (typed?) appear believable. Truly astounding.
Stupendous even. Wow? Pow wow anyone?
And as far as this being a reference. I just noticed (October 11,
2021) that in the Ray Coleman "The Untold Story" book that it mentions
the boating incident with Karen, Thomas, Olivia and Matt as being in
August 1981. I think the Merv Griffin Show that talked about it
was taped in August 1981 which is probably where the mistake
happened. I remember Karen and me talking about this with each
other on June 12, 1981 and that Karen had mentioned the "Hotel
Dumpwater" on Catalina Island incident happening I believe in November
1980 and Karen mentioning that Tom had forgot to turn on the pumps for
the drive shaft on the boat and so the drive shaft broke and all
that. I remember it as Karen and me talking face to face about
this which is why it would be June 12, 1981 and not the phone call on
February 3, 1983. But am I somehow wrong maybe? As you read
here shortly, it's not like I haven't ever been wrong before about
stuff that happened 35 to 40+ years ago. Normally, if I am wrong,
it has usually led to more and better information, so I actually look
to find something wrong with what I type if possible. If others
are wrong, it usually becomes a big mess as you'll read about here
shortly too. But in the
book, it mentions August 1981 as being the day it happened. This
was a long time ago. I am also not one to say forget this or
forget that as it is kind of the same story just two different time
tables. So keep to what I remember not because of right or wrong,
but because it is what I remember as happening long ago. If some
info comes up where it is definite one way or the other, this web page
can either remain the same or change accordingly. If the other,
"The Untold Story" author has passed away and so that couldn't be
changed. The joys of having an editable web page that isn't set
in stone like a book. Also, the joys that others can see this and
ask questions too which is why I am glad I wrote this stuff out as a
reference for not only myself (as there is a lot to remember here on a
variety of different subjects and events) but
a reference for others too if needed. We all can get busy at
times and having
things written out can help if the need arises and at times it can be
very difficult to contact others if a question comes up or such.
Honest, try contacting Karen Carpenter if you want to see how difficult
it can be to contact someone. What, still no answer from
Karen? So, in the nice time while we are waiting for Karen to
respond back to us (why do writers and readers always have to have mean
time instead of nice time?)...
And this also brings up an
issue called 'shame'. It should not be shameful for people to
make mistakes. Things happen. It should be shameful for
people to bully others and such as bullying others is a very shameful
practice. How is someone to know what a person is thinking if
they don't speak what they feel they need to speak and feel either
forced to be quiet or lie. I have seen many try to bully
others. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone, but
there is something wrong with someone that feels disagreeing with
someone is wrong. As a case of study here... Research
Billboard magazine and try to find that supposed article where it was
supposedly stated that "Karen was chubby". What, you didn't find
it? Uh oh, but everyone (except those that did the research)
states that Billboard magazine printed an article stating that "Karen
was chubby". Yes, a disagreement. There is a lack of truth,
however, in this disagreement. Saying (or typing) something that
is untrue can also be a source of shame (with that fear of shame being
attached). A person's character and
dignity and respect and such is determined by how someone deals with
disagreements not the disagreement itself. Disagreements only
mean a difference of information. And with a difference in
information, people can possibly learn something different from each
other. THINKE (Take Heart In Not Knowing Everything). You
can't know what someone else may or may not be thinking if you never
ask them and then allow them to answer as they feel appropriate.
Yes, that is why bullying others is a bad habit and a sign of a weak
personal character. Being too sensitive is also a sign of a weak
personal character as well. Why? Do some research on your
own and ask bullies why they are bullies and too sensitive people why
they are too sensitive. Then after you get tired of being lied
to, you'll understand why most bullies and too sensitive people are
afraid of being lonely because the way they behave drives people away
from them as it is always everyone else's fault that they behave the
way they do even when no one else is around them. Yes, that is
crazy. And it is crazy as bullies and those that are too
sensitive have never learned that lesson that it is OK to agree to
disagree with someone else and still be friends and still learn from
each other. You can learn from others but you can't change
others, only yourself. You can set an example to follow and try
to provide guidance with that example, but like with yourself, others
need to be allowed to make their own choices too. So what are you
waiting for? More nice time? Well, in the mean time...
Above first now (then comes
first later below)...
Really, for those that haven't noticed yet, there is not any
correct
way to spell Levenkron or Ramone let alone "gonna" and so on.
Yes,
those programs are not very accurate and are intended to be
misleading. Also, my grammar is
fine. My formatting is fine as well. And yes, at times I
use little tricks to slow down or speed up the reader. I also try
to engage the reader as an equal as well rather than trying to "talk
down" to the reader like many writers do. I learned that 'equal'
stuff from books written by an author named Theodore 'Teddy' Geisel who
is still to this day my favorite author, but he always spoke in rhyme
and prose whereas I try to write like I talk. We're all unique
and different which is a part of who we are. Most
people I have seen that post frequently on the internet are brain dead
as far as trying to comprehend more than a sentence or two. Those
that usually do what they call "lurk" (hide in the background without
writing anything) are usually the ones that can read and write.
Hopefully some day certain individuals will realize that in a public
posting place, not everyone posts. If you look at most public posting
places, those that post small blurbs look down on those that post
larger informative posts. Why? You would think that a place
that is supposedly sharing information would have large amounts of
information to share. But it appears that most of the internet is
filled with those that post short blurbs, that most readers that can
actually
read, skip over those small blurbs to try and find something actually
informative for a
change. Small posts are for those trying to be popular and have
their name appear a zillion times without much information actually
being shared. Actually, the ones that post short blurbs hope that
others don't realize that the short blurb poster is doing something
known as 'spamming their name' to try and bolster their name
recognition which is a sales marketing trick. Spammers are not
fond of those that make large posts
as the ones making large posts tend to demonstrate how mundane and
brainless most spammers really are. Spammers also try to
encourage everyone else to be like them so not every small poster is a
spammer. Some just get tired of being yelled at while others just
"join the crowd". The spammers are the ones that yell at anyone
else that posts a long post. But popularity is what
popularity is. And a person that makes a large post that
demonstrates how little a spammer really knows is very upsetting to a
spammer that wants recognition for their name being spammed all over
the place with very little content. So what is known as a "smear
campaign" gets launched by the spammer to try and get back at the one
that posted a large post unintentionally demonstrating how clueless and
mundane the
spammer really is. After all, it is the large poster's fault that
the spammer spams their name with very little content. This isn't
about information or facts or such
but about a spammer protecting the reputation of them feeling they are
popular because their name appears a zillion times with very little
content and how dare someone share actual information with those that
can read and understand what they are reading (known as reading
comprehension). Do you see now the truth about why spammers want
everyone to believe that no one likes
someone that makes large posts? How is someone going to have
their name spread all over the place if they make a large post instead
of a zillion small posts that highlight that name. Content?
This isn't about content but about popularity and "name branding" and
name recognition stuff. And there are also those that don't know
what they are talking about so a large or a small post doesn't really
matter in their cases but they prefer smaller posts that try and make
it difficult for someone to realize that they don't have that
information to back up what they post. And you would be surprised
how many feel
they won an
argument because they made the last post in a topic, but don't realize
that the other person won and got banned after realizing how ignorant
the other person they were arguing with was. So advice here as
"Never argue with an idiot as they only try to bring you down to their
level and beat you with experience" which was posted to me back in the
year 2000 by an intelligent guy named Chris Webber who has been hassled
his whole life because of one mistake in a 1993 basketball game.
It is also a variation on a quote by Mark Twain. Just say your
piece and move on whenever possible. The ones that
usually do not post
are known as 'readers' and those that post are the ones that write the
content which others can read. We used to call it sharing back in
the day where a writer shares what they write and think with someone
that
reads. One or two sentence blurbs are usually passed over (not
read) by
someone looking to read something worthwhile as most people need more
than a sentence or two to read to explain what are known as
details. The details are what determine whether whoever is
writing is being coherent (understandable) or incoherent (a word that
is not understandable). As you
read down farther you will see an example of incoherency by some writer
named Rob Hoerburger using short blurbs (look another spelling error,
Hoerburger, oh my, I better correct that 'Hoerburger' spelling error
plus this
grammatical error stuff as well while I'm at it). Short blurbs do
not contain details
and are usually a sign of someone that does not know much about what is
being discussed or a sign that the person is using a translator and are
unable to translate more than a few words to and from another
language. Then comes fact or fiction. Is it real or
surreal? Refutable or reputable? Impeccable or
impeachable? In coherency or incoherency? Yes, try saying
that three times fast (that that that, commas mean a pause. You
know that; right? Semi-colon? Oooo. Ahhh. Wow
is moM spelled upside down. Dag nabbed spelling errors).
Are your murds getting wixed up or are your words
getting mixed up? Are others purposely wixing up your murds to
try and make others think that you aren't making sense when the other
person is the one not making sense. I see 80 to 90 people posting
how they have anorexia and they also have caring families that try to
support them while only 3 or 4 people that post have controlling
families or families
that don't care. And the ones stating that they have uncaring
families
post constantly hoping to find others that agree with them and also
hoping to push away others that may not agree with them.
Insecurities. Those without caring families tend to be
insecure. Karen Carpenter was actually a very secure person and
was very much against those that felt women should not be seen as
anything more than mere 'sex objects'. If you want to see people
being insecure, just mention that you feel that women should be seen as
more than just sex objects to those that feel that women shouldn't be
considered as anything more than a sex object. Does this make
sense here? For some odd reason,
the 80 to 90 have to help
themselves as usually therapy is usually no help whatsoever for them
(just like Karen's situation as Karen's family was the ones asking
Karen to get help while the therapists were trying to insinuate that
Karen's family was very controlling and not caring about Karen even
though Karen's family were the ones that suggested therapy to Karen in
the first place and Karen's family wasn't even there to be
'controlling' but it is the accusations that matter and truth be darned
like a pair of old socks that have been mended I guess. Yes,
brainwashing which helps
no one. Whatever the person says must be true as whomever is the
one talking knows the other person more than the other person knows
themselves. Again, brainwashing which helps no one. When it
comes to therapists and such talking about Karen it always ends up
being what the therapists feel should be and not anything to back up
those claims from Karen, herself. And not just Karen and the
anorexia, but you have a guy, Ariel Castro, that abducts women as sex
slaves that lives in a busy area and is a bus driver yet the profile of
a sex slave abductor is of someone that lives out in the middle of
nowhere and is a loner. I really wish that these people would
stop making up these nonsense 'psychological / psychiatric profiles'
that just do not work unless history gets rewritten to match that
profile. A person looking to avoid contact with people (loner)
working as a bus driver? Quick, try and sweep that under the
rug. I know the rug looks more like a mountain now with a small
rug on top that is barely visible, but try anyway. Asking
questions and being honest with the answers are
what help others. Try it sometime. Now; repeat after me;
"you can't honestly help someone without being honest"). But try
and post that
Karen had a caring family that was not controlling her and you get met
with small blurbs about how I must be insane posting actual information
instead of posting small blurbs supporting something that is just not
true. Even worst, you get attacked if you say you had anorexia
and you also had a caring family that was asking you to get help.
How dare someone be honest. Consequently, those 80 to 90 that try
and post that they
have caring families and had anorexia are met with the wrath of those
supporting the 3 or 4 that said that they had uncaring families.
Why would someone like me not be liked by a bunch of
posters that have nothing tangible to post to back themselves up but it
must be true because posters are told that they need to keep repeating
this stuff that is not true or face the wrath of those that don't know
what they are talking about or else they would have that extra
information to post with instead of just small blurbs to spam their
name all over the place with. Yes, a run-on sentence to slow the
reader down again to hopefully get the reader to think about what they
are
actually reading instead of just skimming around. It takes a lot
more effort for the human brain to try and break down and fully
comprehend what is discussed in a run-on sentence. And why not
leave a preposition dangling in public rather than be repetitively
redundant if the need arises? All over the place with what?
Small blurbs to spam their name silly. Are you learning anything
yet? Just thought I'd ask. Like said, this is about
popularity
and not about actual information. Noncomformity? Again, so
why would I be liked when I disagree with the masses and I have a
massive amount of information to back up that disagreement? Yes,
a process known as
projecting where one tries to place their thoughts and ideas as being
the thoughts and ideas of someone else. On that, I never said I
came into the Carpenter community to be liked or popular so why would I
actually care about such a thing? Ah, projection as the ones
trying to make people believe that I am that way are actually the ones
that are that way themselves. Projection. Get it yet.
Someone thinks a certain way and they try to project that everyone else
thinks that way too rather than allowing others to think and say on
their own behalf(s). And why write something if there isn't
anything to be learned from what
is written? And another case in point, Agnes (mom) grew up with
the word "love" meaning "making love" and so she couldn't say she
"loved" her son or her daughter but both her son and daughter knew that
mom
cared about them. Agnes could talk for hours about how much she
cared about her son and her daughter if asked, but the therapists only
asked if Agnes loved her daughter (if you also notice, nowhere do they
ask Agnes if she loves her son either which Agnes couldn't bring
herself to say she "loved" her son either). The therapists only
asked if Agnes loved her daughter or son not if Agnes cared about her
daughter or son. The facts. Agnes knew the word love to
mean
"making love" and the word "caring" to mean caring. So why would
Agnes be uncomfortable saying she loved her son or her daughter while
she would be comfortable saying she loved her husband with all her
heart? Well? Projection. Putting words or thoughts in
people's mouths or heads that are not the actual words or thoughts of
that person being talked about. A very dishonest practice.
These ones telling stories don't want others hearing the rest of that
story about why Agnes was uncomfortable saying she "loved" her son and
daughter as they never asked if Agnes "cared" about her son or
daughter. And later on in the "Shrinks Part 2" section is another
discussion dealing with Karen, Agnes, and Karen and Agnes chewing out a
therapist that others don't want people seeing either. Yes,
all people make mistakes. Experts do not make mistakes.
Experts are people therefore all experts are just figments of their own
imaginations, correct? I do not claim to be an expert, but I do
have a way of being honest. Don't I? Do you see how long
this is getting? Do you also see the difference between someone
that just says something opposed to someone that has information to
back up what they say? Of course those that post small blurbs to
spam their name to become popular don't like those that post long posts
with actual information in those posts to back up what they post.
Interesting? (Aha, um look on this page interesting.html about the writer, myself,
after seeing the stuff in 1973 that explains why this writer wasn't
allowed to be public for the longest time [1973 to 2010] roughly.
And then there is that extra stuff with Sir Nicholas Born in mid May
1979 plus the stuff with His Holinesses the 13th and 14th Dalai Lamas
in June 1979 plus that other stuff about a meeting between me and Doc
Darling around
September 1980 plus that stuff with G Gordon Liddy around 1981 / 1982
as
well. Then that telltale entry for 1974 / 1975 in there
too. This Karen Carpenter page is a large subset of that
Interesting Conversations page as the stuff that happened
around Karen and me was actually my greatest influence in my life to
date. I learned a lot about myself and others while being around
Karen
and many things happened so it is a large subsection with many stories
and details). Despite what gets posted by the spammers and those
who
support them, many that can read are actually looking for information
and not one liners that don't have anything that is credible to back
those one liners up
with. Creed. Look that one up. And
as far as credible, there are all these events and experiences
presented that involve many different people but it must be made up
because someone that doesn't know any of these people including the
writer says it is made
up. Yes, look up fickle too while you are at it. And why
would a writer need to explain everything they talk about, but then
again after thinking about it, why not as if you don't explain stuff,
readers might draw the wrong conclusions which can lead to a real
mess. But as this is real life here, some things may defy known
explanations. And
so the continuing truth of why the one
writing this became known as Smart Ass later on (you'll see a part down
in the Karen's Principles section about how Karen Carpenter used to say
that ass was not a cuss word as it is written in the Bible and how I'm
not going to tell you where it is as I feel it is a good book and you
should read it sometime. It's that book that starts out with 'In
the beginning'. Which then brings up knowing the difference
between a burro [ass] and a burrow [hole in the ground]? Why, as
a writer, do I always have to spell it out for you? Hmmm?)
We now interrupt this rant about the internet posting communities and
writing in general to
bring you something inherently but not
completely different (and I have left a few things out so this is not
"The Full Monty" so to speak). And now watch me pull a rabbit out
of my (oh God, not there, ewww) [what's so bad or yucky about an
ear? Wait, did you think I said r...? Heavens no]...
As far as the internet posting communities themselves. Oh
boy. I have someone named J****** on Instagram that swear to God,
the smartest thing she said in her posts on a picture was that she knew
that Karen Carpenter died on Saturday February 5 and not on Friday
February 4 and that I don't know what I'm talking about because she
remembers seeing it on American Bandstand on Saturday. That was
after roughly sixteen posts of the most idiotic stuff that I kept
correcting and she just kept getting dumber and dumber each time while
trying to say I didn't know what I was talking about. Yes, that
sh*t got deleted as each time anyone read it their IQ dropped 100
points. It was that bad. Several incidents on YouTube where
people were gang attacked by the "you must be respectful of Karen and
post only bad things about her brother and her mother" and I am seeing
people getting badgered to post nasty comments about Karen's brother
and mother or get called almost every name in the book by these gestapo
agents. Then I ask the gestapo "why should anyone post bad
comments about Karen's brother or mother when Karen never said anything
bad about them herself?" Oh yeah, they launched the nukes and I
went supernova on them. Of course those posts were deleted after
a short while after they realized how bad they looked. They
changed their names too. Even better, I started posting page
links of web pages I had written about what was so wrong with
[whatever] as there isn't enough room on YouTube to post something that
large. Then my going ballistic on Facebook at Dan for
his comment about how he felt I was trying to make Karen out to be a
pedophile when I had been saying how Karen and I had a rule of not
physically touching each other when I was younger. And so, Dan
stated he wasn't the one saying Karen was a pedophile, but I was the
one that was
saying Karen was a pedophile even though the word only appeared in
Dan's posts and not mine and my posts had stated that Karen and I had a
rule of not physically touching each other. Yes, I went ballistic
and called him a liar and asked him to 'step outside' so to
speak. I was actually using the anger as a way to try and badger
information out of Dan as to who he was. Later I remembered the
name related to something else discussed later in the Shrinks Part 2
section. Yeah, that results in a whole paragraph
below. And as far as Facebook in general, oh boy. Worst
than YouTube as far as the badgering and such to say bad things about
Agnes and Richard. It is like a cult in certain places. And
I ask people "why is there so much hatred when Karen was against hating
anyone?" and I can't really get an answer from anyone. And oh
yeah, my "well, I knew Karen and [this stuff happened]..." comments
many times. And
apparently people know everyone that Karen ever talked to and
everything Karen ever did in her life even though they never met Karen
or know anyone that even personally knew Karen. John Adrian and
Karen broke up in 1977 and John married someone else about three months
after Karen and John broke up. My first name is Adrian. I
met Karen on September 6, 1978 so therefore Karen's comments about
Adrian in her diaries after September 1978 must be about John Adrian,
who is married at this point, and not about me. After all it is
this anorexia and Karen doesn't think straight, right? As it
seems like every time Karen doesn't do something that matches something
stupid someone says that THEY feel Karen should have done or said, it
must be Karen's anorexia (not that about 80 to 90% of anorexics do not
come close to fitting that anorexic profile). Karen's family is
so controlling of Karen because Karen is at Levenkron's Clinic for over
8 months and Karen's family only visits Karen once in those 8
months. Karen's family apparently controls Karen through
telepathy or some such nonsense. Karen's family doesn't care
about Karen because they keep asking Karen to try and get help yet each
time Karen goes to get help, the therapists try to tell Karen that
Karen's family doesn't care about her despite the fact that Karen's
family are the ones asking Karen to go to these therapists to get help
which should make this obvious here that the therapists are cuckoo
crazy for thinking that a family that asks their family member to get
help from them is uncaring about that family member that needs
help. Karen is so messed up because she feels so inferior to her
brother when all the fans line up in front of her and say what a great
voice she has and how great she is at the autograph
table while Richard twiddles his thumbs off to the side most of the
time. And so much
more... So yes, I have made many large fact-filled posts and I
have also been banned from a few places for calling an idiot, "an
idiot". And a hint here, these idiots on Facebook change their
names frequently and open multiple accounts under different names now
as they are so proud of themselves (What ever happened to Rick Henry
anyway? Did he pass away?). I have only one account and I
have used only "Ace
Downing" on that account since I joined Facebook in 2012. On
Instagram it has been only Theeaceman64 since I joined and on YouTube
it has only been Adrian Downing III since I joined there. My
Google did change once after I started with Theeaceman64 there but I
changed my gmail name heading at one point and that was what changed my
Google name to Adrian Downing III around 2012 I think it was (maybe
later). But another rough part about this fake name stuff is that
Facebook has been hassling honest people for quite a while now.
Rather than get on a soap box and jump to wrong conclusions here, it is
better to keep from blaming based on possible wrong assertions and wait
and see what happens with all this. Unlike other periods in
history, there has been a long period now of Facebook banning people
for political affiliation instead of doing anything wrong to
others. As of May 2021, time will tell. When being falsely
accused, sometimes a name change can throw the false accusers
off. In this case possibly Fakebook, I mean Facebook. But I
am still a bit leary as I see a bit coming from the Lead Sister place
that has nearly collapsed and as I
stated, what happened to Rick Henry? The Lead Sister place on
Facebook pretty much shot itself in the foot. Oh yeah, a couple
of those
web pages I mentioned above
that I made up to explain what I mean when I talk about the "Little
Girl Blue" book littlegirlblue.html
and about the "Goodbye To Love" crockumentary goodbyetolovecrock.html . And
the "Karen's Last Days" overview web page here karenlastdays.html .
It actually has been a far from bad experience on the internet for me
in the Carpenters' communities. Only about 3% of the
actual Carpenter community were "rotten apples" so to speak in the
beginning (around August 2019). Maybe about 1% now; last I
looked. This
3% are the ones that post how they hate Karen's brother and mean stuff
about others in the community too and only a few of them, but they make
many posts to make it appear like there are more. The community
itself is not
too fond of these people either. The community is also the ones
that asked me to stop bothering with those 'haters' so to speak, so I
did. The community usually asks the 'haters' things like "How can
you hate someone you don't even know and have never met?" and stuff
like that. Most in the community are the 'people next door' types
which is a majority of the Carpenters' fan base. 'Troublemakers'
and 'trolls' don't usually feel too comfortable in the community for
too long. The community is also multinational. Brasil,
Philippines, Japan, UK, most european countries and several other
countries outside the USA. There was a period not too long ago
with a bunch of
problems. It seemed like at the end of 2019 and to the middle of
2020 that there were a bunch of people that were getting their Facebook
accounts hacked. It also appeared like the ones being hacked were
people that knew
Richard at one time or another. Around April 28, 2020 someone had
submitted my Facebook account to a dating place and my Facebook account
was a mess for about a week or so but I didn't get hacked like others
had been hacked. It had started a bit before what would have been
Karen's 70th birthday. Around June or July 2020 the nasty posting
started dying down. Since about November 2020, the hate posting
about Richard is almost non existent now from what I have been
seeing. The 'hatred' uprisings appeared to be centered around a
couple authors and their entourages (fanboys/girls). For the most
part, most of the community is actually a nice community and centered
around the love of the Carpenters' music. Several in the
community (myself included this last year, 2021) hibernate around the
beginning of February when that hate Richard stuff hits the most.
But without the good conversations that took place in the communities,
most of this page wouldn't have been realized. I have seen
several people that Karen had mentioned to me and a couple that I
recognized as knowing Karen posting in the
communities. A good story about one of those. A lady named
Edith Grace asked me several times if Karen had ever mentioned her or
her mom [Sherry?] to me. I had posted a couple times, "not that I
remember"
and then after about three not remembering posts I remembered her being
mentioned and with that I remembered how Karen used to tie a string
around her finger as a 'forget me knot'. I was so glad that Edith
Grace was so persistent. So many wonderful
and thoughtful questions and discussions over about 2 years now.
But like with anything, there's always good, middle and bad. And
yes, I agree; there is a lot of negativity in this top part. You
can't change others, only yourself. You can try and provide
guidance however. And yes, I am trying to weed out those readers
with little to no patience in addition to the know-it-alls and those
with little to no common sense. That should weed out the ones
that I've had arguments with and leave those thirsting for more
knowledge
and the brain power to assimilate that knowledge within themselves plus
the others that I've had thoughtful discussions with (which sounds much
better to me and more like myself than that "in addition to those with
whom that I have had thoughtful discussions" grammatically
correct bourgeois sounding, Chauncey Uppercrust type 'clap trap' kind
of nonsense). I have seen far more good than bad in the
communities. The community also worked with me and said they
didn't mind my 'personal' type comments about Karen but that I needed
to keep from being too personal as I had crossed the line a couple of
times. There are some things that people just don't need to know
or hear out of common decency for others. And every once in a
while someone would post religious stuff too. The silly religious
stuff would be about how people need to repent and all that.
Really? Repent from what sin as what you posted puts you in the
sin of vanity department. Shouldn't you be repenting for your own
sins instead of trying to falsely blame others? Yes, the end
really is at hand for those that are so brainwashed that they don't
realize that just because they sin doesn't mean that I have to sin
too. And why would I need to pray for forgiveness and mercy
instead of strength, courage and wisdom? Why don't you pray for
forgiveness and mercy? I think you are the one that is going to
need to pray for forgiveness and mercy when I get done laying down the
strength, courage and wisdom smackdown on you for trying to badger me
like that. Yes, Karen and me could both be very "bull headed" as
people would say. Karen and I never argued with each other but
others learned in a hurry that you didn't want to argue with either one
of us. With Karen, by the time Karen got done, Karen would throw
in so many promises and you either promised or Karen didn't argue any
more and would walk away and not talk to you if you didn't make and
keep those promises. With me, I can turn someone's words and
thoughts back against them and be very vicious being both intellectual
and emotional at the same time. Like Richard said in mid May
1979, "I know that look. Oh my God. There's two
Karens." And as Karen and I both said at the same time with
sinister sounding voices (growls?) and that evil look we both had
"Other direction Richard". Good Karen / Evil Karen. Good
Ace / Evil Ace. Karen and I both had that Godly side to us and
our 'evil' sides were actually the sides that would put the fear of God
into anyone trying to be devilish including the Devil, himself.
That kind of Evil Karen and/or Evil Ace (me).
And yes, we all can make mistakes, myself
included. A while
back on YouTube someone had told me that Richard had said that "they
stole the Carpenters' sound for Karen's solo album" or something like
that. I then said that I never heard that and didn't believe it
existed as Karen had told me that Richard had said "it sounds like
sh*t". I do stand corrected as before and recently now as well
Richard
has said that he had said that he felt that they had stolen "the
Carpenters' sound" on Karen's solo album. Richard has also
clarified
that statement as well as Richard has said that he was referring to the
layers of harmonies. And as always with a correction, something
new to
ponder. Rod Temperton had worked before with layered harmonies
while
being with the group Heatwave (the song Boogie Nights as an example
here). The thought I have is that I don't know if it was just Rod
Temperton or if maybe Karen may have given Rod extra insight into
layering harmonies to produce a lusher and fuller background
vocal.
The two that would know if it was just Rod or if Karen had given Rod
pointers were Rod and Karen who have both passed away. I just
can't be
sure if it was all Rod for the background vocals or if Karen helped Rod.
The reason for me starting this page is that back when I started
getting my memories back (around May 28, 2019) I realized that there
would be a lot of information so as each memory came around, I wrote
them down. Originally, there were only 24 paragraphs and no
section headers or such. Each paragraph was a separate
event. I also have my life long memories page that I started
around 2013 which was what I used for the formatting of this
page. For those trying to get others to think that I am trying to
do this for getting attention or such, the answer is easily nope.
But yes, this page is
here to remember stuff and share stuff with others accurately as I
remember it. It is a memory page and not a 'bragging' page so to
speak as it says in the beginning about there is a lot to remember and
when others write it, it isn't quite as accurate as if I write it
myself as I remember it. When someone, themselves, writes
something questions can be answered. When someone else writes it,
questions most times remain unanswered or answered improperly.
That was my main problem in doing this as Karen isn't around anymore so
I need to rely on what I remember without Karen being around to
double-check my memories. But later you'll read in the "Off the
Wall" call section where Rod Temperton mentioned that even after death
that soul mates are still able to be together even after death.
Karen passed away and our thoughts have not been connected to each
other since June 1981 (well, maybe they did last connect on February 7,
1983 but not positive on that so I will stick with June 1981).
Also, it isn't just Carpenter fans and such that read this. There
are many people out there that like reading biographies about people as
normally biographies contain some form of life lesson or insight to be
learned from. This page is loaded with life lessons and personal
stories and quirks and such. The life lessons, personal stories
and insights are how I know who has actually read this page and who
hasn't. Those that learn life lessons and insights from others
tend not to be so brain dead. Honest, if you can only comprehend
small blurbs containing a written sentence or two, you are brain
dead. And those that know me know that I have two modes, the
kind, caring and understanding mode and the knock over the money
changer's tables in the temple aka confrontational and stubborn mode.
For those that have seen too, yes I have a lot of information and when
people ask questions and such I normally make very long posts about
what went on while
trying to cram as much information in (the post, I added in "the post"
here for those that still have that dangling preposition fetish but I
feel actually including "the post" in this sentence would be
repetitively redundant again; I still prefer "cram as much information
in as possible" myself, so parentheses here) as possible. With me
and my
'long posts' I present information to
support what I say. With a lot of information of course it gets
long. I do know enough
to dot my T's and cross my eyes or something like that. Yes, you
read that right.
I would love to know for sure who started the "you need to post bad
things about Richard and his mom to be respectful of Karen"
nonsense. No one will speak up. I have a strong feeling it
is those around those that are trying to push this "Starving for
Attention" nonsense as that nonsense is not Karen Carpenter but is
about Cherry (Boone) O'Neill who is nothing like Karen Carpenter other
than having the anorexia label (and yes, there is countless piles of
information about that fact that Karen and Cherry were not
alike. Note also, the actual definition of someone having
anorexia as opposed to just an eating disorder is that an anorexic
needs to be below a certain weight percentage of their normal
weight. Therefore, technically, anorexia does not necessarily
mean an eating disorder as someone without food would be considered
anorexic, but it wan't because of habits or such, but because without
having any actual food available to eat they were starving to death
through no fault of their own). To those that have anorexia or
are in remission from
anorexia, Karen's story has been sidetracked to try and promote an
agenda and hide the truth. The truth is that Karen never felt
unloved by her family (mom, dad, brother). Around 80% of the
anorexics I have talked with have that same problem with therapists and
such trying to rewrite history to match this 'unloved' profile that
many times is not true. And yes, most of those I have talked with
have had to quit therapy and such to regain their sanity from the
therapists and such trying to brainwash people into saying things that
are not true. Most anorexics I have dealt with actually have kind
and caring and supportive families like Karen had, that ask the
anorexic to get help. Richard and their mom kept asking Karen to
get help and each time the therapists and such kept trying to convince
Karen that her family was unloving and uncaring when in reality, it was
Karen's family that was asking Karen to get help in the first place
from these people. As has been said, "they were a**holes" and
that is so true. Only an a**hole would blame the people asking
someone to get help as being uncaring and unloving. That is so
absurd that it belongs in another universe buried in male bovine
excrement from whence it came. That is how pathetic
and bogus that 'badgering (yes, look this word up too)' stuff is.
And even more pathetic are those that
have allowed themselves to be brainwashed to support this
nonsense. People can not honestly be helped without being
honest. And that leads to a discussion about a psychological term
called narcissism now but used to be known as know-it-all syndrome back
when Karen and I first discussed this in September / October 1978 and
again around May / June 1979 I believe. Know-it-alls make people
believe they know it all through putting words and thoughts in other
people's mouths and heads that are not true to try and get people to
think that the know-it-all knows it all. Rewriting history.
In a word, brainwashing. Know-it-alls are very fragile and
vulnerable people as they always have a lot to hide as know-it-alls are
very dishonest and deceptive people hoping people don't catch on to
what they are dishonestly doing. And they hide this by always
lying and putting blame on others and not taking responsibility for the
way they are acting and what they are doing. Cherry (Boone)
O'Neill and her "Starving for Attention" book reinforce these
problematic spoiled brat thoughts in a nutshell or nutcase
as the case may be here. Is there something wrong with Cherry
being proud of her sister Debby for winning a Grammy award for singing
the song "You Light Up My Life"? Apparently there is. Yes,
Cherry Boone writes a book blaming everyone else for her anorexia
problem while she doesn't take responsibility for her own actions and
it shows. Cherry is a spoiled brat and a know-it-all and a
blatant narcissist and it shows in her book. It doesn't take any
courage whatsoever to blame any and every one else for your own
problems. It does take courage and strength however to admit a
problem and look for that problem from within. Karen and Cherry
were nearly exact opposites of one another. Karen was never
one to be selfish and Karen usually tried to avoid being the center of
attention. Cherry Boone, "Starving for Attention" about sums
Cherry up. Karen usually had more attention than she ever wanted
from others as Karen was actually a shy person until she got to know
someone. After knowing someone, then the clown and such would
come out. (shh, another secret here as both Karen and I were
considered as having "Asperger's Syndrome" at the time. Socially
awkward and just blurting stuff out and doing something just plain wild
and crazy at the drop of a hat with no rhyme or reason other than doing
'something different' and all that). Karen loved her privacy when
she could get it. Karen was also good friends with Shirley and
Debby
Boone. Karen also wished to remain good friends with Shirley and
Debby Boone which was why Karen told me on February 3, 1983 that her
and Debby had talked together during the January 1983 Grammy
awards. Rather than drag what I know Karen said about this
(I think it was in June 15 - 17? [one of those days], 1981 originally
about the manuscript and then a follow up short discussion in January
1983 about Karen talking with Debby and also about the Levenkron Clinic
and such which is one of those things I couldn't really think of a good
way to write it as it sounded bad for Cherry but I don't think Karen
meant it that way so I left it out for the most part) through the mud
here, I feel I need to put my two bucks worth in on
this. I understand that even if someone puts a gun to my head, I
am still the one responsible for what I do, what I say (type) and the
way I act. I do not in any way, shape or form ever condone those
that blame others for the way they behave. I do however
understand the concept of do unto others but many times people forget
that "as you would have others do unto you" part. Falsely blaming
others for the way I behave is a sure road
down the path of being a know-it-all or what they are calling a
narcissist now. Honest blaming leads to honest answers and honest
solutions. Taking responsibility for oneself instead of blaming
others is the major sign of maturity in someone. All know-it-alls
behave like they are mature but they are not mature when caught in a
blatant lie. But also, when someone else lies about someone, the
someone that is being lied about is going to be upset. And as
Karen used to say, "If you don't have nothing nice to say, it is better
to say nothing at all. What you do in your own house is your
business." Who wants to talk or be around a liar?
Exactly. If someone tries to badger me or tries to make
people think that there were words or thoughts that came out of my
mouth or head (or typewriter as the case may be) that did not actually
come out of my mouth or head (or again, typewriter) then I just
consider the source and what that source is. Karen never believed
in hatred or anger and did not have enemies that anyone has ever been
aware of. I am not Karen and although Karen and I were nearly
identical, there were a few differences between us. But maybe
not. In this case, a personal thought from Karen as Karen had
told me that Nicky Chinn was the guy that Karen had dated twice and
Karen broke up with Nicky twice for the same reason. Nicky had a
habit of speaking on Karen's behalf and putting words in Karen's
mouth. Karen broke up with Nicky twice for that same
reason. Nicky wasn't an enemy but Karen was not going to put up
with ANYONE that ever put words or thoughts in her mouth without
allowing Karen to speak for herself. Karen's family always let
Karen speak on her own behalf. Karen always let her family speak
on their own behalf too. Of course too, when it came
to talking about the dynamics behind the Carpenter sound and such,
Richard would be the one to talk about that stuff as Karen talking
about it would be like Karen trying to put words in Richard's
mouth. It works both ways. The goose and the gander.
If I feel it is wrong for someone else to do it to me, then it is also
wrong for me to do it to someone else too. Do unto others as you
would have others do unto you. Self responsibility and honesty, a
couple of a know-it-all's many weaknesses. And as such,
dishonesty and blame throwing are a know-it-all's strengths which when
caught being dishonest and throwing blame those supposed strengths
become weaknesses as well for the know-it-all. Who really wants
to be around someone that is dishonest and always feels they need to
blame everyone else. Sooner or later, these people will need to
blame you too to help keep their insanity intact.
Here is something good to learn. I am ambidextrous and I can
use both halves of my brain at the same time. Most people can
only use one side or the other of their brain at one time. One
side of the brain is emotional while the other side is
intellectual. When you understand that, you understand that those
being emotional are not being intellectual. Why are schools
nowadays stressing how someone is feeling being more important than
what they may be thinking? Rational thought is intellectual
thought whereas most times, emotional thought is irrational. Yes,
it is far easier to get someone to believe something that is not true
when someone is thinking irrationally instead of rationally. Did
you just learn something more? Remember, this is a Karen
Carpenter page and as with most biographies and autobiographies, you
may learn something about "the real world" when you read such
things. Even worst, reading a Karen Carpenter page and learning
about yourself too? An added bonus or possibly minus depending on
how your conscience is doing at this point. Do you understand now
how I know who has read this and who hasn't? Do you understand
now how others know whether someone read this or not? I am the
one writing this stuff so I know what I am writing. My conscience
is fine or else I wouldn't be able to write such things. I am
able to read such things too. From my experiences, those that
can't read such things normally have guilty consciences and need to
avoid such things because of their guilty consciences. That is
how others know
whether someone actually read this and probably learned something
useful about themselves and others or just say they read it and appear
very unlearned to those that have taken the time to read.
Remember, this is just about Karen Carpenter and all about my supposed
thinking how great I must have been to have known her. Worship me
in all my glory (which if you do manage to get down to that past lives
stuff and read about Karen and my past lives, this is pretty
funny. Those that know realize that I honestly do not try to put
myself above or below others or others above or below me. If
arguing with a sane person, two sane people can disagree and not worry
about it and can agree to disagree based on information shared.
No biggie as each person has their right to express themselves and sane
people think of each other as equals by sharing what they do or don't
know. Insane people feel
themselves to be superior or inferior to others (usually by hiding or
deflecting) and that always leads
to a mess of someone trying to prove how superior or inferior they are
to others instead of trying to be an equal. As I say, I'm fine;
it's others that I usually worry about. Karen was fine too and
had a good head on her shoulders. We can all make mistakes
though. We can all learn something too so that maybe we don't
keep making those same mistakes over and over again. Cool.
Believe it or not, Karen and I actually learned this lesson about
equality between us back in 1978. Karen also thought of herself
and Richard as being equals too. Working together with each
other's strengths to help try and overcome those weaknesses.
Together. We've only just begun. That is how I know Karen
rarely
felt herself to be inferior or superior to others. Your
turn. Try it. INFJ-A types like others being seen as equals
to themselves. By the way, you probably don't know this but an
INFJ-A type will try and lift up those feeling inferior or knock down
those feeling superior; equality). Equals, as working together
helps things get better, equals. We all have strengths and
weaknesses. We're all people and all people are different.
Working together gets people together to share
strengths and help overcome weaknesses. Even better,
realizing that you may be your own church, so to speak, and you might
want to worship yourself too instead of feeling you always need to be
subservant to others or have others always be subservant to you.
Choices we make. Choices others make. That and those that
say how all this is made up and must be 'fiction' because Karen died on
Saturday February 5th during American Bandstand and not on February 4th
while Richard went to New York State and not to New York City to see
Karen's "New manager" which must have been Phil Ramone, producer (a
manager is a step down from a producer, shh, and even more shh, Phil
Ramone lived on the border of Connecticut, just barely in New York, aka
Pound Ridge just a short ways from New York City), even though Phil
Ramone
lived near New York City and where Richard went to see this new manager
was about 5 hours driving time away from New York City (or about a 20
to 25 minute charter flight, possibly 5 to 10 minutes in a Leer Jet
even, who knows? Richard?). Karen was
so in love with John Adrian who was married to someone else and so
Karen couldn't possibly mean another guy who's first name was Adrian in
her diaries. And Bruce Forsyth always talks about how Ace the
sound is on every show. And remember that Karen always sang sad
songs like "Top of the World" and "Please Mr. Postman" and "Only
Yesterday" and "Goofus" and
"Sweet Sweet Smile" and "All You Get from Love Is A Love Song" and oh
so many sad songs that most people have lost count (sarcasm included
here as these aren't actually sad songs). This stuff written here
that appears to make sense for a change must be made up as all that
other
stuff that doesn't sound right or make sense must be true. Just
ask those that
said they have read this yet don't understand that others did actually
read this and know better. Better, you know, self improvement,
bettering oneself?
For those that read this, you will learn about Karen, herself.
That is part of the reason why all of the hoopla of trying to demonize
me and such over the
internet as those trying to keep people from learning the truth do not
want you reading this. These are actual insights from Karen and
about Karen from one of the top people that was closest to Karen.
There was Richard, mom (Agnes), dad (Harold), grand ma ma Rudolph, and
Mark and Mary Rudolph and then me in that somewheres followed by a
few others. You will find the actual information in here about
the reasons why Karen decided to marry Thomas Burris as well as Karen
telling me the actual reasons why she was looking to divorce Thomas as
well. I do not cover for anyone in this, myself included.
These are actual events and actual dialogues between myself, Karen and
several others as well and painstakingly kept as exact as possible for
a reference. A case in point is when I talk about Richard
visiting in mid May 1979, I put all the talks Karen and I had before
then into this and then the day after Richard visited, Karen and I
talked about how Karen was the one who was behind all that "Richard is
going to force me to come home" stuff and that Karen was actually the
one that wanted to go home but after things had turned out better than
Karen expected, Karen decided to stay on as a teacher. As far as
the "past life" stuff, that was the full talk between Karen and me
about that including all the names that came up and such. And if
those names that were discussed didn't raise eyebrows then I know you
didn't read this. The past life stuff
actually applies more to the full "Interesting" page I wrote but also
massively ties into things that happened between Karen and me.
The stuff with the Dalai Lamas as well as Rod Temperton and also into
part of that attraction between Karen and me tie into the past life
talk. Karen was not
looking for a guy that was about 15 years younger than her. I
also wasn't looking for a woman that was about 15 years older than me
either. Karen also knew I was not looking for a celebrity either
or looking for myself to be a celebrity. But then Karen and I had
all these odd (strange, weird, whatever) experiences between us that
were unique and different and Karen and I both loved being unique and
different. And the big one of Karen and I liked being child-like
(not childish) as adults tend to get cranky when being serious.
As you will read, Karen and I could be serious and it was still fun for
us. Seriously having fun was the primary reason for Karen and me
wanting to be together. This is actually a page about Karen the
person and not as much about Karen the superstar or Karen the
anorexic. This is Karen "behind the scenes" so to speak.
Karen was very adamantly against women being seen as 'sex
objects'. With that viewpoint being against what the media
wanted, of course the media looked to make Karen look like a 'square'
and a 'prude' and 'old-fashioned' and stuff like that.
And for those easily
brainwashed and claiming to read this when I know
you haven't read this, really? You know all this stuff?
Others can read too you know. If you actually know all this stuff
then why isn't what you type a reflection of what you are saying you
know then? If you are that naive to believe
someone saying they read this when it is obvious they haven't then more
power to you. I didn't write this to be popular or make money off
it or any of that nonsense and it is obvious as last I knew being hated
by a bunch of dishonest posters isn't exactly a key to being popular or
such.
And yes, dishonest posters as when asked about anything, they say they
read this yet they have no clue as to what is written here just what
others have said they saw written here (which is usually another lie
too as many that have actually read this are finding out now after
adding this top section which is a bit more detailed about the life
lessons mentioned in the bottom section for those that read the bottom
section before).
And as an example here (non
specific), a person posts that Agnes (mom) and Richard were against
Karen doing a solo album. I post back that Richard and Agnes were
never against Karen doing a solo album with examples (you may see
later) of words of encouragement from Richard and such as well as a
link to the Time Line page and
instructions to read #6 and #7 on that
page. The poster then says how they read what I wrote and then
posts another short blurb again about how Agnes and Richard were
against Karen doing a solo album. Why don't a bunch of
know-it-alls and their henchmen
(flying monkeys I guess they are called now) want you reading this or
talking with me? Why all of the hoopla and defensiveness from
others? It is odd too as some of those that have read this know
people that knew Karen and Richard and when saying something like
"Karen had the nickname Pudge?" or "Karen used to tie a string around
her finger to remind her of things?" the other people look at them and
ask "How did you know that?" But then too these ones that said
they read this but obviously haven't, try and tell others how this was
made up and done from stuff on the internet. Really? So
Karen knowing Max Baer Jr. is all over the place? Eddie Kramer
being the first producer thought of for Karen's solo album is all over
the place too supposedly despite no one seeing it anywhere else.
Let alone Karen being a school teacher and all that. And that
'teacher' picture later as people had been asking "how did people not
know it was her?" and then of course the funny part of "That doesn't
look like her. You're lying." or "She was lying and she
sure had you fooled that she was Karen Carpenter." (as did Richard
Carpenter, Paul Williams and so many others celebs.html
that Karen and I met together) Exactly my point here.
So really? You're that gullible? You honestly think I
should be that gullible too? Not happening on my end but feel
free to do what you feel the need to do on your end. Choices and
possible resulting consequences from making those choices, myself
included. And with that being said, what do I have to fear from
those that lie? More lies? No biggie. You get used to
the lies and those that spew them forth. But what do liars have
to fear from those that are
being honest? Being caught? Being exposed? Being
shamed? Being embarrassed? Being disgraced? Those are
biggies. That is why liars always fear honest people and liars
will stop at nothing to hassle honest people because of their fear of
being caught, exposed, shamed, embarrassed and disgraced through no
fault but their own. And after liars are caught, they ask for
sympathy and pity and leniency and mercy and all of that.
Pathetic. You won't see honest people asking for sympathy or pity
or leniency or mercy. Yes, inner strength, courage and
wisdom. Try it for
yourself sometime. It's that actual armor stuff they talk about
in churches sometimes plus that old saying, "I'm made of rubber.
You're made of glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks
on you." Armor. The
school teacher stuff with Karen was hidden and has never been lied
about as only a few knew. Until I popped my head up in 2019,
those that knew, knew there was a bit more to Karen's story that was
not made public. As far as I've ever known, only Karen, Richard,
myself and a guy named Sir Nicholas Born knew the details to the
reasons why the
school teacher
information was kept quiet but others did know (but didn't know the
details) and have kept quiet
about it as well. If
you read farther, you will find that the answers were because Karen
used an alias and that the guy that Karen met while being a school
teacher could not have my name or picture made public and I couldn't
talk nor be talked about publicly. How can you discuss someone
publicly that is not allowed to be discussed publicly? So it was
hidden (but not lied about, just not mentioned aka hidden as it could
not be publicly mentioned). Since 1983, the school where Karen
taught is now an apartment complex, the place where Karen stayed with
her step cousin Wendy is owned by someone else and has been extensively
remodelled, the school records are for a non high school that does not
exist as a school anymore and those records are not public if they even
still exist anywhere, my name appears to be able to be made public now
and what can be legally done to a person that used an alias to hide her
celebrity status from others after that person has passed away, and
even more, with so much detail about stuff that happened - an interview
or such would end up being just a big mess so it was written out so the
information would be more accurate and more complete as with a web page
the information can be edited too if something doesn't seem quite right
or gets misunderstood and such. And if you haven't noticed, these
top paragraphs are just short blurbs compared to what comes up
later. A massive amount of information. Unfortunately with
the amount of misinformation being spread and partial stories being
told, this section became quite long. Many movies and books and
such by others had information that was conveniently left out in some
cases while in other cases, some things were not allowed to be
mentioned publicly which led to more incomplete information and a
larger mess. For those looking, this should help supply most (but
not all) of that missing information as well as explanations as best as
possible in most cases. So many times I have seen stuff about
Karen chopped up so badly that what was said originally is the complete
opposite of what others are saying. That was why I wrote all this
out. Many times a head scratch turned into a butt scratch because
there is no way someone that isn't brain dead could say such a thing
that is not backed up with information to support it (like Rob
Hoerburger's New York Times written mess that is just so
illogical). Many times I caught myself asking myself, who are
these dishonest people that are trying to convince people that Richard
and Agnes
Carpenter were / are liars? Why doesn't
this sound right? What's missing? Is this intentionally
misleading or a mistake (note to self, avoid the word liar at times as
a liar will never admit that they lied / still lie)? What's
wrong? Huh?
What? Really? If the coaxial plane of a hybrid wildebeast
were to collapse unto itself would anyone care? Surely you can't
be serious and please stop
calling me Shirley. And of course...
I knew what to expect from the internet as like with the real world
since when has an honest person ever been liked? A guy got nailed
to a cross around 2000 years ago for being honest and it hasn't changed
much
before or since then. OK, an exception
as Karen Carpenter was liked, but however the image others are trying
to make about Karen isn't very honest and I have been noticing (like
others) how that false image appears to be more liked by some than
Karen, herself, which I feel is a shame really as Karen really was a
wonderful person. Yes, Karen had anorexia, Karen believed in
empathy and not sympathy, but no Karen never
felt unloved nor bullied nor controlled by her family, no Karen was not
looking to
ever leave the Carpenters, no Karen wasn't mixed-up or confused, yes
those trying to say that Karen was mixed-up or confused are usually the
ones that are mixed-up or confused themselves, yes speaking of mixed-up
and confused it was a mess for therapy for Karen as Karen's family was
the ones suggesting the therapy and the therapists kept trying to
insist that Karen's family didn't care about Karen (yes for some reason
this is actually confusing as how could someone that is urging someone
else to get help from others be considered uncaring?), yes I thought it
was
obvious too that since Karen did do a solo album without leaving the
Carpenters that Karen didn't have to leave the Carpenters to make a
solo album and also obvious that Karen was not planning on leaving the
Carpneters or else why did Karen shelve her solo album and then work on
Made In America just after her solo album was shelved, yes Karen was
the one who
shelved her solo album (as if Karen hadn't shelved it Herb Alpert,
Jerry Moss, Jerry Weintraub and Phil Ramone would have released it and
it was in Karen's name so Richard and Agnes couldn't do anything about
it if Karen had decided to release it, which as Karen said to me on
June 12, 1981, "Releasing that album would have been the biggest
mistake of my career as my recording contract had an image clause in it
and that album could have definitely jeopardized my contract with
A&M because of all that sexual content stuff Phil had me
do. That album would have probably wrecked my image and my
career. I love being the girl next door. I'm a romantic at
heart as you know. I don't want to change that and I'm not
looking to be seen as another sleaze bucket. There's enough of
those out there as it is and I'm not looking to be just one more notch
in some slime ball's belt." Side note also, I don't know for sure
but I also have a feeling that Agnes never knew about that solo album
but I don't ever remember Karen saying that for sure to me. I
know when Karen, Agnes and me talked over the phone in late March or
early April 1979 that Karen's mom didn't know about Karen doing a solo
album, just that Richard and Karen had a disagreement about 'whatever'
and that Karen should do 'whatever' so that Richard could spend time
with Mary Rudolph and maybe get the pitter patter of little feet around
the house),
yes if someone doesn't want to sing they don't have to sing so it makes
no sense at all about forcing someone to sing (note, a cattle prod
would make for some odd notes and holding a gun on someone might work
if you want that person to sound nervous but would make for an odd
recording on love songs and such), yes Karen was a millionaire and did
not have to live at home but she liked it there with her mom dad and
brother, yes Mary Rudolph was an adopted cousin and not an actual blood
relation, there was not any incest between Richard and Karen, true
Richard and Agnes Carpenter are not narcissists, no
Richard and Agnes Carpenter aren't lying about Karen, yes phonies want
you to believe that Richard and Agnes are liars despite when has a
phoney ever been honest, true that those trying to accuse Richard and
Agnes of being narcissists or liars are most likely narcissists and
liars
themselves (phonies live in a fantasy world that
always revolves around
them and their minions [flying monkeys, henchmen/henchwomen,
whatever]. Where are Agnes and Richard's minions? They
don't have
any? That's odd. All phonies [narcissists, know-it-alls]
always have
to have minions), yes many have been putting
words and ideas on
Karen that
Karen never had, yes Karen didn't blame others for her problems as that
would be against her (and my) INFJ-A MBI personality type, yes
Karen rarely had arguments with her mom or her brother, yes Karen did
feel like her mom was being overprotective of her and Richard at times,
no Karen never felt controlled by her family but Karen had felt
controlled by others (Phil and Itchie Ramone, Steven Levenkron, Thomas
Burris, Nicky Chinn, Max Baer Jr., most therapists and probably a few
others I am forgetting here) and so on. For those afraid of facts
outweighing opinion, that should help expose a few people out there and
why they are afraid and don't want you reading this. Fear creates
cowards. Cowards create know-it-alls and narcissists that try and
control people through fear and intimidation to get you to join them
and be like them or face the consequences of being badgered and
such. For those that have or even haven't noticed,
I'm not afraid of anything. I enjoy people talking and asking
questions and
such as that is what has helped me realize what may need to be added to
this page or what may need clarification (big word for making something
easier to understand aka less vague aka 'make sense'). So what
are you waiting for
and what are you afraid of? OK, so everyone has a right to their
opinion but is that opinion backed by facts? Do you see why
people want people just reading little small blurbs instead of seeing
if those small blurbs actually have any factual truth to them?
Rob Hoerburger of the New York Times? "If anorexia
has classically been
defined as a young woman's struggle for control, then Karen was a prime
candidate, for the two things she valued most in the world - her voice
and her mother's love - were exclusively the property of
Richard." In reality, Karen controlled her
own voice
and mom controlled mom's
love so huh? Yes, I already explained how
messed up this statement is by Rob if you actually read this so
far. OK, yes, they need to redefine
that anorexia control stuff if that is what Rob is trying to say here I
hope. If that is not what Rob is trying to say then what is
written doesn't make any sense. Well, actually, what Rob said
doesn't make sense honestly when you think about it and it is what is
known as tabloid sensationalism in journalistic circles and I believe
that it was a quote (Itchie, Frenda, Cherry?) used and not Rob,
himself, saying that nonsense. The
truth
about the choices that
people make (including the reader). And with this being said
(typed, whatever)...
As far as people with 'disabilities'. People have
abilities. The more things people work with, the more abilities a
person can develop. Giving up is a disability. Trying is an
ability. You don't get better or more comfortable with something
by giving up. Empathy, not sympathy. You can try or give
up. Your choice. Work at your own pace too. Being
slower is not really a disability like being faster is not really an
ability. Fast and slow are speeds not abilities. Feel free
to be yourself and not what others want or wish you to be. More
choices. Speaking of choices...
If you have been able to wade through this stuff above so far, please
hang in there as this is just getting stuff "off my chest" so to speak
about the junk I have been dealing with from others in
internet posting communities. After you get passed the --- lines
below it gets into the actual information about Karen and me and our
times together. This is a very long forward to weed out those
that feel they know-it-all and therefore feel they don't have to learn
anything more since they know it all. I am also trying to weed
out those that feel they are just like Karen. The ones that think
they are just like Karen want Karen to be just like them instead of
being Karen Carpenter. These types probably should leave now too
as this page isn't about the image that certain people are trying to
paint of Karen but about a part of Karen's actual life. If
looking to see what Karen was actually like and some hidden events that
Karen actually went through then keep reading. If you are looking
to reinforce some predetermined image that you already have of Karen
then stop reading now. This is about real life and real people
and real events, not about superstardom and all that image type
stuff. In real life Karen was not much for pity parties and
trying to blame everyone else for her own problems either. As
Karen was a very honest person, I felt this should be a very honest
page as well. This top part is also for
those that feel they know things but don't feel they know it all and
try to learn more like myself. But also, without knowing this top
stuff, the rest of this could become one confusing mess. This is
just a discussion about what is to follow. What is to follow are
the details that fill in the blanks and provide the details about this
top discussion part. Yes, there is a lot of information here to
digest, so feel free to take breaks when needed. All people are
different and learn at different speeds. Like they say, "Pace
yourself". This page is massive. And also, during this
pause here, Karen believed in being yourself whatever that may
be. Karen always wanted to be a baseball player and a
pitcher. She was a drummer who sang for a living. Karen was
her own person and she tried to encourage others to be themselves too
whatever that may be. Be happy with who you are. That is
Karen. Herself. Karen also believed in having an
imagination and being yourself allows people to open up that
imagination more than trying to imitate someone else. Be proud of
who you are and always strive to do your best in whatever you do.
We each have our own lives to live and it would be really boring if
everyone was just like everyone else. Karen would always want
someone to be just like themselves and not try to follow in her
footsteps. But if you are trying to follow in Karen's footsteps
then by all means keep trying out to be a major league baseball pitcher
some day like Karen wanted to be. There is only one you.
Yourself. We're all people so we all have something in common,
but we're also all different and unique. Same difference.
We be us. Us be we. Aha, I see says the blind man
(or woman or eunuch or hermaphrodite or the rest that don't know the
difference between a burro and a burrow)...
And speaking of Karen herself... Karen had thought of possibly
having me work on doing her autobiography. Without Karen,
herself, to confirm what Karen, herself, wanted written, it only
becomes guess work. This is apparent with thinking of the title
Karen would have wanted. Would it be "Karen Carpenter in my Own
Words" or "Karen Myself" or "Karen Carpenter - Ten Pounds of Stuff in a
Five Pound Bag" "Just Being Me - The Karen Carpenter Story" or "Just
Being Myself - Karen Carpenter" or "Music for Your Ears - The Karen
Carpenter Story" or "Tomboys and Mud Pies - Karen Carpenter" or
something else even. It would have been Karen's autobiography and
although I would have written it, Karen would have the ultimate
decision of what was published. Karen would have also had more
ideas to go with the ideas that I had as well. But I know it
would have had several themes to it and it would have been a lot about
life in general and how it tied into Karen's personal life. Being
youself and being proud of who you are. Family was a big part of
Karen and that would have been a large part of what was included.
Also, nothing negative or anything that could be taken as being
negative. Many life stories interwoven around philosophies about
life in general with a positive outlook. It would have started
with family stories and growing up as part of a family, going to
school, playing baseball, getting into music, friendships, Richard and
Joanie and mom and dad, being on the road, boyfriends and so on and so
forth. It is a good thought but unfortunately without Karen
around anymore, it could never be an honest reality, just an
attempt. With that is why I do not figure ever doing a
pseudoautobiography or such for Karen. It could never be totally
accurate without Karen, herself. And with that thought, I can do
my own autobiography in my own words and such. And after what has
happened with Moses, Jesus, Judas of Iscariot, Mary Magdala, Alexander
the Great, the Messiah and Karen Carpenter too, writing about myself in
my own words I feel is a great idea for anyone, not just the rich or
famous or such. Imagine if God had wrote his own story. "I
am the beginning. I wasn't just 'in the beginning'. And
this is the
story of how it all happened and why..." At least I know what I'm
thinking. What was I thinking? Oh yeah, er, um...
First, before continuing
here, a little test I created on November 29, 2020 for the reader (you
and me as I read this too). Note that before November 29, 2020
nowhere on this
web page (the word did appear on the Time Line web page when talking
about the video I did around early March 2020) has the word pedophile
ever appeared until now. Let us put
this nonsense to rest now shall we? A pedophile is an adult who
is sexually attracted to or engages in sexual acts with a child
(prepubescent).
(or in psychiatry) A person aged 16 years old or older who is mostly or
only
sexually attracted toward prepubescent children.
For the record here and before reading any further, if you can explain to me how two
people that have a rule of not physically touching each other can have
actual sex with each other (not imaginary sex or fantasy or whatever
but actual sex), I'm all ears here and you are in a place of
enlightenment that has yet to be reached by any sane individual so
please stop reading this page at this point (unless you would rather
get an earful [or eyeful as the case may be]). This page is non
fiction (real life) and not fiction (made up) and if you feel that two
people can have sex together without touching each other, that is
definitely fiction and you are definitely in the wrong mindset to try
and understand this non fiction page. Fiction also needs to be
written to be believable, so honestly I feel this pedophile nonsense
being spread belongs in the bullsh*t department. Non fiction
(real life), fiction (made up, not real life, but could make sense),
and bullsh*t (made up, makes no sense when questioned logically,
illogical nonsense). Non fiction is what happened whether
believable or not and explained as best as possible as some stuff
really just can't be explained that well in real life. If you can't tell me how two
people that have a rule that they can't physically touch each other can
have sex with each other then please proceed in reading. A
pedophile is someone wishing to have sex with a child and how two
people could have sex without touching each other just boggles my mind
too which was why I asked the others to stop reading. I thought
this was obvious but evidently not or I wouldn't need to be writing
this paragraph here. There was
both an emotional and physical attraction between Karen and I but
honestly, Karen and I both decided to wait until I got older for the
physical part.
Does a pedophile wish to wait until someone gets older or would waiting
until someone gets older make that person not a pedophile? Well,
Karen and I waited. What pedophile? We talked about sex
(hence adult content here) but we both agreed not to physically touch
each
other and to wait until I got older (Karen and I met on Wednesday
September 6, 1978 and Karen and I both agreed to the rule of not
physically touching each other after Karen had said something like,
"you can give me a hug if you like? I don't bite." and my saying
something like, "I would love to, but you know how some people talk and
it probably wouldn't be a good idea with me being jailbait and all
that. Corning is a small area so why give gossipers more to talk
about?" or something like that on I believe Friday September 8, 1978
for a reference here and it was originally my rule suggestion as a
precaution because of the 'jailbait' issue and being in a 'small town
where people like to gossip and spread rumors' for another
reference as on September 8, 1978 I knew Karen as a teacher and not as
a celebrity or such at that time. And as a teacher... no physical
contact between us to be on the safe side as people like to gossip and
accuse in a small area and Karen had told me that it was her first time
teaching and that she was new to the area. I did not know about
the celebrity part until roughly
mid October 1978 and the celebrity part was just an added reason as
Karen being a celebrity would have made an even bigger mess than just
her being a teacher. And yes, Karen used an alias too which was
another problem publicity-wise).
And on March 1, 2022 here after being around the internet and seeing a
few things, I guess time to explain the paragraph above. I had
posted on a place about knowing Karen and that Karen and I had a rule
of not physically touching each other. After that a different
post appeared and in that post I ran across a guy who's initials are DV
when he posts. This guy then asks a different question away from
my other post and I answer the question. My other previous post
to this got deleted and then DV starts trying to accuse me of trying to
make Karen out to look like a pedophile. And like said, my
previous post had been deleted as was his previous question as
well. So I laid into DV and called him a liar and asked him to
step outside and I was banned and such and come to find out recently,
DV, as I figured,
has been misleading others about what happened. This guy is a
snake in the grass and after all this time, it is time the snake's head
gets chopped off here. I know who the guy is as he did actually
meet Karen and Richard a couple times while doing interviews. The
truth is I also saw his name back in I believe November 1978 appearing
with an article that gets discussed later in the LIII Shrinks Part 2
section below. Back in 1978 I saw his name by an article and
through my own experience, this is definitely him. But back in
November 1978 there was a tabloid that published an article about Karen
and the article was referring to an incident that actually happened in
February 1978 according to Karen (and again, discussed in the LIII
Shrinks Part 2 section below). Karen told me that DV creeped her
out as every time they did an interview, DV would start using words
like "gorgeous" and such with Karen which like said, this guy creeped
Karen out during the interviews so any interviews with Karen and
Richard and DV definitely give them a listen from this guy DV as Karen
would probably sound a bit nervous and / or not talk as much after
being creeped out by DV. But it wasn't the interviews but like I
said, around November 1978 there was an article published in a tabloid
about Karen with DV's name attached to it (and yeah, for fuller info
read the LIII Shrinks Part 2 section below). Karen threw a fit
and if you read that stuff down there in the LIII section you will know
what happened there between Karen and me after Karen saw that article
that DV had published in a tabloid around November 1978. Yes, the
article was about an incident that Karen said happened back in February
1978 between a therapist (who I believe the therapist's name is
Stephen) and her and her mom. A really nasty incident and the
story was not near accurate like it is below in section LIII. For
a reference here, beware of DV as from Karen's and now my own
experience, this guy is very dishonest, Dishonest Dan if you
wish. The therapist that talked with DV was not honest with DV
and like said, the full story is down below in section LIII but for a
talk here, the therapist had left out the stuff to DV where Karen had
dropped the 'f bomb' on the therapist and where the therapist got in
trouble for not doing his job properly. But Karen chewed the guy
out and then Karen's mom walked Karen out to the car and then Karen's
mom went back in and chewed out the entire mental health clinic for
what happened in February 1978. So yeah, like I keep repeating
here, read section LIII below. But yes, that article written by
Dan based on information from a dishonest therapist (I believe named
Stephen, so if you see some therapist saying they worked with Karen
from the LA mental health clinic and he is a male, heads up that every
male therapist there at the LA mental health clinic did not help Karen
and they absolutely refused to work with Karen after what happened that
you can read about in Section LIII below which was why, yes, when
Levenkron called up the LA mental health clinic I believe there were 4
there that stated correctly that they could not work with Karen on her
anorexia, there was one woman that was a student, but as far as the men
therapists and such at the clinic, don't believe them unless they say
there were problems that they weren't / aren't allowed to talk
about). And now
back to that tabloid article again. But yes, after Karen picked
up a copy of that article, she got a copy to Richard and Richard
proceeded to get a hold of a lawyer and they went after the
paper. Note now, the lawyer won the lawsuit but the lawsuit was
sealed up I believe and for the court case it was very simple.
The lawyer came in, the judge looked at the cover and glanced to the
article and then just asked the newspaper lawyer there if the paper had
published the article he had. The paper said "yes" and the judge
then ruled in favor of the plaintiff and the judge stated that the
pictures for the article were obviously not pictures of Karen and as
such, without even getting into the article, the judge ruled in favor
of the plaintiff. If I remember from Karen as well, Richard and
Karen didn't collect on that and the paper folded and changed their
name to a similar but legally different name. But if DV or some
therapist from the LA mental health clinic pop their heads up and say
they know Karen, they did. But also, they don't want you knowing
the rest of what happened on February 1978 that had it so that the
clinic itself absolutely refused to ever
work with Karen or her mom again. But also, remember, both legal
and
psychiatric cases are supposed to be kept confidential. But if
you run across a man saying they treated Karen at the LA mental health
clinic consider the source as a bad source about Karen as Karen refused
to go there again after what had happened in February 1978 and the
clinic refused to deal with Karen again after what had happened as
well. There was more to what happened than what others have ever
stated and my information came direct from Karen, herself. But
also remember too, that there is supposed to be patient / therapist
confidentiality which was not kept which resulted in a lawsuit, which
resulted in Karen not being able to go public about her therapy and the
therapists were not supposed to go public either, but they have, so
fair game I figure. Just a heads up about a few possible people
that you may run across that have some definite skeletons in their
closets and try and blame others but also try and keep others away from
me and this page. So your choice as it is mine as well. But
to repeat, how can two people that have a rule of not touching each
other have sex together? Yeah, DV and any of those therapists
can't answer that one nor read this page either. Just a heads up
for ya that after reading this, you'll know why too. And it is
known as a smear campaign for those that wonder. Those that have
something to hide try and defame and smear the one that has the
information that they don't wish others to find or see. And as is
said, that which has been seen can not be unseen.
And, oh cripe, I keep forgetting about writing about this and it was
probably one of the most talked about things at one time over the
internet so I will stick it here I guess. As far as taking care
of and dealing with kids (children)... First, if you can't figure
out what went on in the paragraph above, you definitely need to
reconsider the thought of having unprotected sex let alone having
children (if you or someone you are planning on having sex with are
still reading after what was written above and you still believe that
two people that don't touch each other can have actual sex together
then I definitely recommend abstinance and distance as a form of birth
control). And as Karen would say to me, "If you haven't been
noticing, I've been grooming you to be my husband" and as I would say
back to Karen, "And if you haven't noticed, I'm also briding you to be
my wife" and then we would say at the same time, "What's good for the
goose is good for the gander". We already agreed on the house
with a white picket fence and our own china pattern with a two car
garage with a dog and two point four kids. Yes, two point four
kids, a boy, a girl, and a point four midget that we keep in the
basement like every other typical american family at the time.
Statistics don't lie you know. Karen loved and adored taking care
of babies and
toddlers and I was more for the older toddlers and later. So
infant and toddler, Karen, older, me although we would both work
together. In 1978 to 1979, Karen and I honestly had some
thoughtful discussions about this. Cloth diapers, safety pins,
rubber pants, Johnson's baby powder, the works. That stuff was
being phased out at the time though, but we weren't much for
'disposables' and all that. There was, however, a company out in
California that still ran a cloth diaper service (Karen checked).
As far as our own kids, we were going
to raise them to take care of themselves. Infants and toddlers
can't take care of themselves, but as they started getting older they
were going to learn to "earn their keep" like Karen and I had both
learned. Chores definitely as they got older. No emotional
outbursts and we were not going to raise any 'spoiled brats'. Dad
(me) had the louder voice so I would be the disciplinarian so to
speak. We also discussed too, no corporal punishment or
such. If needed though, restraint as we weren't going to let a
kid just throw a tantrum or such. At the table, we need to talk
or in the corner until you can learn to behave then talk at the
table. Definitely the kids were not going to be babied (after
being old enough anyway). Karen and I were both cuddlers, but
like said, we weren't going to baby the kids. If they got hurt
somehow, brush it off and get back out there as that was how Karen and
I were ourselves. Karen and I both believed in empathy (you can
do it) and not sympathy (aw, poor baby). Karen and I weren't
going to raise any quitters. Hump busting 101. Church
(Methodist or Baptist, up to Karen really) and community and helping
others. Karen and I
were both independent too and like said, the kids weren't going to be
babied. Brush your teeth; comb your hair; don't leave a mess;
clean up after yourself; if you take care of things they'll last
longer and help take care of you. Karen and I also weren't
selfish either, but people
appreciate things more when they earn them too. Don't make fun of
others as how would you feel if they made fun of you like that.
No arrogance allowed. Humility and humbleness but not a pushover
either. Stand your ground. And of course forgiveness and
repentance and penance and
all that too (kind of a theme of ours as you'll see if you read
further). Mush passed away in 1984, but as far as
the household, yes, we would have had at least a dog and pets.
With that was responsibility and with that responsibility is a good
lesson of "if you love something, you take care of that
something." Responsibility and learning to take care of stuff (or
you don't have any more until you learn to take care of what you
have). Also, definitely, "do unto others..." would have been
stressed most likely with "how would you feel if...?" type lectures as
the need arose. As far as Karen and Richard out on the road, I
would have stayed back and taken care of the house and such.
Jerry had already started booking tour dates for late February 1983,
so I would have stayed back and taken care of Mush and the house in
late February 1983. As far as Aunt Dumb Aleck and Uncle Smart
Aleck (or Aunt Karen and Uncle Ace and as they got older, Aunt Dumb Ass
and Uncle Smart Ass, well actually Aunt Honey as I know Karen liked the
dumb / smart thing there between us and dumb is a 'black sheep' thing,
but I just didn't like using that word for Karen, but there were some
stories in those names of Dumb Ass and Smart Ass as you'll possibly
read later. Nobody likes a smart ass, right dumb ass?
Precisely. Everyone loves a dumb ass, not a smart ass), if the
nieces or
nephew needed a break or were
having problems, yeah. No spoiling and no emotional outbursts or
such. No cussing either. Family is family and if the nieces
and nephew could tolerate the wackiness but also our "you need to
behave" intolerance (no fits or emotional outbursts and no "spoiled
brats" and such) then fine or else "you'd learn". But yeah, Karen
and I were a lot alike and with Richard and Mary... Rules and
boundaries as Richard and Mary would have their preferences too and
Karen and I would have respected that.
Karen actually knew about Richard and Mary but kept it a secret from
others (you'll read about that later). I also have a sister,
Robin, who had two daughters, and one
of the daughters has a daughter and a son. Family is family and
in the late 1980s my sister lived in San Diego then they moved to Yuma
Arizona then they moved back to New York in December 1989. My
sister's husband could be obnoxious at times, so Karen and I would have
been more with Richard and Mary and 'the folks (both sides)'. My
mom was actually a Karen Carpenter fan so would have been interesting
there. After the settling in after Karen and I would have eloped,
the grandparents are the grandparents. As Karen and I would have
been out in California, we would have been closer to Harold and Agnes
(Karen's folks) than to my folks, (Bud and Lee) in New York. The
tough part would have been Karen and I eloping and our explanation
would have been that we needed to because of the age difference and we
needed to get married on our own without any kind of fanfare from
others (and also with Karen after the Tom stuff, something different as
Tom definitely didn't work out so why repeat that). The
father-in-laws were both the types that liked to sit around and were
jacks of all trades and masters of none. The
mother-in-laws, oh boy. My mom would have been asking Karen's mom
all kinds of questions about Karen and Richard growing up. My mom
was also the oldest in my grandmother's family and had 5 younger
brothers and no sisters, so my mom was a tomboy (and no, I didn't nor
do I have an oedipus complex or whatever. I do have a 'tomboys
who like to make mud pies' and the 'I only have unique experiences with
a unique person' complexes though). Karen
and my mom-in-laws were both the no nonsense types. Yes, Karen
and I were both "in for it" as Karen and I loved to goof around but
both of our moms were the 'no nonsense' types and not much for
'foolishness' or 'clowning around'. Yes, Karen and I were both
'black sheep' and Karen and I were both proud of our nonsense,
foolishness and clowning around which probably would have kept our
moms and dads talking about it for days. The thing is though
that my mom's side was loaded
with tomboys and Karen would have fit right in with them. Karen
and I would have been alright with family (and non family) get
togethers and reunions and such, but as far as kids, unless Karen and I
were both on our deathbeds so to speak, we were taking care of our kids
and they were going to behave properly and responsibly. As any of
our kids would be someone that had "our blood" so to speak, yes, Karen
and I were the kind that we were actually tougher on our own than on
others. With "our blood" they should know better. But for
visits and such, Karen and I would have been about rules and behavior
and such but also about teaching life lessons and learning life skills
and such. Karen and I would have probably encouraged the kids to
be physically fit as Karen and I were the outdoors types, but Karen
and I were also 'bookworms' too. Books tend to be more open to
the imagination than movies. Definitely kid's books,
encyclopedias and a library and also baseballs and gloves and that kind
of stuff. Athleticism and intellectualism. And of course,
jokes and stories. I was actually the real life kind of guy and
Karen was the one with an imagination. I would have been the old
fart with stories of "I remember the time when..." where Karen would
have been the old fart's wife with stories of "Once upon a time there
was a Dragon Lady (Super Turtle, Flying Wombat, Courageous Kangaroo,
Lonely Teddy Bear, etc.)..." We definitely would have
had the full Dr. Seuss library (Theodore "Teddy" Geisel was/is my
favorite author) and also Grimm's Fairy Tales and Nursery Rhymes.
We also would have definitely had a music library too. Spike
Jones, Sheb Wooley (Ben Colder), Allan Sherman, David Seville & the
Chipmunks, Ray Stevens, Little
Jimmy Dickens, all the classics. Had Karen and I had kids, we
would have raised them to do chores, but the gender stuff would have
been interesting as Karen and I both realized that if something needed
to be done, it didn't matter gender so long as it got done. So
boys would have been taught to do dishes and girls taught to mow lawns
and such as a lesson
of "as you get older and have a husband or wife, if something should
happen, you should know how to do this stuff" with "work together" and
such. Boys have boy's things and girls have girl's things
normally but stuff can happen and stuff still needs to be done
sometimes. Yes, cooking and cleaning and such is "woman's work"
but men should learn to do it when the woman can't same as if a man
can't do it then the woman needs to wait until the man does it (unless
you might get a fine for an unmowed yard) or something like that.
Yes, standard boy / girl type roles, but with Karen and I, we were
always "work together" like with Karen and Richard of "work
together". "Stand your ground." "Grades aren't as important
as what you need to learn." "Plan ahead but always have a backup
plan just in case." "Don't get stuck in a rut." "We're not
normal and we like being different." Alternatives.
Manners. Family.
Honor. Dignity. Respect. Reputation.
Patience. And the
big question from kids as they get older, "How did mommy and daddy
meet?" which that is explained in a bit of detail later. Yes,
Karen and I had a lot of stories together to share with others.
Karen and I also knew a lot of secrets about each other too (which had
Karen not passed away and others not opened their big mouths to say
things untrue about Karen, those secrets would not have been included
here). Karen and I also had a lot of personal experiences to
share too, so it
may seem like we were going to be 'hard*ss' parents, so to speak,
underneath all of the responsibility stuff were a couple parents that
had a lot of wisdom and stories about how that wisdom came about to
share. As you'll read, Karen and
I went through a lot together, both good and bad. There was (and
still kind of is) a lot of love there and also a lot of shared unique
experiences between Karen and I between ourselves and with
others. And definitely, since raising kids is serious business so
to speak, Karen and I were jokesters and pranksters at heart.
Seriously? Well, kind of seriously. The kids would have
most likely developed a good sense of humor too and a happy home (as
Karen and I were usually happy around each other even during rough
times). Karen and I were both child-like too so the growing up
and ducks in a row type stuff our kids probably would have got from
their uncle Richard and aunt Mary and gramma Agnes and grampy
Harold and gramma Lee and grampy Bud and possibly uncle Bill (after
2010 or so uncle Shawn) and aunt Robin and great great uncles, great
great aunts, great uncles, great aunts, at least two great great
grammas (Et and Grace), great grandmas, great grampys, cousins
galore (if they got any growing up that
is. Learning responsibility is one thing but 'growing up' and
'being serious' just
wasn't for Karen or me. People tried; Karen and I were all right
with responsibility and such, but 'growing up and being serious' just
wasn't for us) and many friends too. And that first big
question from children, "Why?" which
we knew the answer to that as being, "because mom said so". All
the cute and cool stuff they got from mom and all the bad stuff was
from dad (even though Karen and I were pretty much identical in
personality). Yeah, together, Karen and I had a lot of family on
both sides to try and keep track of (and a bit of juicy gossip on both
sides
too which would have kept Karen busy trying to keep up on all that
stuff). And more
here as Karen and I were going to focus more on intellectual over
emotional thinking with kids. Emotional people are rarely
rational and after our own personal experiences, Karen and I wanted
kids that
thought things out rationally and not emotionally (usually when
emotional
thoughts kick in, rational thoughts go out the window, so we wanted
our kids to have a good rational head on their shoulders as much as
possible. Emotions were fine so long as they have some
sensibility attached with them I guess you could say. And
honestly if you look at all the emotional nutcases out there today that
are easily brainwashed and just rely on emotion without intellect,
Karen and I had the right idea for raising 'healthy' children.
Honestly, throwing a fit and being destructive for not getting your way
is not 'healthy').
So yeah, lots of stories to pass on to the
kids from Karen and me, but wasn't meant to be I guess as we didn't
have kids. The other part, if Karen had got pregnant, with the
anorexia, we would have had to have kept a constant watch on her.
Of all the guys around Karen over the years, I was probably the most
likely to have been able to deal with Karen being pregnant. But
yes, pregnant women gain weight. If anorexia kicks in, it can be
a
real experience (probable restraint and such to keep her from possibly
hurting herself or the baby). I knew what to look for as
Karen would behave oddly when anorexia was kicking in (Karen would
usually start being a little distant from being personal and almost
arrogant as Karen would start thinking that since she was getting
thinner she could do whatever she darned well pleased 'almost' as
everyone likes women that are thin since all thin women are attractive
and cute like little girls. Karen was normally very warm, caring,
funny, modest and frugal. When anorexia kicked in, Karen would
start
behaving almost like a 'spoiled little brat' compared to her normal
self. It wasn't anorexia per se or a Jekyll & Hyde type
thing, but it was a side effect of her becoming more determined, which
with the anorexia, Karen was more determined to be 'straight as a
board'
and with that determination she wasn't as warm,
caring,
funny, modest or frugal. Also, Karen and I had a habit of being
what people called scatter brained. Karen and I would be talking
about one thing then switch to something completely different and then
back to something else without missing a beat. When anorexia was
kicking in, Karen might start getting sidetracked and miss a beat here
or there). Also would
have had to have her mom and her dad and brother look in on her
too. Constant serveillance which Karen would have tried to revolt
against and sneak off and such. Also, with the arrhythmia
(irregular heartbeat) probably would have had to have kept Karen
monitored too. Morning sickness and all the fun that goes with
that. Empathy (no sympathy) pains, Pickled ice cream and stork
jokes of course. I knew
the risks as did Karen know the risks if Karen had got pregnant.
Karen wanted totally natural child birth. No epidurals (you'll
read about that later under the Great Outdoors section) under any
circumstances. No c-section (caesarean). And if Karen
ripped my arm off and shoved it where the Sun don't shine during child
birth that was fine with her, so it would have been fine with me too
(what choice did I have). And Karen would have been fine, but I
would have been a nervous wreck
worrying about everything had Karen got pregnant. Yes, this is
actually real life (non fiction) written
here
and all of the head scratching that goes along with being honest about
stuff that happened (or could have happened). I hope
this helps some people at least (it helped me realize how confusing
this stuff can be sometimes). Dogs fart too? Barking
spiders? Breaking wind (or smoke break is you prefer)?
Speaking of the internet...
[You are getting sleepy]
And another internet pet peeve (and a huge lecture) of mine I guess
added on December 3,
2020 here. Whenever someone tells me that they have read this and
then turns around and tries to tell me that they found most of this
stuff on the internet before means I know that you have never read nor
do you plan on reading this and you just wish to go with whatever other
people tell you to think (like the pedophile statement above).
Yes, I
did add stuff in as people had talked about stuff and asked questions
over the internet, but really the full past lives stuff (outside
Yahtsodharai, Rahula and Buddha) isn't out there nor the story about
Eddie Kramer being the first producer thought of for Karen's solo
album [and you are
getting lost in the thought of being sleepy, very sleepy], the
story behind the start of the "Rock with You" song and the
"Off the Wall" song too, why Karen didn't back out of getting married,
what actually happened between Karen and Tom and why Karen wanted a
divorce (it wasn't just the vasectomy), Phil Ramone's bank accounts and
his assets being froze, the nonsense from Phil Ramone
about Karen's solo album,
Karen's actual "new manager" story and why, The Compound - Snitchy -
A**hole - Number One - Number Two and Spaz, Karen's therapy and why
that was a mess and what Karen herself had to say about that stuff,
where did Karen's middle name Anne come from?, Pudge [your eyelids are getting very
heavy, heavy with the thought of sleep, sleep], what really
happened
before Karen passed away and why no one can be
honestly blamed for Karen passing away, the reasons behind why many
things were hidden and what was actually hidden (there weren't answers
for some things and others couldn't talk publicly that had those
answers, also the rule of 'nothing negative' which I explain about here
and yeah I broke that rule now and hopefully explained why it is a good
rule as usually the ones talking negative about others have stuff to
hide and you can bet I wrote what they are hiding too - Phil Ramone,
Itchie,
Levenkron, therapists, fiction writers, bullsh*t writers, etc.
[You are wanting to nod off to
slumberland, into the land where there aren't any problems and
everything and everyone is happy, happy] Yeah, I ratted on
some rats and
myself as well here. But what did I rat on myself about?
What do I have to hide too? It's in there which points to who did
and didn't read this), Karen
dressing up as
the Wicked Witch of the West for Halloween in 1978, Karen being an
eighth grade english teacher from September 6, 1978 to June 22, 1979,
stories about Karen and Rod working on Karen's solo album, Karen's
relatives on the Carpenters's side and some family history ("Crisco,
fat in the can"), Karen blaming herself for Richard's pill addiction
after the motorcycle accident in 1973, Wayne Newton, Otto and Elfriede
Frank, Marcel Marceau, Sally Field, Max Baer Jr., Max Baer, Buddy
Ebsen, Mary
Martin, Dumb Ass and Smart Ass, soul mates, diaries or journals,
hyperglycemia and on and freaking on here. There's nearly an
encyclopedia of events and information here about Karen that is not
found anywhere else. [Your
eyes are getting heavy] And jeepers, it is really kind of
silly that some people that never met Karen think they know
everything there is to know about her by reading books and watching
movies. Kind of the same as those that say they read the Bible so
they know God. Really, so what does God look like or sound
like? [Crickets without Buddy Holly, then change subject and hope
others don't catch on...] That kind of stuff. Those trying
to play like they are God or whatever they think they are while making
little to no sense in the process. That's how I know that certain
ones
just believe what others tell them and that they never read this
because
others told them not to or told them they read it when they honestly
did
not ever read this and are just lying to keep others from reading
this since they don't want others to realize that the information that
some are
providing isn't truthful nor accurate. Who am I to tell you what
you can and
can't do? Some freaking web page? And why are you talking
to yourself now after reading this? [Pay no nevermind to this stuff in
pink as it is not essential but is subliminal. You know that you
are thinking this but this is supposed to be in your subconscious and
not your conscious thought] And why would
people not want others to read this web page anyway? Someone with
a probably
fragile and falsely inflated
ego and a
ton of narcissism perhaps? Read for yourself and find out rather
than take
others's words for it and being a sheep that gets led astray to follow
a mindless crowd of minions all of the time to try and be popular and
fit in with everyone else instead of being yourself and being able to
be honest. Look around you and
since when have honest people ever been popular (nailed to a cross
maybe, but not popular when alive or they wouldn't have been nailed to
a cross now would they [I?])? So when [blank]s try to
convince others that I did this to be popular or whatever I just
consider the source = overlords, wolves, sheep, flying monkeys,
etc. [Yes, subliminal as
part of your subconscious is getting very sleepy at this point]
Honest, if Karen was still alive she would wish to be
telling people her actual stories to hopefully help others understand
better and maybe be able to figure stuff out for themselves and be able
to help themselves solve their problems possibly as Karen had been
working on solving her own problems too. Sharing is caring
(Karen). And
you can't honestly solve a
problem without being honest about that problem. And Karen
definitely had some other problems besides anorexia that she didn't
want made public either at the time (arrhythmia and a pacemaker among
several
others). People asked. There are still a few things that I
am keeping private for personal reasons (and yeah, if you actually read
this and have your eyebrows raised, there is a little more but I feel
that the more is not needed for understanding Karen and what she was
going through in her life, but more a case of 'confession is good for
the soul' [zzzz...zzzz...buck
snort...zzzz...] [which, yeah, the pedophile stuff as well
as a few other
things are aimed at someone in particular on the internet. That
someone has been trying to get people to think he was actually close to
Karen but he was actually the one that got nailed for the article that
appeared in a tabloid back in October / November 1978 and afterwards he
and the tabloid had some legal problems. This guy has a bit to
hide that I know about and like I am saying, confession is good for the
soul, as how is this guy going to get a chance to confess if I rat on
him too before he has a chance to rat himself out? And also,
remember, don't get mad, get even. That is why I am not
mentioning
Dan Vosburgh's name
here, nor down in the Shrinks Part 2 section either where Karen and I
talk about said article nor am I mentioning the extra details] in at
least one
instance and a couple instances of 'people
would take this the wrong way no matter how I wrote it' and several
instances of 'it really
doesn't make a difference about knowing Karen and is more trivial and
not necessary to being known'. [And then you realize that this
grown up serious stuff isn't that much fun. Tag, you're it]
Karen's life was shorter than she
expected so quite a few of the eye raisers included were because Karen
never had the chance to explain some things privately to people or
publicly in the case of her therapy sessions and such. A few of
the eye raisers were also included as those involved would know that
only I personally knew about that stuff as I have been missing for
quite a while with others and I was not allowed to be public [plus the
reasons behind why I wasn't allowed to be public {I was banned from
being mentioned or appearing in public books, public movies, public
films, tabloids, national and international newspapers, API photos and
articles, interviews, etc. by an article of suppression first issued on
me in 1973 and enforced thereafter} which those reasons are eye raisers
unto themselves]. I did try to include as much as possible but I
did actually hold a few things back). [but even so, you still feel this
urge to do as the pink stuff tells you to do as the pink stuff is calm
and relaxing] This is a lot (but not all)
of what
I know
and I am trying to explain all of this as best as possible and as
accurately as possible to help try and eliminate the confusion that
exists as far as Karen, herself, not the Karen that needs to have her
story rewrote to match the story of Cherry (Boone) O'Neill so that a
bunch of overpaid quacks (and fiction / bullsh*t writers) can justify
themselves and their theories that
don't pan out most of the time in the real world (doctors try to help
others whereas quacks are just looking to make a lot of money and
bullsh*t is bullsh*t).
Karen was the type to play baseball where Cherry was the type to worry
about breaking her nails if she played baseball. Cherry's dad,
Pat Boone, and sister, Debby, were gifted singers, not Cherry.
Karen, herself, was a gifted singer. So outside being women,
there really wasn't any similarities between Karen and Cherry.
[The pink stuff is very
soothing and restful and very peaceful] And even as far as
the woman issue, Karen was a tomboy and Cherry was
not. Karen and Richard always worked well together and harmonized
and complimented each other as Richard had an ear for the music and
instrumentation and "that sound" whereas Karen was a drummer and had a
steady rhythm and Karen could sing too (Richard really didn't have a
vibrato in his voice anywhere near what Karen or his mom had).
But Richard could arrange the music better than Karen ever thought of
and Karen could sing better than Richard ever dreamed of, so where was
this competition there between Richard and Karen? [This black stuff is very serious
and not much fun to read. It needs a good knock knock joke or
something] Trying to
compete together against others in the business possibly (like that
Lawrence Welk guy), but not compete between themselves (and yeah, I got
the real low down from Karen as far as Karen and her mom and their
'secrets' about all that praising Richard stuff, that comes later if
you read further). Karen and Richard always worked together and
always complimented each other. Richard was great with explaining
details and music styles and such while Karen was good with the more
personal type questions, so if an interviewer started talking about
stuff that needed musical knowledge to explain better, Karen would turn
the question over to Richard, same as if the interviewer asked about
opinions or such, Richard would turn it over to Karen. [Knock knock] Cherry
and her siblings competed against each other (and Cherry lost too
against Debby). Karen and Cherry did both have anorexia but their
personalities were nearly the complete opposite of one another so
trying to say Karen and Cherry were identical is just plain dimwitted
(more bullsh*t again) and falls apart in seconds upon closer
examination like I did here. Holy carp, I can only imagine what
could happen if these same ones started doing this carp to Olivia
Newton-John after finding out Olivia's daughter, Chloe Lattanzi, has
had a battle with anorexia too. [Who's there?] So, yes,
Karen's, Cherry's and
Chloe's situations are different and there isn't a catch all similarity
other than the anorexia label between them. Even worst would be
those trying to say that Agnes Carpenter, Shirley Boone and Olivia
Newton-John are all alike. Yes, to a narcissist (self-absorbed
know it all), honesty is a bad thing, so what is wrong with being
honest? As far as the mom situation, they
aren't honest about that either. [Banana] As Karen,
herself, told me that
the therapists and such used to insult her mom and Karen would get so
upset at the therapists that Karen would throw a fit and burst into
tears with those people. The tears from Karen were anger, not
sorrow like the therapists try to get people to believe. Karen's
mom had always been there for Karen when Karen needed her and Karen and
her mom always had secrets between themselves. [Banana who?] When
therapists
would insult her mom and tell her mom that
if she didn't hug her daughter on command from the therapists that mom
didn't care about her daughter, Karen would get upset as would Richard
too and not about the hugging, but at the therapists for insulting
their mom and trying to say that mom didn't care about Karen. [Knock knock] You
don't go telling someone "You don't care about your daughter unless you
hug her" without being insulting. That is an insult to say that
unless someone hugs someone they don't care about that someone
else. And with an insult, yes, mom (Agnes) would get rightfully
very defiant with them. If hugging means someone cares then I
guess all pedophiles are the most caring people on the planet,
right? Yes, bullsh*t on the therapist's part so they have to
twist stuff around rather than admit to a mistake. Yes, most
therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists are narcissists from my own
experiences and the experiences of others which is why most people
DON'T get help (like Karen who had to figure everything out on her own
with a little help from others and myself if you read further as
instead of just
saying "eat" I had asked Karen, "why don't you eat?"). [Who's there?] Trying
to
say
that Karen and Cherry (Boone) O'Neill were alike is narcissistic.
And don't think that narcissistic authors that buy into this sham from
narcissistic therapists are guiltless either (Rick Henry, Randy L
Schmidt, Ray Coleman admitted to people he made mistakes but
unfortunately Ray passed away and I only have the words of others that
talked with Ray and knew Ray had told them that he had made mistakes in
his book. A narcissist can never admit that they made a mistake,
but unfortunately Ray isn't still around, but fortunately those that
had talked with Ray are still around). [Banana] And a
narcissist's worst
enemy is a truth teller (like Karen, Richard, Agnes and myself).
Honesty is a narcissist's worst enemy. Truthfully. Yeah,
these quacks don't tell you that part or the fact that Karen used
to burst into tears and start yelling at the therapists and drop the f
bomb on those therapists for pulling those kinds of stunts.
Badgering as it is called which is a trick used by all narcissists as
narcissists always try to put their words and ideas into other people's
mouths and heads instead of letting others speak on their own behalves
and possibly expose the narcissist for what they are (self-absorbed
know-it-alls). Karen never felt unloved by her mom, that was
Cherry (Boone) O'Neill, not Karen. [Banana who?] From
Karen, herself, and from
my seeing Karen's mom in interviews and such, Karen's mom was an honest
person which is more than I can say about the therapists and
such. I met Richard once with Karen and once without Karen and I
can say that Richard is an honest person too from my own experiences
there in addition to what Karen had told me about her brother which
just confirmed his honesty. Narcissists can't be honest, plain
and simple because narcissists are self-absorbed know-it-alls. [Knock knock] I
still can't fathom why on Earth
someone would want to degrade and badmouth Karen to try and bring Karen
down to Cherry (Boone) O'Neill's level. Why aren't you trying to
upgrade Cherry to match Karen's situation instead? And even worst
are these 'cults' out there that try
and preach to people that people don't care about Karen unless they say
bad things about her brother and her mother. Karen never said
anything bad about anyone if she could help it and Karen tried to
preach forgiveness of others, so how is saying bad things about others
"in Karen's name" or whatever. If you read further you will find
that Karen did not believe in hating ANYONE so how is saying bad things
about people that Karen cared about being like Karen or in her name so
to speak. [Who's there?]
But then too, these are the same ones that believe that
people that don't touch each other can have sex together so to be
expected I guess. So as far as disrespect here, I have not been
the one trying to degrade Karen's family and twist stories around to
try and get Karen to match Cherry's story when I know better. It
is disrespectful to talk bad of anyone, but then too some people do
earn that disrespect through no fault but their own. So all
disrespect intended here, but until those that think that two people
can have sex together without touching each other think differently and
realize that two people that can't touch each other can't have sex
together, then you reap what you sow, all disrespect intended.
[Orange] And the
same to those that don't think and try to twist and degrade
Karen to try and match Cherry's story rather than trying to upgrade
Cherry to match Karen's actual story for a change. Better yet is
there something wrong with being honest and saying that Karen was Karen
and Cherry was Cherry and the two had nearly opposite personalities and
lives? Yeah, I know that honest people aren't liked, but sheesh,
Karen's dad, Harold, was apparently just like Pat Boone and a great
singer and no one knew it except those that knew that people that
didn't touch each other could have sex together. So what is an
honest person to do? Talk to themselves so they can have an
intelligent conversation for a change? [Orange who?] And yes,
this was written
on my
behalf for Karen and to remember her and our times together as they
happened (hence no advertisements or book sales or keeping this totally
private or such as I only wrote
this for a reference for myself and for others if they wish).
Karen passed away suddenly and wasn't able to speak on her own behalf
after she passed away nor was I able to speak publicly either (for a
different reason than Karen obviously), so I decided to come forward
and provide that
extra information now and at times I agree, a bit too much information
in
some spots, but needed I feel to get a full and more complete picture
of Karen and what she was actually like - the stuff with Max Baer Jr.,
Thomas Burris, Phil Ramone, Karen [Ichiuji/Iuchanji?] Ramone, Steven
Levenkron, Richard Carpenter, her mom, therapists and so on. Not
as a
good / bad type situation but more as a reference as to how Karen
thought about people and that everyone can make mistakes and
forgiveness and that kind of stuff based on what actually happened as
best as possible. Also, inside stories (private secrets) too when
available for added insights. [Orange you glad I didn't say banana]
All people are different and life
is full of
different experiences with different people whether celebrity or
not. Things happen and you can't undo what happened, but maybe if
you learn what a mistake may be before it happens, you may not actually
make that mistake or may be able to correct that mistake if it does
happen. Was it really a mistake or is someone trying to get away
with something? Exactly, it happened but unless it personally
involved you, what business is it of yours and why don't you butt out
of it? That kind of personal stuff that I admit does get a bit
too
personal for most people to deal with and some subject matter that
doesn't get talked about privately let alone publicly and as such is a
bit awkward to deal with as well, and how Karen and I tried to deal
with this stuff (I wasn't too fond of Phil, Itchie, Max, Tom, Levenkron
but that was
Karen's choice to make and not mine [I could choose to not be fond of
them but it was Karen's choice of who she associated with, including
me. The same as it was my choice of who I associated with,
including Karen]). [Yes,
the pink stuff is the real stuff here which is why you feel like
barking like a dog. Come on, you know you want to. Bark!]
Also, several of these events were discussed
at different times and in different ways between Karen and I (like the
Max stuff, Past Lives
stuff, Solo album stuff, Itchie stuff, Richard and mom and family
stuff, therapy stuff, and so on) and so some stuff that may seem
trivial at first may need to be remembered later after other things
happen or don't happen. Karen and I both had some real
"hum-dingers"
to deal with I guess you could call them. And also, I need to
warn you that there is some very graphic stuff included too as Karen
had some very disturbing events happen that she didn't discuss with
anyone but me that I am aware of. I included them as well here
for those that did actually personally know Karen but may have wondered
what may have actually happened. [Yes, Karen and I were nearly
identical and we were both known for being 'scatter brained']
Yes, some very personal stuff
here (being an 8th grade english teacher under an assumed name, the Max
Baer Jr. attack, Jesus was not a virgin and that past lives stuff that
came up, details about the Tom Burris breakup, therapy stuff, details
about Phil and the solo album, details about Itchie Ramone, details
about Steven Levenkron and many others too) that Karen never really had
a chance to talk with others about or hid from others for obvious
reasons hopefully (like everyone knows Jesus was a virgin, but oops,
um, er, uh, well, maybe not and why Jesus instead of his actual name of
Yeshua). What is done can not be undone, but is
atonement possible or if someone makes a mistake will that mistake
always follow them even if they try to make or do make an
atonement? Don't we all make mistakes at some point in our lives
during a process known as learning? [Scatter brained as we were both
known for switching talks in mid sentence and completely changing the
subject at the bat of an eye] Karen did truly believe in
forgiveness of others. It wasn't just talk. And how can
someone earn forgiveness from someone that has passed away? And
does someone that has passed away automatically gain forgiveness if
they are passed away and can no longer atone for anything that happened
during that lifetime? What about reincarnation? A lifetime
is finite, but how long is
forever or an eternity anyway? Anyone know? But yes, I
agree, being surrounded by a bunch of narcissists throughout eternity
would be Hell (especially for narcissists themselves). I included
the 'sensitive stuff' as Karen is no longer around and more for a "rest
in peace" type tribute on my part on Karen's behalf so that others know
and so that people can let her rest in peace and to try and give others
peace of mind if possible (not really to rat on others, but then too
a rat is a rat, myself included). [those that are scatter brained, so
to speak, understand, but those that aren't get lost trying to follow
someone that is scatter brained] Karen would be very upset
at
those who have been trying to twist Karen's life story around to match
that of Cherry (Boone) O'Neill's story. Karen was not like Cherry
in more ways than one but how is anyone to know if no one speaks out on
Karen's behalf about this mess? I am trying to present Karen's
actual story here and not some 'movie of the week' that needs to match
this anorexic profile of Cherry (Boone) O'Neill to become popular
rather than honest. As Karen and I would both say,
"We can all make mistakes". Oops, I forgot that narcissists never
make mistakes so they can't be forgiven I guess (Note a narcissist may
admit to making a mistake in their deep, dark past but that was in
their
deep, dark past before they became the self-absorbed know-it-all
narcissist that they are now). But who are we to judge others
lest others judge we or something like that? [Like right now you are scratching
your head wondering what is really going on here] Yes,
this is a "sh*t
ton" of information to try and keep track of which was why I wrote this
out and I am trying to be as accurate and nearly as complete as
possible here for reference. So, (like with that
pedophile nonsense that has been getting spread around) if something
doesn't sound right, feel free to ask about it as maybe I might need to
explain something better or provide more details possibly or maybe I
even forgot about something over these many years (40+). And
also, there was an incident about 9 months ago with someone (T****
*******) who asked the question of "What was Karen's favorite color?"
which I answered "Red and black" as that was what I knew at the
time. [Am I really being
subliminally hypnotized or is it just my imagination?]
Then was a post elsewhere from someone of the Carpenters
1994 newsletter where it said, "red and black and yellow" in the
newsletter and also people had been commenting on how Karen's funeral
had all yellow roses in it. So some extra thinking and my
remembering of September 1978 and about how my favorite color had
changed from silver and black to clear and how Karen's favorite color
changed from red and black to red and black and yellow as Karen and I
both enjoyed being 'different' from everyone else. On top of
that, the yellow roses at the funeral. With that I remembered
that Richard had asked me on February 4, 1983 if I knew of a place that
had red roses as it was close to Valentine's Day and everyone was out
of red roses. So yellow roses were what was available for Karen's
funeral instead of the traditional red roses. Had Karen passed
away not so close to Valentine's Day, Karen's funeral would have been
red roses as red roses were actually Karen's favorite but red roses
weren't available for Karen's funeral.
[I'm confused. Where am
I? Seriously, where am I?] In the meantime, someone (T****
*******) had
other people throwing fits and such with her even talking to me and it
just became a big mess instead of trying to work together to find
answers. And as another example here is
the story Karen told me over the phone on February 3, 1983 about her
and Cherry (Boone) O'Neill and the Levenkron Clinic and the incident
that got Karen sent to Lennox Hill Hospital in September 1982.
Karen did not want this made public at the time as Karen didn't want
people blaming Cherry for anything. But what happened was that
Cherry dared Karen to drink a [can't remember for sure here, so] full
bottle or six pack or case? of ipecac syrup and Karen had done three
(sips, bottles?) and Karen was in bad shape so the ambulance was
called. Karen said she passed out in the ambulance on the
way. But the reason why Karen wanted this kept secret was so that
people didn't try to blame Cherry as after that incident was when Karen
realized that the Levenkron Clinic was making Karen worst and not
better and that Karen needed to get out of there. [I know. I'm right behind you,
BOO!] Karen told me
that Cherry said Karen won the bet and Cherry paid up (Karen had the
top tier 'Diamond' Blue Cross Blue Shield so her medical bills were
paid).
But the dare was actually helpful to Karen which was why Karen wanted
to keep it private so that Cherry wouldn't get falsely blamed as it was
that dare that got Karen to realize that the Levenkron Clinic was
not working. Karen weighed 78 pounds in January 1982 and Karen
weighed 77 pounds in September 1982 and it just was not working.
Had it not been for the dare from Cherry and the mess afterwards, Karen
would not have thought about leaving the clinic for the hospital and
then going back home. Other people brought up
questions and information over the internet and I remembered
information I had forgot
about so I wrote that information out to try and help explain things
better for people (myself included since I had forgot as well). [Yes, the stuff in pink is fictional
and not real. At least I don't think it is real? Do I?]
And
yeah, I ratted on myself in
more ways than one. Anyway, Karen used to introduce me at times
to people as "this is the other guy who saved my life" as another
reference to Richard and the motorcycle accident of 1973. Anyway,
the actual story of that is below under the "Second Rod Call" heading
XLIV. Karen used to tell people that partial story of "I dropped
my pen in the road by the highway and I went to grab it when Ace pulled
me away from the road before a car (truck?) almost hit me and he saved
my life." That was also the story we told Richard (which Richard
knew better and he was right) and Karen's step cousin Wendy would tell
that story too. But again too, why would Karen be interested in a
guy that had a story of saving her life, other shared experiences to
talk about with others, resembled all these guys that came up in her
past life regressive therapy, looked like 1956 Elvis with my eyeglasses
off, we would say the exact same thing at the exact same times
sometimes (jinx) [Why am I
questioning myself?], had wonderful stories and ideas to share,
we could
see each other's thoughts, we would start feeling lighter than air when
around each other, we didn't argue with each other and our
personalities were nearly identical. But the problems were that I
wasn't a millionaire (but Karen ran my credit score in 1981 and at age
16, my score was higher than Tom and his son's credit score combined
and to note, neither Karen nor Richard had a credit score at age 16, if
I remember right here, my score was 726 and Tom's son was 500 and Tom's
was 136 in June 1981) and that I was almost 15 years younger than Karen
and with my being 'jailbait' for a while, Karen and I had to wait until
I was older. [What is
really going on here?] Everyone
is different and has different experiences and thinks a little
differently based on their personal experiences. And this is
also Karen and my personal story and the experiences of our times
together and
what happened and what we talked about (the good, the indifferent and
the
bad). A reference "dear journal (as diaries are for girls), I
remember when..." And a notice too as some have complained about
stuff dealing with Karen as being "sugar coated". [What am I missing here?]
This is not
sugar coated by any stretch of the imagination as hopefully this
explains why some things were hidden and why stuff has been "sugar
coated", so to speak. From my own personal experiences with
writing, 'sugar
coating' and 'watering down' can lead to stuff being too vague and
possibly open to interpretation. It really is not a good thing to
talk bad
of others, but with some people, it just can't be avoided unless you
don't talk about them at all. [Aren't unique people the ones that
do the same things as everyone else only different?] And
with 'bad stuff' some people
may have learned a
lesson too and may have had a change of heart or ideas. Maybe
not. Some stuff "I don't know for sure either but it is very
fishy as stuff doesn't sound right from others" but also a case of
hopefully "I understand now. You're right. I really don't
need to know those details and I can see why they didn't mention that
stuff before" as either others didn't have the full stories to work
with, or didn't wish to possibly talk bad of others, or the sanitized
(sugar coated) version is just as well, or "I really wish you hadn't
told me that" in several cases as well (Max, Itchie, Levenkron, Tom and
others including myself too). [Humor?] And a special
thank you to people
that thought it was strange that Karen was supposedly in love with a
guy named John Adrian who was married to someone else. You were
right that it doesn't sound right as that stuff in Karen's diaries was
during and after September 1978 and was about me, a guy who's first
name is
Adrian, not about John Adrian. [Is this stuff in pink being added
by Humorous, the comedy star?] Also, Phil Ramone was a
producer
and not a manager and I was the 'new manager' that Karen had been
talking about just before she passed away (and I did see Richard on the
day Karen passed away but I have not seen Richard or the others
since). I have not been able to talk mostly because of the
suppression order that was issued on me in 1973 and also because of
stuff like the 'pedophile' nonsense mentioned above from tabloid type
fiction writers. Also, many people knew about me, but how do you
talk about someone publicly that can't be mentioned publicly? How
do you talk about someone you don't really know what their name is (Ace
or Adrian Clair Downing III) and you haven't seen them since way back
when also? And yes too, hopefully after reading this (if you do),
you'll realize that 'sugar coating' ain't such a bad thing after all
compared to the alternative. Really. [Is the stuff in black being written
by Serious, the dog star?] Some [blank]ing words
and such have
been [censored] in a way, but sh*t is still the way sh*t is sometimes
and sometimes sh*t just happens and you don't know why, you just know
it happened because there sits the pile of sh*t. Speaking of
'getting real'... As far as the self-absorbed narcissistic
know-it-alls, yes, as you read this you will realize that you are in
reality not that knowing about Karen and others. And yes, after
dealing with several of these narcissistic know-it-alls was why I
included a bit of the sensitive stuff to demonstrate how little the
know-it-alls actually knew about Karen's and my (yes, me too) actual
personal life. Right back at ya know-it-alls (narcissists).
And like with Karen, my personal problems are in here as well for all
to see (why would the Roman Catholic Church wish to put a suppression
[gag] order on a guy who's mom was a virgin when he was born and all
that mess). And with that being said, yes, religious
self-absorbed know-it-all narcissists are a thousand and more times
worst to deal with than Karen Carpenter community member narcissists
from my own
experiences. [Did I
really bark like a dog earlier?] As the saying goes,
"Never assume as it will make an
ass out of you and me." And narcissists live by the rule of
"whatever I assume must be true (otherwise known as 'dogma')." I
have never known Richard or mom to be know-it-alls as far as
Karen. Like Richard has said at times, "I don't know, if I did
I'd say" which is true. Mom (Agnes) couldn't figure out why Karen
would drop so much weight either. Honestly, Richard and mom kept
trying to figure out what was going on too as far as the anorexia and
arrhythmia and such but they couldn't figure it out so they recommended
therapy and such to Karen (which therapy helped Richard and Cherry
[Boone] O'Neill but unknowingly just made a bigger mess for
Karen). [Oops.]
And it was just sudden and unexpected when Karen passed
away and not much made sense as Karen hadn't been having chest pains or
dizzy spells or such. It was just a big mess trying to figure out
anything that made sense as far as why Karen passed away so suddenly
and unexpectedly. If there had been pills and ipecac and such
found that would have explained it, but there wasn't any found and
there wasn't a cover up as they wanted to be able to say that they
found that kind of stuff but they honestly couldn't say that which made
it that much more difficult to accept that Karen passed away suddenly
and unexpectedly. [Where
was I again? Oh yeah, in the beginning... No wait, wrong
book even though this stuff in black is a bit preachy really.]
The why has been missing from Karen passing
away (and is still kind of missing for sure but Karen's glucol level
was over 1100 which is fatal, but still not sure what caused it to go
that high other than it being something internal in Karen's body [like
her pancreas?] that just suddenly went haywire). Karen also had
other problems too and Karen was one to try and solve her own problems
and keep to herself. Karen enjoyed challenges. And really
too, I don't know it all either
and with me like with Richard, "If I know, I'll say" and also if I
don't know I'll say "I don't know" or "I think" or "I'm not sure" or
"maybe" or "maybe not" or "possibly" or "probably" or "this is what I
know..." or "I'm not positive on that, but I do know..." <-- stuff
like that. [But who am I
to judge such things? The reader? Since when does the
reader matter anyway? Isn't the writer the only important one
since this is being written by the almighty omnipotent writer or at
least a relative or acquaintance of his?] So I am just
saying (saying later on anyway except for those of you
that still feel that people that can't touch each other can have sex
together and those self-absorbed know-it-all narcissists which I have
hopefully upset by now as only a self-absorbed know-it-all narcissist
would believe themselves or want their wolves, sheep, flying monkeys,
et cetera to believe as well that two people that don't touch each
other could have sex together)... Yes, Karen and I were brutally
honest with each
other which was why I tried to be as exact as possible with what we
both
said in our conversations together (many talks in private between
ourselves) and with others too. [I am reading this aren't I or am I
just subliminally thinking it?] Because of
age, Karen and I had to wait, and with that wait, we talked.
I also tried to reveal most of the 'cover ups' that were done and 'why
(in most cases)' to try and protect people like Tom Burris, Phil
Ramone, Itchie, Levenkron, Max, Wendy, Maria (hair dresser /
assistant), therapists, Richard, mom (Agnes), myself and others too
including Karen, herself, from possibly receiving bad publicity or
possibly hurting people's feelings by being honest. [Yes, something is wrong here as
since when are people supposed to think when reading?] And
honestly,
there wasn't any bad feelings from Karen towards Bette Midler either as
Karen understood that Bette didn't want to be seen as a 'goody two
shoes' and have that kind of mess from the press like Karen and Richard
had of "can do no wrong" and "not human" and "nobody's that squeaky
clean so they must be hiding something really terrible". But
honestly, Karen and Richard were 'the kids next door' and not rowdy
party animals and such nor out to get what they could get at the
expense of others to try and make a name for themselves. [Isn't the reader supposed to just
think of what the writer wants them to think instead of the reader
being allowed to think on their own? This is weird like that
Karen and Ace couple that I heard about. They were both kind of
weird and different too. Very strange.] As far as
Karen and I, I think John Heib (passed away in a car accident on icy
roads in late 1982 I believe) said it best back in mid May 1979 when he
said, "You two make Romeo and Juliet look like a children's
book." And probably
one of the best things I have seen written on the internet was on
YouTube on a Karen Carpenter video where someone wrote "How would you
feel if your whole life was judged based on making just one
mistake?" But on the other side is "How would you feel if your
whole life was based on doing just one good deed?" Nobody born of
the flesh is perfect (experts don't make mistakes. All people
make mistakes in a process known as learning. Therefore experts
are just figments of their own imaginations). And
actually, most entertainers were more like Karen and Richard off
camera, but most cameras were focused on those that broke the rules and
such as that stuff makes a better headline (for tabloids anyway).
[sorry, they don't have a pink
with purple polka dot font available that I am aware of. Purplish
pink was as close as I could get. Are you coming out of your
trance yet? OK, I'll snap my fingers or whatever. {snap
pphhlllttt} Oops, did I just fart? I hope so even though it
felt a little wetter than normal. Oh right, that writing stuff
again...] And as far as modern writers, they think it's
great when they can trash others and try to make a name for
themselves, but it doesn't seem like such a great idea when others turn
it back around and trash them back for being fiction writers and making
stuff up to make a 'story' instead of just reporting what
happened. Having that rule of "not talking negative" is actually
a great rule, however, sometimes you need to bring up that negative to
explain why that is such a great rule (it is best to give the benefit
of the doubt rather than assume and make an a** out of you and me or
jump to the wrong conclusion[s]. And just because someone behaved
badly around someone doesn't necessarily make them a bad person.
We all make mistakes in a process known as learning. We all have
problems that can be learned from, but after a person passes away, the
stories and the learning end, well, almost unless they get written down
so that they can be passed down and shared with others throughout a
lifetime and beyond possibly. The written word[s]). And if
'nice people finish last' then Karen and Richard have been
shining examples of how a few nice people have broke that rule of
'finishing last' despite what fiction writers would rather have you
believe.
And a short piece here (kind of, anyway)... Yes, almost all of
Karen's therapy was
a mess or disaster. Karen did have two that she had good
experiences with. The first one is a lady who was actually still
studying to be a psychiatrist / psychologist at the time and went by
her first name as her last name was difficult for people to
pronounce. The other was a guy that was actually my fourth grade
teacher. Her past life therapist was a kind of indifferent
one. The past life stuff was interesting in some aspects, but not
really anything good or bad, just different. Both of these people
(as one wasn't licensed yet, shh) listened to Karen and, unlike others,
did
not put words or thoughts in Karen's head that weren't actually there
to begin with. For the most part, however, the therapy and such
for Karen (and still for many others) was, is and will continue to be a
disaster and a mess. You can't honestly help someone without
being honest. Those that try and put words and thoughts in
people's heads that are not actually the words and thoughts of those
people are what are known as 'brainwashers'. In the time I knew
Karen, I knew Karen to think of her family as her crutch (support) and
Karen knew her family cared about her and tried to support her.
But Karen also loved being independent and in the time I knew Karen, I
only ever knew Karen's family to be supportive of Karen and also allow
Karen her space if she wanted it. I have never known actual
'controlling' type people to ever allow someone to have their own
thoughts and ideas and space. I have only known supportive type
people to
allow others to have their own thoughts and ideas and space. We
are all
entitled to our opinions. But are those opinions based on reality
or assumptions and assertions and mind reading and such? Yes, the
difference between objective (matter of fact) and subjective
(opinionated, assumptive and such). With this page I am trying to
be as objective as possible, but without Karen around to actually have
direct input, I'm doing what I can to stay as objective as possible
with
this. Non fiction is objective. Fiction is subjective and
as I say to those that try to push the subjective stuff over objective,
"File it in your fiction library between 'butt' and 'cheeks' for when
the need may arise." Yes, a toilet paper shortage can be overcome
through having a stocked fiction library that some try to pass off as
being non fiction. And later (if you actually read that far), you
will come to all that Max stuff. Originally Karen had been
telling the 'story' of "my family wants me to come home" instead of the
truth of "Max is just too controlling for me to deal with." So I
can't ever say that Karen never said that her family was
controlling. However, I can say that Karen didn't truly think her
family was controlling her, but it made a convenient excuse for Karen
so that Karen didn't have to talk to others about her control problems
that she was having with Max (and others). Myself, personally, I
never saw a time when Karen's family actually controlled Karen as while
Karen was saying her family was being controlling in 1979, her family
was not even around her. And that was when Karen and I realized,
together, that probably the biggest sign of someone controlling someone
or someone being controlled is a lack of honesty and the lack of being
allowed to have a different opinion or any freedom. That was why
Karen always saw her family as her crutch, so to speak. Crutches
are what help to support you instead of feeding you to the sharks or
the lions or putting you in front of a firing squad or such.
After getting to know Karen, I found out Karen always felt comfortable
around her family, but never felt comfortable around those she felt
were trying to control her. And not mentioned below, but
mentioned now here, when I felt Karen was trying to hide something from
me (after the Max incident in mid May 1979) I would say to Karen "OK,
what did your family do now?" when I felt Karen was trying to hide
something from me. As Karen and I would say to each other
sometimes, "I agree to disagree". But as far as the therapy and
such, it just starts being one big complicated mess as you may read
about later.
And another short piece on December 16, 2021 that is not fully included
below... On the morning of Karen's passing, Richard had been
staying at the Lubec house while Karen had stayed at her mom and dad's
house on Newville Avenue. Richard was called on Lubec Street and
arrived on Newville Avenue just as Karen was taken away in the
ambulance. On the day Karen passed away, Richard flew out to New
York on a flight and on this flight was apparently a reporter from the
LA Times. If I remember what Richard said to me correctly on the
day Karen passed away, that Richard had told the reporter that he was
flying out to see "Karen's new manager" and at the time Richard didn't
know who this 'new manager' actually was, just the story Karen had been
telling people (Olivia included apparently) about her flying out to New
York to look into a new manager after she signed her divorce papers on
February 4, 1983. This was the event where the 'new manager'
stuff and speculation started back in 1983. Karen's new manager
was a guy named Adrian (which Richard didn't know when he talked with
the LA Times reporter) and with that, what a mess others have created
with all that speculation stuff. This new manager's first name
was not John or Phil, but Adrian. During the press conference
where Phil revealed that he had got a call from Karen on February 2,
1983, Phil also vaguely answered the 'new manager' question by stating
that he had not seen Richard on the day Karen passed away and that Phil
was a producer and a manager is a step down from a producer (but this
new manager in New York must be Phil Ramone, just bury the rest of that
1983 interview except for that Karen's phone call part). But even
more of a mess (as you
will read) of how can someone talk publicly about someone that is not
allowed to be mentioned publicly? And even more messier, 15 years
younger, and (yes, tabloids would have a field day with this kind of
stuff, so)... But as you'll read later, Karen had pulled the
money out of her account so that Thomas Burris couldn't make a "quick
withdrawal" before signing the divorce papers. Why was the
housekeeper, Florine, kicked out? Would you want
people walking around your mom and dad's house with a bunch of cash
laying around
somewhere? So Richard had told his mom to tell people that he was
sleeping while Richard had flown out to New York to talk with this 'new
manager' on the day Karen passed away after finding plane tickets (New
York and Las Vegas) and a set of rings in Karen's secret Bible
stash. On the day before she
passed away Karen had told me about taking the money out and she had
briefly mentioned putting it in a shoe box in her closet. After
Richard visited the 'new manager' and talked with me, Adrian, Richard
called up
his mom and the money was found in a shoe box in the closet.
Richard still asked his mom to stick with the "Richard is sleeping so
no one allowed inside the house" story until Richard got back (I
overheard Richard say that over the phone to his mom). But
someone (A&M Corner, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram?) had asked about
"how could Richard be in New York when John Bettis said that Richard
had been sleeping in his room?" but also how could a reporter from the
LA Times had known that Richard was on a flight from LA to New York to
see Karen's new manager on the day Karen passed away while Richard was
sleeping at his mom's house. Very good questions here.
Hopefully this paragraph (and a little common sense) answered them.
[You're almost there now. This top part before what follows was
added for those that have said that they read this but it is obvious
that they haven't read this by what they said. Yes, these are
mostly shared experiences that happened between Karen and me.
What follows is what I actually wrote that the ones that said they read
this don't want people reading so they made up stuff to tell others to
keep others from reading this. As noted above, I'm not sure how
two people that have a rule of not physically touching each other can
have sex together, but again, not my story there and others made that
up to try and keep others from reading this and to try and make me look
bad to others so that others wouldn't talk with me or read this.
Quite a few of them actually told people if the other people talked
with me that they would no longer be friends with them. Yes, very
childish individuals (not child-like but childish. A big
difference between child-like and childish is another word called
innocense. Another difference is that someone being child-like
has an open mind whereas someone being childish is very
close-minded. Child-like and childish may look alike but are
actually antonyms {opposites} of each other in context and
usage). These are actual personal stories of real life events
that happened betweeen Karen and me with details about what happened
and in many cases why things happened. As most of those that have
read this realize that this page helps fill in a lot of blanks that are
missing. Not sure how filling in stuff that is missing can be
taken from others that didn't have that stuff that was missing to begin
with, but then again, not my story there. OK, you got non fiction
which is what happened and then fiction that is made up and didn't
actually happen like that but could be believable and then you have
bullsh*t. And yes, two people not touching each other having sex
together is bullsh*t. Someone being accused of taking stuff that
others never had is bullsh*t as well. The usual question I get
asked by those I know who have started reading is "Is this fan
fiction?" and the answer to that question from me is "No, but thanks
for asking." But also, as those that have seen others say they
read this, actually reading this will explain why people know the
difference between someone who has actually read this compared to
someone that is trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes]. And
now (after getting the bullsh*t finally shovelled away for now,
sheesh)...
Interesting Conversations
and Events with Karen
Carpenter & others that I've had over the years
and
when, where, who, and what happened... (and to note, I could not put
these stories in 'The New Math' like this because how do you get
permission from dead people? And on that same token, how can
people like Albert Einstein and Edgar Cayce copyright their names so
that no one can use them without their permission when they are dead
and can't give their permission?) Just some thoughts here.
These are the full stories as best as possible. If I do not
capture my own thoughts as they actually are, then who can other than
me, myself, and I? These are the events that I remember and how
those thoughts and ideas came about, what those thoughts and ideas
were, and the reason(s) and event(s) behind those thoughts and
ideas. This is not to dignify nor indignify myself or others, but
to remember. And imagine trying to remember this stuff off the
top of your head and hope you get all the details in the right order
and such. Now imagine trying to tell all this many times to
different people and hope that they heard what you said the right way
and hoping that you got all the details. Better yet, why not just
write it out? So I did. This page is kind of a reference
and a lesson to
myself and others of why it may be important to write stuff down even
if you do have a photographic type memory. And as you can tell by
length, there is definitely a
lot to remember here. Read on... (yes,
this page is public, but I am keeping this
page kind of hidden because...). And an extra note, Karen is not
around to speak on her own behalf anymore. I am doing my best to
be as accurate as possible so that hopefully Karen's voice gets heard
again as there are many things that I am seeing and hearing around the
internet that do not match what I heard from Karen Carpenter, herself,
on the many occasions we were around each other. One of the
biggest problems I see are those trying to push the emotional baggage
blame onto mom (Agnes) and dad (Harold) and Richard. As you read
you'll notice that Karen and I would talk about all kinds of stuff and
her problems. Karen's problems weren't actually her family and
Karen didn't have any emotional baggage from her family to talk about
with me that I am aware of. Karen's mom hated dirt was about the
extent of Karen's emotional baggage there. Karen did have
emotional baggage from her arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) diagnosis,
her anorexia (laxatives and bulimia included), Max Baer Jr., Steven
Levenkron, Phil and Itchie Ramone, many therapists (messed up
treatments) and Tom Burris. Karen loved being the black sheep and
never wanted to be the favorite or the center of attention.
Karen's family and me and several others knew that. Others keep
trying to push this family inferiority complex that never existed with
Karen. Cripe, at the autograph tables Karen would get swamped and
Richard would be twiddling his thumbs many times. Karen and
Richard always worked together and always helped each other out.
Those that work together don't have superiority and inferiority
complexes. Equals. Where is the complexity of "you sing
better than I do"
and "you have that ear for that musical stuff and that knack for
business and legal stuff better than I do". I included as much as
I can as examples here and I tried not to gloss anything over or sweep
anything under the rug. There are also
quite a few stories that have been 'hidden' and 'secret' over the years
for various reasons and hopefully you can understand why they have been
secret and hidden (not talking bad about others, the twisting media
making mountains out of mole hills to try and sell more papers,
etc.). Karen's family and Karen, herself, were trying to get help
for her anorexia but it just wasn't and still isn't there I feel
because of all this glossing over and sweeping under the rug, not by
Karen or her family, but by therapists and others that have a lot to
hide. That is why I am using the word "honesty" as with all of my
experiences with narcissists, narcissists can not stand seeing or
hearing that word. Why would someone need to use the word honesty
since that should be implied? Hogwash. Dishonest people
like narcissists hate seeing or hearing the words honest, honesty or
honestly. So I use the words honest, honesty and honestly often
to hopefully upset those that the words honest, honesty and honestly
offend. I love the words honest, honesty and honestly so why
wouldn't I use those words? Because using those words is
offensive to those that can't stand those words is a good reason I feel
to use the words honest, honesty and honestly. All narcissists
hate "truth tellers" and honesty. I honestly like being hated by
narcissists that can't handle the truth and their 'flying monkeys' and
such. Why do dishonest people hate honesty so much anyway?
Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it narcissists. The truth
always and only hurts those trying to hide from the truth. And
for those that haven't been smart enough to realize it yet, false
accusations about me don't hurt me one bit and only reflect on those
spreading those false accusations which only helps identify those I can
trust versus those that can't be trusted (which is that paragraph
above if you wish to read that again for examples). Oo, another
word I use, let's see truth, honest, honesty, honetly, trust that works
for me. How about you? False accusations about Karen upset
me greatly however. As you will read here,
Karen never fit that profile of "starving for attention" that so many
try and promote as being gospel but is in reality garbage. Karen
did have anorexia but never fit that profile of an anorexic like nearly
80% don't fit that profile. So facts get altered to try and keep
that false profile theory going despite the obvious when you understand
Karen, herself and so many others that have or have had anorexia.
Karen never felt unloved by her family. If it wasn't for Karen's
family being so concerned, Karen would have never sought help that
wasn't helping anyway. And I have also noticed that it appears
that
those that have the most to hide appear to be the most vocal about
Karen and trying to blame nearly every one else but themselves, whilst
the ones that have the least to hide appear to be mostly quiet and not
blaming anyone. Guilty consciences or possibly fear (of being
questioned and exposed) perhaps for
those being the most vocal? (And to note here, Richard and mom
[Agnes] have been fairly quiet as they are the ones that knew the most
about Karen. And as they have talked a little, but compared to
what could be said, I feel that Richard and mom have been very quiet
after Karen had passed away. Honestly, only a couple short
interviews and an appearance or two in a documentary or two, but for
the most part quiet. Evelyn [Ev] Wallace as well). My turn
I guess as up until 2019, I have been one of the most quiet about Karen
(Mark and Mary Rudolph, Wendy Bihuniak and a few others still hold the
most quiet dinstinction). Yes, Karen
really was a sweetheart in real
life and was not one that thought of herself as a big celebrity or
such. Karen and I became very, very times a zillion close within
a very short time and to be honest, these are the reasons
why as best as I can. Unfortunately, Karen is not around to help me
with this. Actually, if Karen was still around I would probably
had been trying to help her with her (auto)biography and this page
wouldn't even
be an issue. After February 4, 1983 Karen and I were going to
plan on me working on her autobiography (my name couldn't be made
public but Karen could have released an autobiography under her name)
while she was touring and I would have been watching Mush and the
townhouse which Karen had been working on. And another plan of
Karen's as since I would be writing her autobiography while she was
away, mom (Agnes), dad (Harold) and I would have talked and got to know
each other better as part of the family. And honestly, with an
autobiography about Karen, none of the 'negative' stuff would have been
included. Why did I include the negative stuff here? For
those close to Karen, yes, Karen had been hiding some MAJOR stuff from
others that I had/have known about that others didn't know. And
from what I know, that negative stuff didn't seem to contribute to
Karen's anorexia or arrhythmia problems that I could tell. I feel
it still should probably be mentioned just in case as maybe it might
help someone else, but also so I don't forget again in some instances
(Max, Thomas, Itchie, Phil, Steven, etc.). In the flesh, we all
pass away sometime, but memories remain. But maybe some things
are just best left forgotten and not talked about. But maybe
not. Karen and I were that close times a zillion. And why
include stuff if there isn't something to be learned or
remembered? Since the reader (you and me too) is taking a long
time out to read this, shouldn't the reader be important too? Why
do
you ask? Well, why not? As this
page is 'topical' as well as 'chronological' some events are not quite
in chronological order. For a more chronologic listing of events,
feel free to view this page as it lists the major events in a
chronologic type order, karentime.html
. And yes,
this contains adult content (not recommended for those under the age of
16 or those who can not handle explicit talks containing adult themes
[provocative thought, intelligence, marriage, rape, dirty jokes],
foul language
and
sex, drugs & adult contemporary / easy listening).
Where : Corning Free Academy Middle School, Corning, NY
Who : Miss Bihuniak (Karen
Carpenter), Patricia (Patti) Carpenter,
Richard
Carpenter, my younger sister Robin Downing, my mom and dad, Paul
Williams, Max Baer Jr., Cubby O'Brien,
Rod Temperton (phone), John "Jack" Heib, Ed Mishrell & Lois, Marcel
Marceau, Buddy Ebsen,
Phil &
'Itchie' Ramone & Itchie's dog, Olivia Newton - John, Dionne
Warwick, Mrs. Woeppel, His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Sir Nicholas
Boehr (Born?), You (the reader) & others too
I. Introduction
What happened : Well, I
forgot about a lot of this stuff until around
May 28, 2019 (Questions 543, 544, and 545 on the html
page). What brought my memories back was that I drive a
school bus and the radio stations play a lot of recent music with a lot
of profanity and adult content and such. So I got to thinking
about trying to make up a music CD of stuff without the profanity and
such, but also with real singing too (not this off key junk of most
recent singers). The third song on the CD I came up with was
"Sing" by the Carpenters. You know, a nice kids' song that is
about singing. After doing this, all of a sudden I remembered
stuff about 8th grade and my homeroom and english teacher. And so
the story goes... (Note, last edit was September 18, 2021)...
II. It is written.
Sloppy writed. But written none the less
A note to english majors
and such... Yes, I am well aware of
paragraphing structures and all that as Karen was my 8th grade english
teacher, however, as this is a real life accounting of events and
thoughts and such, rules needed to be broken to keep this documentary
from becoming retarded because of outdated rules and such. Yes,
retarded. Yes, I could add in sub topics and such and then break
up the paragraphing, but when I did that (and yes I tried it, but...)
it became very disjuncted and more difficult for a reader (I need to
read this too you know) to follow and understand in all honesty.
Because of the variety of things covered, breaking this up into smaller
sub topics and paragraphings and such breaks the thought process and
the reader is left trying to figure out which might be relating to
what. Yes, very confusing. Try breaking this up by
'accepted english grammar and paragraphing practices' yourself; you'll
see. Each paragraph is a separate event or a separate
thought. Break up the paragraph and you break up the thought or
the event and things get confusing. I am not looking to baffle
people with nonsense. So I broke some rules, big deal. It
ain't the first time that I've felt that I had to ace (ace = go beyond
what is thought to be possible) something to get something done
properly. Seriously.
III. About Karen
About Karen, herself.
Actually Karen was a
very down to
earth person and enjoyed it when people did not think of her as a
celebrity or pop star or such. Karen liked being just a regular
person. When I first met Karen, she was my english teacher, Miss
Bihuniak, and I did not know she was Karen Carpenter. Some things
happened and she "spilled the beans" to me after about a month and a
half to two months. In all honesty, Karen's 'celebrity' status or
such
was no big deal to me. I never really thought of her as such
because
her and I had such great times together, I just enjoyed being around
her, whoever she was. And she had some great times around me as
well.
We always enjoyed meeting lots of people and just talking about
whatever without the others knowing that she was Karen Carpenter.
A
lot of people just knew her as Karen, the sweetheart that seemed to
care about everyone. But Karen worried about being mobbed and
such
because Karen liked talking to people as being a person and not some
big celebrity or such. And those that
thought of her as a celebrity tried to make a
big fuss about it, and Karen was not one to like being the center of
attention. Karen never felt 'attention starved' or such. Karen
also noticed that most people that
thought of her as a big celebrity usually didn't say too much when
around her but would be talking up a storm to other people that they
knew her or met her. Karen was always a very caring person and
always
tried to include as many people as possible. When Karen was
younger,
Karen had reddish colored eyes and hair and some of the other kids
would pick on
her and call her "Evil Karen" and such.
Karen also had a lot of freckles too and would get called "Freckle
Face" when she was younger as well. Karen
never forgot how it
felt
to feel excluded and picked on which is why she always tried to make
everyone feel at home and included whenever possible. But then
too, no one is perfect so picking on someone in a joking kind of way is
all right (like Karen calling Richard 'four eyes' and Richard calling
Karen 'fatso' back. Not meant to be hurtful. Nobody's
perfect). It is that mean spirited picking that Karen wasn't fond
of. 'Put downs' as they were called back then. Of course
being
on the road and touring did not leave much time for socializing and
such. Karen always tried to do the best she could in the time she
had. Karen loved seeing people smiling and being happy.
Karen seeing people being happy made Karen feel happy herself. We
can't all be happy all of the time, but we can try. And really,
which is more fun, joking around or being
serious? Seriously having fun? Is that possible? And,
oh, what times we had...
IV. In the beginning.
Getting to know you and me
I did not know who she was
at first, but Miss Bihuniak was my homeroom
as well as my last (8th) period english teacher in eighth grade.
I used
to come in early to school every day because I always tried to do my
homework in homeroom. Miss Bihuniak would be there and I would
come in and start doing my homework and she would sit there and drink
her morning tea ([I believe chamomile] tea with lemon and honey because
she said it helped
soothe her throat from all of the talking that she did during the
day. Karen also usually drank coffee from a tea cup and tea from
a coffee mug. As Karen would say, "I like doing something
different"). I was usually the first kid in school and I would
usually
go to my locker and grab my books that had homework
and do that in homeroom. Early on in the year, Miss Bihuniak
asked why I didn't do my homework at home. I just told her, "I
like the challenge of trying to do all this stuff in a hurry instead of
taking it home. I only have a half hour or so in homeroom.
I have all night at home." Or something like that. She said
something like, "That explains it. I like challenges too.
Does it bother you if I talk while you work?" And I was like,
"No, not at all. I can do both. Is there anything special
you are thinking about?" And she was like, "I grew up out west
and I am kind of new to the area. I have some relatives here, but
I still feel kind of lost at times. Is it alright if I ask you
questions and stuff?" I was like "Sure, anytime, anything.
Feel free anytime." This was like in the first week of
school. And at times we would talk about all kinds of stuff like
music, poetry, books, food, school, ideas, whatever. She asked me
what music I liked and I said the Beatles and she was like "Me too when
I was younger.". My favorite was Paul, and I am pretty sure she
said her favorite was Ringo. I told her that my mother liked
the Carpenters, my father liked the Beach Boys and played drums in a
country band, and my
younger sister liked the Osmonds, especially Donny. She said her
favorite color was burgundy (dark red) and black (and note, I
definitely remember Karen talking about this and Karen saying something
like, "Shh, don't tell anyone, but most people think I like bright red
like Mickey Mouse
but I actually like that deep red burgundy color." And I think I
said something like, "You mean like kidney bean red". And I think
she was like, "Yeah. Kind of. But most people have got me
something with bright red and I have grown kind of fond of that color
too so I guess it really doesn't matter"). I told her my
favorite
color used to
be silver and black because I liked the contrast, but I changed to
clear as my favorite color now. Karen, always wanting to be
different, decided to change her favorite color too and changed to red
and black and yellow. And I asked Karen, “did you catch
jaundice?” And Karen was like, “Yeah, are my eyes still
yellow?” And I was like, “I think they cleared up but I can’t
really tell for sure, there’s too many stars in the way. You’ll
probably have to ask someone else.” And Karen was like,
"Actually, yellow is the going bananas color and you've got me going
bonkers lately." Karen's favorite movie was
"Gone
with the Wind" and mine was "Blazing Saddles". Stuff like
that mostly. She was just a very nice and down to earth person
and at times she felt kind of out of place as it was a new area to
her. She also liked having someone that wasn't family to just
talk to as well. Families always seem to say the same things, the
same way, and it is nice to get a different perspective
sometimes. She also told me that at the
ripe old age of 28 that she ran
away from home and didn't tell her family where she was, but she knew
her family would track her down eventually. It is actually a
small and very close family and Karen told me, "I heard from my cousins
that my family has already put out an all points bulletin on me so it
is only a matter of time before they find me here. I'm having
personal problems so I am just looking to do something different and
see if I can get myself back on track again. I know my family
cares about me and I care about them too. I sent a few messages
back letting them know I am all right through the family grapevine, but
I know with the problems I've had that my family is very concerned
about me and will want to make sure that I am all right. It's OK
if they find me. Actually I was looking to teach grammar school
kids but this was what they had so I took it. I'm not sure if I'm
up for dealing with teenagers but it seems to be going all right so
far." And I was like, "I'm glad you're here and I hope things
work out for you. Feel free to talk about anything,
anytime. And yeah, teenagers don't really have much experience
but start thinking they know it all. I understand where you are
coming from on that. I'm surrounded by teenagers myself and I
know what a handful they can be." And we both laughed. And
then I said, "My dad works as a machinist for Corning Glass and my mom
works as a lunch monitor over at Kent Phillips school. My mom is
a Leo and my dad is a Taurus and so they both
are really stubborn and argue a lot. I have a younger sister
that is a Taurus too. I'm a Sagittarius so I'm the little thinker
of the family or is that little stinker, I keep forgetting. Most
of the time I either go outside or sit in my room just to get away from
all the yelling and such. My parents smoke too which is a
disgusting habit." My teacher was like, "My dad is a handyman,
you know, jack of all trades and master of none. He's a
sweetheart though and has a heart of gold. My dad has a good
reputation in the area because he always stands behind his work.
My mom is a homemaker and is a little different. My mom can't
stand dirt. I've caught my mom cleaning the neighbor's windows
because she didn't want to see any dirt. I know it sounds kind of
weird, but it's kind of funny too watching my mom clean the neighbor's
windows. My dad's speech is kind of slow so he doesn't usually
talk too much. I think it may be because my dad was born over in
China but I'm not sure. My mom will talk your ear off if you get
her going. My mom loves to talk about problems and such and
anytime I have a problem, she always has time and we sit and talk at
the kitchen table." My teacher just said
that
things were not going well for her and that she just needed to get away
and do something different. Kind of a mid life crisis type
thing. It
wasn't her family being mean or anything like that because they weren't
mean or such, but she needed to find herself again and she knew she
couldn't find herself in the same place with the same people doing the
same things over and over again. Karen said something like, "I
just needed to get out and get away and try something different.
I also knew that if I didn't just do it that I would probably talk
myself out of doing it so I just packed up my bags and I left."
My teacher also mentioned that
she had been sleepwalking and it had her kind of worried. So she
ran away from home and
became
a school teacher. She also told me that
she had to pull quite a
few strings to get her job as a teacher at the last minute.
Around mid to late October Karen told me the rest of the story on how
she came to live with her step cousin Wendy in Corning, New York.
On September 3, 1978 after a Las Vegas show Richard just said, “I quit”
and Karen asked him, “Are you sure?” and Richard said, “Yes”. So
Karen got a hold of her step cousin Wendy and I believe on September 4
or 5, 1978 Karen moved in with her step cousin Wendy. I know that
Karen was approved by the school board as a teacher on September 5,
1978 which was the day before school started on September 6,
1978. The school board was hesitant to hire Karen not because of
her qualifications (having a high school diploma) but because Karen had
a slight drawl in her voice. After hearing that, the 8th grade
science teacher, Max Baer Jr. stood up to the school board and said
that if they didn’t hire her that they would need to look for a science
teacher as well. For some odd reason, Max Baer Jr. has a goofy
sounding voice just like the Jethro Bodine character on the Beverly
Hillbillies show. The school board hired Karen (under the alias
she used with a high school diploma as Karen had college under her
name, but using her own name would bring up that ‘celebrity’ status and
Karen did not want preferential treatment because she was a celebrity
and she also didn’t want publicity as Karen was looking to get away
from the limelight for a while and try to figure this anorexia and
arrhythmia stuff out). So needless to say, Karen was hired as an
8th grade english teacher on September 5, 1978 the day before school
started. Karen and I talked about a lot of stuff before I knew
she was the actual Karen Carpenter in mid October 1978. The other
part, I was a Beatles fan really and my mom was the Carpenters
fan. I knew a little bit of stuff, but I really didn’t know that
much about Karen personally except from what she told me. But it
was kind of obvious after Karen told me that she was Karen Carpenter
and then all these other people started showing up like Paul Williams
and on and on.
Karen and I met on Wednesday
September 6, 1978 and Karen and I both agreed to the rule of not
physically touching each other after Karen had said something like,
"you can give me a hug if you like? I don't bite." and my saying
something like, "I would love to, but you know how some people talk and
it probably wouldn't be a good idea with me being jailbait and all
that. Corning is a small area so why give gossipers more to talk
about?" or something like that on I believe Friday September 8, 1978
for a reference here and it was originally my rule suggestion as a
precaution because of the 'jailbait' issue and being in a 'small town
where people like to gossip and spread rumors' for another
reference as on September 8, 1978 I knew Karen as a teacher and not as
a celebrity or such at that time. And as a teacher... no physical
contact between us to be on the safe side as people like to gossip and
accuse in a small area and Karen had told me that it was her first time
teaching and that she was new to the area. I did not know about
the celebrity part until roughly
mid October 1978 and the celebrity part was just an added reason as
Karen being a celebrity would have made an even bigger mess than just
her being a teacher. And yes, Karen used an alias too which was
another problem publicity-wise.
V. Karen's teaching
voice
Karen actually taught using
what she called 'my
Marlene
Dietrich' voice. That low 'basement' voice she had. Until
after the
Paul Williams meeting and our 'heart to heart' talk, Karen used only
that voice with me. Afterwards, Karen started talking to me in
her normal voice when others weren't around.
VI. Night lights and
diaries
We talked about a lot of
different stuff like she had a night light
because sometimes she would just get up in the middle of the night and
walk around if she was feeling restless. With the night light,
she didn't need to turn on the light. I told her that my sister
had a night light because she was afraid of monsters under the
bed. I said that I didn't use a night light myself, but a night
light wouldn't really bother me. And that seemed about the only
thing in all the talks we had that we didn't have in common with each
other. Well, that and she kept a diary. Several times she
would say, "hold on a minute, I'm writing stuff in my diary."
Once she even said, "I'm writing some really good stuff about you, do
you want to read it?" And I was like, "Not really. We
pretty much know so much about each other that it is kind of nice
having a secret once in a while." And she was like, "Fair
enough." And one time she asked, "Do you keep a diary?" And
I was like, "No, that's girl's stuff. My sister keeps a diary and
pretty much all she writes in it is I love Donny Osmond." And she
was like, "You don't read your sister's diary do you?" And I was
like, "No, I see her write I love Donny Osmond all over it and that's
personal stuff anyway which I really don't want to know. I'm a
guy and I'm not really interested in her girl stuff." And she
said, "That's good that you respect her privacy. She probably has
some personal things written in there that she doesn't want you to see
or know." And then she was like, "I keep a diary because I can
look back at my diary and see what happened and when and what I was
thinking at the time. And it is nice sometimes to look back at
when I was younger and remember things that happened that I forget
about. My hopes and dreams and that kind of stuff too. I
try to at least write a little something in my diary every day. I
guess guys call them journals, but it is the same thing really.
You ought to try it." And I was like, "I have a photographic type
memory so I don't really do a diary. I did it for a short while
when I was little, but it got boring for me very fast. I do
things every day, but I don't really consider myself to be a writer and
I would rather be doing stuff than writing about it." And she was
like, "Actually, you are a good writer. Your papers are usually
the first ones I look for when I am correcting stuff because your
writing is usually very thoughtful and fun to read. And that's
also kind of my point. I do stuff every day too like you, but I
feel by writing about it, I can remember it better if I need a
reference later on. Stuff like who I talked to, where I was, what
happened, what I was thinking. It's kind of my life's
encyclopedia set. My reference book. Really, you should try
it. I have a feeling you have a lot more to write about than you
realize." And then she looked at me again and said, "I can see
this is falling on deaf ears with you. But also I can see a time
down the road when you are going to say you wish you had listened to me
when you are trying to remember stuff that you could have very easily
have written down after it happened, but you didn't because you thought
it was a girl thing. It isn't. Ernest Hemingway kept a
diary and most great authors kept a diary too, excuse me, journal, same
thing. But anyway, I am not going to keep harping on you about
this because I know you aren't really listening anyway. I have
said my piece." And truthfully, we were both right. I do
have a pretty good photographic memory, but still, it probably would
have been even better if I had written this stuff down when it happened
to be more accurate. We are both correct, but, yes, I agree,
Karen, my eighth grade english and homeroom teacher, is definitely more
correct. Thanks Karen, Honey, I guess I am still learning from
you even though you are not around to teach me anymore in 2019.
And a note about Karen's diaries. I know I was mentioned
frequently from September 1978 until. Karen had an old boyfriend
named John Adrian, but John was a citizen of the UK and Karen was a
USAn citizen. John and Karen broke it off way back when and John
married someone else. John was not wishing to be a USAn citizen
and Karen was not wishing to live in the UK. Karen's diary
references starting September 1978 and later for 'Adrian', 'Ace',
'Darling', and possibly 'Smart Ass' are for a guy named Adrian Clair
Downing, III who is the guy writing this page that you are currently
reading. Also, if I remember right, Karen
told me something like,
"After I married Tom I stopped keeping a diary for a while because I
really didn't have much privacy around him and I was worried about him
going through my diaries so I really stopped doing a diary as I
couldn't write what I wanted to write anymore" or something like
that.
VII. Arrhythmia, signs,
the
unexplained,
past lives intro, Kristi Lynn, and baseball
Before I knew she was Karen
Carpenter and a
little while
before our past lives talk, Karen had mentioned to me that doctors had
diagnosed her with arrhythmia. Karen also
told me that the arrhythmia diagnosis was the
reason why she would exercise and check her heart rate (pulse) at times
on her
wrist or her neck. Exercising puts on muscle which muscle makes
it
difficult to lose weight. Karen knew that very well.
Karen's
exercising was not a side affect of anorexia. Karen was honestly
not
trying to lose weight by exercising, but was making sure that her heart
rate did not slow too much because of arrhythmia and the possibility of
her heart stopping. Karen was very adamant about not having a
pacemaker or any type of machine keeping her alive. So Karen
exercised. Arrhythmia is the medical term
for
a
person that has a heart beat that is not always steady. An
irregular
heart beat. I had told Karen also that my mother had the same
diagnosis of arrhythmia as well. My mother never went on a diet
nor had
anorexia and was native american, 5 feet 3 inches tall and weighed
around 103 to 104 pounds.
My mother weighed around 124 pounds when she had her first mini stroke
in 1995. My mother had slowly started gaining weight since around
late 1993 and had her mini stroke around September 1995 if I remember
right. The reason why the heart does not
beat
regularly is
not usually a problem with the heart itself, but a problem with either
the brain stem which is what controls involuntary activities in the
body, or with the nerves that go from the brain stem to the heart
(cardiac [heart] in the case of arrhythmia or pulmonary in the case of
lungs). And after
mid October when I found out who she was later on, we discussed the
nerve issue and we kind of
wondered if maybe the
electronic pulses from the microphones and such may be possibly causing
interference with Karen's nerves. But it seemed if that were a
problem, Karen would have had a lot more problems than just a couple
times. So we kind of ruled out the interference issue. The
microphones and amplifiers and such did not seem to be causing any
problems. A
person with arrhythmia will have a stroke at some point in their lives
unless the brain stem or the nerves between the brain stem and the
heart repair themselves. My mother had a non fatal stroke in 1995
and
several more in recent years but my mother is still alive. I
honestly
feel that Karen died on February 4, 1983 from a stroke but maybe
not. I feel it is always best to keep an open mind as you never
know. Physical
heart
problems usually have signs of chest pains and numbness and such.
Karen did not have these symptoms that I have ever been aware of,
however, I do know that Karen did have arrhythmia. I also do
appreciate many people drawing awareness to anorexia nervosa and its
side effects and such. It has helped many people realize that it
can
be a serious problem and that 'losing weight' can be a dangerous, if
not deadly, situation with some people. Karen being anorexic was
not a
good thing, however, it appears that Karen had actually got passed the
anorexia as she had the same weight of 108 pounds for at least 4 months
before she passed away. The suddenness and lack of warning in
Karen's
death honestly points to arrhythmia and a stroke.
And at the time, doctors had started to develop a thing
known as a pacemaker which would help the heart beat at a more normal
rate. Karen did not want to be kept alive by a machine.
That was that. As Karen would say about herself, "No artificial
ingredients or preservatives, just little old me. (And depending
on person talking to) The way God (or nature if non Christian) intended
me to be." And as Karen would say, "If God
wants me, He can take me."
Karen would use a
whitening tray at times to whiten her teeth. And of course Karen
there with her mouth full of a whitening tray would lead me to start
asking Karen stupid questions to get her to talk with the tray in her
mouth. Stuff like, "Does that taste good?", "How long has it been
anyway?", "So what's up for today?", "Are you tired of me asking you
stupid questions when I know you can't talk with your mouth
full?". Stuff like that.
Karen always believed in signs from God
and
praying. Karen
believed that if you asked about things that a sign would be given to
point you in the direction you needed to go. Well, actually Karen
believed in three signs after the Father, the Son, and the Holy
Ghost. And remember too, we
all make mistakes and we
don't always read signs properly, be careful what you wish and pray
for, and that God has
a sense of humor too so try not to take things too seriously.
Karen was also a Methodist (Christian). Karen did not
believe in
bigamy or polygamy so any rumor about Karen being Mormon or such is
untrue. Karen was also not one for a rigid structure like a
Catholic or such. The Church I was asked not to attend Sunday
School any more was Episcopal for a reference here.
We also talked about Ouija and horoscopes and that kind of
stuff
too. Neither one of us really believed that stuff, but still it
was something different to think and talk about. She held her
hand up and said, "See, my life line is really short and just barely
makes it to my thumb. It is what it is." And I held my hand
up and I was like, "My life line goes to about the bottom of my
thumb. It is what it is too." She also mentioned that she
was a Pisces and I was a Sagittarius, water and fire. Like said,
we didn't really believe in that stuff. Either of us. We
rather liked to just look through all of the horoscopes for ideas
regardless of the zodiac sign and all of that. There is a lot of
great advice there as far as relationships and such. As far as
Sagittarius and Pisces being fire and water, um, the zodiac guy never
met Karen and me for sure. As far as a Ouija board, I actually
can't remember on that. It was popular at the time, that is about
all I remember about it. I don't think either of us tried it, but
I can't remember for sure. Neither of us was into witchcraft or
the dark arts and that kind of stuff. The Magic 8 Ball stuff was
funny because you could ask the same question three times in a row and
get three different answers. Definitely magic in that one for
someone's bank account.
Karen did talk
about having regressive hypnotism done
but she didn't talk about it much to people. Apparently, she was
called Edna in a past life and was Methuselah's mother. She said
it made her feel old which is why she didn't talk to people about it
much. I think she said she had a great grandmother named Edna
too, but her great grandmother didn't have a boy named
Methuselah.
Karen apparently spoke in Aramaic when she talked about Enoch, Edna,
and Methuselah as well as Gainad too. Karen said that Enoch was
pronounced Ē nō ch (long
e, long o, not a k but a ch sound as in chip as Karen said that one
time). Karen joked too and said that her
last words as Edna were, "glub, glub, glub." Karen
also talked about Enoch's father Yared (yar ed) being the one to name
Methuselah as that would have been the name for Enoch's brother,
but Yared did not have another son. Methuselah was the one who
named his sister Eliza or Elizabeth (and after Enoch and Edna named
Gainad, could you blame Methuselah for not wanting Enoch and Edna to
give a child another corny type name?). The bloodline was Yared,
Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech (lam ech, ch as in chips), and Noah (No a and
the a as in cat, so not no uh, but no a). Also,
apparently, Karen was known as Yahtsodharai and had a son named Rahula
that was the son of Buddha. According to His Holiness, the 14th
Dalai
Lama, I was the 'Enlightened One' Buddha as His Holiness was only able
to
see me through Karen by having Karen, Yahtsodharai,
see me as having dirt on my face and then Karen using her thumb to wipe
that dirt off. It was a very short time, but in that short time,
His
Holiness was able to see inside me as I was directly blocked from His
Holiness in 1979. Karen also mentioned
Muhammad and Khadijah.
Of course Karen and
I talked about naming kids and of course
Adrian IV for a boy and Karen Junior for a girl (but
Karen asked
what my sister's name was and I said Robin Lynn, and Karen said that
was kind of ominous because her brother's name was Richard Lynn, and
Karen thought that two Karens running around would get confusing so
Karen Lynn was out. And Karen was not
going to name her daughter
Junior. During school that day I made it a point to stop by her
classroom and poke my head inside the door and I would say, "Junior,
Junior, Junior" and Karen would kind of smile and then look down at her
steno pad. Like I told Karen, "Junior is a nice tomboy
name. She'll
like it." And Karen said, "I'm not calling my daughter
Junior." We thought of Roberta Lynn, but
we didn't
really like Roberta as a name [Roberta had 2 things going for it - Burt
Bacharach and starts with R]. Rhonda Lynn? Rikki
Lynn? Rita Lynn? Rachel Lynn? Racquel Lynn? We
couldn't really
think of a good
girl's name that began with R. Adriana, Adrienne, Claire, Clara,
nope [yes, even girls don't sound good with variations of my
name]. Olivia? Dionne? Stella? Scarlet?
Edna and Agnes
just sounded too
old.
Elizabeth and Mary were common like Karen. My mother's maiden
name was
Lee Ellen Bardo. Bridget was out too. Karen
made a rule that the name had to have three things in it related to
things like family, names, and stuff Karen loved. And
after about six pages of cross out names on a green steno pad, Karen
asked again about my mother's name, and I said, "Lee Ellen".
Karen
liked the name Christie
because of Christie Lee Brinkley [Billy Joel's band worked on
Karen's
solo album] and also Kristy McNichol [Christina
Ann McNichol, which Ann
and Lee were 'signs' as well] was on the
1977 and 1978 Christmas specials. So
Karen
thought of
spelling it Kristi instead of Kristy
or Christy or Christie because Karen realized that many girl's names
ended in y and ending in i was a bit different and distinctive, plus
Kris Kringle with the K's [Kris boy, Kristi
girl] and Christmas because Karen loved
Christmas and Karen was also a "tea totaller" at
the time as well, so ti [tea] hit the spot too, and
Karen was proud to be a Christian so Kristi Lynn for a girl after at
least 6 to 8 hours of
Karen thinking hard about it. Karen needed three things for the
name and Kristi had way more than three. We were both surprised
that
smoke
hadn't
come out of Karen's ears that day so I checked her ears with a
flashlight just to be sure. No smoke or flames, and the
flashlight didn't shine through to the other side so all was good.
Honestly, someone at the school had ear mites and we were
asked to check each other's ears just in case. I liked my stories
better.),
but then I asked the question, "If we could name
the kids anything we wanted, what would we name them?" After
thinking for about ten seconds, I
said Fuzz
Nuts
for a second boy and Karen said Gitchy Goo for a second girl in honor
of naming
Methuselah's brother Gainad for Fuzz Nuts (nad is spanish for testicle,
nuts) and Karen loved to play 'Gitchy Goo' with babies because "babies
are so cute when they giggle". Yes, we
were joking about the
second names which was why it didn't take us
long at all.
I called Karen "Yaz" (because of Yahtsodharai mainly but also
Carl Yastrzemski) for a little while after this and we
talked about baseball a bit here and there. She said she liked
baseball better than softball because the ball was a lot easier to
handle. We both agreed that we would rather play baseball than
watch it. We could still watch it, but we weren't really much for
sitting still too long. We would both get kind of restless if we
sat too long. I know we were in 'Yankee territory' but Karen
liked the California Angels and I liked the Oakland A's. The
California Angels had Nolan Ryan and Frank Tanana at the time in 1978
and Karen loved to pitch. After baseball season started and Nolan
Ryan got traitored, I mean traded to the Houston Astros (or was that
the Houston A**holes if you said it with your teeth closed while trying
to hold your breath), Karen switched to the New York Yankees with Billy
Martin and team captain Thurman Munson. As baseball season
approached, April 1979, Karen’s favorite player was Thurman Munson as
he wasn’t one to showboat. Steady as a rock. The same as
Johnny Bench and Johnny could hold five baseballs in one hand
too. Joe Morgan and his pump in the batter's box. Karen
also liked watching Pete Rose (Charlie Hustle) as she liked his
nickname but also his work ethic of hustle on and off the field.
Karen's favorite manager was Billy Martin because as people knew, Billy
was a bit "different” and Karen liked being different too. I
liked Reggie Jackson but Karen wasn’t too fond of him as she felt he
showboated too much. Karen also mentioned that when they first
moved out to California and because Karen liked to play baseball and
she was a little over 4 foot tall and about 120 pounds or so, the other
kids came up with a nickname of 'Pudge' for her around 1963. It
wasn't meant to be mean or make fun of her or anything as Carlton Fisk
had that nickname too (Karen had it first, copy cat) and Karen kind of
liked that nickname as it was a baseball nickname (but Karen was a
pitcher and not a catcher). Pudge wasn't "Richard's little
sister" any more. And since Pudge was a tomboy and played
baseball with the cute baseball jocks, some of the girls would ask
Karen to try and fix them up with the baseball guys. After a
little while, Karen learned to play 'matchmaker' in high school.
(Oops, added on September 25, 2021) And to try
and help
explain why Karen had a difficult time remembering that I was just 13
then 14 years old at the time... There was a girl in class that
had a
problem and she approached Karen (Miss Bihuniak) about it.
Originally
she tried to talk with just Karen in private but she realized how the
school 'grapevine' operated and that people would find out eventually
anyway so the girl allowed me to listen as well. But the girl's
problem was that she had kissed a boy and because of what she had been
told, she thought she was pregnant. After hearing this, Karen was
at a
loss for words as what do you say in a situation like this as you don't
want to be their actual parent and you don't want them thinking their
parent(s) would not be honest or such. So Karen actually
had an ept
(Early Pregnancy Test) in her purse, so her and the girl went into the
bathroom and of course, negative. When they came back, I said
"Negative, right?" and the girl said "How'd you know?" And I was
like,
"You're not old enough or developed enough to get pregnant yet so you
dodged the rabbit this time but you need to start being more careful"
or something like that. And of course the girl was very thankful
and
we kept it secret between the three of us. Well, kind of secret
as
after this if a girl had a problem, this other girl would recommend
Miss Bihuniak (Karen) as someone to talk to about it. So at
times,
Karen and me and a few others would have what Karen and I called "pow
wows" on occassion with others in Karen's classroom during lunch or
after school. I was only 13 at that time, but Karen kind of
scratched
her head many times trying to remember that, as many times the stuff
that came out of my mouth didn't sound like stuff a 13 year old would
know or say.
VIII. Past lives
explained, getting close to you
(Written September 7, 2019)
As far as past lives,
this gets
interesting as far as Karen and I. Through the past regressive
hypnotherapy that Karen had, Karen was able to remember in the present
what happened after the therapy. Karen could remember the past
lives
in her current life, but only the parts that came up during
hypnotherapy, not the whole life itself. And it was kind of
confusing
to Karen because many of these memories were in other languages and
Karen didn't know these other languages, but she could repeat what was
there even though she didn't understand what she was saying.
To
explain...
Karen's lives.
Edna (ed nuh). Aramaic.
Rachel (Ray chell) Hebrew.
Tsoporo (tsoap poar oa). Midian Hebrew.
Delilah (de lile uh) Hebrew.
Mekada (meh kah duh), Queen of Sheba. Hebrew
dialect.
Yahtsodharai (yaht sod har ay). Chinese
dialect.
Mary Magdala (mayree mag duh luh). Hebrew.
Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (kuh dee j[long j sound, zh?]ah bint
koo way
lid). Arabic.
A black queen with
a nice butt, Mrs Shaka Zulu? Swahili.
Barbara Allen. English.
Karen Anne
Carpenter. English.
Which correspond with...
Enoch (ee noa ch)
Jacob (jay kub)
Moses (moa ziss) Egyptian. Mosha (moa shuh) Hebrew
Samson (sam sun)
Solomon (sol oa mun)
Siddhartha Gautama [Buddha] (Sid hart ha gow tah mah)
Ieshua [Jesus] (yehshuah)
Abu al Qasim Muhammad bin Abdallah bin Abd al Mutalib bin
Hashim (ahboo al kah seem moo hom id bin abdahlah bin abd al mootaleeb
bin hahs heem)
A black king with a nice butt, Shaka
Zulu?
Swahili.
Nothing that I am aware of? American Civil War.
Adrian Clair Downing III. English.
And for those that wonder (myself included), there can be talk of the
prophet Isaiah which would fit between Mekada and Yahtsodharai or
Solomon and Buddha in the timelines. Isaiah did have a wife and
children, however, I do not remember Isaiah being brought up by Karen
during this. As such, I know about the speculations and like
that, but I can not say a definite yes or no about this.
For the Shaka Zulu reference, the sound tsulu was in the past life
vision. There were several tongue clicks and such and it was a
preparing for war scene but not much more than the tsulu
reference. Senzangakhona kaJama (me) did not come up directly nor
did Nandi kaBhebhe eLangeni (Karen) that I am aware of, but it would
most likely be these two that were the ‘couple with nice butts’
referenced above. No way to be positive though.
At the time, I did not know
she was Karen Carpenter. At the time,
she
was my eighth grade teacher, Miss Bihuniak. Anyway, we would sing
songs together here and there and this one day I sang "Close To You" to
her with slightly altered lyrics. I altered "All the girls in
town" to
"All the guys in town" and "blue eyes" to "brown eyes" and at the end
Karen was like, "I noticed you looked at my eyes before singing."
And
I was like, "Yeah, your eyes are kind of a reddish brown but that is
kind of a mouthful so I just shortened it to brown." And Karen
was
like, "As you notice, my eyes change color a little bit and go from a
milk chocolate to a deep red brown. That song means a lot to me,
thank you for singing it to
me."
And then Karen continued, "I was born with red eyes and platinum hair
and people thought I was going to be an albino but my eyes got darker
as I got older. Some of the kids used to call me Evil Karen
because my
eyes were reddish color when I was younger. As I got older my eye
color got darker and I didn't get picked on as much." And I was
like,
"When I was born I had slate gray eyes and platinum hair too and people
thought I might be albino as well, but my eyes got a light blue color
as I got older with a little bit of yellow here and there. I
didn't
get picked on though." And she was like, "Can you keep a
secret?" And
I was like, "Sure, like I said in the beginning, feel free to talk
about anything, anytime." And Karen was like, "I was having
problems
with eating so a hypnotherapist tried regressive therapy on me to see
what might be causing my problems." And I was like, "Sounds
interesting. I can keep secrets. Outside you, I really
don't talk
much to people anyway. Just hi here and there and idle chit
chat." And
Karen was like,
"Do you promise not to tell?" And I was like, "I know we play
jokes on
each other and such, but honest, I promise I won't tell anyone."
And
then Karen was like, "I'll know if you tell anyone and you'll regret if
you ever tell anyone about this, trust me. But they did what they
call
past regressive hypnotherapy on me to see if something in my past may
be causing me to keep trying to lose weight. They looked at my
past
and then the hypnotherapist actually went back further by
accident.
The weird part is that I actually remember what the hypnotherapist did
and I still remember the stuff that came up. There are a couple
that I
haven't been able to figure out, but the really weird part is that I
remember the stuff as it was. In the couple I haven't been able
to
figure out, I apparently was a girl (either 13 or 16 years old?) and I
was raped and killed by a Union soldier during the American Civil
War. The
other seems to be about being a black woman and a black man speaking an
african dialect of sorts with tongue clicks and such but I can't really
make it out too well. It's kind of fuzzy," And I
was like, "That rape one must be tough to think about and is probably
blocked somewhat. I actually see the black
man and woman one with the warriors with shields
and spears and such looking like they are preparing for war, but like
you said, it
is a bit fuzzy and nothing really stands out except there is a lot of
red color and we have nice
butts as black people."
She was like, "I agree on the nice butts on that one. I like
butts too. I actually got a name and the
story
checks out on the rape one. [and then
Karen looks at me kind of funny and then says] It was you. You
raped me." And then I said, "I wasn't around during the Civil
War, but I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Are you sure it was
me?" And Karen was like, "He looks exactly like you but it could
be a coincidence, but he would have to be your exact double. I've
heard that we all have someone that looks exactly like us so maybe that
was him. Your exact double. He doesn't sound like
you." And I was like, "That's a relief. Thanks. I'll
try to be more careful and I definitely know that I couldn't ever hurt
let alone rape you, so I'm pretty sure that was someone else."
And Karen continued, "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on that
but watch it. I've got my evil eye on you. Her name was
Barbara Allen
and I found out where she was buried (I think Karen said Chattanooga
but not sure) and I visited her grave and left
flowers. Her grave seemed very lonely and abandoned and I kind of
got
chills when I was there. But it is tough
to remember so I try
not
to think about that one if I can help it." And to note here,
later on after I knew it was Karen, we both kind of wondered if maybe
Karen was a singer this time after we got to thinking that maybe that
old song, "Barbara Allen" or "Barb'ry Allen" may have been written
about this past life of Karen's, but maybe not. But that was
later on after mid October. And I was like, "I can
imagine." And then she was like, "The rest is kind of
weird. I
remember some details in other languages and definitely some names
too. Promise you won't tell or make fun of me?" And I was
like, "I
might still pick on you about other stuff, but I promise I won't bring
this stuff up with anyone else except you." And she was like,
"Fair
enough. I'll trust you. Like I said, the hypnotherapist
went back too
far and I started talking in odd languages. The hypnotherapist
didn't
speak the other languages, but he recognized the stuff I was talking
about and a few names and such. But anyway, after the therapy
sessions, I remember the memories that I talked about to the
hypnotherapist. How religious are you Ace?" I was like,
"Well,
honestly, they kicked me out of Sunday School at Church when I was 9 if
that helps." And she was like, "OK, well one of my memories is
about
Mary Magdala. I know people say Magdalene, but Magdala.
Mary spoke hebrew so I don't really know what she
actually said, but I can kind of figure it out. Mary
definitely wasn't a prostitute. [And Richard
Carpenter please try to ignore what is written here between the
brackets and kind of grayed out, Karen figured you would know who this
was and get mad at him for it, so Karen kept this secret as far as I
know because in a way, Karen felt kind of flattered about being
considered sexy enough to get the offer... But then Karen told me
that
one of Richard's friends at college asked Karen if she would be
interested in making some money. All that Karen had to do was
show up
at a hotel room and have sex with a guy and Karen could keep the
money. Richard's friend gave Karen the hotel and room number but
Karen
couldn't go through with it. Karen said, "For all I know, that
guy
could be still waiting there for me but I just don't have it in my
heart to have sex with just anybody. I could never be a
prostitute."] Mary had
all of
these
different guys around her which I think were Jesus' apostles and it
appears Jesus had a problem and
approached Mary about it. Jesus' problem was that he was a bit
large
for most women to handle. I know what Jesus looked like
naked. Jesus
was hung like a horse, so to speak. I feel kind of naughty about
remembering it. I, Mary, called him Yeshua,
not
Jesus. We both took our robes off and when he tried to get on
top, I
squeezed around his sides with my legs and I rolled him over on the
ground and I got on top. We held each other's hands and I did all
the
work. He had green eyes and curly dirty blond hair. Oops,
I'm sorry,
was that too much information for you? Are you alright?"
And I was
like, "I'm fine. I forgot to tell you that I'm not a virgin
either.
Do you remember when you froze up in class because I had those wild
thoughts in my head? Well, I just saw what you saw just
now. He's
about 10 or so inches long and about an inch and a half to two inches
around and circumcised too. I think you or Mary or whatever made
the
right choice on that one. That one might have hurt a bit
otherwise.
I'll definitely keep my mouth shut on that one. I know the Church
would probably have you boiled in oil on that one if it became public
so to speak. Also, I can't tell, did he have an inny or an outy
belly button? I can't really tell because there's something in
the way [and I kind of giggled]." And Karen continued,
"Thanks. He definitely had an inny. I can tell. He
has a hairy belly but there's nothing sticking out outside you know
[and she giggles a little]. You see it too?" And I was
like, "Kind of I guess. He is kind of hairy there, not there, but
you know what I mean." And Karen said, "I know what you mean and
you're being naughty. Anyway, it seems that
the others
thought of me as his mistress or whatever and seemed to be jealous or
angry at me most of the time except his mom. It seems like we
spent a lot of time talking with one another and not just you
know. I'm not sure where Jesus came from
because his name is Yeshua and there's no J sound in it. Yeh shoo
uh, no J. Then I have this other
one where I am speaking aramaic and I'm with a guy named Enoch, long e
long o and ch as in chips, not E knock or whatever. But I had a
great
grandmother named Edna, but she didn't speak aramaic, nor do I.
Me and
Enoch had I think seven children with one of them named Methuselah and
another Gainad [and she laughed] and the others (and she said one of
the girls was either named Eliza or Elizabeth, but she named them
all. I just can't remember that part now). I think Enoch's
dad
Iared (Yar ed) named him Methuselah. I am apparently Methuselah's
mom
and I don't talk or think about it much because it makes me feel
old.
I kind of joke around and say my last words were glub, glub,
glub. I actually remember being swept away in a big wave of water
and being underwater for a while and then this hand reached in and
grabbed me and pulled me out of the water before I drowned. The
one that pulled me out looks exactly like you and sounds like you
too. After you pulled me out we both floated off into the clouds
and that was the last I remember on that. Thank you. But
it is kind of freaky me being Methuselah's mom a long time ago."
And I
was like, "Yeah, that sounds like something I would do at the last
minute. I'm still sorry about the rape one even though it
probably wasn't me. Do you forgive me?" And Karen said,
"I'm a Christian, of course I forgive you, but don't ever let it happen
again or else" and Karen kind of giggles and I
smile back and say, "Thanks.
I needed that. Definitely better than a V8 [hint, Karen used to
drink
a V8 juice once in a while and the commercial at the time was
"Thanks.
I could have had a V8" and the person slaps their head or something
like that] that stuff's yucky.
Well, I guess you're as old as you feel.
Being Methuselah's dad doesn't exactly make me feel like a spring
chicken myself." And then she
was
like, "I guess I was Moses' wife Tsoporo too. I remember seeing
us
sitting around a bunch of sheep. His name
was Moses in Egyptian and he was called Mosha in Hebrew and he didn't
stutter, but he had a lisp. My name started
with a
ts sound,
not an
s or z." And I was like, "Mothith with a lithp (lisp), like
thith."
And she was like, "You shouldn't make fun of people like that.
How
would you feel if someone made fun of you." And I was like,
"Actually,
I wasn't mocking, I was just kind of mimicking and besides I understand
because as you can see, four eyes are better than two if you can't see
too well." And she was like, "Exactly. You made your
point. There's a bunch more, and I think
we
got
time, but I'll try and hurry it up a bit, so... Apparently,
I was
also the Queen of Sheba (Be'er Sheba?, I think Karen actually said
"bear sh*t" and then I think she said, "I can see why they may want to
change that name in the Bible to Sheba instead of sh*t"), Mekada, and I
had a son,
Menelik (Men eh
lick), from Solomon. That one is a kind of hebrew dialect.
I seem to
remember taking the Ark of the Covenant to Ethiopia or such in a
caravan with me and
my son. I can see the area where the Ark
was placed, so I would know where it is if I was there. Then
there is another one where I was Delilah." And I was like, "Why
Delilah, why? I guess I need to stop cutting my hair then, that
or I need to start singing Tom Jones songs" And Karen was like,
"I like long hair but it can look kind of funny on some guys. You
might want to keep yours short though just in case. Then
there is another one in chinese where I am Yahtsodharai
with a guy named Siddhartha Gautama. We had a son named
Rahula.
Apparently this guy is the one known as Buddha." And I was like,
"Sounds really interesting so far, there's more?" And she is
like,
"You were a bad boy on this next one. We're not turning Mormon
and moving to Utah. I won't allow it. If you are going to
be with me, it is going to be just you and me, understand?" And I
was like, "Indubitably or whatever that word is, I'm only a one woman
man, but what did I do this time?" And Karen was like, "Well, I
was your other wife Rachel and you were a very naughty boy Jacob.
Four women. Shame on you. You should be ashamed of
yourself, but I guess it couldn't be helped. My father wouldn't
let you marry me, so you were forced to marry my older sister.
Then you cheated on my sister with two other women. What do you
have to say for yourself? I thought so. You men are all
alike. Then you finally settled down after I finally told your
mom, Rebekkah, and she got a hold of you and straightened you right
out. Serves you right and don't you forget it." And
Karen is almost laughing and I was like, "I won't; I promise I won't
forget it. What was I thinking. Imagine four women all
asking do you love me all of the time. What in the blazes was I
thinking? Good thing I don't remember it because that must have
been horrible. I probably just blocked that one out of my mind
completely it was so bad. I promise I won't do that again to
myself, er, um, I mean you." And Karen was like, "I'm pretty sure
you learned your lesson after that one. Serves you right
too. You got what you deserved." And I was like, "I'll say
and then some. That'll teach me." And then Karen continued,
"Well, apparently I was the prophet Muhammad's first wife, Khadijah,
and I was a wealthy business woman too before I met him. Her last
name
was Koo way lid and I remember her last name because it sounds like
kool aid. We had
seven kids I believe but one or two died young. His name was [and
she read from a piece of paper] Abu al Qasim
Muhammad bin Abdallah bin Abd al Mutalib bin
Hashim which is a mouthful which was why I wrote it down."
And I was
like, "Abdullah. That's actually kind of cool. Don't worry,
I definitely
won't
tell. I probably won't remember half this stuff anyway. Any
more?"
And she was like, "I think that's about it. My eating problem
seems to
be from when I was growing up and I noticed that all the boys liked
girls that were skinny, so I picked up some bad habits to try and be
thinner. But I have big bones so it is kind of tough for me to
stay
slim looking. That and I felt awkward because I was a late
bloomer (note, Karen said she developed bosoms about age 16 and a
junior in high school at another time during a talk about tissues of
all things). I also feel awkward because I
feel
the need to stay skinny
to attract the right guy when he comes along, but when I'm skinny I
start feeling like guys are watching me more and I start feeling like
some guy is just going to rape me someday. It's a vicious
cycle. I've
never been raped or such. I just get these weird thoughts in my
head
at times about it. I don't know why I get
these weird thoughts, I just do."
And I was like, "You look great for being Methuselah's mom. I
know
it's not funny, but it's true. You would look great being
anyone's mom
really. You definitely don't look old enough to be a grandma
yet. I
probably ought to shut up before I put my foot in my mouth again.
Let's face it, we're both the types that show up on a blind date and
next thing you know the date has to go to the bathroom and never
returns. A nice personality doesn't go too far nowadays.
We definitely aren't going to win any beauty
pageants. But
then
too, you don't need to please everyone, you just need to find that one
special someone. I think we're both special in our own
ways." And
then she was like, "I've had that blind date thing happen a couple
times myself, both ways. You almost did put your foot in your
mouth, but
nice save. That beauty pageant comment is what saved you.
And please
don't put your foot in your mouth again like you did before. I
know
you were just trying to be funny, but that was disgusting.
Actually,
would you sing Close To You as a duet with
me?"
IX. The cactus
My teacher also had a
cactus on her desk. She grew up out west
and her cactus was her reminder of home. Mike Corcoran and I used
to take
the needles off the cactus and poke one another. After a little
while, her cactus was not doing so well. A cactus without needles
does not absorb water from the air very well as we found out.
X. Dreams come true?
I remember early on (about
the first or second
week of
school) that one time Miss Bihuniak had this big smile on her face and
said something like, "Am I the girl of your dreams?" And I
answered
back, "I honestly can't lie to you Miss Bihuniak. I think about
you
all the time, but I have honestly never had a dream about you. I
used
to have some pretty wild dreams and such until over this summer when I
had a weird dream where I fell off a plateau like in the Road Runner /
Wile E Coyote cartoons and I actually hit bottom. It was so cool
that I
replayed it in my sleep three times and then I had a thought in my
dream of 'I think you may have just had a heart attack and you better
wake yourself up'. So I woke myself up and kind of gave myself
CPR
just in case. But ever since then, once in a while I get a weird
tone
in my ear like in the ear test." And she said, "I think they call
that
tinnitus." And then I continued, "But anyway, I guess according
to
the
dream experts or whatever, it is supposed to mean that you can
accomplish whatever you set your mind to do. But after that
dream, I
haven't actually had a dream since." And she was like, "I heard
that
when you hit bottom you die." And I was like, "I heard that too,
but I
don't think it's true." She was like, "I thought it was weird too
because usually when I meet a guy that I like, I start getting dreams
about them, but I haven't dreamt about you yet. I still have
dreams
though." And I was like, "You are really more like a dream come
true,
maybe that's why." She was like, "I kind of feel the same way
about
you, like you are my dreams come true too." And we both locked
eyes in
a starry type gaze for a bit then I started feeling a little dizzy so I
sat down and said, "Sorry, I just got a little dizzy there and I had to
sit down." And she was like, "Me too, but I was already sitting
down.
Are you alright?" And I was like, "I never felt better. I
always feel
wonderful when I 'm around you for some reason. I don't usually
feel
dizzy though. This is a first for me." And she was like,
"I've had it
for a while myself. You start feeling like you are dizzy and
floating
on air. I think you caught the love bug." And I was like,
"I think
you're right. You've got it too?" And she was like, "I've
had it for
a while now. I was wondering when you were going to
notice." And I
was like, "I thought you were just being nice to me because I was a
kid." And she was like, "At first I was just being nice, but you
kind
of grew on me in a hurry. The way you always smile around
me. The
sound of your voice. I just feel so relaxed when I'm around
you. You
just have this calming effect on me like no matter what happens,
everything will be alright. I just couldn't help myself."
And I was
like, "You're a really nice person and I just can't help but be nice
around you. I like seeing you be happy because it makes me happy
too.
I just can't help myself either. I really like seeing you
smile." And
then she was like, "Me too." And then, "It's getting late, we
probably
ought to get going. I'll see you tomorrow." And then we
both got up
and we both left.
XI. Freckles
And then another time Karen
said this to me, "I know you fantasize
about me, but I have a lot more freckles than that. Could you
please add some more freckles? I almost feel like you are
fantasizing about someone else."
XII. Hidden but not for
long
There was also this one
time early on (probably in September) where I
was standing in front of my teacher who was sitting in her chair and
she had this sheepishly "I'm trying to hide something" look on her
face. I kind of looked at her and wondered, and then a musky
smell hit my nose and I figured it out. I smiled at her with a
big proud smile and she started smiling back. Then I pointed to
myself and she nodded her head yes. Then I kind of hugged myself
and she hugged herself too. Then I used my finger and drew a
heart on my chest [love] then I pointed at her [you] and then I held up
two fingers [too] and she did the same back. Then I kind of
walked back over to my chair and we both lovingly stared into each
other's eyes and had our arms on our desks kind
of
reaching towards each other for a bit until
someone else walked into the room. Oh well. If they hadn't
walked in, we probably still would have been staring into each other's
eyes forever if possible. So the first time, we didn't actually
say "I love you" to each other, we actually mimed "love you too" to
each other.
XIII. It's the thought
that counts
Around the second or third
week of classes, we both had an odd event
happen. I was looking at my teacher with my gazing eyes and I
just started thinking, wouldn't it be great if we could just run off to
the closet for a little bit and make out (foreplay). And an odd
thing
happened a short while after I was gazing into her eyes while she was
teaching class. After that short while, my teacher just paused in
class in the middle of her discussion and kind of mouthed the word yes
while she stood there and just froze up while staring back at me.
I looked away and down towards the ground and then I could hear her
say, "Where was I? Just a second". And then I kind of saw
her go to her desk and look at her daily note sheet. I could
still kind of see her looking at her sheet and the other kids in the
class were kind of snickering a little bit, but I still kept my head
down and kind of glanced up to see her looking and then she leaned over
towards me and asked, "where was I?" and I told her where she was in
the discussion. And then she was
like, "OK, got it." And then she continued her class
discussion. Of course after school, we talked. She was
like, "What was that? I know it isn't your fault, but all of a
sudden I just got some thoughts in my head after we made eye
contact. And thanks for looking away and reminding me where I
was, I just lost it there
because I felt you staring. And I know it wasn't one of those
undress me with your eyes type stares either. It felt like you
wanted me to meet you in the closet and make out with me. I could
feel you caressing every inch of me and it felt great. I was
enjoying every minute of it. And
then I could feel you trying to guide me to the closet and I just froze
up. It was really odd. I just can't explain it, but I felt
it." And I put my hands over my mouth and then my teacher's eyes
just got really wide and she said, "You were?" And I just shook
my head yes with my hands still over my mouth and then she put her
hands over her mouth too. I then said, "I just couldn't help it,
you were up there and those thoughts just came into my head. I
like a lot of foreplay and I just couldn't help it. It just
happened." She was like, "I know. I like a lot of foreplay
too. I couldn't help it either. I actually wanted to go
into the closet, but I froze up somehow." And then she said, "We
couldn't have gone in the closet anyway." And then she opened the
closet door and it had shelves inside the closet and there was no way
we could have fit in the closet as the shelves were full. And I
was
like, "I
don't think we want to go through that again. It was wonderful
and all, but the rest of the kids in the class would start talking if
they figured out we were staring at each other like that. When
you start teaching, I'll just stare down at your desk or the floor, and
then when I hear chalk on the chalk board, I will look up again.
When I see you put the chalk back in the tray, I will start looking
down again. I would rather look at your front, but if I am going
to memorize every inch of you, I should probably look at your caboose
once in a while too. You have a really nice caboose too, just as
a reference." And she was like, "Caboose? I'll go with that
I guess. I can think of a few other choice words people have used
over the years for it, but caboose wasn't one of them. I kind of
like it. Caboose it is." I was like, "Me too, it's nice and
shapely like the rest of you. Just enough in all the right places
without overdoing it." And she was like, "Everyone's a
critic. Presence by Led Zeppelin is a really good album. I
think you would enjoy it. The album cover has this obelisk on
it... (note here, I remember the Presence album being mentioned
by Karen at one time, but I am not sure if she may have mentioned Led
Zeppelin IV [the Runes] at this time and maybe Presence at another
time) I haven't really noticed my caboose
lately for some reason I guess I have fallen a little behind on that,
but you have a nice caboose too you know." And she just gave me a
slight look and started to sip on her tea. And I was like, "I'll
try not to look directly at you while you're teaching. I don't
think we want this happening again too many times. The other kids
haven't figured it out yet. I think we'll be alright so long as
we don't stare at each other while you're teaching." So most of
my english classes, I remember my teacher talking about stuff while I
looked down at her desk or the floor (I sat in front in the middle,
right in front of her desk so I could see her without other kids
blocking the view.). There were about 4 or 5 times that we
accidently made eye contact, but it worked well for the most
part. My teacher also moved her tabletop book rack from her left
side of her desk towards the center to kind of help block mine and her
view a little bit too, just as a precaution. Her cactus got moved
to the left side instead of the center of her desk for some reason.
Another time, Karen is teaching english class and
I am in
another
class (I believe French class but not sure). I get
called on to answer a question in another class and Karen is just all
of a sudden repeating
everything I say and do in the other class while Karen was trying to
teach english. Another
teacher (my Math teacher, Mr. [Steve?] Swanson) is out in the hallway
and hears and sees this too and can't
believe it. The kids in Karen's class are kind of laughing a
little because Karen just started going completely off subject and she
didn't have a clue about what she was doing or where she was.
Yes, Karen wore a black wig, but the kids kind of looked at it like it
was a 'blonde moment' and laughed a little about it
as Karen was a normally very focused person.
After Karen snapped out of it she went into the hallway and the other
teacher was standing there in the corner of the hallway. Karen
said, "What just happened? Do you know?" to the other teacher and
the other teacher that was standing in the corner of the hallway just
said, "It was the darndest thing but I just heard Ace down the hall
answering a question and I heard you start saying exactly what Ace said
at the exact same time. I don't have a clue either. I was
just heading to the bathroom and I saw it and I heard it, but I still
don't believe it" or something
like that. It was noted that there was something odd going on
between Karen and I that just couldn't be explained. Nothing bad,
but how do you explain two different people in two different places
doing the exact same thing at the exact same time? The
teachers agree not to call on me to answer questions in class if it can
be avoided. After this was when I started
hearing, "Believe only half of what you see and nothing of what you
hear."
And yet another time, Karen is sitting there and just looking at me and
looking kind of puzzled. And I was kind of like, "OK, What did I
do now?" And Karen was like, "Nothing, but I've been kind of
going through your thoughts and I noticed you have some blank spots in
there." And I was like, "Yeah, you know how guys are.
Sometimes we just zone out and don't think of anything." And
Karen was like, "That's kind of weird, I'm thinking all the time and my
mind is running constantly. What's it like?" And I was
like, "Nothing. Nothing at all. Space, the final
frontier. To boldly go where every man has gone before to the
land of peace and quiet and happy happy. That's what it's
like." And of course Karen, "And you guys call us brain
dead. It figures."
XIV. I quit chorus. Why?
I also talked to my teacher
about how I was in chorus the year before,
but I quit. I talked about the chorus being made up mostly of
sopranos and how I used to try and falsetto the chorus to try and get a
more even sound than just 40 sopranos and about 20 'others' (bass,
baritone, tenor, alto I, alto II, and soprano, plus that 'dog whistle'
range that no one could hear anyway except maybe a dog or such).
The music teacher added the Beatles' Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da song to the
repertoire (fancy word for playlist) and it was just terrible.
The teacher's piano playing was terrific. But the song does not
work well in the soprano range, and as I tried to sing louder to
balance the sound out with my teacher's piano playing (I worked as a
scorekeeper and announcer at the local Little League minor league ball
park, so I learned 'voice projection' there at an early age without
knowing what it was called) the sopranos kept getting louder to try and
drown me out. And I kept getting louder to try and balance the
song out. Louder and louder, and it just got to be a huge mess
over this one song, so I quit chorus. It just wasn't worth it
anymore for me to try and override 40 sopranos that did not want to be
overridden. Just a huge mess that I needed to stay away
from. So I quit and stayed away from chorus after the seventh
grade.
XV. Singing together.
Dueting?
And seeing as how I used to
be in chorus, my teacher asked if I still
sang. I was like, "Usually in my room to records anymore. I
don't sing on stage or such." And she was like, "I used to sing
in a choir but it's been a while. Would you want to sing with me
sometime?" And I was like, "We could try. I can't really
promise too much. I was never really into choir music." And
she was like, "Do you know the Beach Boys' Barbara Ann?" And I
was like, "My dad listens to it. It's pretty simple.
Besides, they laugh half way through it anyway. I guess we could
try that maybe." So she was like, "You take the low part and I'll
take the high part." And I was like, "OK." And so we
harmonized a Barbara Ann duet which didn't sound half bad really.
I messed up a couple of the verses but not too bad. But Karen had
a really low volume singing voice and it was difficult to hear her at
times. I joked around and called her Marcel Marceau a couple
times because I could see her lips moving but I couldn't hear anything
coming out. Then I came
out with Hey Jude by the Beatles and she was impressed and joined in on
the na ne na nas. We also did Wake Up
Little Susie and Bird Dog by the Everly
Brothers, and many others. I remember that we did We Can Work It
Out
by The Beatles as a duet and Karen commented, "The flip side, Day
Tripper, was about hookers." I also remember singing Listen To
What The Man Said by Paul McCartney & Wings and Karen commented,
"Paul wrote that one about Jesus / God." And
after singing Dear Prudence by The Beatles, Karen commented about the
song being written about Mia Farrow. Helen Wheels being written
about Paul McCartney's car. Martha My Dear about Paul's sheep
dog. And Karen and I talked a bit about
remakes too. The Sgt. Pepper movie had just came out and there
were a lot of Beatle remakes in it, but Karen noticed that I wasn't too
interested in it and asked me up front, "Do you have a kind of shrine
built up around the Beatles' stuff, because I noticed that you tend to
like their versions over everyone else's?" And I was like, "Not
really, but it is one of those things where I like something different,
more personal or whatever, and not just a tempo change or such. I
like Aerosmith's Dream On and such, but I never really liked their
version of Come Together. It was just too much like the original
and kind of fell flat with me." And then I was like, "Here, I was
messing around with Strawberry Fields and I came up with some altered
lyrics." And the altered lyrics went like, "Let me spin you
'round while I'm sucking on, my blueberry bong, singing this song,
because I found what life is all about, blueberry bongs forever."
And Karen was like, "That's kind of interesting and I like it. Do
you smoke pot?" And I was like, "No, it would be just a waste
with me because I can't get stoned. I tried it and nothing, not
even a slight buzz." Karen was like, "I tried it too in college
by accident because I walked into a room where they had been smoking
pot and I got a buzz, but then I got the munchies for two days
afterwards and that was it for
me." And then I was like, "I messed around with Yesterday, what
the heck." And then I started singing in my Paul voice, "I
masturbate, because the hour at hand is getting late, All my dinner is
still sitting on my plate, because I just need to masturbate."
And Karen just lost it and so did I because she laughed so hard she
almost fell over in her chair and her tea she was sipping on came out
of her nose. Karen was like, "You should warn me before you do
something like that. But thanks I really needed a good
laugh. I kind of understand what you mean now when you said you
like something a little different and not just a remake.
Something that makes it a little more personal or a different mood or
feeling. That kind of stuff." And I was like, "Yup.
You got it." Karen and I also took naps
together during lunch time (which
I think was 6th period). We both found out that we both drooled
in our
sleep. With that we started singing "Row row row your boat,
gently
down the stream..." And we also would stagger the singing so that
we
overlapped. After this Karen mentioned that she had a boat named
the
Lucia that took four crew to run it. She said she bought the boat
originally and named it after Lucille Ball, Lucy in the comic strip
'Peanuts', and the island of St. Lucia. Lucille Ball lived
and was
later buried in Jamestown which was about 150 miles from Corning.
(Much thanks to Sammy Bear [Jason] for reminding
me about Karen's boat in late October 2019. Karen used to babysit
Jason when he was younger). Another time (before I knew who she
was) I was
like, "My mom listens to the Carpenters and I know it's a girl's song,
but I'd like to try this one on you. Do you know Close to You by
the Carpenters?" And she was like, "Kind of. It sounds
interesting. I'd love to hear you give it a shot. It's
actually in your range." And before I sang it I looked at her
eyes and then I started kind of playing piano on the desk and going,
"Da da de duh, da de duh, da de da de da de duh". I changed "eyes
of blue" to "On the day that you were born the
angels got together and
decided to create the best around. So they sprinkled moondust in
your
hair and golden starlight in your eyes of brown"
and "All the girls in town" to "All the guys in town". I
said afterwards that her eyes were reddish brown, but that was a bit
too long so I shortened it to just brown. Karen was like, "When I
was born, I had reddish eyes and they almost thought I might be an
albino, but my eyes darkened up later. Sometimes I would get
called Evil Karen because of my reddish eyes and hair. When I was
about 8 or 9 years old my mom started dying my hair a darker color so
the other kids didn't pick on me as much. We didn't really have
much money at the time but my mom would sneak it in and then we would
sneak into the bathroom later. I learned to dye my own hair after
I got a little older. I always liked the
darker color because it frames my face better."
I was
like, "They
thought I was almost an albino too. I had platinum hair and
grayish eyes, but my eyes turned pale blue later on." She
liked my singing the song but she said she couldn't figure out how I
went from the long
close to you directly into the wahs without pausing to take a
breath. I explained to her that somehow I had learned to breathe
in through my nose while singing out of my mouth. And she was
like, "That's how. I never thought of trying that. Mind if
we try a duet on this one." And I was like, "Sure, I don't think
you could mess it up any worse than I did." And she was like,
"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I liked it. You did
a great job. You should be proud. It's not really a guy's
song you know." And then we dueted on Close To You with me doing
the guy lyric and her doing the original lyric. It was actually
really good. Karen and I harmonized well together. After
that I was like, "There's another Carpenters song I think I know that
has some great harmonies called We've Only Just Begun. Do you
want to try that?" And she was like, "It has some tempo changes,
but I think I can do it. Why not? We can at least give it a
shot." So we did We've Only Just Begun as well with full
harmonies together even on the verses. It was pretty good
considering there wasn't a bass or drums to fill in the gaps so we kind
of drummed on the desks which helped. We also tried Yesterday
Once More but I was weak on the lyrics so it wasn't as good as the
others we did. Also, a few times I started
singing, "I say goodbye to love"
and then I dropped down an octave and sang, "And say hello to
horny".
Karen laughed a few times when I did it, but then she said, "Could you
stop doing that goodbye to love thing, I almost sang it that way on
stage." Honest, it was in September or
October 1978 and I didn't know it was actually her. Usually
either I sang by myself or we dueted. I don't actually remember
her singing by herself. We sang some Buddy Holly - That'll Be The
Day, Oh Boy, Everyday and a
couple others. After we started singing together, we started
getting strong urges to make out together. The dueting lasted
maybe a month or two. We only sang together a few times, but she
loved Christmas and Christmas Carols. So during the month of
December (and I knew who she was by December), Karen and I sang a lot
of Christmas Carols together to keep in the Christmas spirit.
Including the messed up Batman version of Jingle Bells with "Jingle
Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the batmobile lost its wheels,
and the Joker got away, hey" only a couple times though. But we
did Silver Bells together several times and
Winter Wonderland several times too and probably
about every carol there was at one time or another. Then after
Christmas, Karen told me she needed to rest her voice for the studio,
so we didn't really sing much in 1979.
Also,
later in the school year Karen came in and was all
excited. We were doing similes, metaphores and puns and Karen had
got
permission from her brother and such to use "I Need To Be In Love" as
an example. Karen handed me a copy of the lyric sheet and was
just so
excited. She was like, "This is my favorite song to sing. I
begged
Richard and John over the phone to use this in the class and they said
I
could.
I have them on speed dial anyway. The problem was getting a hold
of Albert Hammond who is the guy that did that train song that
you sing once in a while." And I was like, "Sounds pretty
cool. You know I like that I'm a ch ch
train song (and I changed it into a kind of old McDonald remake with
stuff like I'm a duck, I'm a quack quack duck. I'm a cow, I'm a
moo moo cow and like that. Cool song)." And Karen was like,
"He sent me a letter back that said it was all right to use the song
for educational purposes and that I really didn't need his permission,
but he was glad that I asked anyway. It has all of these
references in it. What do you think of
it?" And I
was like, "I like the pocketfuls [note, I did
say pocketfuls and not pockets full] of good
intentions, hanging on a hook
[instead of hope intentionally] and a few of the other references, the
song will definitely work with
what we're doing in class. But you know how guys are with that
love
word. About the only time guys use the love word is if they are
horny
and trying to get laid." And I started kind of laughing.
And Karen
kind of tapped me on the head with her stack of papers and said, "You
goof. I hadn't thought about that as a guy's perspective.
That is
kind of funny. I appreciate your feedback on this.
Thanks. I was kind of nervous about it and I needed a good
laugh. I'll
see you in class later."
XVI. Dancing lessons
Another time, I mentioned
to my teacher that we
had been
doing dance lessons in gym class. I know
that this definitely happened before I knew she was Karen
Carpenter. On
that day in gym class, we
did the Charleston
with the hands on the knees and all that. She was like, "Sounds
like
fun, I'm not really that good of a dancer. I have two left feet,
but
I'll put my flats on and you can show me." I was like, "OK.
Don't worry
about it. I can dance on the bottoms and you can dance on the
tops of
our two left feet if you want." So she changes her shoes under
the desk and then
stands up and we do the Charleston together as I'm explaining how to do
it. Then we did the Mashed Potato, the Swim, the Crawl, the
Twist, and
a few others. I think we even did a waltz without touching each
other,
"1,2,3,2,2,3,3,2,3,1,2,3..." Then we started improvising and did
the
Rinse Cycle, the Agitator, the Spinner, the Bunny Hop, the Tug of War,
and a few other off the wall kind of things including the Hokey
Pokey.
As luck would have it, the principal was giving a tour to a grammar
school class and they
had
gathered outside the door while we were doing this. Karen looked
over and saw people there and Karen just darted to her chair behind her
desk and put her head down on her folded arms on her desk. The
people
at the door clapped and I scooted around in my chair and sat
down.
Karen had her head down and said, "Are they gone yet? I'm so
embarrassed." with her head still down in her arms. I said, "You
look
like an ostrich. I
think
they liked you. I think you may have a fan club, but yup, they're
gone." And then Karen lifts her head
up and everyone claps again then everyone leaves from the door.
Karen put her
head back down in her arms and was like, "I'll get you for this."
And
I was like, "I know you'll get even with me, but I still had a lot of
fun while it lasted." And she was like, "Me too, but I'm still
going
to get you for this." And finally I was like, "Honestly, they're
gone
now." And she lifted her head up and had a big smile on her
face. For
the next few weeks I cleaned the chalkboard and the erasers and
such.
We both had a lot of fun, and she got to relax for a couple weeks
too.
We honestly danced really well together and we were both light on our
feet. This was when I realized that Karen really was very body
conscious about herself. Karen's body consciousness seemed to
stem
from her not wanting to send a wrong message and attract a guy she was
not interested in. Karen was not really one to 'show off' so to
speak. OK, actually, Karen and I were doing the Hokey Pokey Dance
and we had got to the part of “You put your butt cheeks in, you put
your butt cheeks out, you put your butt cheeks in and you shake them
all about, you do the Hokey Pokey…” and they showed up at the door just
as Karen turned around doing ‘butt cheeks’. Karen wasn’t really
that shy or modest; it was just a bit awkward with 4th or 5th graders
and the principal standing at the door while singing about butt
cheeks. The principal and the kids liked it and the principal
even commented about “progressive education” as the principal had a big
smile on his face as he knew he caught us in an awkward situation and
Karen was embarrassed. Karen also felt that guys liked thin women
because in high
school, Karen noticed that the boys there always seemed to ask out the
skinny girls. Karen also said she was a "late bloomer" and she
felt
awkward at times in high school. And I was like, "Well, I guess
those
guys missed out on a lot of fun chasing after skinny girls that look
nice but usually aren't much fun to be around. I guess that's why
I
seem to always be attracted to tomboys that like mud pies. I
would
rather have a lot of fun than worry about what I looked like or what
she looked like. Being popular ain't always what it's cracked up
to
be. It's nice having people around and such, but it's nice being
able
to relax once in a while too. But then too, if you look too good,
usually people are too afraid to talk to you because others feel they
aren't good enough. Most people are pretty messed up. I'm
glad we're
not like that." And she was like, "You can say that again.
The grass
is always greener on the other side is the shorter version of what you
just said." And I was like, "I like my grass the way it is.
They use
some funny smelling fertilizer on the other side. Sure, it looks
nicer, but is it really worth it? But enough about fertilizer,
has
anyone told you lately how beautiful you really are inside and
out?"
And Karen just started crying and she said, "Sorry, but I know when you
just said I was beautiful right now that I know you really meant
it."
And I was like, "You know I do." And then she said, "Here, you
need a
tissue too. Thank you. I needed to hear that from you
finally." And
I was like, "Me too. I usually think it but I don't say
it." And she
was like, "I know. We probably ought to head to the bathroom and
clean
ourselves up before others see us like this." And we left and
came
back to the room after cleaning up a bit. Things happen.
XVII. The pranksters
and Little Sneak and 'secrets'
Karen and I had an early
history of being pranksters at the
school. We would each pull some prank on each other. From
rubber frogs, rubber snakes, plastic spiders, a rubber bat, a rubber
chicken (not from me),
mexican jumping
beans, and even a rubber shark in her desk drawers to her putting silly
string in my locker. The rubber animals weren't really the
problem as much as the sexually suggestive positions these rubber
animals were placed in with each other. Karen even nicknamed one
of the frogs "Petey" and she would say, "Oh Petey, I had no
idea." And then Karen would start laughing. Karen had a
step cousin named Peter who had a sister named Wendy but Peter also
married
a woman named Wendy as well. So Karen had two step cousins named
Wendy
with the same last names because Peter's sister was single and not
married. Karen was staying with Wendy the sister. Karen
would start laughing because Peter was a very normal business executive
type but Petey the Frog was definitely something else. Whoopee
cushions.
Fake poop and fake
puke. I would turn all of her books in her
book rack upside down. I would tape a
'kiss
me' sign on her back
and she would tape a 'kick me' sign on my back.
My original 'pet
name' of sorts from Karen was 'little sneak'. Anytime some prank
got pulled, Karen would be going, "Where is that little sneak.
I'll get him back." and people would start laughing because they knew
that I, Ace, was 'little sneak'. Karen had always talked about
how she was good at and how she enjoyed playing practical jokes on
others. But Karen never mentioned anything about someone "getting
her back" that I knew about. But my big prank came when
Karen and I were just kind of
goofing around one day and flipping a coin and going "heads or
tails". It was a nickel and towards the end I managed to get the
nickel to land on the edge leaning up against her book so it was
technically a draw because it wasn't heads or tails. After this I
took the nickel and I said, "You would be surprised how difficult it is
because you need a lot of coordination to take this nickel and run it
down the middle of your face like this." And then I took the
nickel and started at the top of my forehead and went down under my
chin down the middle of my face. Secretly, under my desk, without
Karen seeing, I had taken another nickel and colored around the edge
with a pencil. After I did the nickel down my face with my left
hand, I handed Karen the nickel that had been colored from my right
hand to Karen. And Karen ran the nickel down the middle of her
face and she said, "Actually, this was easier than I thought. I
figured that I would either go to one side or the other because you
almost have to look cross-eyed to do this. That's kind of
neat." And I was keeping a straight face as best as I could as
she now had a large black racing stripe down the middle of her face and
onto her neck. And then I said, "Well, you did it.
Congratulations. Keep the nickel and I'll see you later."
So I left the room and went to get my books at my locker and I kept
trying not to bust out laughing. This was during fifth period
lunch I believe. I made a point to stop by her room and see how
she was doing and if she'd figured it out yet between sixth and seventh
periods. Karen had a couple friends visiting her. Karen
introduced them as Gertrude (or Trudy played by I believe Olivia Newton
- John) and Loretta (played by I believe Dionne Warwick). Of
course Karen was Wendy (played by I believe Karen Carpenter). And
of course there was a big secret as far as not telling Wendy about the
racing stripe down the middle of her face. And Trudy and Wendy
talked about how they had a secret where only Trudy and Wendy knew who
this famous well-known actor was that was trying to get Trudy, but
Trudy managed to get out of it so the actor didn't score with
Trudy. Trudy didn't tell Wendy, but Wendy
guessed it. Trudy and Wendy were about the
same age whereas Loretta
was about ten years older and sometimes Loretta would kind of feel a
bit out of place like a 'third wheel' or such. Loretta had been
around a bit longer in the business so Trudy and Wendy looked up to
Loretta too. Wendy and Loretta had rough exteriors in their
personalities whereas Trudy didn't really have that rough
exterior. So Wendy and Loretta were fairly protective of
Trudy.
Trudy also had to sit on a cushion because Trudy had recently cracked
her
tail bone. And a joke too because most of
us were born with a cracked
'bum' and it was about time that Trudy had a crack in her bum too like
the rest of us. And of course a joke from me, "Do you know why
your bum is cracked vertical instead of horizontal? So that when
you slide down the stairs you don't go blblblblblbl (say the letter B
and move your index finger up and down your lips to make the
blblblblblbl sound)". A good laugh can many times help ease the
pain.
Trudy was also talking with Wendy as Trudy had found a
nice
guy that was 10 years younger than her. Wendy had a nice guy in
the
room who was 15 years younger so Wendy and Trudy had a bit to talk
about between themselves. And
they were all
laughing and having a good old time and I believe Loretta pulled me
over off
to the side and asked, "Did you do that to her face?" And I said,
"Shhh,
yeah, I did. It's only pencil so it will wipe off." And
Loretta said something like, "I know she
likes to play practical jokes on people and this is priceless.
This is just too funny. She is in rare form today. I am so
enjoying this. I'm not going to tell. Don't tell
her now because I'm enjoying this, but you definitely need to tell her
later before she finds out from someone else." And Loretta was on
the one side and Wendy was on the other side and Gertrude was in the
middle behind Karen's desk so that no one could get direct access to
Gertrude without getting passed Wendy or Loretta. Date
bait. Put the cute girl in the middle to draw in the cute
guys. Guys do the same thing, only with guys it is called the
'lieutenants' who are there to screen the girls to see who might be
good enough for 'Mr. Perfect'. From 1989 to 2004, I was a hunk
and I used to walk around town without my eyeglasses on and I had at
least 5 or 6 offers from guys to be my lieutenant during that
time. I never accepted any of the offers, but that never stops
them anyway. "To get to him, you've got to get passed me."
"To get to her, you've got to get passed me." It works both
ways. Date bait. I went to reach around and tap Gertrude to
get her
attention to not tell Wendy, but I accidentally bumped Loretta and
Loretta asked something like, "What are you doing?" And I was
like, "I was going to ask Trudy not to tell Wendy about the mark on her
face." or something like that, and Loretta said, "Don't worry, I'll
make sure she doesn't tell her." And then Loretta said something
like, "Of all the times I have been around guys, all of the guys have
always made a bee line for Trudy, but I noticed that you aren't
interested in Trudy but you sure have eyes for Wendy. You really
like Wendy, don't you?" And I was like, "I like tomboys and mud
pies and I'm not much for girly girls. Trudy seems to be nice and
all, but Trudy's not my type. Wendy's just my type. Wendy
knows she's my type too." And sometime during this Dionne said
something like, "I think we're using the wrong
bait to catch you. I think we ought to move Wendy in the middle
to catch you. This is getting confusing,
you know who we are,
right?" And I was like, "Yeah, I know you're Dionne Warwick and
that's Olivia Newton - John and Karen Carpenter is my teacher. I
think I'm still Ace but I'll have to ask Karen about that." And
Dionne kind of laughed and was like, "You're funny like someone else I
know and I can see a definite attraction between you two. I know
those puppy dog (I think she said puppy dog but not sure) eyes and I
feel like I need to give you some advice now. If you love her,
tell her how you feel. I know you're a guy and girls like hearing
that kind of stuff from guys. Make sure she knows. Tell her
every chance you get." or something like that. It was good
advice. And I think I said something kind of smart alecky and
Dionne kind of laughed about it. I think I said something along
the lines of Karen and I sharing our feelings would make a sailor and a
porn star blush or something like that. And then I went over to
Karen and Karen kind of said in my ear,
"This has been a really great day. Everybody has been laughing
and joking and having a great time. I'm not sure what it is, but
everybody has been happy around me today for some reason after lunch
ended." And I whispered back, "I think you're being happy is
contagious. Keep it up. I'll see you later." and then I was
like, "Nice meeting you" and then I
left for class. This part is still a little sketchy, but a little
while later I heard a commotion and I had Olivia come over and get me
from my class across the hall. Karen had got jealous that Dionne
and I laughed together and Olivia had got between Karen and Dionne to
keep a physical fight from breaking out. Yes, Olivia can be one
tough bird when she needs to be. When I came into Karen’s
classroom, Karen had her arms straight out on the corners of her desk
and Karen said, “Don’t touch me. Don’t come near me. I’ll
be fine but before I kill you I need to hear from you what you and
Dionne talked about.” And I answered, “The first laugh was from
when we talked about the names and I told Dionne that I would have to
ask you if my name was still Ace. The second kind of laugh was
when I mentioned tomboys and mud pies. The third laugh was when I
told Dionne that if you and I shared our feelings about each other that
we would probably make a sailor and a porn star blush. We talked
about you was all.” And Karen was like, “Thanks. That’s
about what Dionne said was that you two were talking about me. I
can see your thoughts and I know what you told me is the truth.
I’ll be all right in a little bit but I got jealous and I had these
thoughts in my head that just didn’t seem right. Luckily it
popped into my head that Dionne had told me that she only liked dark
meat so my jealousy didn’t make sense. But I did get jealous and
I was ready to kill someone just a little bit ago as you
noticed.” And then Karen came out with something like, “You know
I was ready to kill you just now but I also know that you weren’t
scared.” And I said something like, “I know you were ready to
kill someone but as you know I can’t hurt you. If you were gonna
kill me, you were gonna kill me, but like always, if I can make you
feel better somehow, I’m gonna try and make you feel better even if you
need to kill me to feel better. The truth.” or something like
that. And after that I think I left and went back across the hall
(I am pretty sure it was during 7th period science class for me).
At the beginning of 8th period english class, one
of the girl students walked up to Karen's desk before I got there and
said, "How are you
feeling?" And Karen said, "I'm having a great day.
Everybody has been so happy. Why do you ask?" And the girl
said, "Miss Bihuniak, do you have a
compact?" And Karen said, "Yes." And the girl said, "I
think you ought to look at your face in the mirror. You'll
see." So Karen pulled out her compact and looked and at first I
could see anger in Karen's eyes and then Karen looked over at me, and
then Karen said in a low voice to me, "I thought you were up to
something. So this is what you were up to?" And I just
smiled and said, "Yup, honestly I was just going to tell you about it
but she beat me to it." in a low voice. And Karen went out into
the hallway and then Karen just
broke down and started laughing so hard that she literally sat down in
the hallway next to the wall. She was laughing so hard that she
couldn't stand up any more and she just started crying and laughing off
and on at the same time. And I went out
with her but I stayed back a little and then Karen just started talking
in her normal voice and started saying while she was crying and sitting
against the wall, "Thank you. I knew he was the one and I asked
you for a sign and I always knew it was going to be the one that got me
back for all the pranks I've pulled on others. Just look at my
face. [And she giggled] He got me good and I love him so
much. I just love him so much. [And Karen had her knees up
and her arms wrapped around her knees and her head buried in her arms]
I've waited so long for this to happen and thank you. Look at
me. I'm so happy that I'm crying. I just can't help it
because I've been through so much and I love him so much. Thank
you for bringing him into my life." And then one of the other
teachers helped
Karen stand up and get to the bathroom
finally so that she could touch her face up.
The teacher that helped her kept turning his face to the side so that
she didn't see him laughing because he knew how much Karen loved
practical jokes and he also knew that Karen could be a bit sensitive
about her appearance too and didn't want her to think he was laughing
at her appearance which he thought would have made her cry more.
Yes, for a
simple prank to pull off, this actually ended up being quite
complicated afterwards. And later that day during dismissal
homeroom Karen said to me, "Did you hear what I said in the
hallway?" And I said, "You know I can't lie to you and yes, I
heard every word you said." And then Karen said, "Well, now that
you know my secret what do you have to say for yourself?" And I
said, "You know I love you too but I never prayed for you, you just
happened. And as you can tell by the big smile on my face, I am
very glad that you've happened. I do pray though just not very
often. I remember
the one time I prayed that if He really existed that a 20 dollar bill
would fall out of the sky. Of course it didn't happen but then a
week later my mom told me that she had a twenty dollar bill just fall
out of the sky and land in front of her about a week before, so she
picked it up. I didn't really need the money or such; I was just
curious, but you know how my luck goes." And then Karen said, "You
should know by now that He has a good sense of humor. Just look
in the mirror. We're all funny looking in
our own ways. I know you really do love
me but you could really hurt someone's feelings
doing something like that. What if I had to be at an important
meeting at the last minute or whatever. Luckily I didn't.
You got me good. I'll admit that. I
should be furious about this right now, but I did ask for it in a way
as you heard out there in the hallway.
This one is going to be
tough to beat. I'll think of something though. You know
me. I am not a spoiled sport, but I can never admit
defeat." Karen pulled her own prank
back by saying, "Rest assured that I am going to teach you a lesson
that you'll never forget and I'm going to get even with you if it's the
last thing
I do." And then, of course, Karen didn't do anything for at least
a week. All in good fun. Seriously.
And who was the one that Karen told all of her inner most secrets
to? Mush? Lucky dog.
I taught Karen another prank too I think around mid January 1979.
The quarter and the funnel prank for those that know. Anyway, you
take a funnel and put it in the top of your pants and tell the other
person, "this is tougher than it looks". After the funnel is
positioned in the top of your pants then you take the quarter and place
it on your forehead while leaning your head back and then you bring
your head forward and the quarter usually drops into the funnel in the
top of your pants. I did this a little differently to teach Karen
the prank, but normally you would hand the funnel over to the other
person (the prankee) and of course you had a glass of water (preferably
with ice cubes) and when the other person positions the funnel and
leans their head back, you pour the water down the funnel and usually
the quarter goes flying somewhere and the pranker looks for a place to
hide after pouring the water in the funnel. Instead of the usual
way, I did it a second time and told Karen to pour the water
instead. Not sure if she ever pulled that one on someone else,
but I knew where she learned it from. The nice part is that the
pants and / or underwear dry fairly quickly in most cases (or would
have been a skirt in Karen's case but it was my pants which dried in
about a half hour).
But a little while after the
silly string in my locker, the pranking stopped between us. After
the silly string incident, the other kids were starting to think of
Karen and me as boyfriend and girlfriend. Not something you want
to hear about from a teacher and a student in a small area. So we
both decided to
call a truce and end the practical jokes on each other before Karen may
have got wrongfully accused of something which would be a serious
problem and not a prank. And it was probably the most weird
experience in either of our lives, because for both of us, Karen and
me, we actually had more fun being serious and
helping ourselves as well as others solve problems than
the fun we had from
making jokes and pulling pranks and such.
XVIII. Not nuts, butter
knives part 1
One time, I mentioned to my
teacher that someone had said they had seen
her put her finger down her throat to make herself puke and some of the
kids were talking about it and I overheard them talking but I didn't
say anything.
Honestly, my teacher said that it was true and said she had a problem
with feeling like she was fat. She also then said something in a
kind of concerned voice like, "Do
you think I'm nuts too?" And I was like, "No. Not at all.
You are definitely not fat or crazy. You stuck your finger down
your throat and it did not taste so good. My finger doesn't taste
too good either. No big deal. I
have a step uncle, Clary that stripped down naked because he thought it
made him invisible and then he got on my grandfather's kitchen table
and threatened to do everyone in with a butter knife. That's
nuts. They had to straight jacket him and take him away in a
rubber truck with bouncy walls inside. I don't think you're
nuts. But if you do go nuts
would you let me know because I think that would be quite a sight and I
like tomboys that aren't afraid to make
mud pies and such." And wouldn't you know it, just after we gave
each other big starry-eyed smiles, someone else walked into the room.
XIX. Still not nuts.
Butter knives part 2
Within a couple weeks of
the 'finger down the throat' talk, Miss
Bihuniak came in one morning and sat down in her chair all sad and
grumpy and
saying, "I guess I am not used to home cooking. I gained ten
pounds. I feel like a beached whale." I then looked at her
and then I looked to her left and right side, and then I looked
straight at her again and said, "I don't
see a water spout or fins yet. Are you sure you are turning into
a
beached whale? You look fine to me except maybe a little
grumpy." And she was like, "I gained ten pounds. I'm
fat. I was 94 pounds and now I am 104, what am I going to
do? I feel fat." And I was like, "I
probably gained ten pounds of muscle myself climbing up and down those
stairs, and now I probably need to go down those stairs again to the
cafeteria and grab
two butter knives." And she was like "Grab two butter knives for
what?" And I said, "Because you can exercise to lose fat, but I
am not sure how to lose muscle and I am probably going to drive myself
crazy trying to figure out how someone can lose ten pounds of
muscle. You are already a beached whale, so I figure if I get a
couple butter knives and clear off your desk, we can go crazy together
like my uncle Clary did." And she was like, "You're probably
right, I hadn't thought about going up and down the stairs and toning
up and gaining muscle and all that." And then I was like, "From
what I see, even though you are a beached whale now, you still look the
same as you did before. But it's not looks, but what's inside
that counts anyway and if there's some guy that can't see what a
wonderful person you are because of ten or even a hundred pounds, then
you're with the wrong guy." And she said, "There's no other
guy. No guys actually. Would you hurry up and go down to
the cafeteria and get those butter knives while I clear off the desk
and barricade the door?" And then I said, "There is someone
behind me, isn't there?" And she put her hand over her mouth to
keep from laughing out loud and shook her head yes. And then a
male teacher's voice, Mr. Baer, came from behind me saying, "Am
I interrupting
something?" and she was like, "No, come on in. We were just
sharing some jokes we heard to help start the day off right." And
I just went around her desk and sat in my chair with a big old smile on
my face while her and the other teacher talked about whatever (I think
it may have been about posing together for the school picture and not
really anything teacher/student/education related).
And at the end of the day, we talked again. She was actually mad
at first, And she said, "We needed to talk, why didn't you leave the
room?" And I was like, "You were so down in the dumps earlier, I
wanted to
make sure you were alright." And then it dawned on me, when her
and Mr. Baer were talking, she was kind of motioning me to leave the
room and I didn't. I was like, "You're mad at me, aren't
you? I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me. [and I'm
almost in tears now] I'm sorry. Is there any way I can make
it up to you. I can't handle you being mad at me. I'm
losing it, ain't I? I can't help it. I just wanted to make
sure you were all right." She was like, "It's OK, I smoothed it
over
anyway with him, but I need you to talk to him tomorrow." And I
was like, "OK, no problem. I'm really sorry. I didn't
realize because I was so worried about you earlier." Then her
face just exploded in a good way and she was just beaming and said, "We
just had our first argument." And I was like, "Hey, you're
right. You won that one by a long shot." And she was like,
"Max was the one that helped me to get my job here. I am very
grateful to Max because if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here
teaching. The school board was saying no because I have a drawl
in my voice and they were worried that you kids might start talking
funny.” And I was like, “Talkded funny. Us no talkded
funny. What am giveded them that darn foolded idears?
Surely not am us.” And then Karen continued, “Cute,
but don't let the school board hear you talking like that or they will
have me out of here. Max literally stood
up to the entire school board and
threatened to quit if they didn't hire me." Then she was like,
"Thanks
for earlier, I was feeling pretty down in the dumps." And I was
like,
"That's OK, I probably was a little grumpy myself. It
happens." Then she said, "If I did have a boyfriend, would you
get jealous?" And I was like, "Nah, I am not the jealous type
really. I like people being happy and jealous people never seem
to be happy. Just one of my many quirks I guess. Do you
have anyone in mind?" And she said, "Max has someone else."
And I was like, "Do you want me to try and steal her away from
him?" And she was like, "You would wouldn't you?" with a giggle
in her voice. And I was like, "In a heartbeat." And she was
like, "Max is nice and all, but he really isn't my type." And she
was like, "As far as the jealousy, I was just checking
just in case, but I kind of noticed that you aren't looking for anyone
either." And I was like, "If it happens, it happens, but every
time I try to make something happen it always seems to fall
apart." She was like, "Me too. I know what you mean."
Then she continued, "Well if something happens, I hope I don't get
jealous. You are a really wonderful person too." And I was
like, "Helping you feel better helps me feel better too you know.
I'm not exactly a ray of sunshine myself most of the time if you
haven't noticed. I do always try to make the best of it though
and I was really glad that I was there for you this morning. Are
you feeling better now?" She was like, "Much better. Thanks
again. We probably ought to get going before people start to
wonder where we are. I am staying with my cousins and they can
get kind of worried sometimes." And I was like, "Yeah, my parents
are that way too if I'm not home by a certain time. See you
tomorrow. Glad you are feeling better again and don't worry, if
you need privacy or whatever, just ask and I'll go to the bathroom or
whatever." And we just
both packed up our stuff and left for the day. Side note too, at
around 116 pounds, Karen would start developing what is known as a
‘double chin’.
And with that side note, Karen and I wouldn’t usually eat that much
during lunch time. Many times we would share stuff. It was
the middle of the day and we were both the active types so we would
usually have a decent breakfast, light lunch and then dinner
later. Of course breakfast and dinner were before and after
school, so we usually shared lunch together. Most times, I would
pick up a couple milks and Karen would sip on her tea. On
occasion we might share an ice cream sandwich or like the one time when
I got a Reggie bar and we split it in half for something different to
try. Karen used to eat a lot of sweets when she was younger but
her tastes had changed a little and she liked salads and such
now. At times, Karen would send me down to the cafeteria to pick
up her salad that she made for lunch. Usually a caesar type salad
with iceberg lettuce that she made at her step cousin Wendy’s house and
brought into work with her. Karen would always brush and floss
her teeth after she ate. She used the regular dental floss as she
wasn’t much for that minty stuff. I think it was the green color
more than the taste. I think Karen was worried that if she used
green colored dental floss that her teeth might start turning
green. But Karen always had spindly arms and legs as far as her
wrists and forearms and her ankles and calves were always thin. I
saw Karen weigh at least 136 pounds and she still had thin wrists,
forearms, calves and ankles. But you could tell if Karen was
trying to lose weight mostly in her face. You could start seeing
Karen’s jaw bone and her cheek bones become more visible when she was
trying to lose weight. You could also start seeing the bones
around Karen’s eyes sticking out more and her eyes would look like they
were sinking more. I would talk about “chipmunk cheeks (yes, it
sounds much better than chubby cheeks)” and how most people that looked
younger tended to have chipmunk cheeks. You know, like Chip and
Dale with those chubby little cute cheeks that people just wanted to
pinch. Chipmunk cheeks. And of course Karen and I would
puff out our cheeks on occasion to show off those chipmunk
cheeks. Karen would also joke around about being Bucky Beaver
with buck teeth in the front. Her front teeth really weren’t that
much bigger, but she had fun with it. Karen and Richard both had
slight overbites which was part of their unique sound too. And a
few
times Karen tried pony tails too but she was
getting older so a pony tail wouldn’t last too long in her hair.
Pony tails work for little girls, but middle aged women it looks a
little off even with chipmunk cheeks. But Karen never really had
big ankles or calves or forearms or wrists. Karen would usually
gain weight on the back of her biceps and her thighs and her butt and
her mid section, but not on her wrists, forearms, calves or
ankles. And again, Karen would start developing a double chin at
around 116 pounds and Karen would drop her chin down towards her chest
and feel that little ridge under her chin. And climbing three
flights of stairs while carrying a shopping bag with knitting needles
and her purse and teaching stuff every day helped tone things up a
bit. Most of the time that I knew Karen, she weighed at least 100
pounds, but she did slip a couple times below 100, but she didn’t stay
there too long and it was only a couple times. Most of the time
Karen kept busy thinking about her teaching and not as much about how
she looked or how much she weighed or such. And that was why
Karen was glad that she was keeping busy doing something to keep her
mind occupied instead of just taking time off. And Karen staying
with her step cousin Wendy was a nice change of pace for Karen
too. Karen’s personality (and mine too) liked going overboard and
being extreme. Wendy, like Karen’s mom and Richard, was a good
and steady anchor for Karen and Karen was a breath of fresh air for
Wendy too.
XX. What's in a name?
Adrian
Clair? Maximilian Adalbert?
The next day, Mr. Baer
stopped over and I was like, "Sorry about
yesterday Mr. Baer, Miss Bihuniak was having a rough morning and I was
worried about her being down in the dumps. I should have left so
that you and her could talk privately but I didn't. I'm
sorry. I'll try not to let it happen again." And Mr. Baer
was like, "That's all right my boy, just water under the bridge, we
talked later anyway. You can call me Jethro if you want, everyone
else does around here. I just have that goofy voice." And I
was like, "I like Mr. Baer better. More distinctive. You're
a really nice person and deserve a bit of respect even with your goofy
voice." And Mr. Baer said, "I have a really goofy middle name
too. What's your middle name?" And Miss Bihuniak starts
laughing off to the side. And I said, "Clair." And Mr. Baer
said, "Clair, that's a girl's name, I think you got me beat on that
one." And I was like, "It's the boy's spelling without the e at
the end. And my real first name is Adrian which makes me sound
like a hair dresser or something, which is why I go by Ace." And
Miss Bihuniak is laughing so hard that she is kind of bending over a
bit with her hand over her mouth. And then Mr. Baer said, "My
middle name is Adalbert, Maximilian Adalbert Baer Junior." And I
was like, "My full name is Adrian Clair Downing the third, hair
dresser. I think it's a tie." And Miss Bihuniak just lost
it and laughed out loud after that one. And Mr. Baer was like,
"Thanks Ace, I think that was a tie if you say so. Now if you
don't mind, Karen
and I have some things we would like to discuss again about the
upcoming school pictures, and so if you don't mind?" And I was
like, "No problem, I think I have to go to the bathroom anyway."
So I went to the bathroom and when I came back, the door was still
closed, so I just waited outside and sat by the door. Later,
after school, me and Karen talked about it and she said thanks.
The talk from Karen kind of went, "Thanks for earlier, Max can be a
real handful at times, but you handled it really well and so did
Max
really. You really don't get jealous do you?" And I was
like, "No. I can't. I only want you to be happy even if it
means you are with someone else. I'm sorry, but I can't be
jealous over you. I only want you to be happy. Being
jealous wouldn't make you happy. I just can't be jealous over you
even if you wanted me to be. I just can't. It isn't in me
to be jealous over anyone." And she had a big smile on her face
and said, "You just kind of reminded me of a guy I knew in high school
named Norm (I think she said Greenfield but not sure, nope, it was
Friedlander). Norm
always smiled when he was around me and I often wondered if he had a
crush on me. Norm always had this big smile on his face whenever
I saw him. I could be having a rough day and somehow just seeing
Norm smile made me feel better somehow... You're such a
sweetheart. I hope you never
change." So yeah,
anyway, I had Karen Carpenter for homeroom and english class, and Max
Baer Jr. (me and Max have the same birthday, December 4) for science
class. Quite a year in
eighth grade.
XXI. Cousin Patti and
piano lessons
But a while after school
started and such, a girl I knew from piano
lessons outside school came into homeroom with just me and my teacher
there. My teacher had told me that her first name was "Wendy" as
a couple other teachers had called her Wendy.
I always called her Miss Bihuniak anyway at this time as
she was still my teacher, but it was still nice to know that her first
name wasn't Miss. She asked me to call her Wendy once,
so I did and it just didn't sound right, so I went back to calling her
Miss Bihuniak. The girl that came into
homeroom was Patti Carpenter, who I took piano
lessons
with. Anyway, Patti comes rushing in the room and says something
like, "Karen, I think I found my car. Look." And then my
teacher and I both look at Patti with a concerned look, and then Patti
says, "That's just Ace, we took piano lessons together. She's my
cousin Ace. Her name is Karen. I ain't going to call her by
her teacher name or whatever." And then Patti was talking to my
teacher, her cousin, and Patti was just so excited. And Patti was
saying that my teacher had said she would help Patti get a car, and the
car in the paper had low mileage, was nearby, wasn't expensive,
and... And while Patti was talking, my teacher was talking about
the conditions like Patti doing her chores, and keeping her grades up,
and such. And while my teacher was doing this I was kind of
contributing things like, "A car is a big responsibility. Are you
ready to take on the responsibility of taking care of a car? What
if something goes wrong?" And Patti said something like, "Ace,
you're weird. You are sounding like my dad." and when Patti
looked back at me to say this, my teacher motioned her arms and
mouthed, "Keep it up. Keep it up" and then Patti turned back
around and my teacher had this straight, concerned face when Patti
turned around. And a few
other comments about responsibility and such too from both myself and
my teacher, who just smiled at
me after I put my two cents in. Patti went from being the excited
kid to sounding a bit more serious and responsible. More like an
adult would be. My teacher then asked Patti to
pick up the phone on the wall and ask for an outside line and give the
number to dial out to see if the car was still available. After
Patti called on the car, my teacher said something like, "Patti, you're
going to be late for school, shouldn't you be going? We'll look
into the car later after school." So then Patti said her thank
yous and such and left for school (I was in eighth grade middle
school. Patti was in tenth grade high school across the
river and about ten minutes away by car, let alone walking).
After Patti left, I looked at my teacher with a straight
face and just said, "They just grow up so fast." And we both
laughed as it was one of those 'proud parent' type moments between us
that we hadn't thought about having. Also, after laughing and
such, my teacher asked me not to tell people her first name was Karen,
which was fine with me. I had a suspicion after this, Karen and
Patti Carpenter?, but nothing
definite and I was happy having a nice homeroom teacher that wasn't
afraid to talk
about stuff whatever that stuff may be. I also can't remember for
sure, but I think my teacher said something like, "I probably ought to
give her a ride, she won't make it to school on time." And then I
think Karen may have left and asked me to keep an eye on things until
she
got back but I am not totally sure about that now. As Patti was
getting older she preferred Patricia, but when someone doesn't act
older, Patti works too. As far as piano lessons, Patti and I had
Mrs. Kelly as a piano teacher together. I originally started
taking piano lessons from my mom's cousin, Linda Jimerson, but Linda
was losing a battle with cancer and was unable to teach anymore.
Linda was the piano teacher that taught me about acronyms where you
take the first letter of different words and make a new word from that
only in reverse order. Eat A Good Breakfast Daily or EAGBD and if
you know the 'ring of fifths' from music theory 101 then...
XXII. Being spoiled.
Not for us. Seriously
Probably one of the most
thoughtful talks we had was after I said that
I drank a lot of milk. Then the word 'spoiled' came out.
Then my teacher talked about having an older brother and I talked about
having a younger sister. And then I talked about how I had
recently been grounded for not doing my social studies / history
homework lately and my television, record player, and such were taken
away for a week, but only ended up being three or four days. I
then talked about how I didn't want to end up 'spoiled' like my sister
and although I took the stuff back, I still didn't use the stuff for
about a week after I got it back. I did most of the talking this
time, but my teacher did talk a little. But I started being very
profound talking about 'spoiled'. Stuff
like, "A spoiled person becomes
'sour' (like sour milk that is spoiled) when they do not get what they
want. Spoiled 'brats' throw fits when they do not get what they
want. A
fit or 'tantrum' is a burst of anger from someone to try and get what
they want by being obnoxious until they get what they want. A
very bad
habit to develop." I told my teacher about my sister behaving
'spoiled'
and that I did not want to be like that. "Spoiled people do not
seem to
appreciate what they have and always seem to want more. And more
never
seems to be enough. Myself, personally, not the way I want to go
through life. Throwing a fit every time I did not get what I
wanted or
'my way'. Many times I feel it is better to go without. You
would be
surprised what a little imagination could do. Intangibles (can
not be
seen or touched) versus tangibles (can be seen or touched).
Intangibles
won. Stuff is just stuff. Thoughts are thoughts. Take
away everything
tangible, but the intangibles still remain." But
it was through this
discussion that me and my teacher (sorry again, my english teacher and
homeroom
teacher and I, not me and my teacher, even though it was me and my
teacher both realizing...) both realized that we could not really
change others, only ourselves (grammar demons can't be changed either
and are also included somehow in the 'others' category).
Accepting
people for who they really are,
faults included. Myself, being a people, included also.
Through this
talk we had, both myself and my teacher realized that many times we
learn what we like and dislike through others. Big brother,
little
sister included. Parent, child included. Teacher, student
included. And
this talk between us led to me (and my pen name Confusion) saying, "You
can't have it all. Where would you put it?". If you have a little
patience, things tend to work out eventually. If you do not have
patience, you are becoming 'spoiled'. We all have our own choices
to
make, just as others have their choices too. Spoiled or not
spoiled.
Choices remain. And at the end of this discussion that we had, my
teacher (who was unmarried) definitely made her choice as she said, "If
only you were a little older because I don't want to go through that
growing up stuff all over again." What else could I say other
than, "Me
too." And as usual, we both smiled at each other and waited for
the
other kids to show up for homeroom. I usually made stupid jokes
and stuff, so this 'spoiled' discussion that became very thoughtful and
introspective was a shock to both of us. At the end my teacher
said, "as far as content, that was definitely an A+, but as far as
presentation, I would have given it a B+ or a B. You talked about
all of these great ideas and such, but you really didn't seem to have
any emotion or feeling when you talked about them. Your talk was
almost like primal therapy without anything therapeutic in it.
Still
a great talk and maybe I can work some of that stuff into my class
discussions, but it seemed like you were on the verge of a major life
changing breakthrough and then you just kind of fell flat at the
end." And, as usual, Karen was right. I didn't emphasize
that emotions and feelings are intangibles too and not just
thoughts. That was why this talk fell flat at the end.
And a little while after our serious 'spoiled' talk, we had another
serious talk. I just came out with, "Did you ever notice that
when someone is trying to use someone that they start talking bad about
everyone else but themselves?" And Karen was like, "I haven't
really thought about it that way, but maybe you're on to something
there. Go ahead. Shoot. Sounds interesting. I'm
all ears." So I was like, "I've kind of noticed that those that
talk bad of others hang around together and don't really talk much to
others. Cliques as you called it before I think. Anyway,
I've kind of noticed that some people try to isolate people from others
by talking bad about others. That's kind of why if you notice, I
don't really feel too comfortable around people that talk bad of
others. I've noticed too that you are kind of the same way and
that you're not too comfortable around those that talk bad about others
either. And anyway, I just kind of realized why I don't feel
comfortable around those kinds of people. I mean a little talk
here and there because no one's perfect, but there are some that get
down right mean about it. Those kind of people." And Karen
was like, "I know I can get jealous at times, is that what you are
trying to talk about?" And I was like, "Nope. I hadn't even
thought of that. That's kind of different and I understand on
that. Really, most guys are turned off by tomboys and such, not
me. You know me. I like..." And of course Karen and I
both say, "Tomboys and mud pies" together. And then I was like,
"I think our parents kind of trained us to beware of those kinds of
people because probably they went through it themselves. They
were probably taught by their parents and maybe even personal
experience; you know how it goes. I think it's good advice.
You know, someone keeps saying how great they are and then leaves you
flat for someone else that they think is better. They use you
until something they feel is better comes along. But I think in
order to use someone, you have to make it so they don't talk to anyone
else, so that's where I think they learn the bad mouthing from.
That's why I think our parents taught us to beware of others that talk
bad about others. You know, if you don't have nothing nice to say
then it is better to say nothing at all. That kind of
stuff. I mean everyone can have problems, but there are some that
just seem to constantly bad mouth others, you know what I mean?"
And Karen was like, "This is interesting. Yeah, I know what you
mean. Like you, if you've noticed, I kind of avoid those types of
people too. That's kind of why I've had you stay up here with me
during lunch so that Max kind of leaves me alone. And that was
actually my kind of turn off with Max. He has that goofy voice
which was all right, you can get used to it, but a lot of times I just
kind of started feeling lonely around him but I just couldn't figure
out why. But feeling lonely is never any fun especially when
you're with someone." And I was like, "I know what you mean
and I agree. I don't feel lonely around you but also, we don't
really talk bad about others too. I think that kind of
helps. I mean you can be by yourself and not feel lonely but when
you get those feelings around someone else it usually means trouble
down the road somewhere. I've kind of noticed that those that bad
mouth others are usually very controlling people and I've noticed that
you and your brother tend to work together on things so I think you're
used to working together with someone and not used to being controlled
if that makes any sense." And Karen was like, "That makes sense,
I mean me and my brother never dated or whatever, but I'm just so used
to working with my brother that it feels awkward around others.
It's weird too because for some reason I've never felt awkward around
you either. But the other weird part is that me and my brother
are kind of opposites, but you and me are almost exactly alike. I
haven't been able to figure that part out yet." And I was like,
"Me neither. Me and my sister aren't really alike either, but my
sister can get kind of stubborn and head strong at times so we don't
really work together too well most of the time. I try sometimes,
but just the way it is I guess." And then Karen and I just looked
at each other and then we both said at the same time, "I can't figure
it out either. Everyone's different I guess." Then we both
kind of packed up and left for the day.
Another time, Karen brought up that her and Richard had done an
interview for a magazine and during the interview, the interviewer said
that the cameras were off when in fact they weren’t. It was
supposed to be a private talk, off camera, but ended up being a slight
mess. The interviewer had asked Richard and Karen how they
thought about some of the new groups coming out and Richard and Karen
brought up Mott The Hoople and noted that it wasn’t their kind of music
as it was not melodic nor harmonic and was just not something that the
Carpenters were into doing themselves. Note also, Richard was a
big Frank Zappa fan too. The Mott The Hoople interview was kind
of chopped up a little and stuff taken out of context of a talk that
was supposed to be private anyway. Phone calls to the Carpenters’
manager and it was just a big headache. That was when Karen and
Richard realized and decided that ‘publicly’ they would not say
anything in a bad context that could possibly be taken the wrong
way. Keep things positive as best as possible and try and avoid
anything that could be seen as being negative. But yes, lesson learned
as things were taken out of context on comments that were supposed to
be “off the record” anyway and a big lesson about those that make
controversy for others by not being honest themselves and some people
can be really sneaky. If you don’t say anything negative, there
is nothing to
take out of context and things that are meant to be private stay
private. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, it is better to
say nothing at all. What you do in your house is your business.”
as Karen would say. But after that, Karen and Richard knew better
than to trust others when being public. By themselves was fine,
but when others were around watch what you say that could be taken the
wrong way. Be positive and avoid anything negative. And
yes, with negative experiences as far as Karen’s therapy sessions and
such, Karen was not wishing to talk publicly about anorexia or
arrhythmia or bulimia or ‘slimmers disease’ or such. Karen was
waiting until she had something positive to say about dealing with the
problem. As far as the therapy sessions and such, nothing
positive there as it was a real mess with therapists trying to twist
things around to try and get Karen and her family to fit into some mold
that just was not true, but Karen had a bit of success with keeping her
weight steady by only weighing herself once a week
from November 1982 to February 1983.
Karen’s family was not a family that was physically affectionate
publicly (hint, that stuff should be kept in the bedroom where it
belongs), however, the family were thinkers and not usually very
emotional. The family showed that they cared by being there for
someone and trying to help someone sort out their problem(s), not by
hugging and kissing and that kind of stuff that should stay in the
bedroom where it belongs. So yeah, nothing nice to say about
therapy sessions and such as that stuff really was not helping Karen at
all. Seriously, a hug was not going to help Karen stop worrying
about her weight. Even newspaper and tabloid articles saying that
Karen appeared to be sickly and very underweight was not going to help
Karen. Karen and her mom helped themselves and came up with a
plan where Karen only weighed herself once a week. By weighing
herself only once a week, Karen had started to stop worrying about her
weight and more about how she felt. For four months it was
starting to work and Karen was starting to feel better but
unfortunately, with the eating problems, somehow Karen had developed
diabetes along the way. With a sugar level of 1100 when she
passed away, Karen had definitely developed hyperglycemia (high blood
sugar) and because Karen did not really eat sweets and such, no one,
including Karen herself, had thought about Karen developing diabetes
until it was too late. No one to blame here as people were trying
to help, it just did not end as well as people were hoping. Karen
was winning over the anorexia bulimia (nervosa, whatever latin terms…)
but things just happened that people hadn’t thought about. No
real blame, just sh*t happens. And a side note here, Karen
believed in empathy not sympathy. Sympathy was for someone that
was pathetic and had given up. Empathy is for someone that keeps
trying. Karen was never one to give up and was always one to
encourage others to be better people and not give up on your/themselves.
And yet another time, Ev Wallace came in and Karen and her were talking
about the fan club and catching up on personal stuff together.
And Ev was kind of nervous and worried while she was talking. And
then Karen was like, "Ev, this isn't like you, what's wrong?" and Ev
just came out with a problem with the fan club and Karen started
raising her voice asking questions and then Max came over from across
the hall and Max was like, "I don't know why you keep her. She's
old and she's forgetful and... Sometimes you just need to cut your
losses and get rid of the dead wood" or something like that and Karen
was like, "Max, just go, I can handle this." And then Karen was
all upset and frustrated, which was why Karen raised her voice, because
it was at a school and not really much privacy to talk alone and Ev was
like, "You're going to fire me aren't you?" and Ev was almost in tears
and
then I looked over at Karen and then I spoke up and I was like, "Ev,
that was Max, Max don't know what he's talking about. How long
have you been working for Karen?" And Ev was like, "about
[whatever]
years I think, why? What good is that going to do me now?
She's going to fire me and then what am I going to do?" And I was
like, "That was Max that said that, not Karen and as you notice, Max
isn't in the room anymore. Karen never said she was going to fire
you. Sure, you made a mistake, but unlike most people, you have
owned up to that mistake. Most people would try to hide it and
get away with something. You're not trying to get away with
anything because you were honest and you made a mistake and you
admitted that. You can't buy honesty and think about it, if Karen
got rid of you she would have to try and train someone else and need to
worry if they were going to be honest or not. Karen already knows
you're honest and you're already trained and you care about what you're
doing or else you wouldn't worry like you do so much so why would Karen
want to get rid of you and take a chance with someone else?" And
Ev looked over at Karen and said, "Do you really mean it?" And
Karen smiled then she looked away from me over to Ev and was like, "I
couldn't have said it better myself. Like he said. I
couldn't replace you. We all make mistakes sometimes and you
haven't really made too many over the years. You are kind of
making up for it with this one, but then too, I think you are long
overdue because the odds of not making a mistake in [whatever] years
isn't
even thinkable. I can just write a check and you'll need to cash
it when you get back and put it in there to cover the difference.
Don't let Richard know though. You know how Richard can get about
money. I'm glad you came to me about this. It'll be just
our little secret, OK?" And Ev was like, "OK. Thank you
very much. I don't know what I was thinking. I should know
better than that. You and Richard have always been so good and
kind to me. I should know better. You're good
people." And Karen was like, "Us good people need to stick
together." I think the problem was that Ev
had got a deal on I believe
belt buckles so Ev had got a better quality buckle, but the shipping
charge was slightly more as the buckle was a little heavier. After
Ev left, Karen and I talked and Karen thanked me
for the speech I made. And then Karen said, "I know Max came over
because he could smell blood and I know how you get too and then you
actually surprised me. I figured that you were going to be like
Max, but instead of being a shark and going for blood, you were
actually caring and compassionate. And that is the thing, as you
know, in the business world, if you're caring, they tend to rip you to
shreds and call you weak if you care. The sea of sharks.
People in the business world tend to be uncaring and the first sign of
trouble, business people feed you to the sharks. It's easy to get
caught up in that mentality when you are around it all the time.
I noticed that you noticed too that I wasn't upset at her for making a
mistake or the money or any of that. I was upset because we
didn't have any privacy to talk about it and I saw that you picked up
on that after you started talking or else you wouldn't have said the
things that needed to be said. Ev is tone deaf
if you didn't notice so she hears talking but
she doesn’t know the difference between one voice or another which was
why I got frustrated and raised my voice. But people have
feelings and
there's more to life than money and I was so proud of you because you
realized that money can't buy honesty. After that speech you
gave, I let Ev off the hook. She's a good person and like I said,
us good people need to stick together. That's priceless and don't
let her know, but she's still got a few more mistakes she's paid for in
advance after this. It was just an oversight. Her heart’s
in the right place like someone else I know. She's such a
sweetheart." Karen also went to slip me a belt buckle for helping
out and I slid it back to her. Then I told Karen, “Remember our
heart to heart talk before. And remember when I told you the
reason why I didn’t wear a belt anymore. It was Bill’s mom (Bill
McKendrick was her son and was in the class) that was my third grade
teacher and I led the belt rebellion back in third grade because my dad
hit me with his belt and I wasn’t going to do that to my kids.
Thanks for the offer, but I don’t wear a belt and I don’t plan on it
either.” And Karen was like, “Fair enough.” And that was that.
[Not sure when either so I will stick it here] I believe at
some time Mr. Eugene Klein (Gene Simmons), a former teacher himself,
was at the school. Very wonderful person and he was good with
kids and fairly talkative. I also have a feeling that when he
said his name, Eugene, it kind of took me by surprise as he has that
deep, manly voice and Eugene just came out smooth so it sounded kind
of different and unexpected when he said it. I was expecting
something like Jack or whatever with his deep voice. Anything’s
better than Adrian anyway. I know he was wearing a suit if he was
there. I am also pretty sure he just kind of hung out that day
with Karen. I do remember Gene talking a bit about his
experiences during the Holocaust, but I don’t remember the details
about it now, just that I remember Gene saying that he was a survivor
of the Holocaust and that Gene was Jewish. Karen was
Christian. I also remember Karen saying to Gene something like,
“as you used to be a teacher, maybe you could watch me teach and give
me a couple pointers as far as technique and such.” or something like
that. I also think this was the talk where Karen and I came up
with the idea of me being the ‘gopher’ during meetings with people; you
know; go for this; go for that and let the grown ups talk as it can be
a little awkward with a kid hanging around. Well, kind of
anyway. I can’t remember for sure which one, but I used one of my
‘funny’ greetings I believe (Joseph Konyu, proctologist, one of those)
and I know that Gene said, “Not funny Ace.” And then I believe I came
out with, “Why do women have two holes close together?” and Gene
repeated it back in his calm voice and then he kind of opened his hand
up for the ‘I don’t know’ type gesture. Then of course I said,
“So when she gets drunk you can carry her home like a six pack.” and
Gene lost it and let out what appeared to be a huge belly laugh and
Karen and I laughed too. Afterwards, Gene said, “Gas. Now
that was funny” in his usual
calm type voice. People don’t normally expect a teenage boy to
come out with such stuff, but it happened. But, um, yeah, I was
honestly corrupted before I met Karen even though I was almost fifteen
years younger than her. Karen and I both loved a challenge and
Gene was a demon and demons don’t laugh, so… We tried.
And I am 90% sure that Karen and I met Wayne Newton too. And as
each meeting has a story… I am pretty sure as I believe this was
the one time where I was getting jealous. I remember Wayne
talking with Karen on Karen’s side of her desk and then Wayne was
mentioning how if Karen would be with him that Karen would have a
castle and servants and be like a queen and all this stuff until
Karen’s heart was content and I saw sparkles start to come out of
Karen’s eyes while Wayne was saying all of these wonderful things to
Karen and those were MY SPARKLES!!! Yes, I was getting very
jealous of Wayne and it was the only time I remember being like that
around Karen. And then Wayne said to Karen, “You can have all
this with me, but I have just one rule. No one touches my
hair.” And the sparkles and all just left Karen’s eyes at that
point and I didn’t feel jealousy any more. Karen was well known
for playing practical jokes and Wayne pulled a good one on Karen.
And later too I joked with Karen a little and I said, "I could see that
you wanted to take off your shoes and run barefoot through his hair
after that." But it was a practical joke and it did work, but
truthfully it wasn't about looks or such but Karen and Wayne were a bit
different and not that compatible. Wayne also did feel kind of
bad about it as Karen almost broke down afterwards, but really too, at
the time, Karen and Wayne didn't really know each other so Karen should
have known something was up with what Wayne was saying and so should I
have known or else why jealousy on my part. It was a good joke as
Wayne did catch Karen (and me) off guard with that one. And part
of the almost breaking down is because Karen prided herself on her
practical jokes and Wayne got Karen good with this one, so Karen's
pride was hit a little bit as she really didn't have a good practical
joke to get Wayne back with at the time. The reason I remember
this now is that I remember watching National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation
in 1998 and I was watching with other people and for some odd reason
when Wayne was ‘hitting on’ Mrs. Griswold, I had never seen the movie,
I and other people noticed that I repeated what Wayne said almost word
for word before he said it in that movie without me seeing that movie
before.
And Mary Martin visited as well. Mary had on her Peter Pan
costume with the leotard and such. Karen was getting a little
jealous as Mary is a tomboy too, but Karen was, is and always will be
my favorite tomboy. But I asked Mary if she ever felt that
wearing a leotard might seem a little more exposing and awkward than
other types of costumes or such. And Karen was kind of mocking me
behind her desk making googoo eyes and such when I asked, but Mary said
something like, "Good question. I haven't really thought about
that much. A little bit as sometimes a guy's leotard can be a bit
more revealing than I might like. I actually prefer wearing a
leotard as they are made for dancing and other costumes can be a bit
bulky and difficult to work with at times. Long dresses are
probably the most difficult to work with because your feet can easily
get caught in the dress and over you go." And Karen asked Mary if
Mary was ever afraid of heights. And Mary was like, "You learn
that your best friends are the stage hands as they are the ones that
work the ropes and the pullies and the wires. If anything goes
wrong with the pullies or the wires, the stage hands become your best
friends because they are the ones that can help you out the most if
something goes wrong. I have had a couple mishaps over the years
and I've learned to trust the stage hands to help get me through.
We have to work together because if I am up there and I move right and
they pull me left it can get a little awkward sometimes if you aren't
working together. I've had a few falls so I'm not afraid of
heights and I don't think I ever was really. But I've learned to
always develop a trust with the stage hands whenever I'm doing a
show." And I'm not sure if it was during the visit or Karen and
me talking afterwards, but I remember saying the classic, "Why did
Peter Pan go flying? You'd fly too if you got whacked in the
peter with a pan." and of course Karen's teacher name was "Wendy" so
the classic, "Look Wendy, I can fly. Well, almost anyway.
Maybe if I get out on a ledge like that guy on the 6 o'clock news
did." Karen and her step cousin Wendy watched "The Days of Our
Lives" and I believe "As the World Turns (or As the Stomach Churns as I
used to call it)" as their soap operas in 1978 to 1979. When
Karen came back around in 1981, Karen and Wendy added "Dynasty" to the
list of taped soaps as Karen had met Larry Hagman's mother, Mary
Martin. Wendy and Karen talked a lot about Karen's meeting
people. Karen's step cousin Wendy always loved hearing Karen's
personal stories about how Karen met this person or that person over
the years. Wendy wasn't "star struck" so to speak but Wendy
always liked hearing how celebrities were just regular people like her
and her cousin Karen were just regular people too. And yes, as
Mary Martin was a tomboy, Karen was a little bit jealous but not that
much really. Karen could see my thoughts so she knew I was just
being friendly, but not that kind of friendly. Well, maybe a
little bit 'that kind of friendly' but not that much as she was a
tomboy after all and as Karen would say, "all you men are all alike"
and I guess it is kind of true.
Otto and Elfriede Frank? I seem to remember
an older couple (triple?)
and
they had gray hair.
I don't remember hearing that Otto and Elfreide Frank left Basel,
Switzerland
though in 1978 or 1979. If it was, it was only a short visit, but
may have been someone else even. The ? (question mark) is because
I am
not quite sure if Otto was there or not as I seem to remember a guy
with a long gray beard (which may have been a translator) being present
and doing most of the talking. Long time ago (41 years ago or
more). And I remember now, September 9,
2020, that the translator was a local guy named Gary Yoggi. But
the name Elfreide rings a bell now for some reason on
August 31, 2020. I know too that Karen was a big fan of "The
Diary of Anne Frank" as that was kind of the inspiration as to why
Karen kept a diary herself for reference. I seem to remember that
Karen had mailed out a letter to the Anne Frank Foundation and Karen
had mentioned a donation but forgot to include a check. I am
pretty
sure that Otto and Elfriede flew in and visited Karen at the
school.
I believe the return address on the letter Karen sent was Karen's step
cousin Wendy's address. Another side note, the Franks spoke
German (dutch) and I picked up a
pocket German - English / English - German dictionary at Woolworth's I
believe (I studied French, so I had kind of wondered about why I had a
pocket German / English dictionary). It was a messy meeting if I
remember correctly as Karen had forgot to include the donation check in
her letter, but also Karen hadn't figured that they would fly out from
Switzerland to the United States either. And then the language
barrier
as they spoke dutch and we spoke english. The pocket dictionary
helped
a bit and I believe I still have that dictionary. A huge
misunderstanding on both sides but also I think it did kind of work out
in the end. The Franks had actually wanted to meet Karen anyway
as
Karen was a celebrity too and like Anne (Otto's daughter) was wishing
to be, Karen was a working woman in a man's world so to speak.
The
language barrier was the tough part, but Karen knew just enough dutch
and the Franks knew just enough english that I think it worked out in
the end. I can't remember for sure if Karen said she learned to
speak
dutch from her grand ma ma or great grand ma ma Rudolph on her mom's
mom's side of the family. Almost all worked out, as I think the
Franks
were hoping to meet
Richard, that great pianist, as well but Richard was still out in
California. Karen apologized for the misunderstanding and I
believe
Karen
wrote a check in deutschmarks for the Franks to take back with
them.
I believe Karen also wrote a smaller check to Gary Yoggi as well.
The really rough part is that I don't think there is any way to speak
german or dutch without sounding stern or angry. It is just the
way
the language sounds to an english speaking person when speaking in
Dutch / German. But this is a rough idea about how the meeting
went.
Karen: “Guten tag.”
Otto: “Guten tag. Sprichst du Deutsch?”
Karen: “Ein wenig.”
Otto: “Ich habe einen Brief erhalten und Sie haben eine Spende
erwähnt.”
Gary: “I received a letter and you mentioned a donation.”
Karen: “I understood him but thanks. Let’s see. Ich habe einen
Fehler
gemacht und vergessen, den Scheck einzuschließen. Ich hätte
nicht
gedacht, dass du hier rausfliegen würdest. Ich hatte nicht vor,
eine
große Spende zu machen.”
Elfriede: “Ich denke, wir haben einen großen Fehler gemacht.”
Otto: “Ich verstehe nicht.”
Elfriede: “Sie hat uns nicht gebeten, hierher zu kommen.”
Karen: “Ich hatte nur eine kleine Spende geplant, aber ich wollte dich
schon immer treffen. Wie viel hat es gekostet, hierher zu fliegen?”
Otto: “Eintausendsiebenhundertfünfundsechzig“
Gary: “seventeen sixty-five.”
Karen: “Thanks. Do you know the exchange rate for deutschmarks by
chance?”
Gary: “It’s on the paper. Here.”
[Gary shows Karen a newspaper and Karen pulls out a small calculator
and then writes a check in deutchmarks. Karen also writes Gary a
check
too.]
Karen: “Die Verwirrung tut mir leid. Dieser Scheck ist nicht viel, aber
ich hätte nicht gedacht, dass Sie hier rausfliegen würden.”
Elfriede: “Es tut uns leid, dass wir nicht verstanden haben. Wir
wollten Sie schon immer kennenlernen und Sie sind die nette Person,
für
die wir Sie gehalten haben. Anne wollte immer, dass Frauen
unabhängig
sind und Sie sind eine gute Frau.”
Karen: “Danke. Auf wiedersehen.”
Otto and Elfriede: “Danke. Auf wiedersehen.”
And the moral of the story is that if you have
someone that is missing from Czechoslavakia and two bears, one male,
one female, the czech is in the male (as Karen had forgot to put a
check in the mail). Yes, truthfully, if you don’t want a silly
joke by Yakov Smimoff going through your head, then don’t make silly
mistakes again.
I did not meet Frenda (Franklin) Leffler as Karen told me that she
referred to Frenda as “The Town Crier” and that Frenda would tell
everyone anything Karen told her (and sometimes get it mixed up).
As Karen said, “a
blabbermouth”. Frenda was more of a princess type whereas Karen
was more of the tomboy type. As Karen was trying to keep me a
secret because of
my age, naturally Karen never told Frenda about me. Karen also
didn't want Frenda to find out about Richard seeing Mary Rudolph either
as Karen figured Frenda would blow that out of proportion as Mary was
an adopted first cousin and not an actual first cousin and Frenda
ususally got long or involved stories mixed up a little when she told
them to others. Karen also tried not to talk about others around
Frenda either as far as friendships and personal stuff. Frenda
wasn't a bad person, but Karen knew better than to tell Frenda anything
confidential or personal if it could be avoided. If Karen
wanted people to know something (whether true or not), Karen would tell
Frenda. I think Karen and I had this talk just after Phil Ramone
started on the solo album so would have been the second week of May
1979 I believe.
I also have a feeling that I also met Burt
Bacharach as I remember him
sitting and talking next to Karen in 1979 but I am not positive on that
as I can’t remember a story to go with it yet.
I do kind of remember thinking that Burt was sitting there and being
kind of fidgety with one leg crossed over the other and bouncing a
little as well as maybe biting his nail a couple times while talking
but not positive on this. I also remember
talking about Sally Field (The Flying Nun) but I can't remember a
story about her either. Maybe I did though as I seem to remember
Sally sitting there and Karen and Sally saying they wanted to talk
privately so I think I remember sticking my fingers in my ears and
looking downwards while Karen and Sally talked. I think I said
something like "Cool, this is like living in a wind tunnel" or
such. If it did happen, I didn't hear anything to remember but
still not sure if it did actually happen or not. I am fairly
sure now though that it did. I also remember saying "The Flying
Nun" and Sally talking about how that show had the industry typecasting
her as an idiot, so to speak, and how she didn't like that show because
of the image problem she had which made it difficult for her to get
serious roles in movies and such after the series was over. Karen
had an
autograph book, instead of autographs, I tried to collect
stories. And thinking back again around March 23, 2022 here, I
also seem to remember Jerry Reed and possibly Burt Reynolds stopping by
as well (the Smokey and the Bandit cast that also included Paul
Williams earlier). I seem to remember Karen mentioning the songs
"The Bird" and "She Got the Gold Mine (I Got the Shaft)" and I drew a
blank on those. Then came "Amos Moses" and I knew that song and I
recognized his voice then. Karen was on the inside and I believe
Burt was next to Karen and Jerry was on the outside closer to the door
of the room. I seem to remember Burt in between Karen and Jerry
and as I believe Jerry was married at the time I think Burt had said
something to the affect of since Jerry was married and Karen was not,
that Burt was sitting in between Karen and Jerry so that no one could
say there was any "hanky panky" going on between Karen and Jerry.
I seem to remember Jerry saying, "hanky panky" and Burt saying back,
"no hanky panky" and Jerry saying, "not even a little?". I also
seem to remember Burt saying something like,
"I'm gonna relax. You two talk and I'll be fine. I'm gonna
be as quiet as a church mouse." and then I
believe Burt just put his white cowboy hat down over his face and
leaned back in the chair and just kind of sat there with his hat over
his face while Karen and Jerry talked together. I also remember
Jerry Reed and Karen both talking about how they were on the road a lot
and Jerry saying something like, "Home is where I rest my hat". (hang
my hat?)
Karen and Jerry were both pretty down to earth people and it seemed
like a couple times we were waiting for Burt to make a snore noise for
comic relief I guess you could say but I don't think Burt snored.
Yet another time, Karen brought up her dating Steve Martin. Karen
was like, "We tried, but it just didn't work out between us. We
got along and cared about each other and all that but it just didn't
work out." Karen also talked about Steve's "You don't know Jack"
skits and how Steve had kind of embellished slightly about his meeting
Karen's great uncle Jack Carpenter, but only slightly. But Karen
also said that they were together and got along, but there just wasn't
anything special there. Karen was like, "When I meet a guy I
usually get harps or violins or wedding bells or such and I just never
got that with Steve and Steve didn't have that with me either.
There just wasn't any zing there so we both just agreed to break it off
after about three weeks I think it was. We never had any hard
feelings or such towards each other. It just didn't work out
between us. He's a nice guy but there just wasn't any real
chemistry there between us." And then Karen was like, "With
you, it was wedding bells at first, but more like a whole symphony
orchestra now." And I was like, "Me too. Wedding bells at
first and then Beethoven's 9th, Ode To Joy?" And Karen was like,
"Yeah, I've been trying to think of the name of that." And then
we both started going, "Da da dum de da da dum de da da dum de
da..." And of course some people started walking passed the room
and looking at Karen and me kind of funny like usual.
XXIII. Brother Richard
visits
A little while later,
during either english class or dismissal homeroom
(end of school), my teacher got a call from the office about someone
coming up to the room to see her. Next thing that happened was a
guy in a light
brown / tan suit carrying flowers walking into the classroom. Of
course, "Miss Bihuniak has
a boyfriend?" was said, but my teacher said to the class after he
walked in, "This is my brother, Richard, who just came in from out of
town." My teacher had dark hair, and Richard had blond
hair. But during one of our talks before, my teacher had said she
wears a wig at school and that her hair was a very light strawberry
blonde color. Actually she said, "Do you like my hair?" and then
she took her wig off and said, "If you like it,
you can have it. It's a wig. See."
Her hair was
almost pure blonde with just a slight red tint to
it. Anyway, my teacher told her brother that she would see him
after school and she did. My teacher and I talked the next day
and she said how she had just taken off without telling others where
she had gone because she just felt like she needed to get away.
Her family was not mean or anything to her, my teacher just had a lot
of things to think about and needed a break from her family always
putting their 'two cents in' and such. It was just her brother
that arrived and not her parents too. Richard and her talked all
night and my
teacher was tired the next day, but glad that she and her brother had
talked. Her brother agreed to let her have her space and such and
was just glad that his sister was alright and doing better. There
was family close by, so it wasn't like my teacher was all alone or
such. My teacher had already told me that she had a brother, so
there were not any 'bells or whistles' going off about her having a
brother named Richard in a light brown / tan suit (maybe a burgundy
suit though, been a while).
Karen also talked about her and
Richard growing up after I found out who she was, not at this
time. Karen was the extrovert and Richard was the
introvert. Their parents would always have to encourage Richard
to get out and do things. Karen was usually bouncing off the
walls and full of energy. Richard was the sensitive one while
Karen usually cracked a lot of jokes. While growing up, Karen
always thought that they favored Richard, but after growing up Karen
realized that Richard was the one that usually needed the encouragement
and Karen pretty much could take care of herself. Karen would be
out playing baseball and such while Richard would be just sitting
around inside the house. And a secret between Karen and her
mom. Karen said that her mom used to get tired of Richard just
sitting around the house, so mom would embarrass Richard by making a
big fuss over him. Richard would get worried about being thought
of as a mama’s boy in front of others, so Richard would get out of the
house rather than have someone see him getting ‘babied’ by his
mom. In private Karen would tease Richard too about it and go,
“Oh Richie Witchy, you are so wonderful and fabulous, do you need mommy
to tuck you into bed?” There definitely wasn’t any jealousy there
as Karen was a tomboy and wasn’t much for being praised or being fussed
over. As Karen would say, “I’d rather be yelled at than fussed
over.” And as Karen was a tomboy, Richard would pick back.
Brothers and sisters usually pick on one another. No harm
done. Just picking and nothing really cruel or hurtful.
In later years after Richard and Karen had won awards and
such, mom was truly proud of Richard and Karen too. And mom also
knew
that Karen didn't like being fussed over or the center of attention
while others were around. It was also a private joke between
Karen and
mom that Karen knew that mom used to purposely do that stuff to Richard
to get Richard to get out of the house and Karen would play along with
her mom and get Richard into thinking he was going to be called a
"Mama's boy" by everyone. Karen and mom did that to Richard
because
they didn't want Richard to be a 'bump on a log' like dad. It
worked. And Karen’s and mom’s big secret between themselves was
the saying that, “Behind every successful man is a strong woman.”
And Karen knew that her and her mom were the strong women that helped
Richard become successful. But it would be arrogant to say such
things in public, so Karen and her mom just kept it to
themselves. Also, Richard would do all the behind the scenes work
and match the music with Karen's voice, but people would say what a
great voice Karen had and ignore Richard and his contributions.
So at times, Richard would feel left out or underappreciated while
doing more work for less credit as the more stuff Richard figured out
as far as instrumentation and harmonies and such, the better Karen and
the Carpenters's music sounded and the more praise Karen would get for
her singing because that oboe came in at just the right time to make
Karen's voice sound really sad instead of just sad. Richard was
just the piano player? Not hardly. Karen and mom tried to
make sure that Richard didn’t feel too left out or even worst,
unappreciated. And another joke here as Karen became the
successful singer for a successful group while hoping for her big break
to be able to pitch in major league baseball for I believe it was about
$12,500 dollars a year for the average major league player at the time
in the early to mid 1970s. And honestly, not a joke, but if a
team had offered to sign Karen, Karen would have quit the Carpenters to
play baseball in the majors as a pitcher (she had a 77 mph fastball I
believe, which, yeah, was about 2 mph faster than Randy Jones who was
the slowest pitcher in the majors at the time.
Richard, mom and the music biz lucked out).
Secrets. Yes, truthfully, Karen and mom were
actually closer than Richard and mom were. And
of course, "Richard is the
businessman. I am the diplomat." Because they were cooped
up on tour a lot, Karen and Richard had their routines and they would
work together. Sometimes it would be Karen's social skills and
other times it would be Richard's knowledge. Karen and Richard
each had their strong points and weaknesses and they would try to work
with each other's strengths in certain areas. Richard had his
things. Karen had her things. Karen had her voice and
Richard worked the music and sounds around Karen's voice. Richard
and Karen always tried to compliment each other and work together as
much as possible. Karen and Richard were always very close and
always tried to help each other out whenever possible. I think it
was around mid November 1978 when Karen told me that she had peaked in
my personal files. Apparently, according to Karen, with the Myers
- Briggs test, I had tested as an INFJ which was and probably still is
the rarest personality type. I believe that Karen also told me
that both her and Richard had tested INFJ as well for this test.
INFJ stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judgemental.
The opposite would be ESTP or Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking and
Prospecting. Later they added A (Assertive) or T (Turbulent)
which Karen and I would have been Assertive or type A. Karen and
I both thought of ourselves as extroverted, but I guess that is part of
the test as Karen and I could be left alone too so we really didn’t
have to have people around all the time like a true extrovert.
Karen and I were both outgoing people but we also enjoyed our privacy
more I guess you could say on this test. And also, Karen
told me once, "Because Richard is the businessman,
Richard tries to keep up a public image of being mean and ruthless even
to his own family. Richard feels the image helps him make better
deals
than if other people saw him as being caring and such. I go along
with
it, but I know the real Richard has a heart of gold and it's tough for
me sometimes to read stuff written about him because the Richard I know
doesn't have a mean bone in his body."
XXIV. Cubby and the
pajama party
I am also not sure if it
was before or after 'open house', but I know
it was after Paul Williams below. I came into homeroom one time
and a guy was sitting there next to Karen, side
by side behind her desk, and he looked a lot like
a
guy I knew named Bill Benson and had the same voice only Bill Benson
stuttered and this guy didn't stutter. And
Karen said, "I would like you to meet someone." And the guy spoke
up and said, "Have you ever seen the Mousketeer Show on TV, well I'm
Cubby." And I think I said something like, "You're the guy before
and I'm Annette." And then I did a kind of curtsy. And then
I think
Cubby said something like, "She was definitely a talented young
lady." Cubby was clean shaven and short hair and such and looked
like a slightly older version of himself on the Mousketeer Show.
Cubby wore extra stuff, including a wig, when he played drums for the
Carpenters. I actually do not remember much of this conversation
as
far as the talking itself. I do remember that Cubby was a very
down to earth person and was very relaxed around Karen. I also
remember Karen was very relaxed around Cubby. Karen and Cubby
were just down to earth people. Since the Carpenters were not
touring, Cubby was kind of lost in limbo but seemed to be trying to
keep as busy as he could while leaving things open just in case the
Carpenters started touring or recording again. Cubby played drums
for the Carpenters. In all honesty, this was the most relaxed I
had ever seen Karen. The atmosphere was very calm and it just
felt like we were all just sitting around in a pajama party and just
swapping stories and such. I think most of the time I just
listened and let them talk. Karen was excited and glad to see
Cubby and was just so relaxed at the same time but also seeming a
little nervous too. I was feeling
relaxed and such too, but too relaxed and you feel like sleeping and
during the talk between Karen and Cubby, I definitely got many urges to
cuddle up with Karen, but we couldn't. Cubby was just a wonderful
person and very down to earth like Karen was. But also, I could
remember for a little
while at the end before Cubby left that Karen got very nervous and was
pacing back and forth. The reason why she was like this for a
little while was because she was in the awkward position of telling
Cubby that the band didn't need him now so they were going to have to
let him go for the time being and Karen was nervous about Cubby being
upset about it. And I think after hearing this from Karen
that Cubby said, "I'm a little disappointed because you are like family
to me, but I understand. I have some other things to keep me
busy, but I am going to miss touring with you. It has been a lot
of fun over the last few years and if you start touring again
definitely give me a call. I am definitely going to miss you
guys, but I guess it can't be helped. Richard put you on the spot
didn't he?" or something like that and Karen kind of shook her head
yes. And then I think Cubby said something like, "It is bad
timing with me just getting married again and all, but there really
isn't a good timing for something like this anyway. I am glad you
told me now instead of beating around the bush. I'll figure
something out for now and I'm really going to miss you guys." And
Karen was like, "I'm really going to miss you too Carl."
And
after
Cubby left, Karen said to me something like, "I'm glad you were here
because I was really nervous about how Cubby was going to take this and
he seemed to take this better than I thought he would. My brother
Richard felt it would be better if Cubby heard it from me so I was the
one that got the dirty job of telling Cubby about letting him go for
now. It is kind of my fault that we aren't touring anyway, but I
am a bit more diplomatic than Richard and it was probably better if
Cubby heard it from me. Cubby and I were really close on tour and
I almost lost it there, but I could feel you trying to hug me and it
kept me from breaking down." And then she just sat down on her
desk in front of me and then leaned over and said, "Thank you."
And then she stood back up and went around and sat in her chair and put
her feet up on her desk and just leaned back and relaxed in her chair
with a wonderful smile on her face.
I just
kind of scooched in my chair and put my right hand
under my chin and leaned to the right and I looked right at Karen and
just rewound my thoughts back to that pajama party feeling and I had
this big smile on my face. Karen was like, "My pajamas are red,
just
so you know." And I was like, "They look
great over on the beige carpet."
And she was like, "You cheater. You're shagging me. I
thought you
said no quickies." And I was like, "Couldn't be helped, we only
got
about 5 to 10 minutes before the others show up. Check again,
we're on
a nice soft persian rug, it shows off your freckles better." And
she
was like, "Thanks. I could actually use a quickie about now but
don't
let it get to be a habit and shag carpet makes me itch. You think
of
everything. Did you at least bring the champagne, glasses, and
candles?" I was
like, "Of course, but I snuck the champagne in a grape juice bottle
just in case someone saw. They are over in the corner on the
stand and I didn't light the candles. You
know how we like to
move
around. Remember
last time when we knocked the candles over and set the drapes on fire
and the fire department showed up? And listen, skyrockets in
flight."
And she was
like, "I
thought I heard that in the background. I love that song too,
Starland
Vocal Band, nice choice." We never actually had 'our song' as we
never
got that far to have a song. And then she put her hand over her
mouth and
started moaning and her legs on the desk tightened up. I kind of
put
my arms together on the desktop chair and kind of arched my back a
bit and looked over at her. She then
closed her eyes, leaned her head back, and lost it.
A little while later we both collapsed and relaxed.
She kind of
cuddled up in her chair and I kind of put my head down on my arms on
the desktop. I think we both said, "Thanks, I needed that." at
the
same time. And then I think I said, "We could both probably use a
nap." And she was like, "I think you're
right." I went over and flipped off the light switch and sat back
down. And of course people started coming into the
room about five minutes after that, and we both tried to sit
up straight,
but we didn't do so well. We tried anyway.
XXV. Open house and a
lesson about 'little sisters'
And then the 'open house'
night. I had
pretty much warned my
teacher about my parents and it was funny because my teacher had said,
"I get to meet the folks tonight. I'm actually pretty
excited. I know it isn't a date or anything, but still I'm like a
nervous little school girl again and it feels great. How do I
look? Are my bangs alright?" And I was
like, "Your hair is fine. You always look great to me. I
really don't look much like
my parents, maybe my mother a
little bit, but you'll see." And I know at the time that I knew
she was Karen Carpenter, so I probably ought to move this down a little
in the timeline here. Also, because I knew is why I remember
saying to her, "My mom is a big Carpenter's fan and she probably will
recognize you." And my teacher was like, "I'll be fine. I
know how to handle that stuff. You'll see. But in the
future when I ask you how I look just say you look great. Even if
my hair is lopsided and I look like a mess, just say I look great or
else we may never get out the door." And I was like,
"You're right. You look great." And she was like, "Now
you're catching on. If you haven't noticed, I've been grooming
you to be my husband." And I was like, "If you haven't noticed,
I've been briding you to be my wife too, so I guess we're even."
And then I left to go home so that I could come back later for the open
house and she stayed at the school.
And so, the big
night. I come in and introduce my mom and dad and my
sister. And then she looks over to me and I look over with a kind
of oops look on me and I am like, "This is my little sister,
Robin. Becky, Rebecca, is my cousin." And she was like,
"Oh, that explains it. I have an older brother myself and I
noticed Becky and Ace didn't look alike. I'm so glad I got to
meet Ace's sister finally. I'm a little sister myself and I
always hated being called little. Can I get a hug from
you?" And my sister kind of smiled at my teacher and then gave
her a big hug. And then my father just kind of stands there, says
"hello" and shakes hands. And my mother goes, "You look kind of
familiar, have we met before somewhere?" And my teacher was like,
"I kind of look like a lot of different people. I'm sure if we'd
met I would have remembered you." And I looked over at my teacher
with that kind of 'I told you so smile' and then my mom just said,
"Yeah, you probably look like someone I saw on TV or something.
You do have that kind of face I guess." And I just had this look
of relief on my face and smiled at my teacher. And of course from
my mother, "My son isn't a problem, is he? If he is, just let us
know and we'll straighten him right out for you." And my teacher
kind of giggled a little bit and said, "Oh no, he's definitely not a
problem. He's actually very helpful. If I need something,
all I have to do is ask and he's right on it. Anything at
all. He's a good kid." And I nearly started giggling on
that one when she said 'kid'. Now, several times before me and my
teacher had talked about sneaking her into the house and her living
under my bed. And then my mother spoke up, "Is there any way you
could come over to the house and get him out of his room? I'll
give you anything you want just name it." And this was without my
mother knowing it was Karen Carpenter. I've seen videos of Karen
winning the Grammys and such and I can say that the happy look on
Karen's face after my mom said that was at least ten times happier than
when Karen won the Grammys. Karen forgot about her low Marlene
voice and was just all bubbly and said, "I would love to, I really
would, but I have other commitments after school so I can't right
now. I'll work on him though and if he doesn't straighten up,
I'll definitely be over and he knows it." And then Karen and my
mom just looked over at me and they both were giggling together.
So I kind of covered my mouth and
then I dropped my hand down and said, "Well, we probably ought to go
and see my sister's teacher now." And Karen was like, "I
wish you could stay longer and chat more but I know you should
go. Nice meeting you." And Karen gave me that "You're mine
now" look and we left and went to my sister's
teacher. Close call, but it all worked out. She met the
folks.
The next morning of course we talked. I started off
with, "See, I
told you when my mom meets someone she has an opinion of them and she
definitely likes you. I know I'm
a dead man now. I could see you two plotting my demise."
And my teacher was like, "Demise? that sounds a bit ominous for someone
that's only 13." And I'm like, "Exactly, I'm only 13 and already
I got my mom and the woman I love ready
to start picking out china patterns together. How am I going to
sow my wild oats when I get older with a house with a white picket
fence, a two car garage, 2 point 4 kids, and a dog by the time I get
old enough to have wild oats to sow or whatever I got?" And I
have this
big smile on my face. And my teacher starts smiling back and
says, "That is serious. I better get some curtains and doilies
ready to help spruce up the place a bit. I'd better start
knitting some baby booties too. 2 point 4 kids?"
And I was like, "Yup, a boy, girl and a point 4 midget that we keep in
the basement just like every
other typical american family out there according to the
statistics. Statistics don't lie you know." And she's
laughing slightly and saying, "I had no idea you'd given this so much
thought. I'm impressed." And I was like, "Well, you
impressed my mom, that's for sure." My
teacher was
like, "I think you'll survive. I
can see you look like your mom, but you have your dad's eyes
somewhat." And I was like, "Yeah, my dad's nickname is Bud, and
that was where Bubby came from. My grandfather is big too.
I guess I'm the runt of the litter, but when I was younger people
thought I would grow up to be big like my dad and grandfather, but I
didn't." And then I was like, "Yeah, I was a bit worried about
when my mom kind of recognized you, but she didn't put it together and
that was a relief. You did wonderful on that one." And my
teacher was like, "See, I told you." And then my teacher had a
real stern voice and nasty look on her face and said, "I don't ever
want to hear you call her your little sister again. I hated that
name and I still do. Understand?" And then she picked up a
paperback book off her desk and threw it at me. I didn't even
duck and just let it hit me in the chest and then I picked up the book
and put it on her desk and said, "Understood." And then she said,
"Yeah, I saw that look on your face when I said kid and I meant it
too. Even if your sister acts up sometimes, can you blame
her? How would you feel being called little all the time?"
And then she picked the book back up and threw it at me again and hit
me right between the eyes and said, "Bulls-eye" and threw her hands up
in the air over her head; she was wearing a white sweater over a red
dress.
And I picked the book back up and put the book back on her desk
again. And then I said,
"Thanks, I hadn't thought about that." And
then she said, "If I ever hear you call her your little
sister again, I am going to hurt more than your feelings, got
it?" And
I said, "Noted." And then she said, "I would definitely run out
of
stuff on my desk to throw at you if I ever find out you called her your
little sister again, got it?" And I was like, "I definitely got
it,
right between the eyes." And then she
started to
giggle and she had that big
old smile on her face again. She made her point and she also knew
that I knew that she was a tomboy and could definitely have thrown a
lot harder than she did. And really, she threw like a guy, not
one of those girly throws with a limp wrist, but not really a hard
throw either. And then she asked, "How do you
think your parents would feel if they found out you were flirting with
an older woman?". And I was like, "All you would have to do is
just tell my mom you were Karen Carpenter and she would probably hogtie
me to the bed and tell you to 'Have at it.'" And then I
continued, "I don't bring girls home and such, so they would probably
be glad I was at least doing something. Most of the time anymore,
I just sit in my room by myself like my mom said. But if they
found out you
were actually Karen Carpenter, you could pretty much do what you wanted
with me. Like my mom said already, just name it. But
really, my parents aren't the problem. It's
the area. Small area and everyone talks. The only way we
could get away with it is if only once. And honestly, only once
is not an option between us and we both know it. You could
definitely not be a one night stand with me." And of course,
people start coming into the room for homeroom again, so the talk
ended.
I also seem to remember Karen
stopping by the house one day
and Karen going upstairs to visit with Lois the
secretary in
the upstairs apartment. I am also pretty sure that Karen came in
my
room and saw all the Beatle pictures I had hanging on my wall. It
was
kind of awkward because there Karen was, and there was my bed,
and...
well it was a kind of short visit if I remember right. Um, the
temptation was too great so I definitely got out of my room that
time.
Actually, I snuck Karen out the back door rather than have Karen go
through the smoke again. Karen and I joked for a bit afterwards
about sneaking her out the back door. Karen also knew that my
parents smoked and that I stayed in my room to
get away from the cigarette smell. After coming through the
house, Karen was turning a bit green from the smoke smell as she wasn't
used to it. I am glad she didn't get used to it either. I
think Karen was kind of shocked too because I think she was figuring
that I had girly pictures and stuff all over, but I didn't. I
think
Karen said something like, "I think my brother Richard would love your
room". And it was kind of another shock because Karen and I were
so
much alike and Richard and Karen were kind of opposites just like my
sister and me were kind of opposites too.
Karen and I also both realized that Karen was not going to fit under my
bed. I couldn't even fit under there.
I kind of escorted Karen up around the corner and up to Lois' apartment
upstairs.
The joke really was that Karen and I weren't that sneaky. I can't
remember the exact talk yet, but when we finally got up to Lois' and
Ed's apartment, we were laughing so hard that a herd of
elephants couldn't have covered up all of our noise. The whole
neighborhood probably heard Karen and I sneaking around that
time. But
Karen didn't want to be seen out in front of the house.
So we literally had dogs barking, people yelling to shut
the dogs up but also to see if someone was trying to break into their
house, and all kinds of mayhem for about a 3 to 4 block radius at about
8 or 9 o'clock at night. It was just sheer pandemonium in the
area
because we 'sneaked' and we made so much noise sneaking around that the
whole area was on red alert looking for burglars and such with all the
ruckus that we created going maybe about 50 feet from one door to
another, the back way instead of just walking around 70 feet the front
way with more lighting and far fewer obstacles.
So we got
into the apartment and Karen just loses it and is rolling around on the
floor in front of the kitchen cabinets and laughing hysterically.
I am leaning against the counter by the door and I am laughing so hard
that tears are running down my face while I am grabbing onto the
counter to keep from rolling around on the floor too. Lois is
like, "Are you all right? Ed come here. I think they're
hurt. Could you check on them?" And Ed was in watching TV
in the next room and he jumps over the chair and looks at Karen and he
goes, "She's laughing." And then Ed sees me standing there and he
goes, "He's laughing too, this ought to be good. Can you talk
yet?" And Lois is like, "Are you sure they aren't hurt?"
And Ed is like, "I'm sure. They're both fine. I've got to
hear this one." So our
story
to Lois and Ed when I was finally able to start to talk was,
"Didn't you hear us sneaking up
here (and Karen is pretty much literally rolling around on the floor
laughing and holding onto the kitchen cabinet by the door)? I
don't think we're going to try and sneak around again any time soon are
we Honey? I said, let's go around the front, but no, she wanted
to
sneak around the back, so..." And
I was
like, "The first 'oh shoot' was when Karen realized what I said about
the first step being a long step and she almost fell ass over tin
cup out the door.
The next 'darn' and thud was when Karen ran into the picnic table out
back that
I warned her about. The next 'oh shoot' after the loud bang was
when
Karen backed into the rakes and shovels and knocked them over after she
ran into the picnic table. The 'ouch that hurts' was Karen
stepping on the rake and bonking herself in the head with it.
Then Karen tried to get a running start for the fence and tripped in a
gopher hole and that was where the 'darned gopher hole' came from and
the loud thud from where she hit the fence. Then we realized that
Karen couldn't
make
it over the 4 foot high fence which is where the next 'darn' came in
after her skirt got caught on the fence.
I came up with an idea, so I got down on all fours and Karen stepped up
on my back so that she could get over the fence. The 'you son of
a ...' came from when Karen didn't realize that I was on all fours
looking at dirt but I figured I would have a little fun so I said 'nice
view' as Karen stepped on my back. The loud 'ow that hurt' came
from
me as someone stepped on my back. The
'serves you right' came after Karen got over the fence.
Then after we both finally got over the
fence, Marge, the neighbor that is always asleep by 5 o'clock, was
standing there giving me a lecture
about
how Karen seems to be a nice girl and how I, Bubby, shouldn't be
sneaking nice girls out the back door and that she had some nice boys
that would get their asses whooped if they did such a thing to
her. Then, on our way up here, you know how most people fall down
the stairs? Well, we're so coordinated that we managed to fall up
the stairs because we were both laughing so hard. So
here we are safe and sound at last after sneaking out the back door,
kind of. If Marge is up this late, I'm pretty sure we woke up the
whole neighborhood sneaking around." And of
course Karen and I talked a bit the next day
about smoking and sneaking out the back door
and that kind of stuff. "Last night, America's sweetheart, Karen
Carpenter, was seen sneaking out of
a back door. What is this world coming to? Film at
11. Are the cameras still rolling because I just gotta say she's
got a nice butt too."
Or variations like, "Last night, America's sweetheart, Karen Carpenter
was caught sneaking out of a movie theatre, well it used to be a movie
theatre but it is now a pile of bricks. In a rare interview,
Karen
had this to say..." And Karen would say
something like, "Is this thing on? Buy US savings bonds for our
future" or such
for several weeks
afterwards. For two weeks afterwards, Karen and I couldn't look
at each other without busting out laughing about it. Karen and I
also started referring to ourselves as the Keystone Kops.
Open House
was definitely
after Paul Williams showing up,
so chronologically it comes after what's next, but I can't really put
it there due to 'story continuity' problems.
XXVI. Paul Williams
visits
One morning, my teacher
asked me if I would help
her out and all
I needed to do was nothing except be there and try to be quiet.
Apparently someone had let someone else know where my teacher
was. My
teacher was very nervous and was literally biting her nails at
times.
My teacher just told me, "Just be quiet and let me do all of the
talking. Don't say a word to anyone about anything you see or
hear.
This will explain everything. Just be quiet as much as possible
and
listen." I
think the guy, Paul Williams, showed up at lunch time at the front door
and my
teacher and I met him at the door and went upstairs to the third floor
and her and Paul tried to sit and talk to one another. Paul
was fairly short and had a rough gravelly voice that was very
distinctive (OK, yes, this was definitely 'The Lawgiver' from the last
Planet of the Apes movie, as well as the guy that did the music for the
"Bugsy Malone" movie with Scott Baio and Jodie Foster and such).
When we got to the room, I checked out the chair to make sure there
wasn't any gum or such because we had a few kids that would stick their
gum on the chairs (and I think I told Paul "I'm looking for whoopee
cushions" or something like that). I remember Paul saying, "I'm a
dwarf." at one point, so like I say, it wasn't starting out too well
and Karen and I were definitely nervous. Paul
also had a tough time trying to fit into
the chairs
with the desktop attached, but I think he managed for a short
while.
Those type of chairs were not designed for shorter people with a larger
waistlined jacket which if I remember right had
some fringes that kept rubbing up against the chair the wrong way.
You know how when you go to get in a chair and if you have a
jacket on, the middle of the jacket inflates outward. Paul's
jacket
nearly inflated like a balloon. A huge waistline. Paul
wasn't a
balloon, himself, but the buckskin jacket he was wearing seemed to have
a mind
of its own. If I
remember right too, one of the fringes got caught on the chair and
ripped off. Karen was like, "Sorry about that. I can try
and fix that for you if you want or just send me the bill." And
Paul was like, "No, that's fine, it's an old jacket anyway." or
something like that and Paul put the ripped off fringe in his jacket
pocket and said something like, "I'll just put this away for safe
keeping" and then tapped his jacket on the pocket with his hand.
Karen and I were both getting really nervous as it was
not going well with the old wooden back and top chairs with a metal
frame versus Paul's jacket. When
we first met, my
teacher told Paul that I was her 'lookout' and I was just there to make
sure no one came in on their conversation. Paul had a dark brown
leather satchel with papers in it and I played lookout by the
door.
Paul asked who I was and Karen came out with "He's one of my
students and I figured we could use a lookout. He's
harmless. I can
trust him to keep quiet." (I think she said harmless.) And Paul
started out with talking about how
my teacher was tough to get a hold of. My teacher responded with,
"I am
using my paternal grandmother's maiden name so
that people don't know who I am. It's worked so far. My
lookout doesn't
even know who I am yet. Just a couple family members is
all." After a
short
while and introductions and such, we moved from the classroom on the
third floor to the auditorium on the first floor. Anyway, we went
inside the auditorium and I continued in my
"Best Supporting Actor" role as lookout, standing by the door in case
someone may walk in. The door was at the top of the
auditorium, and Paul and my teacher, Karen, went down to the bottom
towards the stage. Paul asked, "Is there a baby grand
piano
around anywhere? I just want to make sure your voice is still
OK." And
my teacher said, "There's an old upright piano here, will that
work?"
And Paul sat at the piano and kind of tested it and said, "It's a
little out of tune, but it will do I guess." And while saying
this, Paul
was tinkling a couple of the higher keys, I believe E and F an octave
above middle C, and you could hear that
the E note was a little flat.
Then Paul hit a few
notes on the piano
and Karen just hummed the notes back. Paul said something like,
"It's
definitely you, Karen, and your voice is as good as ever. Only
you
have
that golden voice that is music to my ears." or something like
this.
And then, "We don't have much time left, so I will get to my point of
coming here. I have some papers for you to sign here for a new
contract
if you wish, but I have yet to fill in the amount." Paul then
wrote a
number on a piece of paper and Karen was not interested. Paul
then
crossed that out and wrote another number and then Karen came out with,
"I am very flattered and I know that is a very difficult offer for you
to make, but I need to refuse for now. I have been living in
hotel
rooms and such having to ask where I am sometimes because I have been
on the road so much over the last decade that most of the time, I
really have no idea where I am most of the time. Since I have
been a
school teacher, this is the first time in over a decade that I have
known where I am every morning. I like that feeling and I want to
enjoy
it for at least a little while longer. Music is still in my
blood, but
I just need a break from all the travelling around and such as you
probably know. I just need a rest from all that and a chance to
get my
head back together again. Richard was by a little while ago and I
figured you would be around shortly too. I've even put on a
little
weight and I feel much better now. But I still need a little time
to
think things through and recover from all of the touring over the last
decade or so. I hope you understand, and I definitely understand
that
what you offered is more than generous and I am very grateful, but I
just can't sign anything or make any commitments until I deal with
these inner demons (I think she said inner demons) that keep
sidetracking me. I would probably just end up back in the
hospital
again like last time which wouldn't be good for either of us."
Then
Karen, my teacher, asked Paul, "Could I get your number and is there
any way you can hold onto that contract until I feel I am alright to
perform again without being sidetracked? I really love
performing, but
I know I need a break for at least a little while longer to get my head
straight again. I am not sure how long that may take, but I just
know
I
can't do it now. I would definitely end up back in the hospital
again
like before." Paul said something like, "Thank you for your
honesty
Karen; I hadn't thought about that. Take as long as you feel you
might
need. I agree that your
health is more important and that you should take some time off.
When
you feel you are ready again, I will give you my number so you can call
me. No pressure and the offer will still be good." And then
Paul slid
all of the papers into his satchel and my teacher and her lookout saw
Paul to the front door of the school. Near the auditorium door I
remember
Paul leaning over to me and saying something like, "You could learn a
lot from her. She is one tough cookie." After leaving the school,
Paul went around the corner and got into his car and left unseen by
anyone except myself and Karen when he left. Karen thanked me for
helping and 'not talking about it.' It was a "no brainer" for
sure as I didn't want Karen bombarded by a bunch of people all of the
time just because she was a famous singer and drummer and such.
Karen was a wonderful person and very down to earth. And if she
wanted privacy, that was fine with me. I definitely understood
after this. And Karen definitely was telling the truth to Paul
when they talked. I remember when Karen first started teaching
and she was kind of nervous a few times and such. When Paul
showed up, it was the first time Karen had been nervous in quite a
while. I could definitely see that Karen was definitely a more
relaxed person after she had been teaching for a while. And after
Paul left that day, Karen was back to relaxing again. Kicking her
feet up and drinking tea like before. She always liked the longer
skirts and dresses, so don't worry about her feet getting too high off
the ground or
whatever. Karen was a teacher that could relax now and she
definitely had it all covered. Later, (from what I’ve heard from
other sources, January 24, 1979) Richard called Karen up while Richard
was in Topeka Kansas and Richard asked Karen, "What are you doing out
there? How could you forget something important like that?
Do I need to bring you back home where we can keep an eye on
you?" That kind of thing. So Karen said that she didn’t
know what to do after Richard had said, “I quit” before in September
1978 and there was a clause in the new contract about ‘a new album’ and
how were they going to do a new album if Richard had quit and Richard
mentioned the “Christmas Portrait” album being released and I think it
was around January 26th that Jerry Weintraub showed up and Karen signed
the contract. Richard was upset because without Karen signing the
new contract, Karen wasn’t getting royalties from the “Christmas
Portrait” album and such. Richard was still in Kansas and Karen
was still in New York State and Jerry and I got to say hi to each other
again. And it was also an extra unplanned expensive plane trip
that Jerry Weintraub had to make too. And then later around late
March or early April 1979 came the idea for Karen doing a solo album
from Jerry Weintraub (discussed later).
XXVII. Sexual innuendos
and Bible verses
After 'the cat was out of
the bag' so to speak,
Karen and I talked a
bit about it. During the talk, we mainly talked about publicity
and the papers and such which would have been a bad thing and we both
knew it. We also talked about 'sexual innuendos' and although
flattering, could cause problems too if the wrong person overheard us
and got the wrong
idea. Neither one of us wanted anyone, including ourselves, to
get into trouble or have problems and such. She also hoped that
my finding out she was a celebrity wouldn't change things between us
and it didn't as far as I knew. We did have great feelings for
one another and they were honest feelings, but the underage problem was
a real problem especially in a small area of about 12,500 people that
like to gossip. We were both a lot alike. Child-like
(not childish), inquisitive and
adventurous and that kind of stuff. Physically, we always kept
our distance, but we still couldn't quite hide that eye contact we
had. We could just look at each other and know what the other was
thinking and feeling. That magical feeling of truly knowing
someone and them truly knowing you. That kind of eye
contact.
And yes, that eye contact also
included knowing when either
of us was getting horny, in all honesty. And
honestly, every time either of us got horny, the other
got horny too. Quite a few times, she would just say, "I think
you
probably ought to wait until after homeroom to go to your locker.
You'll see." And sure enough, she was right. A few times I
also said,
"You probably ought to sit down for a bit. I think you are about
to
have a dizzy spell. You'll see." And sure enough. It
was just
uncanny that we always seemed to get horny within a
minute or two of each other. Always.
And for those wanting to know (and if
you don't
want to know
just skip to the next paragraph), guys had schlongs, Karen had a
koochie and bosoms (with or without a boulder holder) and Karen used a
pad, not a plug, during her 'visitor' (period, menstrual cycle).
Karen
had heard about 'toxic shock' so she avoided using a plug just in case
but she might use a plug with certain outfits if she had to.
Karen used to use plugs (insert here through the cardboard tube) before
she heard about 'toxic shock' in the mid to late '70s. Karen also
was not one to wear clothing that was form fitting or tight.
Karen wore loose clothing whenever possible. Karen did not like
stuff rubbing up against her skin (which was why Karen preferred
'plugs'). Karen also did not like tan lines either. And
yes,
burlap bag and 'granny rag' jokes between Karen and I. Karen and
I didn't really
'tease'
each other, but with the age problem we just couldn't make physical
contact without Karen possibly getting into trouble (yes, pun
intended). And as we found out in 1981, after first contact we
just
couldn't hold back from wanting more and more and even more and way
even more and...
I remember one time
she was
having a girl talk session with about 3 or 4 girls around her desk just
after english class ended. I was just walking around Karen's desk
to
head to my locker and Karen turned to me and said,
"I was just curious, 10:08?" and I said, "10:06, sorry, I started
it
that time. 12:22?"
And she said, "yup, 12:21. I beat you that time. Sorry
about
that. I
didn't break it did I? You know, your concentration? You
look kind of
lost." And she just had this concerned look on her face and I did
have
this stunned look on my face.
And I was
like, "Not yet that I am aware of, I'm still thinking straight.
Thanks
for asking." And we both kind of lost it and started laughing
after
trying to keep a straight face with each other with these 3 or 4 girls
standing around her desk that had no clue what we were just talking
about. As I was walking out I think one of the girls said
something
like, "That's nice that you and Ace talk Bible verses together. I
think it's sweet." And Karen said, "He's
sweet alright. Nice butt." And one of
the girls said, "Miss Bihuniak, you're being naughty" and
Karen was like, "I call 'em as I see 'em" and
the girls
kind of giggled a
bit. And the good thing is that the girls
just
continued
their girl talk afterwards without missing a beat like nothing had
happened. Later Karen said, "I know I caught you off guard and I
said no sexual innuendos, but I couldn't resist with them standing
there. It was just too funny and they didn't have a clue as you
noticed. That was kind of what drew me to you back when we
met. I kind of noticed that unlike most of the others here, you
have some street smarts and common sense. Thanks for playing
along and not giving me away. And as you'll also notice, I kind
of have this thing about being considered a prude and at times I just
can't help myself."
And then, another
time, around Halloween, she just said this after being up all night on
the night before (my fault), "I know you were up
all last night and you kept me up all night too for the same
reason. But four times is a bit much. This
is great and all. I
really enjoy it each time. But I think I should have a talk with
your
mother about putting some salt peter in your Wheaties in the
morning."
And I just looked at her and said, "I don't know if it will help or
not, but it might be worth a shot. Do you want her number?"
And she
was like, "No, I am actually kind of enjoying going through puberty
again in a way. It's kind of refreshing really. But it's
been quite a
while for me. I just hope I don't start getting pimples
again." And I
was like, "I hope so too. There's only one way to get rid of
those and
we would definitely get caught and get in trouble for that." And
then
she put her thumb under her chin and her index finger to her mouth and
just said, "I think you ought to sit down now." And she just had
that
look in her eye. And then I was like, "I think you're
right." And I
just scooted around her desk and sat in my chair. And then she
stared
over her desk at me and just said, "I know I started this one, but I
have this strange urge to ask you to stand up and recite some poetry to
the class one of these times." And so I said, "You would,
wouldn't
you?" And then I stood up and said, "Like this? Hark, What
light
through
yonder window breaks?" And she just turned beet red and put her
hand
over her mouth and motioned her other hand for me to sit down. So
I
sat
down. Then she fanned her face with her hand and said, "It sure
got
hot in here all of a sudden didn't it? You really aren't modest
or shy
are you?" And I was like, "Not particularly. I don't really
get
embarrassed either. Hey, your voice got a little higher too on
that one." And she was like, "That's actually my normal
voice. You caught me off guard. Well, I'm glad we got that
straightened out. You really do care about me don't you?"
And I was
like, "Yes, I really do care about you a lot. More than I even
know.
This is not a puppy love or crush or or some elaborate scheme to get
into your pants or dress or skirt or whatever you're wearing.
There's
just something truly wonderful about you and I can't help but care
about you. That's all I know for sure. That and I can't
hurt you
without hurting myself. Honestly, it's not an act or whatever, I
really can't."
We had the emotional contact and then some, but we
both
also knew that even just a simple touch on her shoulder, or our hands
coming together and that emotion would have just taken over and we
couldn't stop it in a physical sense. We would have been all over
each
other all of the time. We couldn't have helped it in a physical
sense. Everything else was there except the physical ecstasy, and
honestly, we honestly felt each other without actually physically
touching each other. And of course, many times, we
wouldn't even say
a word and just look at each other. We just knew. We could
sense everything, including if we
were trying to hide something from each other. We
still had our secrets from each other, but some things were just better
left unsaid was all, not really hiding. We
couldn't go beyond
just talking, so talking about going beyond just started driving both
of us crazy, so we tried to avoid that as much as possible.
Luckily, no one else really noticed us staring at
each other like we did. I think keeping my
head down in english class helped a lot to keep others from
noticing. I did kind of
mope around for a bit after finding out she was Karen Carpenter.
I didn't really know why I moped around either, I just remember that I
did. I think it was just because now I knew what this big secret
was after all that time, and that 'thrill of discovery' of what this
secret might be was gone. We did become very close in a very
short time and a lot of it was because we had a lot in common with our
personalities. We were a lot alike so it was like we knew each
other really well and we became comfortable with each other in a very
short time and we could literally talk about anything.
XXVIII. Life's
Embarrassing Moments
I think Karen and I had
this talk during dismissal homeroom just after
my "Hark, what light through yonder window breaks." moment. But
Karen
just started talking about her most embarrassing moment. First,
Karen talked about one of her regrets. One of Karen's friends had
dared Karen to get a tattoo when Karen was younger. Karen was not
about to be called a chicken. Karen had a small tattoo of a red
rose that was in a well hidden area. As Karen said, "A regret" as
Karen had always been about 'God given' and a tattoo was not God
given. Karen had a tattoo done as a dare and did not recommend
compromising your principles just because of a dare. And to note,
At Karen's grave site were a bunch of yellow roses. To note also,
Karen's favorite color was red and black. At
the time of Karen's funeral, the
flower shops had run
out of red roses. Yellow roses were used at Karen's funeral as
the flower shops in
the area had run out of red roses and it was getting close to
Valentine's Day in 1983. Karen and
Richard did a show and during that show they did a parody to the
Grease Broadway Show. Karen said that she was in a costume that
had
oversized cleavage and it was just bouncing around all over the place
and really awkward. And she was like, "I don't really understand
what
guys see in big bosoms. They just get in the way. Flopping
all over
the place. It was just so awkward and embarrassing. Have
you
ever had
any embarrassing moments?" (Note also here, Karen enjoyed doing the
show as it was a parody and most that saw the show saw it as being
funny. The embarrassing part for Karen was from ones that would
show the oversized cleavage pictures without the context of it being
funny. Karen was not against doing the parody and wasn't
embarrassed by having done it, but she would get embarrassed by guys
that took those pictures out of context). And I was like, "First,
you know me,
well
actually maybe you don't. I don't really get embarrassed. I
had an
incident in a baseball game where I threw the ball and it just went
completely over the backstop which was at least 25 foot high. And
in
second grade I had a girl [Michelle C] that was doing the gotta pee
dance a couple seats over, so I had a boner and of course the teacher
called on me to answer a question so I stood up and, well, the teacher
went running down the hall saying, 'I didn't do it. I didn't do
it.'
and it was actually kind of funny because this teacher had always been
harping on me about how only spawns of Satan like Napoleon and Hitler
wrote with both hands and that I needed to write with just my right
hand. I'm ambidextrous or whatever. Actually, the next year
I jammed
my left finger on a basketball and started writing with my right
hand.
But anyway, I'm not really into big bosoms myself. Butts a little
bit,
not that way, but you know what I mean. But I actually got my
nickname
from Julie Sage, the girl that hangs around with the Karen that talks
to herself in the third person. Anyway, it was at the end of
third grade when I told her that I needed
a better name other than Andrew, she called me Andrew not Adrian, and
Bubba, she called me Bubba not Bubby. So she said, 'When you look
at a
girl, what's the first thing you look at?' And I said,
'Face' And she
said, 'How does Ace sound?' So that's how that came about.
And I
guess it still holds true because I just love the way your face lights
up when you smile and as you know, I could just spend all day and all
night staring at the sparkles in your eyes when your face lights
up."
And Karen's face was just beet red but she had a big smile and her eyes
were all sparkly. And Karen was like, "I always wondered about
how you
got your nickname. Thanks. I guess that explains what you
see in me.
I always liked my eyes too. That's kind of why my favorite color
is
burgundy red and black, because of my eyes." And I was like, "You
know
how much I love those eyes of yours. I've never really been a
bosom
man honestly. Maybe it was because I started before girls had
bosoms
or whatever, but I've always been a face man expecially the eyes and
smile. I just love a beautiful smile and I like..." And
Karen and I
both said, "Tomboys and mud pies." And then I said something
like,
"Body parts are body parts, but I guess I've always been a hopeless
romantic." And Karen was like, "Me too." And then Karen and
I noticed
someone else walking down the hallway so we just kind of made it look
like I was doing homework and like she was reading her book while we
still looked at each other with big wide smiles.
XXIX. Karen and I,
heart to heart talk
The talk we had after
school after the day Paul
Williams visited went
like this... Karen and I were in the homeroom on the third, top,
floor and everyone left for the day. Karen then went over and
locked the door to the classroom and said, "We need to talk without
anyone bothering us. I locked the door and neither one of us is
leaving until after we talk." I was like, "I understand
completely. You're Karen Carpenter and the last thing either of
us needs right now are the newspapers or the TV cameras turning this
place into a three ring circus. I definitely am not going to say
a word to anyone. Your secret is safe with me." She was
like, "Yes, it is really important that you keep this quiet and I know
you will. Like I said before the meeting, I can trust you.
But I didn't lock the door because of talking about the meeting
earlier. We really need to talk about us. I
keep getting mixed signals from you and I have
been
pulling my hair out wondering about things, and I am just going to ask
straight out and I want honest answers from you. But before I
even ask I am going to say that you have me wrapped around your finger
and I think you know that you could pretty much do what you want with
me. I am pretty much throwing myself at you all of the
time. And if you
only knew what I wanted to do with you. But
anyway, Do you feel any different about me now that you know who I
am?" And I was like, "No. Not at all. I still see
this wonderful person that I enjoy being around. It's still you
on the inside." And she
continued, "And I see the way you look at me and I need to ask, do you
have a crush on me? Please be honest with me." And I was
like, "I am pretty sure this is beyond a crush for both of us. It
is in both of our eyes. We can't fake that. Neither of
us. But the problem is with these feelings I have, I can't hurt
you in any way. That is why I keep my distance. I don't
even dare hold your hand because we both know it would lead to more and
then you would get in trouble and I would feel really terrible about
it. Once we started, there would be no stopping or turning
back. And afterwards, think about Jerry Lee Lewis marrying his 13
year old cousin. I can't take that chance with you and you
possibly losing your career and such. You love music too.",
And Karen said, "I remember what happened to Jerry Lee now. I
forgot about that. And what about Paul Yorrick of Peter, Paul and
Mary? She didn't have any ID on her so how was Paul to
know. Paul got a bad rap on that one. He is a really nice
guy. Poor Paul. We're back to the newspapers and such being
a
bad thing again. What newspapers? I don't see any
reporters around here, do you?" And then I continued,
"Funny. Everyone is a comedienne until they make the front
page. And besides, the stripes on your new outfit go the wrong
way and make everyone, including you at even 26 pounds, look fat.
Is that what you really want? I don't. I like having
visiting hours every day, and do you really think they would let us
visit each other after you got caught? My parents would be
alright with it, it is others around here that are the problem and they
wouldn't hesitate to cause problems for you, not because you are a
celebrity or such, but because they would be upset about a teacher
being with a student. Any teacher. Any student. Even
with parental consent or whatever. The law sees it as statutory
rape, even with consent. Definite problems. Anyway, you
know as well as I do, once
we started, we couldn't stop. A crush usually goes away, this
ain't going away and I think
we both know it. And no, I'm definitely not a virgin
either. I've definitely had those thoughts too. Oh boy have
I had those thoughts. No doubt you have felt me memorizing and
undressing every inch of you with my eyes. Nice feet by the way,
I love the way your toes curl up when, But anyway if I hurt you, I
hurt myself. I can't. I definitely want you in more ways
than one. The table, floor, chandelier, refrigerator." And
she was
like, "I've done table and floor, the bed even, but chandelier and
refrigerator?" And I was like, "Yeah, swinging from a chandelier
would
be a bit difficult, but think of the head rush from the blood rushing
to our heads. As far as the refrigerator, I know it's high up and
all
that, but think about the vibrations from when the ice maker comes
on.
That would be quite a rush." And then she was like, "Noted, we'll
look
into a hotel room with one of those magic vibrating beds and a
chandelier. I think we could probably do it, but there's a lot of
stuff on the refrigerator and I don't feel like cleaning up the mess
afterwards. Come to think of it, a waterfall would be nice
too.
Shower stalls are a bit cramped." And then I continued, "See, we
are
perfect for each other. We think a lot alike. But I
can't. I just
can't. There is so much passion there that we would probably blow
up the planet just holding hands. It is definitely beyond sparks
or flames already. There is no way we could hide it if it went
any further, we can barely hide it now with just eye contact. I'm
too young and you would get in trouble in a small town like this.
It isn't worth it." Then she was like, "Well, that pretty much
answers the rest of the questions I was going to ask you. By the
way, do you have a pet name for me yet?"
And I was like, "I
haven't really thought about that really. I like you just the way
you
are and for who you are inside and outside. Honey, I just can't
think
of a pet name for you right now." And she said, "Darling you
called me Honey." And
at the same time she said this I said, "Honey you called me
Darling." Almost in unison, I started after she said 'Darling'
though. And then we smiled at each other and then we continued to
gaze into each others' eyes for a little while longer. Then I
took my glasses off and I said, "As you can see, I am not really an
ugly duckling so to speak. I keep my glasses on on purpose.
If you hear the name Bubby, except
from my cousins, get out of the way. I am about to get
attacked. The girls that remember that I look like this without
glasses all know my name as Bubby. I almost
failed kindergarten because girls kept trying to
play footsy with me all the time, and when the teacher called on me,
half the time I had no idea what the teacher was talking about because
I was busy playing footsy back." And Karen was like, "I remember
playing footsy. It was a lot of fun." And I continued, "As
you probably know, hunks
are good for only one thing, to make women and girls horny.
That's it. And I know you know I have been
hiding something and this
is it. This is what I have been hiding from you. I'm a
hunk. I have
been wearing glasses since kindergarten and third grade gym class and I
actually enjoy being thought of as a dork or a geek or ugly duckling or
whatever. You know, girls don't make passes at guys who wear
glasses. I don't get attacked like I used to with girls throwing
themsleves at me all the time. There's more to me than just looks
and I'm definitely not a virgin. I can get
laid about any time I want." And she
was almost in tears and said, "What am I going to be, just
another notch in your belt?" And I was like, "No way Honey, I'm
not
like that anyway or else I wouldn't be wearing
my glasses all of the time like I do,
besides, I
don't even wear a belt. I led the
Belt Rebellion back in Mrs. McKendrick's third grade class where I said
my dad hit me with his belt and I'm not going to wear a belt again, and
the next day two thirds of the boys in the class weren't wearing
belts. I haven't worn a belt since then. I can't notch
something that I don't even have. And my six shooter is more like
eight and a half. Yeah, one of the girls measured it back
when. I
really do care about you a
lot. More than I even know. I really can't hurt you without
hurting myself. Everything I have said to you has been honest and
truthful and I can't help it. I really can't lie to you, because
if I
lie to you, it will hurt me even more than it would hurt you. But
yeah, this is my big secret that I keep trying to hide from you.
Are
you disappointed that I'm not an ugly duckling?" And she just
kind of
sat there a little while and then she said, "I'm definitely not
disappointed, I knew you have been hiding something. I just had
no
idea. Guys usually chase after girls because of looks and I
hadn't
really thought about it the other way around. Honestly,
I met Elvis when I was younger and you look just
like him without your glasses on. I can also tell that you can't
see too well without your glasses on either. I kept thinking that
you looked
familiar somehow and after you took your glasses off I realized why I
kept thinking you looked familiar to me. You are the spitting
image of
Elvis in 1956 before he dyed his hair and such. I have met a
couple of Elvis' kids and he had a few kids out of wedlock and you look
more like him than they do. Are you sure your mom wasn't with
Elvis?" And I am like, "Positive. When my mom meets someone
she always has an opinion about them. My mom has always been
indifferent about Elvis. I'm positive." And Karen
continued, "I can see why you
would get attacked. You really do love
me
don't you?" And I was like,
"Yes, I do
love you. I am not afraid to say it to you. It is just that
if you
have to repeat something over and over again, it usually isn't true or
you have doubts. I don't have any doubts about you. You and
me, we've
got the real love that everyone's looking for. And yes, you and
me,
Karen and Ace because believe me I am always going to try and make sure
that we come together but if not, I always want you to come first, then
I'll roll over and fall asleep. And be prepared because I love to
cuddle." And she was like, "I love to cuddle too. This
could get
interesting." And then I was like, "Honestly, I hug my pillow
every
night anymore. I got it bad. Really bad." And she was
like, "I hadn't thought of that, does it
help?" And I was like, "Not really. All it really does is
remind me
that something's missing that I can't have right now. It's great
having these feelings, but it sucks because we can't do anything about
it without you getting into trouble. I guess I still have a bit
of
growing up to do." And then she said, "Of all the guys I've met,
you
are definitely the most grown up. Right now I have this strong
urge to
come over there and hug you and try to make you feel better, but
knowing our luck, the minute I stood up to come over, the fire alarm
would go off and then the firefighters would break down the door or
something. It's really tough for me too. I think I got it
just as bad
as you." {Truthfully,
I hadn't been known as Bubby since third grade. Truthfully too, I
had worn eyeglasses since kindergarten. Truthfully three, I was
definitely not a virgin at this time. Truthfully four, my first
is not around anymore and no way to have it verified, so I do not
mention her name. She knew who my sister was and did not want my
sister to know, so I don't tell. She also knew who Julie Sage was
and did not want her butt kicked at the time either [Julie Sage moved
to Binghamton in late 1978 or early 1979 during eighth grade and died
in a car crash in June 1983]. (There were a couple girls, Nancy
Hunt
being one amongst a few others, that did know me as Bubby back when and
they all had a big crush on that 'hunk' in kindergarten. A few
upper classwomen as well. And up until about third grade, I
didn't wear my glasses in gym class, so there were others that
remembered 'the hunk' too. We did actually have a field trip to a
local field to spend the night. Of course the ugliest girl in
school, Patty Hammer, boxed me in on the bus on the way to the field
and I am glad that I didn't puke all over the bus. It was just
that
horrible. But thank God that Patty was inexperienced and only
knew of 'smooches' and not 'slipping the tongue'. But this was
near the end of the year I believe, I
think Karen had already left by then. But maybe not. It may
have even been seventh grade the attacks happened. But anyway, I
think I have divulged enough background info here.)} And
then I
put my arms out on the desktop and then folded them over and put my
head on my right arm and I still gazed at Karen looking at her kind of
sideways. I was like, "I am enjoying this so much. This
great feeling like I am floating on air. I've heard of cloud 9,
but this is at least cloud 11 or so. Cloud 9 was about two weeks
after you started here. What a rush. This definitely is not
a crush." Karen then said, "I think we're both done now.
Thank
you so much for being honest with me. I'll
unlock the door." And I just kind of got up because I was feeling
a little dizzy and said, "Thanks, I know we both needed this talk for a
long time now. I'll just go home and sit in my room and hug my
pillow again." And she was like, "I'll stand away from the door
and let you out because I got some paperwork to finish up first before
I go home, but also, because if I stand by the door right now, I
probably wouldn't let you go." And I was like, "I know, I
couldn't let you go either and I really don't think I could stop you
this time and even worst, I don't think I could stop myself."
Door unlocked and she sat back down and I left.
And seriously,
before I knew she was Karen Carpenter, I couldn't hurt her
emotionally. She could have been the laundry maid or whatever,
and I just couldn't hurt her emotionally or physically so long as it
was that person. That cloud 11 connection between us was just
amazing. Karen Carpenter or not, it was her, not some fame or
notoriety or whatever. Not even the age difference. With or
without the fame or notoriety stuff, I knew that any hurt I caused her,
would probably double back on me and it would probably hurt me at least
twice as much. It was just that intense of an experience.
We were both too old and too experienced for 'crushes'. And not a
'second childhood' at 13,14 or 28,29. Just not possible. It
was real, but unreal at the same time. We both felt it. But
what it was or is, I can only try to describe it as best as I
can. Note
the stuff inside the { } was never said by myself, I
just wrote it as a reference to what was said in relation to other
events that may or may not have
been related to this discussion that Karen and I had. Another
note, I am writing this in 2019, 40 years afterwards, and I got those
same feelings back just thinking about these things over the last 2
weeks. Karen has been gone since 1983, but even though she is not
around, just those thoughts again have me on at least cloud 9
again. And honestly, I do not have any hurt inside me that she is
not here now even though we probably could finally at least hug now
after all we went through (Karen especially). I also do not feel
guilty or blame anyone about Karen dying the way that she did,
including Karen herself. I am just still so happy to be able to
have had that feeling before and to now have that feeling again.
It is still so incredible even without her here to share it with me
again. But if she was here, it would most likely be cloud 100 all
over again, until maybe cloud 1000 and beyond. Thoughts are
thoughts. Reality is reality. And walking on air is still a
wonderful feeling to have whether science believes it can happen or not.
XXX. Field Trip - The
Great Outdoors
And thinking of the Patty
Hammer incident in gray above, that was in
8th grade. Karen told me that she set that up with Patty to "get
even with me". And of course Patty Hammer and I had to be
separated and as a chaperone, Karen had to sit next to me to make sure
I behaved during the bus trip. All in good fun. Anyway, the
middle school
had an overnight field trip at a local type of camp called Watson
Homestead. Lodges and that type of stuff and an indoor pool, a
pond, and lots of open fields and a few trees too. As Karen was a
teacher, she was a chaperone. Karen and I are both the "outdoor"
types as we found out. We both had a lot of fun. Shhh,
Karen and I did a few cartwheels together here and there in the open
fields when others weren't looking. Then others looked and
started doing cartwheels too. The trip was in late April or
early May. Warm enough during the day and at night for a light
coat or jacket. I had on my hand-sewn reversible light blue /
dark blue jacket which for some reason had lipstick on the collar
now. Oh well. It was an overnight trip. I think we
left the school around 2 PM after lunch periods (but not sure, we could
have left in the morning even). And of course a few noteworthy
events (as always when Karen and I were together).
The first one
was that there was a lookout tower on site and I started to go up and
then I turned around and went back down. The stairs were open
stairs, but I wasn't actually 'afraid of heights' so to speak, it was
that as I got higher up, the air wasn't as dense and I would start to
lose my balance. Karen came down and got me and told me that I
was going to go up to the top even if it killed me. Actually,
Karen said, "You're not getting out of it that easy. Just look up
and I'll help you get up there. I'll be with you. You'll be
fine." And so up we went. We made it to the top and then
Karen made sure I looked out the window up top too and that we stayed
up there at least 15 minutes with one of the staff that was up
there. Karen said, "I noticed you were unsteady on your feet and
that you weren't faking it." And Karen looked at my ears and
noticed that part of my ear never grew in on the outside of both of my
ears. Karen knew that I wasn't 'afraid'; it was just that I was
losing
my balance. Karen figured it was one of those things where the
canals on the inside of my ears weren't right and that air pressure
would cause me to lose my balance. Karen asked me if my mother
had had an epidural and I said yes. Karen had heard about it with
a few people, but now she had seen it first hand. She said, "I
could see you turning green up there and I can see why. But I
wasn't going to let you chicken out of it. It's a bad
habit."
And also, if I remember right, we had a kind of scrimmage
baseball game
too. Karen was my homeroom teacher so we were on the same team of
course. And you know that Karen had to pitch. So Karen
pitched. But Karen was a bit grumpy and was saying things to me
like, "You're a sore winner" and "You're being a spoiled sport" and "I
ought to bench you" (and of course I stood next to her and I whispered,
"Bench warmer sounds like a good idea. Can I be the bench warmer
and then when you come in you could sit on my lap and talk about the
first thing that pops up?" and Karen was like, "It's my idea so of
course it's good, unfortunately we don't have enough people to bench
you or else it would have been a great idea. Besides it's nothing
to talk about and don't get started on that. You're having a hard
enough time concentrating on the game as it is"). Karen was not a
happy camper. A ball got hit to me and I picked it up and I went
to throw it to Karen and Karen was waving her hands and mouthing 'no,
no, no'. Then I looked and I realized that Karen didn't have a
ball glove on, so I threw Karen my glove with the ball in it and Karen
calmed down after that. And truth was that I was ambidextrous
and I could use either hand so not having a ball glove on was actually
easier for me. Just pick the ball up and throw it. I
thought at first because Karen was a tomboy that she was trying to show
off and stuff, but she actually felt awkward playing baseball without a
glove which is why she was so grumpy. I also said later, "Why
didn't you say something, I would have let you use my glove, no
problem?" And Karen was like, "Ball gloves are personal, like
underwear. You don't ask to use someone else's ball glove like
you don't ask to use someone else's underwear." And then she
said, "This is a big glove. What do you use it for, to catch
watermelons?" and then I showed her how to put her index finger on the
outside of the glove to help balance the glove out. Karen and I
were back to being happy campers after I let her use my glove. I
actually still have that ball glove and I keep it in the trunk of my
car just in case.
And of course there was dinner time where Karen and I
both played with our food for the most part. I told Karen about
the fact that I couldn't eat certain canned vegetables because I would
throw them back up. I didn't know about my vinegar allergy at the
time, I just knew that canned beans and canned carrots and canned peas
would make me puke. I believe it was
succotash for dinner which was on my 'be careful' list. So
like Karen, I was a kind of 'picky' eater,
but for different reasons. Karen was worried about weight while I
was worried about eating something wrong and then throwing up.
And of course Karen ate right-handed and I ate left-handed, so we ended
up having to give ourselves some elbow room while we ate. During
lunch time at school, we ate across from each other at our desks and
not side by side. I
think Karen and I both had pancakes the next morning for
breakfast. We didn't play around with those.
And of course
there was a campfire that night with marshmallows on a stick and
sitting around and singing songs and such. Yes, Karen sang too
with the rest of us. No one caught on. I can see Michael
Row the Boat Ashore, Kumbaya, This Land Is Your Land, but not even
during Jambalaya (On the Bayou). Karen and I shared the same
marshmallow stick so that she could cook them and then feed them to me
(she did have a couple though). All good fun.
And there was
also a dance later. And I am pretty sure
there was a dance contest too. Yes, Karen
and I danced. Um, actually,
we kind of stole the show if I remember right. I think we
literally danced circles around a few people. Actually, I know we
danced circles around others because we were lined up opposite as boy /
girl and Karen and I would circle around the others so that we lined up
opposite each other so we could dance together. There were more
boys than girls. Others were getting
kind of worn out but Karen and I were just so full of energy and it
seemed like the more Karen and I danced together, the more energy we
had. I think we even wore the band that was playing out. I
think I remember Karen offering to give the band 20 bucks if they
played another song and I believe one of the band said, "We
can't. Not even for a hundred bucks. We're pooped."
I also remember the song "Can't Help Falling In Love"
popping into my head so I am pretty sure that was the song that Karen
was going to request, but not to be. If
there was a dance contest (I am
pretty sure there was) we won it hands down.
I think the prize was a little bronze colored trophy cup.
And of course it was an overnight and of course Karen caught
Mike and I
sneaking over to the girls' cabin. Mike was talking with I think
Holly and of course when we got caught, Karen and I were talking.
Ethical dilemma, how do you catch yourself? Somehow it
happened. Honestly, Karen and I wanted to just sit out in the
open air and cuddle up together under the stars, but we would have got
caught with the cuddle up part. But Karen and I stretched out on
our backs in the grass side by side and watched the stars in the sky
for a little bit anyway. Yes, it was a rough night for both Karen
and I. We did see a shooting star though and so we both made a
wish. Yes, it was the same wish as always and as always, if you
say your wish, it won't come true.
Somehow we got through it. Karen and I were both
happy campers, but then we left the next day.
XXXI. Halloween.
Thanksgiving. Christmas 1978. 1979 too
Before Halloween 1978,
around October 20, Karen came in one day and had the new Carpenters’
single that she had her step cousin Wendy special order from
Woolworth’s. She had one of the record players from the school
and the adapter in the middle. So during lunch we played the
single for me and her. First was “I Believe You” and this was
when Karen told me the story of her and John Adrian. After
playing the song I told her, “It’s kind of majestic Not too bad.
Just not my thing.” And Karen told me about how she had fallen
for John (and of course my first name Adrian and his last name Adrian)
and how when he was asked to be with her or keep his job, John decided
to keep his job and ended up marrying someone else about three months
after him and Karen had broken up. Karen had told me how John had
always said the right things and she chose that song to do because she
was having a hard time trusting and believing guys after John saying
all those things (stars in your eyes, etc.) and then up and marrying
someone else three months later. And I was like, “That’s kind of
a bummer but at least he didn’t start seeing her until after you broke
up.” And Karen was like, “I kinda wonder about that. He was
from the UK and over there affair means out of wedlock while over here
it means cheating on someone. John had told his boss he was
having an affair with me and I am sure he meant it in the british way,
but sometimes I wonder..” And then I was like, “I noticed the
song kind of hit a note with you. What’s on the other
side?” So Karen flipped it over which was “B’Wanna She No Home”
and I was like, “This is cool. You sure this ain’t the A
side?” Karen was like, “Funny.” And part way through I
pulled out my plastic comb from my back pocket and started playing
along. After the song was over and for about a week and a half
later until Halloween, I kept talking in Tarzan type talk with stuff
like, “Me Tarzan. You Jane. Where B’Wanna, she no home?”
and “Psst, hey B’Wanna. No play cards with Cheetah. He
cheetahs.” And of course later, on my birthday (December 4+) and
a copy of Passage on the shelf with of course “B’Wanna…” being the
first song on that album. I was also into mostly psychadelic
music too and "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft" (which I
hadn’t
heard as the local radio station didn’t play that song) plus “All You
Get from Love Is A Love Song” (which they did play) and “Sweet Sweet
Smile”
which is mentioned later. Passage is still my favorite Carpenters
album. I also started joking with Karen that instead of living in
a cave it might be better in a Coldernell (watch old cartoons) or an
even bigger Frigidaire apartment (the cardboard box anyway). But
before getting to that…
Halloween 1978 was pretty
much my last 'trick or treat' time. I
was 13 and you start getting too old for that stuff. But then
too, Karen came into school all decked out as the Wicked Witch of the
West from the Wizard of Oz movie. Karen looked spectacular and
her costume was perfect with the green face paint and wart on her nose
and the candy cane stockings and big black hat and black
clothing. Karen tried to do the 'witches cackle' and "I'll get
you my pretties" a few times, but Karen still had her sweetheart voice
so it sounded a little off, but like always, Karen did her best.
I picked on her of course (I knew who she was by Halloween) and I
commented, "It's about time you took off your mask." I was
dressed as a pirate. Nothing elaborate. An added eye patch
and my bandana kept falling off. And of course sailor talk.
After school and about 6 o'clock was the Halloween event at the local
skating rink. I was there with my sister and my parents and then
I saw Karen show up so I took off with Karen and we walked around a
little bit. I definitely tried to keep my mother from seeing
Karen because I figured my mother would figure out who she was.
Of course everyone was in costumes but Karen and I were in regular
street clothes and we worked our way to the upper level of the rink
just above the changing room (to change from shoes or boots to ice
skates). The costume contest started and my sister was out there
dressed as an outhouse. I pointed my sister out to Karen and
Karen was like, "That's your sister? I think she could win
this." And they had the people walking around the rink in their
costumes and Karen and I were up top and Karen was doing her loud
whistle (where you put your pinkies inside the corners of your mouth)
and I was yelling out, "Outhouse, outhouse, outhouse". And Karen
and I would duck back out of sight and then back up to the railing and
whistles and more yelling. My sister won 1st place and got a blue
ribbon and a bag of candy and I believe a gift certificate. The
outhouse was 5 sheets of cardboard with a half moon cut out of the
front to see out of. Everyone got a kick out of it including the
judges. My sister was 11 years old and it was a bit awkward at
times because the outhouse was a bit bulky, but she managed. I
think the judge was in a Snoopy costume and during the walk around, the
judge would be next to one of the costumes with their hand up and
people would yell out. My sister in the outhouse costume
definitely got the loudest and most yells that year. Karen and I
both had a lot of fun that night, but we also tried to keep a low
profile so that Karen didn't get noticed. I have no idea how we
didn't get noticed with the whistling and yelling and such, but we
didn't.
Karen and I talked about Thanksgiving and that Karen was
going to be
going home for the weekend. We talked about turkey and cranberry
sauce and all the trimmings and Karen was definitely looking forward to
going home and seeing her family again and celebrating "Turkey Day"
with her family. Karen was used to Thanksgiving and being
thankful, but Karen was still in Corning and quite a few of the locals
celebrated Turkey Day here. Kumquats?
Green Raisin Salad? No thanks, just pass
the turkey. Turkey Day for those turkeys who feel they have
nothing to be thankful for.
And my 14th birthday on Monday, December 4, 1978. It
was also
Max's 41st birthday across the hall. Karen was exhausted as she
had flown out to LA and back the day before. Karen was like, "I
know what Max wants and I can sleep through that." But I had a
cupcake I believe with a candle on top. We lit and I blew out the
candle and I could see Karen on the other side trying not to be seen
blowing too. Of course the candle went out and Karen and I both
knew what I wished for. I believe lunch time started at about
noon thirty (12:30 pm) and I set my watch for I believe 1:10 pm and
Karen and I both put our heads down and we took a nap. My alarm
went off and we both woke up in time for the next period. Karen
just barely made it through the day, but she managed. We also
found out that we both drooled in our sleep too. We both woke up
to puddles on our desks. I know it was my birthday, but Karen and
I both left without our usual talk session after school that day.
If I remember right, the next day after school, Karen walked down with
me to Woolworth's and I got a record album. The album I got was
Totally Hot by Olivia Newton - John. I told Karen that the song
'A
Little More Love' reminded me of Karen. Now, stupid me, and
believe
me, stupid, did not listen to this wise woman that was with me named
Karen. Karen also noticed that they had Passage by The Carpenters
in
stock too at Woolworth's. In hind sight, 'Sweet Sweet Smile'
still
reminds me more of Karen than 'A Little More Love' does. And
Passage
is still my favorite Carpenters album. And Karen even offered to
autograph Passage for me if I bought it. But I bought Totally Hot
instead. But as always, Karen was right. And it wasn't the
autograph
or any of that, it was the truth that as usual, Karen knew me better
than I knew myself. And a funny part too, because in the middle
of January I came walking into homeroom and Karen looked at me and she
just said, "I know you've got a song stuck inside your head, don't
you?" And I was like, "Yeah, you know don't you?" And Karen
was like, "Yeah, and I think it's funny. I heard it on the radio
this morning too and I started laughing after I heard it because I knew
you heard it too. I warned you but you kept thinking that Olivia
song reminded you of me. Where's that Olivia song now, huh?
Oh well, you had your chance and now you can suffer. It serves
you right for not listening to me." And I was like, "You're
really enjoying this aren't you?" And of course she had that big
sweet sweet smile on her face which said it all. Can't argue with
that. Karen has been
the only person in my life
that has
been allowed to correct me if I made a mistake without feeling my
wrath, so to speak. I had several teachers embarrass themselves
in
front of the class by trying to 'correct me' and then the entire class
seeing me prove the teacher wrong and the teacher embarrassing
themselves. The embarrassments started with my second grade
teacher, Mrs. Mary Harris, when I put "Me" as my name in the name blank
on a test. As Mrs. Harris said, "Your name's not Me, change
it." And as I said, "If I'm not Me, who am I then?" and the whole
class laughed at her. And remember as my
second grade teacher also said, "Your name's not You either."
But as always, Karen was right, so Karen was allowed to correct me
without my embarrassment fee surcharge.
As far as Karen's 29th birthday on March 2nd? I am not positive
but I think Karen took a couple
days off so I didn't see her on her birthday, but I knew what she
wished for too.
And then I believe Karen's manager, Jerry Weintraub, shows up
at the
school on I believe Friday December 8, 1978. (I am not positive,
but I am pretty sure it was Jerry that showed up, but it may have been
Richard as well. Been quite a while.) Karen and Jerry flip
a coin and I believe it was heads she goes on without Richard and tails
the show gets cancelled. Jerry flipped it. Karen called
it. Karen did the Bruce Forsyth show without Richard.
It was a secret at the time but Karen told me in strict
confidence, "Richard has the DTs and is shaking really bad so he can't
perform." Karen wasn't really worried or
nervous about doing the show without Richard.
Karen had done things without Richard before and "the show must go on".
Karen was really
worried because Richard had the shakes really bad and Karen was hoping
that her brother was going to be all right. Karen also told me
that almost 5 years before Karen, Richard, their dad, and a cousin,
Mark, had
been out riding motorcycles and went off the beaten path. I
believe Karen said it was her idea to go off the beaten path for a
little adventure. They ran across another couple riders off the
beaten path and Richard got in an accident and hurt himself really bad
and broke one of his wrists and his leg and sprained his other
wrist. Karen said that if it hadn't
been for Richard doing what he did, someone might have been
killed. But after that, Richard got addicted to quaaludes and
Karen was worried about Richard and hoping that Richard got
better. Richard did a brave thing to help others and Karen was
hoping that Richard would be brave enough to help himself and get over
his addiction too. Karen was like, "It was my fault and I feel
bad that all this happened to my brother because I did something stupid
and didn't listen to the signs. But maybe after missing the show
my brother might realize that he needs some help finally and try to get
better. My brother was really brave and probably saved my life
because I didn't see those other riders and those other riders were
coming straight for me and Richard cut them off before they might have
killed me. I just hope my brother gets brave enough to fight this
addiction too." Karen had her step cousin
Wendy cover
for her during the week starting the 11th and Wendy had another teacher
cover her other teaching job at another school. I almost went
with Karen but unfortunately my parents had my birth certificate and I
couldn't have got a hold of my parents at the time. Karen
honestly was very nervous about the show and she also could not
pronounce Brooth Forthyth. So I had Karen say, "Peter Piper
picked a peck of pickled peppers." She said it. Then she
said, "Suzie sells seashells by the sea shore." She nailed it and
then she actually said, "Bruce Forsyth." And then I asked her to
repeat it and of course, "Brooth Forthyth." If you listen to the
show, Bruce said, "The sound is ace." Karen actually mentioned to
Bruce that she was nervous and usually Karen hearing my name, Ace,
would help calm her down. As far as the joke about the BF
show? Well, Karen being this unhip and square person wouldn't
realize that in porno slang, BF stands for 'bum f***' in british slang
and 'butt f***' in american slang. Or did she realize?
Shhh, I know she realized and she asked me about BF after she got back
just to be sure. It was an accident, but
since she was considered naive and
such, she was able to get away with it.
About 3 weeks before Christmas, Karen started getting
homesick.
Karen was used to being home for Christmas, but the Christmas school
break started only a couple days before Christmas. Christmas was
on a Monday. School was in session until Friday December 22
around 3 PM. Karen missed her family terribly during the 3 weeks
before Christmas. Karen and I went through almost all of the
Christmas songs several times, but Karen was used to Richard on the
piano and her singing carols with Richard. Karen missed her mom
and dad too. It just wasn't the same. Karen was staying
with her cousin Wendy and Wendy was in the Christmas spirit too, but
Karen was used to being home for the holidays and it was definitely
rough on her. The "no hug, no cuddle" rule was REALLY rough too
between us. Karen and I just barely made it through. Also,
Karen gave me a present and asked me to watch the Carpenters' Christmas
Special on TV. I had a 13" Emerson black and white TV and I
watched the special. If you watch the special, Karen puts a
present in the mailbox after singing "Merry Christmas Darling".
Another note, my pet name for Karen was Honey and Karen's pet name for
me was Darling after around mid October or such when Paul Williams
visited. The original 1970 video for that song had Karen putting
a wrapped pen & pencil set for her father in the mailbox. In
the 1978 special a present was wrapped in a glittery green and gold
type wrapper
and when I opened it in front of Karen before Karen left for Christmas
break, it was a fountain calligraphy pen with an ink well and an
instruction sheet on how to do calligraphy. Sadly, our family
moved on February 23, 1980 and I don't remember seeing the pen or ink
well after that. And also, Karen's many warnings to me before
Christmas, "Careful, you're almost standing under the mistletoe.
I keep moving it on purpose. I'm going to get you yet you little
sneak."
And of course, the school break lasted until after New Year
1979.
After Karen got back, Karen and I put on party hats and had the noise
blowers and drank our own toast (sh, Dom Perignon, her favorite) with
martini glasses since we weren't
able to be together for New Years. We both broke our glasses and
we both know what we wished for. Well, actually, Karen threw her
glass and it cracked and the stem broke and Karen was like, "Oh shoot"
and then I said, "I
got this" and I whipped my glass right at Karen's glass and both
glasses shattered into tiny pieces. We were still finding pieces
of glass here and there on the floor for about two weeks later.
And remember, Karen and I could
read each other's minds so we both know what we wished for and we both
wished for the same thing. Birthdays, New
Years, and the shooting star. Three wishes and the same wish each
time for both of us. And as you know, if
you say that wish,
it
won't come true. At the end of this day, Karen had kind of had a
little bit too much champagne and so I agreed to walk home with her
just in case. Karen didn’t want the champagne to go to waste so
she finished off what was left before we left school that day.
There wasn’t that much left (maybe a glass at the most) as Karen had
shared with several others throughout the day. Of course after we
started walking I couldn’t help but notice all the bushes along the way
(would make great hiding places except it was winter and the leaves
were gone so no lover’s hideaway). Karen was definitely not used
to drinking and it was a lot of fun. We both started out going
down the street and us both saying, “Step on a crack and break your
mother’s back” as we are kind of zig zagging down the sidewalk.
Then we came across a hopscotch on the sidewalk, so why not? I
was carrying Karen’s shopping bag so all was good as she kept saying
“oh shoot” as she would forget and step on the hopscotch square with
the stone in it. Oh well. Try it again. “Oops, oh
shoot”, good fun. Karen was a trip when sober and was a HUGE trip
(literally and figuratively) after she had been drinking. Luckily
she didn’t fall over but she was close a couple times. It was
about a four block walk and took us about fifteen minutes I
think. We got to her step cousin Wendy’s door and I was standing
there and talking with Karen and you just know that awkward scene at
the door where she’s been drinking and we both have the stars in our
eyes and no one else is around and… then Karen’s step cousin Wendy
opens up the door and said something like, “I just got done watching
the soaps and I opened up the door and it looks like there’s more
action going on outside my door than on the TV. Come on in…”,
yeah, one of those unexpected mood wrecker moments. No alcohol
hangover as Karen and I didn’t really drink that much, but Karen and I
had a kind of moody love hangover shared between us for the next couple
days. I got to meet Mush, Karen’s Malamute (Samoyed). Like
Karen said, “dogs are a good judge of character”. And Mush was
quite a character. I did my usual hold my hand out and such and
Mush was just clinging to Karen. Karen and I were trying to
figure out what was going on as usually dogs would jump up on me and
start licking me and such, but Mush was keeping close to Karen.
If being protective, dogs will give that growl sound and such, but Mush
wasn’t growling at me or such but just kind of being clingy with
Karen. If I would go behind Karen, Mush would go behind
too. Alongside, Mush would be alongside.
I stepped away too and Mush stayed by Karen. Usually if a
dog doesn't want somebody around someone and that someone steps away,
the dog will try to block that person from getting closer again.
Mush wasn’t
protective or such, just acting kind of weird. Then Karen and I
figured it out. Mush was kind of jealous and if Karen and I were
going to hug or such, Mush wanted in on it too. So long as Mush
could be in on the hugging or such (as Karen and I didn’t actually
hug), Mush was wanting to be the center of the hugging action by any
means possible. Mush could feel the love and the cuddles and Mush
didn’t want to be left out. Mush made it perfectly clear that if
Karen and I went anywhere that Mush was going along too. I also
got to hear Karen sing one of her favorite songs, "There's a kind of
Mush, all over the world tonight..." The rough part was that just
after we got in the house, you know how you show people around.
This is this. That is that. Well, just after we got in the
house and around the living room corner, Karen goes, "and these doors
that look like a closet are actually..." and Karen accidentally hits
the latch and the hideaway bed pops out. And of course it sticks
after it slams open. So Karen and I kind of struggle to get the
bed back up and Wendy is trying hard not to laugh at us as it was just
one of those awkward moments between Karen and I.
A small piece here after a lady on the internet was asking me if Karen
ever mentioned her. Her name was Edith Grace Mitchell I believe
and at first I hadn’t recognized the name. Then Edith Grace
mentioned her birthday was January 5 I believe. Then it kind of
rang a bell. Edith Grace had talked about a few things as far as
her mom and such, but things hadn't really rang a bell until she
mentioned the date (January 4 or 5 I believe). Anyway, she talked
to me around February 2021 on Facebook. Here it is March 16, 2021
and I remember why it rang a bell finally. It wasn’t actually
her, Edith Grace, but something Karen told me in January 1979 about
Karen needing to call a girl she usually called on the girl's birthday,
Edith Grace. Now the rest as why I remember is because Karen tied
a string around her finger to remind her to call Edith Grace in
1979. Karen had 2 strings at the time, one for Edith Grace and
another to remind her that Richard was scheduled to go into treatment
in Topeka Kansas on January 10th. But yes, Karen used to tie a
small string around her finger for reminders when needed. “Forget
me knots”.
The school year is divided into 6 semesters. The first
three
semesters I had sixth period lunch. This was rough on Karen and
I. The beginning of the day would drag on as we wouldn't see each
other most of the morning and then in the afternoon we were together
almost all of the time. Because of this, at the end of the day,
Karen and I were very dizzy and light-headed when the school day
ended. For the last three semesters, I had fifth period lunch
which broke the day up better and we wouldn't be so dizzy and
light-headed and floating after the school day ended. And during
lunch I usually just drank a couple white milks and Karen would usually
sip on her tea with honey and lemon in her classroom. On
occasion, Karen would have me get her a muffin or such from the
cafeteria, but usually that was only if Karen was feeling dizzy or a
little empty in her stomach. Once in a while we might also get an
ice cream sandwich or such just to have something different.
I would usually let Karen rip off a corner of the sandwich
if she wanted. Karen wasn't much for sweets so a corner would be
just
enough for her. A whole sandwich would be just too much.
But Karen and I would usually just sit in her room together across
from each other and at our desks and just talk
each other's ears off. Once in a while we might nap too. If
Karen was tired, she would usually get dark circles around her
eyes. Karen usually kept a cucumber in the refrigerator in the
lunch room and once in a while she would slice off a couple slices and
put those slices over her eyes. Of course with the mascara and
such, she would throw the cucumber slices away afterwards. But
honestly, Karen was wishing to avoid dealing with Max during lunch
break, so Karen and I started hanging out together during lunch breaks
not too long after the school year started.
And then came Valentine's Day 1979. Karen had told me,
"No
chocolates". So I handed Karen a long box that looked like a
scarf box, and I told her, "If the size or color isn't right, you can
take it back". Karen opened up the box which had a long-stemmed
red rose inside. Karen cried and said, "Thank you. This is
what I wanted from you" through her tears. Karen snipped the base
of the rose and Karen had the rose in a vase on her desk for about a
week. Then Karen brought in some waxed paper and pressed the rose
between the waxed paper under about 8 heavy books. Karen was very
happy. Me too. I had walked into the florist two days
before and that was the last red rose that they had.
And as the florist said, "Everyone has been calling and coming in to
get a dozen roses, and as you can see, I only have the one red rose
left. You have been the only one looking for just one red
rose. That I have."
And because I don't know where to put
this.
Sometime near
the end of the school year, Karen ended up in the local
hospital. I am thinking possibly early to
mid May, but not really sure. It was on a
Monday and Karen's married step cousin Wendy
came in
as a substitute teacher that day. Wendy told me that Karen was in
the
hospital and the room number. After school I went and visited
Karen. I think it was just after I entered the room and saw Karen
there that the nurse on duty looked at us and said something like, “You
two make a cute couple if you don’t mind me saying so. I’ll pull
the curtain so that you two can have some privacy” and then the nurse
pulled the curtains and left the room. I don't remember exact
details about our talk together but I do
remember Karen laying there in a hospital gown in a hospital bed and
Karen saying, "I don't want you to see me like this. Just go
away."
And I remember telling Karen something like, "You know me; I don't care
what you look like so long as I can see and be with you. You know
you
could be a beached whale for all I care so long as it's you." And
Karen was crying and like, "They had to pump my stomach. I didn't
mean to do it. As I was getting ready to pass out I kept thinking
about you and me and I didn't want it to end so I yelled help and Wendy
heard me and called the ambulance. And then Max not wanting us to
talk. I just lost it." And I was like, "I understand and
we'll get through this. We always do, but I need you to stick
around so you can see how this all works out. You'll see."
And Karen was like, "I know. I missed seeing you this morning too
and
I
know you missed me or else you wouldn't be here. I also told them
that it was an accident and that I was goofing around and I just tipped
the bottle back and I didn't realize it was more than one pill that
came out until it was too late." And I was like,
"Don't ask me how, but I think they believed you. I don't see
anyone from the funny farm here. You
know I missed you and you know I have been thinking of you all day and
hoping you
were all right and you can tell I'm glad to see you again" and I had
tears in my eyes and Karen was like, "I know. I can see your
thoughts
remember. I guess I really messed up didn't I?" And I was
like, "Not
from where I'm sitting. If you had really messed up, I wouldn't
be
sitting here with you right now. You came close though.
Darn
close. But really, don't worry about Max, when the time comes
I'll take care of him. And if you want to talk and such you don't
have to put yourself in the hospital just so we can talk. Just
talk. If Max starts something again, I'll take care of it.
And you
know darn well if this happens again, I would come and see you
again. So
if you don't want me seeing you like this..., but sometimes I guess it
just can't be helped. Just so you know." And Karen was
like, "I
know. And just so you know, I'm really glad you're here."
And then I
think Karen pulled the covers off and I think she had her clothes on
under the gown. And then I believe Karen said, "The doctor said I
could leave any time so long as someone was with me. Wendy
doesn't get
out until 5 or so." So, if I remember right, we left. But
Wendy had bought bulk aspirin in a big jug and had been putting the
aspirin in an old prescription bottle as the jug was a bit heavy and
bulky to lift. Karen had been up all night and just fell asleep
not passed out. Overdosing on aspirin? Yes, the doctor
figured it was definitely an accident and not an attempted overdose on
aspirin. Free to go. Well, almost, the doctor came in and
talked with Karen about finding the aspirin with the aspirin markings
and figuring it was just an accident, but the doctor was very concerned
about Karen's irregular heartbeat and mentioned that she should look
into getting a pacemaker. They had Karen hooked up to an EKG and
Karen and I kind of joked that it sounded like a game of Pong going
on. But honestly, Karen's heart was not beating right and the
doctor printed out a slip from the EKG and put it in the folder before
letting us go. The doctor said he had actually just held her over
not because of the aspirin pills, but because he was concerned about
her heartbeat and he understood about her saying no to a pacemaker, but
he felt it his duty to at least bring it up again and ask. After
Karen said what she said about it being in God’s hands, I said to
Karen, “Well maybe God is saying that you need this now.” or something
like that. And Karen was very adamant about if God wanted it
fixed that God would fix it Himself without any help. That was
that. Karen
told me later after we left the hospital that the reason why she hated
going to a hospital was because even if she had a runny nose or
something, they would constantly try to ask her to get a pacemaker put
in. Karen always refused but was also worried that if maybe
sometime when she was passed out or something, that they might put in a
pacemaker without her permission while she was passed out. But
Karen and I would joke around once in a while if she pressed on her
neck or her wrist and I would be like, "playing Pong again?" And
she'd be like, "Yup" with a smile on her face. After this Karen’s
step
cousin Wendy started calling Karen Dumb Ass as Wendy said, “Only a dumb
ass would try and overdose on aspirin and now I gotta keep a lock on
the medicine cabinet because of your dumb ass.” And later that
week, Buddy Ebsen visited us at the school and I started getting called
Smart Ass after my comment to Buddy of “Like she said, because if I
said it, I’d get my mouth washed out with soap.” So Dumb Ass and
Smart Ass as Karen still came first around the middle of May
1979. And we all know that “No one likes a Smart Ass, right Dumb
Ass?” Shared magic moments.
XXXII. A new student
We had a new student in
school named Jay. Jay was a good guy and
was into drawing at the time. Jay also played bass guitar too if
I
remember right. I remember Karen telling me (and I knew who Karen
was at the time) that it reminded her of when her and Richard moved
from Connecticut to Downey California and Karen was wondering if Jay
was doing all right and adjusting and such, because Karen remembered
that it was difficult when her and Richard moved because being the new
kids, you don't really know anyone and such and there's always a clique
that makes it tough for new people. And I was like, "I think Jay
is doing pretty well. He's a good guy. He likes to
draw. We've already talked a couple times. He seems to be
doing all right so far. This area really isn't like other areas
and most people get along and such. We don't really have
cliques and such here. Everyone just kind of does their own
thing. The Houghton's mansion is that mansion
just down the street from the school. Fred, you know the student
Fred, actually cuts the grass there and such." About a week after
Jay started, Karen, Jay and I were in the classroom and Karen kind of
had that "get lost" look in her eye, so I went to the bathroom.
Jay had a brother named John, I believe, that played bass guitar for a
heavy metal band called The Rods that was doing well and touring over
in Japan at the time. Karen was like, "If we get back over to
Japan, I'll have to look their manager up and see if they want some
exposure with us." Of course with Karen
teaching at the time, it wasn't going to be anytime soon, but it's the
thought that counts I guess.
XXXIII. The French
Connection - Mrs. Woeppel
I had a french teacher
named Mrs. Woeppel.
She was a nice
lady. But
Corning is a small area and some people talk. And some talkers
sometimes look to create problems for others to solve. Anyway,
for an
activity for french class my french teacher set up a restaurant type
setting and of course everything done was in french. It was done
either during or after school as a school activity this one day and my
mother and father were working. The other kids' parents were
there but
mine weren't. Another thing was that the french teacher had asked
us
to dress up for this. So I wore my turquoise blue suit and such
but
others had came in less 'dressy' attire. So Mrs. Woeppel seeing
that
my parents weren't there and that I was kind of overdressed had me wait
on her table. Things were fine and nothing out of the ordinary
that I
was aware of. But people talk. And of course someone said
to Karen
that I had waited on Mrs. Woeppel's table and that I was wearing a suit
and such and of course this someone was trying to make Karen think that
there might be something going on between Mrs. Woeppel and me because I
was all dressed up and such. The next day a big mess that I am
not
sure about details because Karen and Mrs. Woeppel both asked me not to
get too involved, so I didn't. I never really got the full story
from
anyone that I can remember. Anyway, The next day Karen heard what
someone said about the restaurant thing the night before and Karen went
to talk to Mrs. Woeppel about it. The problem was that Karen was
cutting her lemon in the morning for her tea and forgot that she had
her knife in her hand when she went to talk to Mrs. Woeppel after Mrs.
Woeppel passed by Karen's room. A big mess. Someone started
yelling
at Karen and Karen started yelling back and of course with the knife in
Karen's hand, yes, a big mess. No one was hurt or anything and
Karen
wasn't looking to hurt anyone, it was just that with a knife in her
hand, others were trying to make a big deal out of it. Mrs.
Woeppel
also thought something was a bit fishy too because whoever was behind
the 'story' that was being told was saying things that didn't seem to
match what happened between Mrs. Woeppel and Karen. The story was
that
Karen was sneaking up behind and looking to attack Mrs. Woeppel in the
hallway with a butcher knife for trying to steal her man or boy or
boyfriend or whatever I was in this 'story'. The truth was that
supposedly Karen came out of her room to ask Mrs. Woeppel if I had been
the waitor at Mrs. Woeppel's table and if Mrs.
Woeppel had heard the rumor 'story' as well.
The actual incident I believe
(I
wasn't there) was that when Karen came into the hallway to talk to Mrs.
Woeppel, someone started screaming at Karen because Karen had a knife
and Karen went to yell back and then Karen realized that she had her
paring knife in her hand and Karen left the hallway and then came back
after putting the knife away. I believe it was said that Karen
had a
butcher knife (in the story) while I believe Karen and Mrs. Woeppel
both said it was a paring knife. I remember Mrs. Woeppel being
concerned not because of the knife, but because the story that was
circulating around didn't seem to match what Mrs. Woeppel and Karen
knew had happened. I remember Mrs. Woeppel and Karen both talking
with
me about it separately, but neither were really telling me what
happened nor was said between Karen and Mrs. Woeppel, just that things
were getting all blown out of proportion by others and that it seemed
like a possible set up or such. But I remember this as being
possibly
the only incident that Karen and I never fully talked about because
both Karen and Mrs. Woeppel were both worried that someone might be
trying to get Karen fired and they didn't want me getting possibly
caught in the middle of this mess. After this, another 'story'
about how I was having a threesome with Karen and Mrs. Woeppel.
This really raised eyebrows with Karen and Mrs. Woeppel as Karen had
already told Mrs. Woeppel that I wasn't looking for anyone because I
had told Karen before that "I'm not looking for anyone because every
time I try to make something happen, it doesn't work out right."
I definitely wasn't looking for a threesome for sure. Karen could
also read my thoughts and Karen knew I was just a one woman man
too. That one woman was Karen, but I was too young and Karen
would get in trouble. But after all this, Karen and I were not
talking much to each other any more for the next week or two
possibly. Someone had also started a rumor mill nickname for me
of 'Super Stud' at the time as well. Right, OK, this little dorky
kid with glasses was stringing women along and such. Yes, even
Mrs. Woeppel was realizing that someone really had some wild and crazy
ideas for sure. I think Mrs. Woeppel and Karen had a private joke
between themselves at the time of who's turn it was going to be to
watch during this threesome that night with Super Stud. Karen and
I were always
ones to joke, but Mrs. Woeppel was worried because with the rumors and
what was being said, someone just was not thinking straight and Mrs.
Woeppel was hoping that things would not get any more out of control
than they had already been. So we all kind of kept quiet about
things hoping that this rumor mill would stop before anything serious
happened.
XXXIV. Marcel Marceau
visits
At some point during the
year (I believe after the 'Max earthquake'
incident, but not sure) Karen found out that she had an expense account
with the school for teaching expenses through the principal, John
Heib. Since Karen didn't know about it, she hadn't used the
account and she really didn't want to anyway. But then Karen was
teaching about expressive writing and she thought about doing something
a little different to make it more interesting. After Karen asked
the principal if it was alright to do something like that, the
principal explained that Karen had a school expense account and that
the principal thought it was an excellent idea if she could do it and
she could use the expense account to pay for it. The idea was
that Karen could get a hold of Marcel Marceau, the mime, and have a
more visual presentation to go with the expressive writing discussion
she had planned. Karen was actually going to pay for it out of
her own pocket because it was an opportunity for her to work with
Marcel. After contacting Marcel's representative, Marcel was more
than happy to try this idea as well. Marcel was either in Chicago
or Los Angeles at the time and flew back to Los Angeles or Chicago
afterwards. Karen got Marcel the airline tickets and also met
Marcel at the airport and brought him into the school. Marcel
wore his horizontal striped black and white shirt and face paint while
Karen wore a horizontal red and black striped shirt and a beret
(hat). Originally, no one knew that it was Marcel Marceau that
was there, but eventually some people found out that he was
there. But anyway, Karen and Marcel worked up an act where Karen
would talk about expressive writing and Marcel would use facial
expressions to help demonstrate what expressive writing was really
about, emotions. Karen would talk about the emotions, while
Marcel would demonstrate those emotions. Karen also worked in
descriptive writing too where you write to describe what is
happening. Was the mime trapped inside a big box? Little
box? Was there even a box at all and could it have been just the
mime's imagination (and Marcel points to his own head)? It was
actually a well thought out lecture by Karen and Marcel and worked very
well. Karen was also a little worried because Marcel was french
and Karen didn't speak french very well. Karen asked Mrs. Woeppel
if she would help out and Mrs. Woeppel was more than happy to help out
as needed. Marcel actually spoke english very well, but it was
good to have a backup plan just in case. Marcel wore his makeup
all day at the school, but when Karen picked Marcel up at the airport,
Marcel didn't have on his makeup or costume, nor did Marcel have on his
costume or makeup when he left to go to Chicago or Los Angeles.
And of course during lunch Marcel and Karen talked together and I was
the gopher (go for this, go for that) as usual. During the talk I
remember Marcel saying that he always enjoyed education as it was his
teacher's question that was what gave Marcel his 'man in a box' idea
that got Marcel recognized as a mime. Marcel and Karen also both
agreed with each other that the hardest part of doing a performance was
the ending. You have all of these smiling, happy and wonderful
people enjoying the show, but the show can't go on forever and will end
at some point. You don't meet most of these
people and you always hope
that they stay happy even after the show is over and that the people in
the audience take away a good feeling when the show is over. Yes,
Marcel and Karen were both down to earth and caring people and both of
them were having a great time that day working in a classroom instead
of being separated by a stage and such.
XXXV. Patti again
(1981). A substitution, kind of. Goodbyes. Life lessons
The meeting with Paul
Williams kind of
summed it up like my teacher said it would. I definitely put all of the
pieces together and my homeroom and english teacher definitely was the
one and only Karen Carpenter. I graduated high school in
1983 and my teacher's cousin, Patti, graduated from the same school in
1981. In 1981, I saw Patti again I believe in french class with Mrs. /
Mme.
Luce. Patti told me how she had gone out
to California the year before to see her cousin, Karen, get married to
a guy she had only known for three months. Patti also told me that the
family was kind of worried about Karen and her recent marriage to a guy
that she hardly even knew. But the family wished for Karen to be
happy.
Patti also said, "Karen asked me to talk to you about mud pies for some
reason. Do you care to explain?" Of course I snuck away and
didn't explain. Patti also said, "Why don't you talk about
her? She still loves you you know." and I was like, "I know, but
I'm still too young." Patti was actually a bit more heavy set
than
Karen, but was more of a girly girl type than a tomboy. I did not
see Patti again after she graduated in 1981.
The
day
Karen left, Karen said there would be a substitute and the substitute
would finish the year
out and that Karen, Miss Bihuniak, would not be returning. The
substitute finished teaching at the middle
school for the last couple weeks. The
substitute was nicknamed 'the blonde bimbo' or 'the air head' and was
actually Karen with
her normal voice and without all that extra stuff she wore as Miss
Bihuniak. So on Miss Bihuniak's last day of classes, she
announced to the
class that she was leaving and not returning for the rest of the
year. When she made the announcement, a girl behind me said,
"She's probably going to Bellevue." And I was just upset, not
because Karen was leaving (because Karen didn't actually leave), but I
kind of turned around and said back to
the
girl in an angry voice,
"Well, she's standing right there, why don't you just ask her instead
of saying stuff behind people's
backs?". Of course the girl didn't ask and my teacher was kind of
shaken up a little because I had a bit of anger in my voice and Karen
was just worried that I might 'spill the beans'. That dream
was not Bellevue that I was aware of. Karen
told me that she had been going back and forth driving
five hours to New York City for the last few weekends and that she was
very exhausted again. By the last day of school (I think she
played the substitute for about three weeks) Karen had a drawer full of
AirHeads candy. Karen was well-loved as Miss Bihuniak as Miss
Bihuniak was a very modest and very down to earth person. As a
substitute (I believe Miss Carpenter was her substitute name) she was
well-loved again for her sense of humor and silliness. But still
quite a few kids did miss Miss Bihuniak and her sensibility, but oddly,
Miss Carpenter, even though whacky, still seemed to have that same
problem solving ability Miss Bihuniak had, but it was just a little
more off beat and zany was all.
On the last day of school, June 22, 1979, she also said
that she wasn't very good at
goodbyes and actually hated goodbyes. And I was like, "Me too,
but I know you will always be in my thoughts, you are a hard person to
forget. You may not be there, but I feel that you will always be
with me somehow. I know I am going to mope around because I will
miss you actually being here. But I also know that when I think
of you it will be like you are here with me and I will get over
it. We had a lot of great times together and I hope that you have
many more." And then I was like, "Yuck, I hate that mushy stuff
which is why I hate goodbyes too. But it is how I really feel and
you know I wish you the best in all that you do wherever and whatever
that may be. And yeah, I had thought about stowing away in your
suitcase, but you didn't bring it with you, so I can't." And she
was like, "It is actually out in the car and I know you would have
tried to stow away, but I don't think you would fit. I did get a
lot of souvenirs while I was here. I could barely get my suitcase
shut and I had to sit on it to get it to latch. I am really going
to miss you too. You are really something." And I was like,
"So are you. You are really something too. We should go now
so you can get around and make sure you have everything before you
leave. I really can't hug you or such still because that desire
is still too strong in both of us. But I can blow you a
kiss." And then I blew her a kiss and then
she caught it and blew
it back to me and then I
said "I love you more" and then I made a quick exit. And then
Karen
said, "You little sneak." And then Karen stood outside her door
and
yelled down the hall, "I love you more than more." And Karen and
I
continued yelling back and forth on the stairs "I love you more" stuff
and we were
laughing back and forth until I got passed the outside door and left
and Karen went back into her room to get the rest of her stuff before
she left.
I also never told anyone
else that our teacher, Miss Bihuniak, was actually Karen
Carpenter. Patti Carpenter already knew anyway. Karen was
actually my eighth grade english teacher
that taught me about similes and metaphores and puns and such.
Next to my fourth grade teacher, Mark Bachman, who was my original
'nice guy' role model, Karen was probably the second most influential
teacher I had. Not because of her being a celebrity or such, but
because of all the 'life lessons' that happened during this time.
Julie 'the Family Jewels' Sage was still my greatest influence though
with my nickname and all that happened with my new nickname, Ace.
Julie was the person where I figured out the most valuable life lesson,
"How would you feel if someone did to you what you just did to them?"
after me and Julie talking about our parents and such and how, when we
grew up, we did not want to be like our parents had been.
But Karen was the one who came along and pretty much tied
everything together between the 'nice guy' and 'you shouldn't do things
to others that you wouldn't like done to you'.
I had the knowledge, but Karen was the person that I learned to apply
that knowledge with.
XXXVI. The warning.
Following directions. Moving along.
I remember now on July 8,
2019, why there was an
extra teacher now with
Miss Bihuniak at the end of the year. Miss Bihuniak did actually
finish out the year with a monitor that did have specific instructions
as far as what to do and why the monitor was there. Honestly,
everyone with a shred of decency close your eyes now and walk
away. Skip to the next paragraph. Also, remember, people
make mistakes. If a person learns from their mistake, they are
not afraid to admit what they did and what they learned. If a
person denies a mistake, it is almost certain that mistake
will be repeated. Myself included. It would be a mistake
for myself
not to remember this incident. From roughly 1979 to 2019, I did
forget. For most of you, honestly, skip over this
paragraph. One
person, Maximilian Adalbert Baer Junior, made a HUGE mistake with me
that led to my last words I remember saying to him being, "...don't
you
ever come within arms reach of me or Karen again or I'll kill you and
you know it..." And
after remembering the rest of the stuff written in the rest of this
paragraph, those words still hold true to me. I said what I meant
and
I meant what I said in 1979 and it now still holds true today. To
date, I do not think that Max has ever owned up to his mistake. I
am
pretty sure that Max has probably forgotten after 40 years and that is
fine with me. Another mistake to ANYONE reading this except
Maximilian
Adalbert Baer Junior would be to mention this incident to Max without
Max mentioning it first. I am hoping that Max forgot about this
like I
had for 40 years myself. This memory has always been stored in
pieces in my mind. I had to break it up because of the deep
emotion involved. I am going to do my best here to pick up the
pieces and put them back together again as best as I can. After
40 years stuff is probably missing and some of the
stuff may not have been stored accurately to begin with. I am
going to
do my best though. My mistake would be not
remembering the
last
words I spoke to Max if I ever see him again and come within arms
distance of him and the reasons behind those words. The reader's
mistake would be trying to use this information to judge others.
Unless you were personally involved in this incident which is myself,
Maximilian Adalbert Baer Junior, John Heib, or Karen Carpenter, or the
monitor, kindly keep your mouth shut and mind your own business.
The
past can not be undone, only remembered. Honestly, you have been
warned if you proceed reading further and not skipping to the next
paragraph and do not keep it to yourself about what you read
here. If
it does not involve you personally, stay out of it or do not read any
further and skip to the next paragraph. If
worst comes to worst, VERY strong sexual content and VERY strong
language. Final warning.
Last chance to turn away. Too late now after this. You
can't say I didn't warn you. For
the rest, here is what actually happened that I can remember.
Karen
was sitting
at her desk and I was in my chair on the other side. We were just
talking across her desk like normal. Mr. Baer comes charging in
and
then says "I warned you not to talk to him again and I meant it."
And
then he picks Miss Bihuniak up and spreads her out on the desk and lifts
her skirt up and pulls her panties down and starts
to take his belt off and undo his pants and starts to mount
her. Then Mr. Baer says, "Come on. Right now. Right
in front of him
or I turn you in. Let's see how much he loves you after we do it
right
in front of him. You see boy, this is how you love a woman.
Come on over here and I'll show you how it's done. I'll even let
you take over if you want. Come on over here. What you got
ain't love boy. I'll show you what love is boy. This is
love." And while Mr. Baer is saying this, Karen is going, "No,
please don't. No. No. Get
off of me. No. No. Don't do this to me.
Please. Get off of me.
Ace please help me." And as I hear Karen and Max saying what they
are
saying, I started saying, "Leave her alone. She said no.
Leave her
alone. Get off of her now. I mean it. I've had
enough. Get off of
her now. Enough." And then I remember me being about 100
pounds
soaking wet grabbing Mr. Baer while reaching over Miss Bihuniak's book
rack and grabbing him by the shirt with my left arm and slamming his
300 plus pound self against the wall with a loud thud and you could
literally hear stuff in all the rooms of the school falling over and
glass breaking.
It literally shook the whole building. I held him
up against the wall with my left hand and my right hand with a fist
raised and ready to finish him off and I said, "How many times do we
have to say enough? Enough!" (note, it could have been
'stop it',
'no', or whatever, but I think I said 'enough'). And then from
behind me I heard Karen say, "No Ace don't". And then I let
him go
and walked over to the chair and sat down again opposite Karen.
And
then Mr. Baer put his belt
back on
and redid his pants and pointed over at Karen and said, "OK, you asked
for it. I told you
don't
ever say no to me." And then he turns to me and says, "I'll be
right
back and don't you dare say a word about this or else I'll have her
arrested and you won't see her ever again. I
was only trying to help you out boy." And I
said, "I don't need your kind of help, but
don't
you ever come within arms reach of me or Karen again or I'll kill you
and you know it. I'm underaged and she
would get into trouble if I did what you were just doing. Not me
getting into trouble, her you dumb ass. Is
that what you really want? Her getting into trouble. Unlike
you, I care about her you f***ing dumb ass. Don't you f***ing get
it yet? I don't want to f*** her like you've been doing; I want
to make love to her. Champagne, candles, the whole nine
yards. Go do what you feel you gotta
f***ing do. Go on, get the f*** out of my
sight you chicken sh*t." And Mr. Baer
left the room
and went down the hall and down the stairs. Karen
was still laying there on her back on the desk with her legs dangling
over the side. I said to Karen, "I
can't look at you right now because you do not want to see
my eyes right now. My eyes are pure anger. All I can think
of is killing him right now. That
is why I am looking away. You definitely
do not want to see them right now. My eyes are pure evil. Are
you
alright?" And she said, "No. This is why I have been trying
to avoid you for the last few weeks. He's gonna have me fired and
I
won't
ever see you again. I don't care about losing my job. They
have
strict rules about teachers and students here. I'm going to miss
you." And I was like, "How long has he been doing this?"
And she
said, "Since the beginning of the year. That's why he had you
leave
the room all those times. Do you still love me?" And I was
like, "Of
course I still love you, you didn't do anything wrong, how could I not
love you? But yes, I knew too because I saw the other kids
looking
through the window in the door while I was sitting outside all those
times. I knew you couldn't tell me, but like you know too, I
don't get
jealous. And you know too, I was never after you for just
sex. I
want the
whole package. Everything." And she was like, "Thanks, me
too; I want everything too. I need
to get up before Max returns. What took
you so long?" And I was like, "I knew you two had
some kind of agreement between you and I didn't want him to think it
was because I was jealous or such. For some strange reason it
just
clicked in my head that Max had broke whatever the agreement was and I
could intervene now, so I did." And she was like, "I'm glad you
did. I figured that you would need to run
out and get some help but I guess you didn't need any. Are you
alright?" And I'm
like, "Not really. When they get back I'll probably be going to
jail after Max is dumb enough to come near me again. I
was actually a fighter as a kid before becoming an egghead or whatever
I am now. You losing
your job and me going up the river, we're a lovely couple aren't
we?
I know it was rough for you getting up just now
but thanks
for sitting down because Max would have probably tried to say I did
that to you." Because of this being
'unreadable' and other parts being
'readable' I need to mention a couple other things here. Later,
the
principal, Mr. Heib, mentions an old 'rape kit' to Karen as a
possibility and asked Karen in all seriousness if Karen wanted to call
the police and report it. Mr. Heib would definitely back her up
on
reporting it, but also stated that he would let Karen make the decision
about it. Mr. Heib said that he knew Karen had been raped and Mr.
Heib was almost in tears because he knew she was in pain when he talked
to her. Karen explained that she
didn't want to take a chance of
having adverse publicity and such and that Karen felt that the problem
had been dealt with anyway and that the cops would probably make a
bigger mess than what was already there. Also, Karen was wearing
red
panties on this day because when Mr. Heib came close to Karen's desk,
Karen and I both kind of kicked her panties out of sight under her desk
so that the principal didn't see them. I think he saw them
anyway, but
he didn't mention anything about it. I didn’t really see anything
between Karen and Max, but I had heard enough. And yes, Max could
have tried to file assault charges against me, but really, between the
size difference and my being a minor, any judge would have tossed it
out at the time.
XXXVII. Hoping for a
miracle. The principal, John Heib.
And then I continued, "I
think they're coming down the hall now and I guess we'll just have to
wait and see. We definitely need a miracle right now." And
she said, "I was thinking that we could use a miracle right now
too."
And
then about a minute later Max and Mr. Heib
come in
the door and they both stand by the door. Mr. Heib says, "I was
coming
up the stairs anyway because I thought the upstairs boiler may have
blown up or something. There was a loud bang and some
yelling. Is everyone
alright?"
And we were all like, "Yes." And I was like, "I don't know what
it was
Mr. Heib, but it sure shook the building didn't it?" And Mr. Heib
said, "You're Bud's boy, Ace, aren't you?" And I said, "Yes I
am".
And Mr. Heib said, "That explains it. I think it was a lot of air
in
the pipes again. We'll have to have maintenance look at it
tomorrow."
And Max sticks his
finger out and said, "I warned you Karen. Unsupervised. He
caught you
two finally."
and
points at Karen and then to me. Then Mr. Heib speaks up, "That's
enough
Max. I'll do
the warning around here." And then Mr. Heib says, "Karen I can
tell
you are not alright, but I need to ask you anyway, are you
alright?"
And Karen says, "No, you're going to fire me aren't you?" And
Karen is
in tears. And then Mr. Heib (John) says, "Well, I think this has
gone
on long enough. I have known about you two talking for quite a
while
now as I pass by your room once in a while to make sure things are
alright. I have also heard several of your conversations Ace and
Karen
and I can honestly say that you two make Romeo and Juliet look like a
children's book and I honestly used to sneak up here and listen to you
two
talk because I really enjoyed hearing how you two were dealing with
your problems and trying to solve them together. I wish me and my
wife
were more like you two. And like you, I didn't want anyone
getting
into trouble and I still don't. As far as being unsupervised, I
just
told you that I have been watching you two so I can not honestly say
that you two have been unsupervised. That is going in my
report. I don't have a reason to
fire you
Karen. You did nothing wrong here. Ace on the other hand,
did you
threaten Mr. Baer?" And I was like, "Yes, I did. I told Mr.
Baer that
if he ever came within arms length of me or Miss Bihuniak again, I
would kill him." And Mr. Heib said, "Did your dad ever tell you
about
the time he cleaned my clock because I was mouthy to your mom?
Well,
he cleaned my clock and I learned not to be so mouthy. I learned
a
valuable lesson that day from your dad and I still remember it to this
day. And I must now say that I do not want to hear what actually
happened here just a little while ago because I feel there would
definitely be a lot of extra paperwork than there is going to be
already. I also have a feeling that I would have to call the cops
and
we would be out a science teacher." And then Mr. Heib looked over
at
Max and Max had his head down. And then Mr. Heib continued, "If I
let
Ace loose right now, that would be a sh*t ton of paperwork and the
school would be out a science teacher and I definitely don't want that
either. Yes, Ace, your dad cleaned my clock but good and he
didn't
look nearly as pissed off as you do right now. I'm gonna
take your
word for it Ace. Your dad was always good on his word
too. And
Max, your dad was a professional boxer, wasn't he?" And Max said,
"Yes, World Champeen (champion)." And Mr. Heib said, "That's what
I
thought. Actually, I took boxing while I was in college
myself.
Fascinating sport and I actually liked it as it allowed me to get out
some of my aggressions at the time. Ace's dad was a southpaw and
when
he hit me, he hit me with what is known as an overhand cross. It
is
illegal in the boxing ring, but me and Ace's dad weren't in the
ring.
He missed by about a half inch or I wouldn't be talking here right
now. I have always been grateful that he missed and I got a
second
chance. Ace, on the other hand is a different story. Ace's
records
indicate that he is ambidextrous and can use both hands equally.
I am
not sure what that would equate to, only that I wouldn't want to be the
one to find out. I still love the sport, but I feel I have said
enough
about boxing for now. I had hoped that I wouldn't have to step
in, but
now
I feel I must for Karen's safety especially. I am going to fill
out
the paperwork and have a monitor assigned to you, Karen, as a
precaution. The monitor will have specific instructions which I
will
tell you all now. Please listen up carefully and if you have any
questions or comments, feel free to speak up. The monitor is to
report
to me if Max comes anywhere near you Karen, at any time, for any
reason, this monitor is to let me know immediately. Is that
understood
Max?" And Mr. Baer (Max) said, "Yes." and shook his head.
And then
Mr. Heib continued, "As far as Ace and Karen talking, the monitor will
also have specific instructions that you two can say whatever you want
to each other so long as the monitor is present. The monitor is
not
there to spy on you two, but I feel a monitor is needed for Karen's
safety right now. As far as Ace and Max, I will just give some
advice
for you two now and I hope it sinks in. If I were Max, when
science
class begins, I would be sitting in my chair and away from the door
until after Ace comes in. If I were Ace, I would probably want to
sit
by the door and away from Max and leave as soon as class is over.
While class is in session, if I were Max, I definitely would not come
within arms length of Ace during class. I would know
better. This
isn't jealousy that I see in Ace. I see rage which is a whole
'nother
animal altogether. I would definitely not like to see that rage
unleashed. Is that understood Max and Ace?" And we both
shook our
heads yes and I said, "Yes, definitely Mr. Heib, understood. I'll
move
by the door." And Mr. Heib said, "Thank you Ace. And you
Max?" And Max
just said, "Understood." And then Mr. Heib just said, "I'll have
everything in place tomorrow and we'll all talk in the morning
again.
I think now we ought to call it a day and you three head home and I'll
get everything set up for tomorrow. Just as a precaution, Max,
you
need to leave with me first. Ace and Karen, I am going to close
the
door. Wait until I come back and open the door and then you two
can
leave. Do not open the door or leave under
any circumstances until I
come back even if someone knocks. And stay away from the door
just in case. Is that understood Ace and Karen?" And Karen
and
I both
said "Yes" and shook our heads yes. Then Mr. Heib said, "Come
on Max, let's go." And then Mr. Heib and Mr.
Baer (Max)
left and then we heard the doors close and then I looked over at Karen
and her eyes were just beaming in a good way. And then I said, "I
didn't want to say anything, but I have seen Mr. Heib by the door
several times listening in on us with a smile on his face. I
figured
everything would be alright. I know you're not OK, but are you
feeling
better now?" And she was like, "Thank you. I really thought
it was
all over. Here's another extra vocabulary word for you, ecstatic,
that's as close as I can come to how I feel right now. You
knew?" I
was like, "Actually, me and Mr. Heib never talked, but I knew if he
disapproved he would have stepped into the room while we were
talking and said something to us.
He smiled at me many times and I am pretty sure that he really liked us
talking because he always seemed to have a smile on his face when he
walked by. A few times he actually stood by the door, and
listened to
us while your chair was turned the other way. He's a really nice
guy
actually. He can be mean when he has to be though." And she
was like,
"You're not mad at me for Max are you?" And I was like, "That was
Max's fault. I can't be mad at you anyway for anything. I
actually
felt sorry for you. I wanted to help, but I knew you had to deal
with
it in your own way without me interfering. We're both a lot alike
as
you know." And she was like, "I know, we both know and it's still
weird." And I was like, "Not really weird to me now, it's
actually
kind of wonderful." And she was like, "Yeah, weird in a wonderful
way." And I was like, "Exactly, you're always right." And
she said,
"If you know what's good for you I am." And then we both kind of
laughed and then Mr. Heib opened the door and let Karen and me
out. We
both said, "Thanks, Mr. Heib" (actually I think
Karen said "Thanks John.") at the same time and
he smiled, then he
also said, "Karen, if you have any more troubles definitely let me
know. I wish you had come to me sooner with this, but I
understand.
Also, you are not supposed to know this, but the reason I have been
passing by is because someone sent a note to the school board saying
you two were having inappropriate contact with each other. I sent
a note back to them saying that you two have never had any physical
contact and that the teacher sits at her desk and the student sits
across from her desk in a desktop chair. There is always at least
three to four feet between them at all times. I also stated that
the door to the room has always been open during their conversations
and the light is always on. I have the
note in my office if you would like to read it sometime. I
did stretch
the truth a little bit because I was the one
that reached in and turned on the light in the room after Cubby left
that one morning. I met Cubby. Cubby
is a really nice fellow. And I purposely
left out discussing the content of
your conversations because as you know, a few of them could have been
deemed inappropriate by the school board; however, I honestly felt that
under your circumstances, those discussions were actually appropriate
for you two. The school board didn't specifically ask and I kind
of
left that discussion out because I figured that if they really needed
to know details, they would ask again. This
is just a suggestion for you two,
but
because of this investigation, I am asking that you two try to keep
extra distance between yourselves in case a board member shows
up. Instead of the front row, you may want to move to the third
or fourth row Ace just as a precaution. See you both tomorrow and
thanks for not giving me extra paperwork
Ace. Hopefully I can get home at a decent hour. Oops, I
better call
the wife and let her know that I'll be a little late tonight.
I probably ought to call up the florist too
because it's our anniversary today. Thanks
for reminding me. You two would make a great couple. I hope
you don't
take that the wrong way." And Karen and I both said at the same
time,
"Not at all. We don't know what to call us either." And we
all laughed
including Mr.
Heib. And then I said, "Thanks
again and see you tomorrow and happy anniversary." And Karen
said, "Happy anniversary. I hope it works out with your
wife. If you have any troubles, feel free
to have
your wife give me a call and I could probably explain this to her if
you need help John, you have been so helpful to me".
And Karen
and I left and Mr. Heib said, "I'll keep that in
mind Karen" and went back into the school.
As
a side note, our miracle worker, Mr. John "Jack" Heib died in a car
accident on icy roads a couple years later. So
actually,
Karen
did finish out the school year. Karen didn't leave early to work
on
her solo project. So she actually left at the end of June (21,
22, 23,
24, 25, somewhere in there). But
technically we did have a 'substitute'. Karen had been
wearing a rubber (prosthetic) face mask and a black wig since the
beginning of the year. Karen also had been talking in her
'Marlene
Dietrich' low range voice. The rubber mask was about shot with a
couple tears from being taken on and off so much during the school
year. So Karen just said, "It's time for a makeover" and dropped
the
rubber face mask, wig, 'clod hopper' shoes, and the 'old maids' type
long dresses and wore sandals and shorter dresses, her real hair and no
face mask and talked in her normal voice. But it was funny
because it
was still Karen as our substitute teacher, but the other kids referred
to her as the 'blonde bimbo' because she was nowhere near the smart
teacher that Miss Bihuniak was. Like Karen
said, "Ace, I don't want
to
harp on this, but you should really keep a journal." As always,
she
was right. So many pieces to try and put together. I hope I
got them right, or at least close anyway. Four days now, and
hopefully I can finally relax on July 12, 2019 after trying to get all
this out of my system after all these years. And
to note above, Max 'snapped' if you read what Max said
above about 'love' and all that started this mess. Max had some
wild
ideas going on in his head. That is also why I said what I said
about
an arms length away from Max. All I have to do is remember 'Max
hurt
Karen' in my thoughts and I could kill Max with my bare hands no
problem. Max snapped; I could snap too. Not meant as a joke
or such.
Max had some wrong ideas in his head at the start of all this. If
I
get some wrong ideas too, I am no different. I could still talk
to Max so long as we stay out of range just in case.
XXXVIII. Detention and
Rod Temperton, "soul mates" and the "Off the Wall" call.
And on July 15, 2019 the
rest of this is coming
through.
Before leaving on that night, Mr. Heib had Karen and me come to the
office with him. Mr. Heib showed us his letter to the Board of
Education that he sent. He also stated that I would be getting
detention and that Mr. Heib was having Karen be the detention teacher
for the next couple weeks. That way, she would be leaving after
Mr.
Baer had left to avoid possible problems. After the couple weeks,
Mr.
Baer would be put on the detention assignment. Mr. Heib asked
Karen if
that would cause any problems and she was like, "I usually leave for
New York City on Friday, but I can probably work around it. Can I
use
the phone to make a long distance call?" And Mr. Heib said, "So
long
as you pay for it. You can use the phone in the other room.
Just dial
9 to get an outside line, then dial the number." She was like,
"OK,
let me know how much and I'll write a check."
And then Karen and
I
went into the other room and Mr. Heib stayed in his room and used his
phone there. His secretary came in with us and showed Karen the
phone
and told her about the speakerphone as well (old-fashioned version of
the speakerphone where you set the phone into a holder and flipped a
switch to boost the volume). Karen dialed out to New York to
Phil
Ramone's house. I think the phone rang twice and then a guy
picked up
with a british type accent and said, "Hello. Who is
this?" And
Karen said, "Rod, is that you? I know a different number showed
up but
this is Karen." And the voice said, "I wondered who that
was. It's
you? Could you hold on for a minute, my tape recorder is low on
batteries and I am trying to find the batteries." Karen was like,
"Did
you try the drawer?" And Rod was like, "Of course I tried the
drawer,
but somebody must have moved them." A couple drawer sliding
sounds,
some silverware clanging, a couple door closings and then, "I found
them in the other drawer. Hold on. Also, I had a feeling
you would be
calling and I have this odd feeling that I need to tape this because I
think I can get an idea for a song. OK, rolling." And then
Karen
asked, "Are Phil and Itchie there?" And Rod says, "Phil and
Snitchy
went out for a bit. We're clear." And Karen says to me in a
low
voice, "We call Phil's girlfriend Snitchy when she isn't around, so
she's not
around." And Karen goes, "actually if they are gone then the car
is
gone, I was going to ask you if you could swing by the airport and
check flight numbers and times, I got a bit of a problem on
Friday."
And Rod said, "Didn't you get Phil's message yet? Phil called
earlier
to let you know that he is sending me to Los Angeles for two weeks or
so and that you can take the next couple weeks off. That's why
I'm
busy right now. I'm packing for LA. Phil wants me to have at
least
three songs for this new client and I only have the one we have been
working on and that other song from that Bahler guy. His name
kind of
says it all, Bahler. Bail. Trouble. I can't figure
out what you ever saw in
him."
And Karen was like, "We were both lonely." And Rod was like,
"Desperate is more like it." And then
Karen says, "Aw, are you still mad at me for that prank I pulled when
you were hitting on Debbie Gibson Roddy Woddy? That was what she
called him, Roddy Woddy. So I played a jealous ex-lover and
scared her off." And Rod was like, "I was making a bit of
progress with her at the pub before you chased me around with that,
what was it, a baseball bat? [Note, Karen said it was a pool cue
off to the side to me.] I guess I am
still a bit miffed about it." And Karen was like, "She was just
stringing you along Roddy Woddy. That's Debbie Gibson and you
didn't stand a chance with her. She's way out of your league
Roddy Woddy." And Rod was like, "Well I guess I need to change
leagues then, can you help me?" or something like that. I just
started giggling a little bit in the background
and Rod said, "All right, out with it, what's so funny?" And I
spoke up, "Sorry, I couldn't help it. When you two were arguing
just now, you sounded like a married couple." And Rod said, "Ha
ha, very funny Ace." in a dead pan voice. And then Rod continued,
"Although actually, Karen and I have been cooped up together in the
studio so much it almost feels like we are a married couple, isn't that
right Sugar Muffin?" And Karen said, "That's right My Sweet
Potato Pie." And we all kind of giggled a bit. And
then Rod said, "I know you didn't call me because you
wanted to chit chat, what's the problem?" And Karen said,
"Actually,
you know that boy I have been telling you about?" And Rod said
back,
"OK, how much is the bail? Did the papers get a hold of it
yet? Do you need hush money? How
much trouble are you in? Do you need an abortion? I got
some money
stashed away if you need it, just ask." And Karen said,
"Definitely
not an abortion Rod, we've never even touched each other yet. Not
even
a hug honestly. Actually, you also know that teacher I told you I
was
having problems with? Well, the boy bounced the teacher off the
wall
and I don't think the teacher will be bothering me again. The
boy's
name is Ace. He's my hero." And Rod is like, "OK, how much
bail money
does this boy need? If he helped you out, I would gladly help him
out. Anything just name it." And then I spoke up and said,
"Hi Rod,
it's me, the boy, Ace, and I don't think Max will be bothering her any
more. I straightened his act up in a hurry. He started some
stuff, so
I just reached over her desk and grabbed him with my left hand and
slammed him up against the wall and then let him go and then I read him
the riot act and told him to stay at least an arm's length away from
Karen and me or I'd kill him. I think he got the hint. It's
kind of
too late for him though." And Rod said, "That's just crazy.
Pure
madness. You must be a big kid." And I was like, "I'm
actually about 4 foot 9 inches tall and 100 pounds soaking wet, but he
made me mad because
he hurt Karen and I just let him have it. He is definitely over
6 foot and 300
plus pounds, but after this, he is definitely afraid of me too. I
bounced
him off the wall so hard I cracked the wall which is why I got
detention and Karen was going to tell you that she is going to be the
detention teacher and my babysitter for the next couple weeks so that
Max leaves before she does just as a precaution." And Rod was
like,
"Are you alright Karen?" And Karen was like, "I'm great. I
was
worried about losing my job because of Max, but I know I won't now
because the principal stuck up for me too. That and Ace coming to
my
rescue. I think Ace's words hurt him more than any beating he
could
have got. It's been quite a day today. I'm really happy but
I'm
getting tired now too." And I was like, "She's a little shaken
up, but
I think she's doing much better now." And Rod was like, "I want
to
thank you Ace for helping out our little lady. She is sounding
much
happier now than she has been in a long time. I know she has been
worrying for quite a while now." And I was like, "How do you
rate,
Rod? Last time I said little around Karen, she started throwing
books
at me." And Karen was laughing in the background and then said,
"It's
true Rod. I'll tell you about it sometime. Also,
you know that idea you were looking for? Here, I'll
hand the phone over to Ace and he can tell you." And I spoke up
and
said, "Karen said you were looking for an idea for a theme for her new
album. I got to thinking and how does romantic versus physical
love
sound?" And Rod said, "Actually, that sounds very interesting
Ace. I
think that would work. On one end the emotional attraction and on
the
other end the physical attraction and then having to make a choice
between the two. An excellent idea Ace. I think we can make
it work.
Thanks." And then Rod was
like, "I'm
definitely sensing something about you two. Karen, you and I have
talked, Ace you are
Sagittarius and Karen you are Pisces. Because Ace is the male,
fire dominates you two. There is a passion there that knows no
bounds between you two. This question I am going to ask you now
is very important. You two have not come together yet, have
you?" And Karen and (I) said in unison, "No, we've never
physically
touched. Ace is (I am) too young. I (Karen) would get in
trouble." And Rod said, "That's actually good. Someone is
watching over you two. Soul mates are joined in the spirit, if
the flesh joins too, your spirits would long for eternity wishing to
return to the flesh again. So long as you two don't touch, you
should be fine. Remember what I just told you two." And we
were like, "Thanks for warning us Rod." in unison of course. And
then Rod continued, "With over 2 billion people on this planet, the
odds are astronomical that soul mates would find each other in this day
and age. In other words, the chance of soul mates finding each
other is zero. Impossible. Ace and Karen, could
you
hold your hands up and look by the thumb on each other's hands?" And
Karen and I were like, "OK, now what?" at the same time. And
then the secretary opened up the door and saw us two
standing there with our hands up in the air standing around the phone
on the table, then said, "I'm not even going to ask. When you two
are
done with your séance with the phone, your paperwork is ready in
the
next room." And then the
secretary just shut the door. And Rod
said,
"Is there someone else present with you two? No matter. Karen,
I know your line by your thumb is short. Is Ace's line
long
and down to his wrist?" And Karen said, "Yes." And
then Rod asked, "Do you two ever argue?" And I was like,
"I got this one. No. We don't argue. How can you
argue with someone
when she's always right?" And Karen was like, "And if he knows
what's
good for him, he better admit that I'm right too." And Rod said,
"Good
one. I like it. Hard to argue with that." And
then Rod
asked,
"Do you two sometimes know what the other is thinking without
asking?"
And we both said, "Yes." And then Rod
asked,
"Do you two always seem to make each other happy and feel like you are
floating on air?" And we both said, "Yes." And
then Rod said, "This one is really important. I really need to
know the truth from you two on this one. Have you two ever dreamt
about each other?" And we both said in unison, "No." And
Rod said, "Are you sure about that?" And both Karen and I said,
"Positive." And then Rod said, "Believe it or not, you would be
surprised how many westerners mess up that question. Either one
or the other will say yes or no or they will both say yes. This
is very unusual. Western culture almost has a stigma with
literature and such which tends to fantasize about the
person of your dreams and such, but truthfully, soul mates do not dream
about each other. I don't know why that is, it just is."
And then Karen and I said in unison, "We both feel that we are each
other's dreams come true." And
Rod said, "I'll have to think about that. You two are definitely
soul mates. I can tell
by the
way you two sound. I can also tell by your voice Karen. And
your
voice too Ace. You two have a bond between you that can't be
broken even by death. So long as you two think of each other,
even if
the
other isn't there, you will be happy." And Karen and I were like,
"Soul mates. That's what we are." at the same time. And Rod
was like,
"There's more that I need to tell you two. After a person finds
their soul mate, they do not return back to the Earth after they
die. Now you know why I told you about not touching each
other. There are dire consequences if you do touch each other in
the flesh. The reason why I asked you two to show your hands to
each other is that Ace, you are going to be around a long time after
Karen passes away. She is your soul mate and you will miss her,
but she will always be there to comfort you in your thoughts. Now
I know that all I have to do to cheer Karen up is just say Ace
now. That makes my job a lot easier." And then Rod was
like,
"Speaking of my job Karen, I feel kind of bad about this, but Phil is
looking to try and get Michael Jackson on board which is why he is
wanting your song and asking me to sabotage your recording
sessions. Three songs, which I am starting to get an idea now for
that third
song. I'll have to work on it on the flight to Los Angeles, but I
think I got something now. I'm starting to get a melody in my
head
which is usually how it starts. I am in an
ethical dilemma now because Phil is the one who
signs my checks and if I want a check, I have to do what Phil
wants.
You, Karen, are the one giving Phil the money so that Phil can write my
checks. But if Phil could take Michael
away from Quincy Jones, that would be a big feather in Phil's
cap. Oh my. Look at the
time. This call
will probably cost you a small fortune Karen. We can talk
later. Ace,
it has been a pleasure to finally talk to you. You are really an
off
the wall kind of guy and I like that." And I was like, "It's been
great talking to you too Rod. It's great knowing that someone
else
likes making Karen happy too. All you have to do is just say the
magic
word Ace and presto change-o, instant happiness. Actually, on my
end,
just say the word Karen and I do the same thing." And then Karen
was
like, "Good luck on your trip and I understand about the songs
Rod. I
love those songs too. It's not your fault. Maybe after a
couple
weeks, we can try out that new song you got too. Anyway, I better
let
you go before Phil and Snitchy get back." And Rod was like,
"Thanks
for reminding me, I better put those batteries back in the drawer, you
know how she gets." And Karen was like, "Don't forget to wipe
this
number out of the phone Rod, this is actually my work number and if
they called it, it would be the school answering." Rod was like,
"Already done. We better go. I think they may be
coming up the drive now." And we
hung up. Somewhere in there too, Rod
mentioned fishing and "reeling you in" and I said something like, "She
wouldn't need to reel me in,
I'd probably just jump up on shore at her feet." I
think Karen said the call ended up costing her 25
dollars
because we talked so long (at least 20 minutes), but she could write it
off as a business expense on her tax deductions. Then Karen
called her
cousin, that she is staying with, and she told her she got a call
from Phil and Phil left a message to take the next two weeks off.
Karen just told them that she was alright and that she
finally got some of her problems at school cleared up which is why she
was running late. She told her cousin that she was doing much
better
now and that she was also going to be staying later doing the detention
classes and that she would talk more when she got there. Her
cousin also mentioned the 'earthquake' and that a couple things had
fallen over at the house and her cousin was actually glad that Karen
called her. Like Karen's cousin said, "That earthquake was really
something and I'm glad you're OK. I know you're used to
earthquakes out in California, but we almost never get one here and if
that's what they're like you can have them." She
understood. Mr. Heib had called my parents saying that I was
going to
be getting home late because I got detention and of course they talked
about cleaning clocks. Then we all kind of left like above and
Mr.
Heib went back in and called his wife on their anniversary and all that.
XXXIX. The day after
and beyond. I love you more...
And what about the
aftermath of what happened
above for those that were
smart enough to skip ahead, and even for those that weren't so
smart? Well, I actually do not remember much after the big blow
out and the events leading to it.
I do remember now on January 16, 2020 that Max Baer, the
boxer and Max
Jr.'s dad, showed up on the day after I believe. Maxi had the
gruff voice but I could also tell that he was upset. And as Maxi
spoke it became very apparent that Maxi was upset at his son and not
myself or Karen. But Maxi had talked with Karen first to find out
what happened after Max had called his dad saying there was possible
trouble. So Maxi came in and talked with Karen and Karen
explained that she really didn't want any possible publicity or such
and that Max had been dealt with so Max wasn't going to be a problem
anymore. Karen kind of told Maxi what happened and that the
police weren't going to be involved and Karen pointed me out to Maxi
and said that I was the one that remodelled her wall with Max and Max
had gone to the hospital and had to wear a chest compression bandage
for 2 weeks. Maxi then had some fun with me and I can honestly
say that Max Baer the boxer liked kids and was not actually a mean
person; he just had a gruff voice. But Maxi came over to me and
was like, "So you're the tough guy that sent my baby boy to the
hospital. Come on tough guy let's see what you're made of and
let's see how you do against old Maxi. Come on, put 'em up.
We got a score to settle. I got my family honor to protect here
and with that being said I would just like to shake your hand and say
thank you for putting my son in his place. I heard what happened
with her and he deserved it." And we shake hands and then he
continues, "I think he gets it from his mother's side. He's my
son, but Max ain't the brightest penny in the barrel; that's for
sure. He ran off to Hollywood and he got all these stupid ideas
in his head. Me, I lived on the streets and worked hard and
became world champeen (champion). He's my son and he's all I got
but he can be a real dumb ass sometimes. Thank you for trying to
set my son straight. We OK?" And I was like, "Yeah, we're
OK." or something like that. And then Maxi went over across the
hall and proceeded to chew his son, Max, a new one (as we call it a new
a**hole). "I thought you said you had trouble..." and Maxi just
verbally tore right into Max, "...you're stupid...I bailed you
out...they're nice people...look at you...a little kid?...This
is embarrassing...What were you thinking?...Hollywood..."
At first Max
was like, "Yes father" like a preacher then Max was in tears after a
short while and
Maxi just tore into Max even more and not just verbally.
Sometimes you just have to try and tell it like it is or
they just don't get it. "...3 to 5 years in the state pen,
minimum, is
that what you want?...straighten up..." And
the reason for the ... is because Karen and I were
listening to what was going on across the hall and we were both saying
to each other at the same time, "He's gonna get it. He's gonna
get it. He's gonna get
it. [smack sound in background from across the hall] He got it."
Max Senior had passed away from a heart attack in 1959 so I believe
this was actually Maxi's brother, Buddy Baer who had alzheimer's.
I also kind of remember the day
after and my walking in and sitting towards the back of the class like
Mr. Heib had asked. When I came in, my teacher waved and said to
the
monitor something like, "That's the boy I was telling you about,
Ace."
And then the monitor picked up the phone and Karen said something like,
"He's not the one." And Karen took the phone out of the monitor's
hand
and hung it up. And the monitor said, "I know that, he seems like
a
really nice boy, but there is someone coming from across the
hall."
And Karen said, "Oops, sorry." And the monitor said, "Mr. Heib is
on
his way anyway." Mr. Baer sent over a letter with a student named
Brian. I remember Karen ripping up the letter without reading it
and
throwing it in the trash. And then Mr. Heib showed up shortly
after
and I do not remember much after that on the first day
afterwards.
I
do remember the monitor being
there and Karen and I still talking a lot.
I do also remember that the
monitor was actually a secretary too and not really a teacher.
The monitor also said that Mr. Heib would always smile when the
secretary would read something that Karen and I said during our
conversations. Mr. Heib would usually ask the secretary to read
it back three or four times then put it away in the special 'hidden'
folder Mr. Heib had. Inside this folder was also Karen’s actual
school records just in case someone found out that Karen was using an
alias. Karen was qualified, but Karen was looking to avoid
possible publicity so she used an alias was all. Karen's
actual records were more qualifying than the alias
she used as her alias only had a high school diploma without any
college at all. And respectfully no one ever tried to 'blow her
cover'
so to speak, but the records were there, hidden, just in case. There
were a few times when Karen and I got
so excited talking to each other that the secretary (monitor) asked us
to slow down because she couldn't keep up. So a few times Karen
and I talked in slow motion just as a joke because we would get so
excited and the secretary would start laughing too and say, "Alright
you two. You crack me up. Not that slow. Just try to
pause a little here and there so I can catch up." And one time we
were
so excited, the secretary said, "I hope I'm not interrupting you two
but this is good stuff here. I know Mr. Heib is going to want to
hear it at least three or four times. I like hearing it
myself. Keep it going. Oops, just pretend like I'm not
here." After that first time, if we started going too fast, the
monitor would just say, "Pretend like I'm not here." And we would
both say, "We do." and we would pause for a little bit until she
stopped writing, and then continue on. Honestly, most of the
time, we forgot there was a monitor there.
Most of the excited
talks were either about how we felt about each other or about Michael
Jackson's Off
the Wall album being finished on June 3rd and Karen was so excited
about the songs she started, "Rock with You" and "Off the Wall" and
because she was so excited, I was excited too. It would go like
this, Karen would say, "Michael Jackson finished his new album Off the
Wall and my two songs are on it. I like what he did with the
songs. Rock with You is definitely our song. It's written
about us. It has this really awesome beat. Rod snuck me a
copy." And I would be
like, "That's great Honey. Our song is on there and I know it
will be a #1 some day. It can't miss." And she would be
like, "I know it's great. I got a call from Michael, himself,
thanking me. I love that song and I listen to the demo tape over
and
over again
because it reminds me of you." And we would just go back and
forth and the secretary would be writing like crazy because we were
talking so fast Karen, Ace, Karen, Ace, back and forth without a
pause. She broke several pencils trying to keep up, but luckily
she had an electric pencil sharpener too. I think the secretary
went through at least a pencil and a steno pad every week. I
know Karen thanked me for putting Mr. Baer in his place, and I know she
told me some stuff about the kind of impact my words had on Mr. Baer,
but I can't really remember exactly what was said now. I think
she said that my words were worst than any beating he could have
got.
I do remember that each time I went into Mr. Baer's science
room that Mr. Baer was in his teacher's chair behind the desk and I sat
in the chair closest to the door. I also think that every time I
came in, I slammed everything down on the desk and then I took my left
hand and put my left elbow on the desk and made a fist and looked right
at Mr. Baer with that get too close and I'm going to kill you look I
had. And honestly, he didn't get too close either and he rarely
even looked at me except to see if I was seated or not. Mr.
Baer's voice was definitely much calmer the rest of the year and not as
cocky as he had been before. So I know I definitely had a
positive impact on him. Karen and I also talked too about what
other kids were saying about what was going on and what most of the
other kids thought about Karen, my teacher, having a monitor.
Most of the kids thought that Karen got in trouble for doing something
with me instead of protection from Mr. Baer.
As far as our
'feeling' talks, Karen and I had started doing this back and
forth. I (or Karen) would say, "I love you." And Karen (or
I) would say, "I love you more." And then I (or Karen) would say,
"I love you more than more." And then Karen (or I) would say, "I
love you more than more with a cherry on top." And then I (or
Karen) would say, "I love you more than more with a cherry on top of
pickled ice cream." And then Karen (or I) would say, "I
love you more than more with a cherry on top of pickled ice cream with
a stork flying around". And we would just keep going back and
forth adding to the 'I love you more story'. Sometimes
we added some really romantic stuff, but many times we would throw in
stuff like "used toilet paper" and such and we would start getting a
really bad case of the giggles trying to outdo each other. I
remember saying one time, "I got you this time. I love you more
than biting into an apple and finding a worm. Beat that."
And then Karen said, "I love you more than biting into an apple and
finding half a
worm. I think you forgot that I used to date Steve Martin."
And then of course me with, "I love you more than
dingle berries." And Karen is like, "I know better than to ask,
but what are dingle berries?" And I was like, "You know when you
poop and it gets stuck to your butt hairs? Dingle berries."
And Karen was like, "That's what I figured." That's real love.
For
more real love, try these...
And in 1979 Karen and I
would both say to each other "I love you more than..." (who said what,
and note, for the 'Karen and me' comments, we said it at the same time
together)
"...used toilet paper" (me)
"...biting into an apple and finding a worm. Beat
that." (me)
"...biting into an apple and finding half a worm" (Karen)
"...sky diving without a parachute" (me)
"...being tossed into an active volcano" (Karen)
"...doing homework" (me)
"...correcting homework and tests" (Karen)
"...the hiccups" (Karen)
"...pricker bushes" (Karen)
"...doing chores" (Karen and me)
"...getting stuck in traffic" (Karen)
"...getting sick" (Karen and me)
"...stubbing my toe" (Karen)
"...limping" (me)
"...more" (me)
"...cow pies" (Karen)
"...a headache" (Karen)
"...cooties" (me)
"...being stung by a bee" (Karen)
"...smelly gym socks" (me)
"...racing stripes in our underwear" (Karen and me)
"...Castor Oil" (me)
"...Cod Liver Oil" (Karen)
"...ever" (me) "You cheated. I was just thinking that."
(Karen)
"...standing down wind at a chili cook off" (me) "What's
wrong with chili?" (Karen)
"...standing down wind at a farting contest" (me) "Why didn't
you say that in the first place?" (Karen)
"...leftovers" (me) "I like leftovers. You must really love
me." (Karen)
"...earthquakes and tidal waves" (me)
"...earthquakes and mud slides" (Karen)
"...getting a wedgie" (me)
"...getting an atomic wedgie" (Karen) "What's an atomic
wedgie?" (me) "Your underwear goes over your head" (Karen)
"...sneezing and kissing a fool" (Karen)
"...eating with chopsticks" (me) "It's easy. I'll show
you some time" (Karen)
"...making bubbles in the bathtub without bubble bath" (me)
"That sounds like fun" (Karen) "It is until the bubbles burst.
Try
saying that three times fast" (me) "Bubbles burst; bubbles burst;
bubbles burst" (Karen and me)
"...paying bills" (Karen)
"...a hang nail" (Karen)
"...sleeping on a bed of nails" (me)
"...having a wart" (Karen)
"...rubber baby buggy bumpers" (Karen and me)
"...reciting poetry" (Karen) "You're a singer" (me) "I know
it sounds weird but trust me on this" (Karen)
"...walking on hot coals" (Karen)
"...being invited to a cannibal's dinner party" (me)
"...getting food stuck in my teeth." (Karen)
"...finishing 11th place in a 10 person marathon" (me)
"...dirty diapers" (Karen)
"...dirty dishes" (Karen)
"...dirty laundry" (Karen)
"...mowing the lawn" (me)
"...cleaning up dog poop in the yard" (Karen and me)
"...having an itch in a place you can't scratch" (me)
"...slamming my hand in the car door" (Karen) "Ouch" (me)
"...falling down the stairs" (Karen)
"...falling up the stairs" (me) "That was funny that time"
(Karen)
"...having a nightmare where you went to school in your
pajamas and then you realize that you hadn't gone to sleep" (me) "So
that's why you were late for homeroom the other day?" (Karen) "Yup" (me)
"...dingle berries" (me) "I know better than to ask, but what
are dingle berries?" (Karen) "You know when you poop and it sticks to
your butt hairs? Dingle berries." (me) "That's what I figured."
(Karen)
Love you forever Honey,
from Darling
Karen
and I got
asked about advice for couples and we had this to say, "We are two
people that want to be together. That's our secret.
Everything else falls into place after that. We want to be
together all the time, but that isn't possible. But when we are
apart, we still feel like we are there with each other in our
thoughts. We like to make each other happier, and it may seem
weird, but at times we thought we couldn't be happier, but we were
somehow. We still do our own things, but our most precious thing
is our times together."
XL. Calm down. I
mean
it.
I was so upset for so long
after the incident between Karen and
Max and me. About a week or two later Karen just said to me, "I
know you
hate Max, but that anger I see in you isn't doing you any good.
If you keep this up you are probably going to give yourself a heart
attack and end up in the hospital and I don't want to go through that
with you. [and Karen starts crying a little] I would visit
you in the hospital if it happens, but I know I wouldn't be able to
look at you and I would just start crying like I am now. I know
what
Max did was wrong, but I was raised Christian and it is wrong to hate
too. I was the one that Max did that to, and if I can find it in
my heart to forgive him, I am hoping you can do the same. Will
you at least try for my sake?" And I was like, "I can try.
I used to feel sorry for him because I knew people picked on him
because of his goofy voice, but after what happened with you, I don't
feel sorry for him anymore. You know how protective I get with
people that get picked on. I can't really forgive and forget, but
I can try to let go of my anger about all of this, because like you
know, it isn't doing anybody any good. Thanks for your concern
and I'll try. Besides, I know if I do end up in the hospital I
know you'll definitely come in to see the look on my face when I
realize that the rectal thermometer tastes funny. And then you
can tell the nurses how the life insurance policy is all paid up and
that I like sleeping with my head buried under the pillows." And
then Karen said, "I know you are trying to make me feel better with
jokes, but losing you is not a joke to me. What you just said now
only made me feel worst. I almost feel like this is all my
fault. I really don't want to lose you.
You helped me and now I feel I need to help you. You need to stop
being so angry. No joke. I mean it. I really don't
want to lose you because I don't think I could handle losing you
because you mean so much to me now." And I was like, "First,
back the truck up, there is no way that any of this
has been your fault. Max did what he did, you did nothing wrong,
but
now I feel I am doing what I need to do. I
understand. But Max brought this all on himself by doing what
he's been doing. There is no way I can blame you in any of this,
honestly, you have done nothing wrong. If
you've noticed, I've never been the least bit angry with you about
anything because how can any of this be your fault; you
did nothing wrong; but Max is another
story. All joking aside, when I feel he isn't going to try
and hurt you anymore, the anger will go away, but not until.
There's nothing I can really do about it. I'll be alright.
It's you I worry about. Remember our palms, you go before
me. I don't know how or when, but you go before I do..."
And then Karen was like, “Max is a little different. I remember
Max telling me that his dad’s idea of sex education was taking him to a
brothel and giving him a couple hundred bucks so he could have
fun. I know it’s not an excuse, but we’re all raised a little
differently, even you and me. I hope you understand.” And I
was like, “Yup, I understand. Each person is a little different
and some take longer than others to learn and some just never learn at
all. The school of hard knocks I guess is what they call it
now." And Karen was like, “You got it.” I
remember that the day after this talk with Karen, Mr. Baer said to me,
"If you want me to say that I'm a chicken sh*t, then I'm a chicken
sh*t." And then I knew he wasn't going to try to get back at her
or me for what happened that was actually his fault anyway.
[Blank]ing somebody, threatening to have them arrested, and then trying
to get them fired from their job is not forgivable in my book.
Once done, you can't un[blank] someone. But
people can and do make mistakes. Mr. Baer
(Max) was very
quiet the rest of the school year. I
figured that I had said what I needed to say to him after I slammed him
up against the wall. Things happened and I moved on. What
else could I do? If you forgive someone for something like that,
then what are they going to do next after they've been forgiven without
actually earning that forgiveness? Sometimes it is just best to
move on, so I moved on. I just can't
forgive someone for forgiveness' sake. Someone
has to earn forgiveness from me. And forgiveness
from me is earned by trying to make amends as best as possible.
Repentance (admitting a wrong was done) and penance (making amends for
that wrong as best as possible). I am aware that Max worked on a
movie called 'Star 80' which did make people aware of people having
mental problems and breakdowns and such, and Karen is not around any
more to be hurt.
XLI. Our morbid and
off color sense
of humor
And one of Karen and my
favorite sayings at the time was, "If you love
something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, then hunt it
down and kill it (instead of 'it was never meant to be')." Karen
and I always came back to each other, so all was fine between us.
Yes, Karen and I did have a morbid sense of humor at times.
And of course another big joke at the time was, "Smokey the
Bear says
only you can prevent forest fires. Please don't wear corduroys if
you have thunder thighs."
Karen and I were also both the types that could not resist
waving hello
to someone that had armfuls of packages. You know that awkward
moment when someone realizes that they can't wave back or oops...
And you know that awkward moment when you are looking for
your keys and
then you realize they have been in your hand the whole time.
With the psychology and psychiatry stuff, “You are getting
sleepy. Your eyes are getting very, very heavy… You are
asleep.” And then I might say, “Bark like a chicken.” And
Karen would say, “You first.” Or I would say, “Sing like a
canary.” And Karen would go, “Woof woof.” And me, “Meow
like a cat.” And Karen, “Tweet tweet.” Stuff like that.
Then we would talk about how Karen and her cousin Wendy would fall
asleep in front of the TV with their knitting needles in their
hands. Karen would also mention that she hadn’t been sleepwalking
since about the first week or so. Maybe it was the recliners or
maybe because she was feeling a bit more relaxed being away from the
hustle and bustle of the music biz. Would have to wait and see I
guess.
And of course, "That's the way the cookie bounces and the
ball
crumbles." This was Karen and me, we had definitely seen more
cookies bounce and balls crumble than the other way around.
“Oops, I got my mirds wixed up.” At times Karen and I would kind
of get our words mixed up, so mirds wixed up.
And discussing classic literary works
such as
"The Yellow River" by I. P. Dailey and "The Frozen Mystery" by Hu
Shitinda Icebox.
"Be careful about jumping to conclusions. When you jump
to
conclusions you tend to assume and when you assume, you tend to make an
ass out of you and me."
And of course, opera. "It ain't over until the fat lady
sings." Karen and I both agreed that the Carpenters did not do
opera or else none of the Carpenters' shows would have ever
ended. The Carpenters didn't have a fat lady. "No opera"
was a rule. "No disco" was still open for debate.
And "coyote music"? Yeah, there is some music that just sounds
like someone is howling at the moon or such. Slim Whitman's
"Cattle Call" is a good example of this. "Ow ow owoooo".
Whoopee cushion music? "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo
Springfield is a good example of this. "You better stop [whoopee
cushion sound] what's that sound, everybody look what's going down..."
repeat.
And another nickname for Karen, Buck Snort. If you could get
Karen laughing good enough, she would start snorting with her nose
while laughing and that would get her to start laughing even more and
more snorting and more laughing and the tears of joy. Karen
always loved a good laugh.
A new saying too, “Accidentally on purpose” as in “I accidentally on
purpose put a bucket of water with a string on it above the door so
that when the door opened you accidentally on purpose got soaked”.
And of course Dr. Ruth Westheimer. She was always
taking guy's
penises on TV one way or the other.
Me, "What color's your hair?". Karen, "Black I
think." Me,
"What color's the hair on top of your head?" Karen as she
takes off her wig, "It's a wig. See. My hair is actually a
strawberry blonde color and I wear the wig so that hopefully people
don't recognize me. Why do you ask?" Me, "Just
curious." Karen, "I bet. You are a teenager after
all. You might want to watch who you ask that to, I have a
feeling that one of these times someone is going to smack that little
smirk off your face." Me, "Smacking lips is cool with the right
person." Karen, "I can't argue with that. Do you have
anyone in mind?" Me, "Yes, you know I always think of you but
you'd get in trouble." Karen, "Trouble is my middle name."
Me, "Mine too." And Karen and I have our
hands on the desks ready to jump over the desks and have at each
other. Then Max (teacher across the hall)
standing by the
door, "Am I interrupting something?" Karen and I at the same
time, "No, nothing at
all. Come on in."
And in the news today, Cleopatra found out that playing with
her asp
too much was not such a good idea after all.
And speaking of current events, Baby M had been born, the world’s first
‘Test Tube Baby”. There were now 13 signs of the zodiac that
people could be born under. The thirteenth sign being “Pyrex”.
And of course, Ben Dover, the executive in charge of
promotions around
here. If you are looking to move up the corporate ladder then
bend over, I mean Ben Dover, may be able to help you.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains
excite me
(instead of 'names will never hurt me').
And also, this was a time of hedonism and S & M (Sadism
&
Masochism) and Karen and I had an inside joke about this and we used to
call it "M & M's" because Karen and I weren't really ones to hurt
others if we could help it. I would joke with Karen and say, "Are
you sure you don't want to get on your fishnet stockings, high-heels,
and short skirt and spank me? I've been a bad boy lately and I
need some M & M's." And Karen would say, "I know it's still
allowed but I don't believe in corporal punishment and how is a
spanking going to keep you from bad behavior? You'd like it too
much." I never could find a good answer for that one.
Drumming is a dangerous profession. There's nowhere to
hide back
there and a couple good bean farts and you're done for.
And of course meeting new people sometimes I couldn’t help myself and
Karen would get a kick out of it too, like… “Dr. Ace,
proctologist, you’d be surprised the amount of money you could save by
not wearing rubber gloves and who is going to look back to
notice. Do you wanna shake on that?” and “Joseph Konyu, great
white buffalo hunter, you may have never herd of buffalo but surely
you’ve heard of joke on you?” and “I’m the Great Zilcho, really that
name means nothing to me, zero, zilch, nada, but what’s in a name
anyway?” and “Most honorable greetings. I am Confusion. He
who hesitates must pause. Man must learn to be wise like potato
chip. Sank you for displeasure on shaking your hand.” And “Oh,
sorry about that [wipe hands on pants] I was raised in a barn and
sometimes you miss some stuff.” Yeah, Karen and I were a lot
alike before we met each other. And yeah too, Karen would warn me
beforehand not to do that stuff with certain people. Karen would
point her finger at me and tell me, “No monkey
business” when she needed me to be serious.
And to end this on an actual serious note, Karen and I
actually did
have a serious talk about becoming jewish and moving to Israel because
the legal age there was 13. We also talked about bar mitzvah and
that kind of stuff. We were seriously talking of becoming jewish
and moving to Israel. Not meant as a hypothetical joke or
such. But then Karen thought about the laws over there and that I
would need to serve in the military at age 16 and Karen was dead set
against the possibility that I might die before her. Karen and I
decided that we were going to try and stick it out until after I turned
16 and I became 'legal'. 18 if possible, 16 minimum.
XLII. Perfectionist?
I have seen it many times
where it has been said that Karen was a
'perfectionist'. Kind of. Honestly, Karen said to me many
times, "If you are going to do something, always make it worthwhile and
always try to do your best in everything you do." And also, "If
you are going to do something then you might as well do it well."
And also, "if you are going to give it, then give it all you got every
time" and "always put your best foot forward" as well. And the
classic, "You don't get a second chance to make a first
impression." The Karen I knew did not truly believe in
'perfection' per se, but more of "How can I do something better?
Can something be done better? I can try." Karen, as a
teacher, realized that I 'held back' many times and Karen always tried
to encourage me to 'do my best'. Then Karen started noticing that
a lot of times my 'worst' at times was better than everyone else's
'best' and that I held back many times because at my worst, many times
it was 'overkill' and when I was at my best I was usually beyond most
people's comprehension (including Karen). Many times Karen saw me
do things that were deemed 'impossible' and then I would demonstrate
what 'beyond impossible' meant after that. Karen realized that
she could never 'push me too hard' on anything. At first Karen
was excited about finding someone she couldn't actually push too hard,
but then Karen realized that after a certain point, I was fine, but
others would start becoming lost and confused (including Karen).
Then Karen and I talked about the KISS principle. Keep It Simple
Stupid. There is a point at which things can start becoming
'nonsense' and counterproductive. There is 'the edge' and 'over
the edge'. KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid. And then "better
than best" was "as good as it gets". Karen and I were a lot
alike. Many times Karen did "better than best" too.
Sometimes it just kept getting better and better... And sometimes
not. As we both understood, "You never know what you may be able
to do until you try. And if at first you don't succeed, someone
else cheated." And finally (Karen and I), "nothing is ever
perfect, but if you keep trying, things can usually get better."
XLIII. Solo album
overview part 1. What to believe?
Karen got her job as a
school teacher to get a chance to relax and get away from the music
business and travelling around and such. I believe it was either
the end of February or the beginning of March and Karen came in one day
and was livid and fuming. Karen was upset because the manager,
Jerry Weintraub, had come up with an idea of Karen doing a ‘solo album’
and of course mentioned it to Alpert and Moss and Alpert and Moss were
all for this idea as well since Richard was publicly taking time off to
deal with his quaalude addiction. A manager needs something to
manage and since the Carpenters were big money makers for A & M
Records, A & M was wanting to have some kind of product to work
with too. Karen and Richard both wanted time off. After a
huge argument (as Karen wanted time off and didn't want to do a solo
album) that the details remain between Karen and Richard (Karen
did actually tell me but I really feel it should remain private about
Karen demanding that Richard pay half since it was his fault that he
didn’t want to give up his time off and put this on Karen’s shoulders,
and so on about Karen finishing her job as a teacher, and so on.
It was just so UNFAIR as Karen was having problems and wanted time off
and Karen had been pulled away to do the Christmas Portrait special and
the Bruce Forsyth show and what time off and why does Richard want time
off anyway [Mary Rudolph] and why was Karen so wanting time off too
[me] which I was there when mom called Karen up at school and mom
spilled the beans to Karen about Richard seeing Mary Rudolph just after
this argument, but it wasn’t until later on [around mid May 1979] that
Karen spilled the beans to Richard about me). All it took was for
Karen’s mom to mention “the pitter patter of little feet” to Karen and
Karen was all for letting her brother have more time off. Karen
agreed to do
a solo album based on promises that Karen and Richard made to each
other (and note, no one except Karen's mom ever won an argument with
Karen, as Karen made sure that even if you thought you won the
argument, you were going to pay dearly for it to the point of feeling
like you were better off losing as if you lost, Karen might feel sorry
for you. Karen would always sneak a bunch of promises in during
an argumnent which was why even if you think you won the argument,
Karen got what she wanted through the promises anyway. Karen and
I never made promises and we never argued. As Karen and I would
say together, "We don't make promises with each other; we mean what we
say and we say what we mean"). Karen told me that the big promise
was that regardless what happened, Karen was going to finish out the
school year and not have to take time off from teaching. Karen
did not want to do the solo album as Karen was already busy enough
teaching and Karen was not wishing to leave her brother or go on her
own musically or any of that. Karen loved working with her
brother and all that they had accomplished together and Karen never
wanted to give that up. It wasn’t about being popular or
successful or making a lot of money with Karen, but about doing things
that Karen felt were worthwhile. Principles. The first
producer thought of
was actually Eddie Kramer. (And I was there when Eddie Kramer came out
to New York State and talked with Karen. Eddie asked Karen to try
someone else as Eddie was used to artists that did their own material
and Eddie would feel like a "fish out of water" just like Karen would
be a "fish out of water" without her brother. Eddie mentioned that he
usually inspired his artists to write their own material with the
"raison d'etre" [reason of being, purpose] speech which was where Karen
had the melody of "I wanna uh with you, uh, uh, uh, uh" pop into her
head which later Rod Temperton and Karen turned into the "Rock with
You" song in May 1979. At the end of the conversation Eddie was
recommending Phil Ramone but Eddie also had some reserves about
Phil. Karen and Richard both had a 'goody two shoes' image.
Eddie warned that Phil liked to drag his clients names through the
tabloids to gain extra publicity for an album release. Eddie said
that Phil would probably be the most likely one to be able to get an
album done under the circumstances, however, Karen needed to be very
careful around Phil if Karen had any skeletons in her closet or
such. Eddie said that what Phil would do is tell his clients that
he needed to get to know them better to bring out their 'inner essence'
or such, but the real reason would be to dig for dirt for the tabloids
and that was why Phil would invite his clients to live with him - to
listen in on private phone conversations, snoop into personal
belongings, stuff like that. Eddie recommended Phil for his
ability but Eddie had a HUGE reserve because of Phil's track record
with tabloids and bad publicity as tabloids are not interested in
decent or honest stories. Eddie warned Karen that if she did use
Phil to keep her guard up as far as anything personal. Karen
stated to Eddie that she really didn't have any skeletons). And with
that being said, it was actually
Richard that talked Karen into doing her solo album (with a little help
from mom). Richard asked Karen to do her solo album as a personal
favor to Richard as Richard thought that maybe Karen could learn some
new tricks from Phil Ramone (the next idea for a producer) that might
help Karen and Richard with recording for the Carpenters. After
Passage and the Christmas recordings, Karen and Richard had both
thought that things were possibly getting a little stale for them
musically and after Passage, record sales had been a bit down for a
while. And then the icing on the cake when Richard said to Karen
that Karen couldn’t vocally do disco which as anyone that knew Karen
knew that if you said Karen wasn’t able to do something, she was going
to bend over backwards, if needed, to prove that she could do it.
Yes, as noted in Karen’s diaries, Richard and Karen had an argument
over Karen and her solo album. As far as I’ve ever known, Richard
or mom were NEVER against Karen doing a solo album if she wanted, but
as far as I ever knew, Karen really didn’t want to do a solo album.
Karen told me later in June 1981 that her husband Thomas would get
phone calls from producers offering a lot of money (millions) if Karen
would do a solo album with them. Karen would always refuse as she
always enjoyed working with her brother and she didn’t want to deal
with people bothering her all of the time about doing something
else. After all the mess and work with the Phil Ramone project,
Karen was not interested at all in ‘going solo’. Karen never had
those kind of problems when working with her brother and it just wasn’t
worth the aggravation for Karen to go out on her own. Really,
like with Passage and Made In America, if Karen wanted to try something
different, Richard wasn’t against trying something different too so why
go through all of the added headaches of ‘going solo’? Richard
wanted time off so he could get to know someone better and spend some
time with someone other than his sister. That was actually why
Karen agreed to do a solo album with Phil Ramone. The argument
between Richard and Karen was because why didn’t Richard do a solo
album or greatest hits album or such instead of putting this taking
time off stuff on Karen’s shoulders. Why did Karen have to be the
one to sacrifice taking time off instead of Richard sacrificing his
time off? Well, actually, if I remember correctly mom got
involved and told Karen that Karen was going to do what she was asked
to do by Richard and Richard was going to follow through on whatever
Karen asked for in return as it was only fair as Richard was asking
Karen for a favor so that Richard could spend more time with Mary and
it was only fair that Richard should return those favors to his sister
as Karen was the one sacrificing her time off (and later in mid May the
real favor of Richard not telling ‘the folks’ that Karen was wanting to
be with a 14 year old guy, shhh). And also, later on when mom
thought something was fishy with Karen wanting to stay being a school
teacher and mom wanted Karen to come back home, and Phil Ramone wanting
an extra hundred grand (out of future Carpenters royalties) because
Karen wouldn't move in with Phil or Itchie until after June 22, 1979,
Richard kept his deal with Karen and Karen stayed on as a school
teacher until June 22, 1979 (despite Phil and mom) as promised and
Richard and Karen split the cost of Karen's solo album (including the
extra hundred grand, 50 grand each) as promised. And when Karen
wanted her solo album shelved because of publicity concerns, Richard
helped return a favor and stood behind his sister on her decision to
shelve that costly "can of worms" (Karen's solo album) while originally
others were hoping for some product to be released and make some extra
money and / or notoriety but would have to wait. But this was all
stuff that I heard that came out of Karen's mouth as far as what was
going on with her solo album and Richard and her mom and the
rest. As I said in the beginning, it was up to Karen and Richard
as to what they agreed upon between themselves. Do you really
think that Karen and Richard told mom everything? But because mom
got involved was how Karen knew that this was important to Richard to
take time off again. But don't let the book writers and such fool
you about Karen and her mom. Karen and her mom were closer than
Richard and mom were. Mom and Karen would share secrets
together. Normally, if Richard had a secret and told mom, mom
would tell Karen but ask Karen to keep quiet about it. If Karen
had a secret she shared with her mom, Karen and mom would usually keep
that secret between themselves and not tell Richard or others.
Sure, Richard was 'the favorite' but there is actually a secret story
about that elsewhere as Karen and her mom didn't want Richard sitting
around like a bump on a log and behind every successful man is a strong
woman. Neither Richard nor Karen were ever spoiled. Fiction
writers try to make people think otherwise about Karen and Richard, but
honestly, neither Karen nor Richard were ever spoiled and those that
had the pleasure of meeting Karen and / or Richard could tell that
neither had ever been spoiled. There was never any competition
from Karen or Richard for mom's love or any of that nonsense. Did
Richard want mom to tell him her secrets like mom shared with Karen and
Karen shared with her mom? Really? Not really.
Reality. Does physically touching someone mean that they
care? No. Does not physically touching someone mean that
they do not care? No. Beware of stereotyping and
profiling. Beware of psychobabble. The profile created for
an anorexic does not match the actual real life profile of Karen
Carpenter. Reality. Parents try to provide what they can
for their children, but good parents try to make sure that their
children earn what is provided to them. Imagine what might have
happened if Richard had never got that piano but also imagine what
might have happened if the family had not worked together and got Karen
a set of drums too. Or even worst, what if Karen or Richard had
been misbehaving and thrown tantrums or such and destroyed the piano or
the drums or the microphones or... Good kids and better
adults. Karen and Richard. Does all of this seem
confusing? Great, now you know how Karen felt when all of this
solo album stuff got dropped in her lap. And hopefully you can
tell that I wasn’t prepared for something like this either. Thus
Karen’s solo album was born (really it was more like a rotten egg so
maybe hatched? Can of worms? Here fishy fishy?)…
Yes,
Karen and I talked a bit about her solo album off and on. The
idea was originally by Karen's manager, Jerry Weintraub, who felt it
would give Karen something to do while Richard was taking time
off. Alpert & Moss (A & M) gave the "OK" as well.
Unfortunately, Karen already had something to do namely teaching.
Karen was actually against the idea at first because Karen was already
busy enough. Maybe after school was out? Richard actually
encouraged Karen to do the project and did put the stipulation "no
disco" on Karen which like Karen said, "Richard knows that telling me
that I can't do something is pretty much guaranteeing that I will do
it. It's like a challenge to me. Like you, I like
challenges too. Tell me something can't be done and I am going to
figure out a way to do it." Richard had another reserve, the
producer that Jerry hired was a guy named Phil Ramone who had a track
record of dragging his client's names through the tabloids to try and
get extra 'free' publicity and increase sales that way. Phil
Ramone was a well known producer at the time and he had a few successes
here and there. Richard thought that maybe Karen might pick up
some new ideas from Phil. A couple ideas was all too. First
idea was the altering of the background vocals to give them a different
sound by running them through a 'digitizer' I think is what Karen
called it. The second thing was that Phil used 'pet names' to try
and personalize the song more. Names like 'Baby' and 'Honey' and
'Darling' and such. That was it for the learning curve from Phil
Ramone. Most of
the time before June 1979, Karen usually was feeling down in the dumps
about her solo project and Karen and I usually made each other feel
better. The incident that stands out is this. Karen came
back on a Monday and we both said at the same time, "We definitely need
to talk." So later, after school, Karen and I talked. I
said, "It will probably be easier if I go first. I don't know
what happened, but over the weekend I was just sitting around and a
strange image popped into my head. You were sitting at a kitchen
table with a guy in an orange striped shirt with shorts and sandals and
curly dirty blond hair and an australian or british accent. You
two were laughing and telling stories together. I'm not jealous
as you know, but I am just wondering why this happened." And
Karen was like, "This is kind of what I was going to talk to you about
too. The guy at the table is Rod Temperton the guy who is writing
my songs. You saw me look over didn't you? I saw (felt
maybe) you on my right side and I kind of looked over to see you and
then I continued talking to Rod and you disappeared. That was
you?" I was like, "Kind of, I was still here in Corning, but
somehow, I don't know really how to put it, but I didn't hear what you
guys were saying, I just kind of showed up or whatever it was."
Karen was like, "Well I experienced it too, but like you, I don't know
why either. Nothing was going on or anything." And I was
like, "I know. Not that way, but I almost thought I was losing it
or something." She was like, "Me too, that's why I wanted to talk
to you. I thought I was going nuts too. It's just
weird." And I was like, "I'll say. We both had it
happen. We're not nuts. At least not yet anyway. Oh
well, stuff happens." Another time, I asked Karen about "What is
the red light in the white room for?" And Karen said, "It
depends on what side of the glass you are on. On the
other side, the red light is for when we are
recording and means do not enter under any circumstances. It
turns green when we're done. It's the opposite when you
are inside the room. Rod usually works the controls. How
did you
know?" And I was like, "Same as the other
time,
somehow I just popped in. I still don't know why." And
Karen was like, "I thought I saw you there in the corner behind
Rod. There were a bunch of us inside the room laughing wasn't
there?" And I was like, "Yeah." And Karen was like, "We had
just started recording and all of a sudden I just let out this long,
loud, juicy fart and we all just lost it." Yet
another time, Karen
told
me that her and Rod had come up with a couple songs, but they were not
working out so well being recorded. I said, "Chances are, they
have
another use for them on someone else's project that they have been
stuck on." Lo and behold, the songs are 'Rock with You' and 'Off
the
Wall' that were used on Michael Jackson's Off the Wall album.
Karen had already kind of had the rock with you melody in her head
around March, April 1979 before
the solo album started. Karen used to kind of sing at me,
"I want to uh with you, uh, uh, uh" here and there in her normal
singing
voice and she would have her arms at her sides
doing a kind of herky jerky motion. I guess
one day Karen was doing dishes or setting the
table at Phil's house and she was doing the "I want to uh with you, uh,
uh, uh"
and Rod saw and heard Karen doing this and asked Karen about it and
Karen kind of explained the situation between Karen and me and Karen
was an 8th grade teacher and my age and that I was the reluctant one
because I didn't want to take a chance of Karen getting into trouble
because of my age, 14.
I believe that Karen told me that Rod said something like, "Have you
two ever thought about becoming Jewish?". I
think Karen told me that Rod also said something like, "Well let's see
if we can write a song that can get this boy to relax and loosen up a
bit for you." Then I guess Karen and Rod started making a song
out of the "I want to uh with you" melody that Karen had stuck in her
head. "Boy, close your eyes, let everything get into you, don't
try to fight it, there ain't nothing that you can do..." and
all that. The off the wall song came after a phone call between
Rod, Karen and I which I talk about elsewhere. But the off the
wall song was based a lot on Rod's experience with Karen and Karen
chasing Rod around a 'pub' with a pool cue after Rod was wanting to
date Debbie Gibson. During the phone call, off the wall was said
several times by us in several different ways and Rod kind of used that
phone call as a basis for a song that Rod wrote while he was flying to
Los Angeles to work with Michael Jackson. Off the wall as in not
planned and such as things can get a little crazy at times if things
aren't planned too well. Living off the wall. Karen
Carpenter in a nutshell as Karen was working '9
to 5' in a way at the time as a teacher.
Another
note, Karen talked to me about the recording sessions and mentioned
that they had already dropped a couple songs "because Phil Ramone
thought that me singing 'Rock with You', which had sexual content,
and 'Off the Wall' with its mental health undertones would have
been
like trying to sell the Hindenburg to the record company executives
because of my girl next door image." I
kind of answered with, "Chances are because of the
sexual content on 'Rock with You' and the
'crazy' mental health references on 'Off the Wall' that the record
label, A&M, probably would have not let you release those songs
anyway, so it was good they got released somehow." Karen
was like, "Thanks for the extra input. I have been kind of mad
because
Phil keeps dragging his heels making me think that he just doesn't want
me doing those songs for some reason. I love those two
songs. I
really want to do those songs, but it feels like they are trying to
sabotage me. It's breaking my heart. I love those
songs. I want to
do them. But every time in the studio things get sidetracked for
one reason or another." Karen also
said, "I know we used Afternoon Delight that one time, but really Rock
with You is really our song, it was actually written about us. It
isn't out yet, but when it gets released you'll know." I was like
"Good choice, Rock with You it is. We can't really be a couple
until I
get older, but having our own song is a great start. I'll
definitely
look for it and get it when it comes out." Honestly, I got
the Rock with You single after it came out in November 1979 and I
played it until you could see white stuff in the grooves from being
played so much; Karen was long gone by then though. Also, the
"She's
Out of My Life" song being written about Karen Carpenter? The
answer
is no. Bahler (or whoever) would have known Karen only
briefly. Karen
was still teaching in Corning, NY during the week (unless maybe the
week of spring break around March or April 1979). I do not
remember
Karen
talking about that song really. It is possible she may have
suggested a couple words or such. I know 'cavalier' was one of
our 8th grade spelling words that year. I do remember Karen
saying, "I've
got
more work done on Michael Jackson's new album than on my own so
far.
Michael's album is almost done. Mine just barely feels
started."
Karen also said that her
solo project was way behind because with teaching, she had not been
able to devote much time in the studio. Karen would drive on
weekends
to New York City and then drive back before school. Over
5 hours
driving each
way. Karen would
usually drive to the airport and then fake it like she just came off
the plane. Rod and Karen used to joke around and call Phil's
house 'the compound' and Phil and Snitchy were the gestapo. "Make
a break for it." was the big joke. Karen said, "With those two
songs going to Michael Jackson,
I
only have about 4 or 5 other songs being worked on. Things are
just
not going well with the project. Phil Ramone keeps trying to get
me to
move in with him, but I keep putting him off. I am not sure how
much
longer I can keep putting him off." So yes, it was definitely
after
June 3 before Karen left for New York City and became a substitute for
herself because of the 'Michael
Jackson' reference here. Off the Wall was not finished until June
3rd. It was either two or three weeks of a substitute teacher (I
am
pretty sure two but not positive). I was like, "I know this
project is
really important to you. You also know how I feel about you
too. If
you can get it pushed back until after school lets out, I could
actually go with you if you wanted." And Karen was like, "Phil
would
allow just me there, even if you could go, I couldn't really take you
with me for the recordings and such. I would have to leave you
alone
in a hotel room most of the time by yourself. It just wouldn't be
worth it. I really wish you could go though. When the time
comes, I
know I am going to really miss you." I was like, "I am going to
miss
you too terribly. We have always been there for each other over
the
last 8 months, has it really been 8 months, wow, how time has
flown.
It seems like only yesterday you were asking if I minded if you talked
to me. Anyway, I have a feeling after they finish the Michael
Jackson
project that your solo project will be next in line." Yes, there
appeared and still appears to be a lot of stories from Phil Ramone
about what went on with Karen's solo album. After coming up with
"Rock with You" and "Off the Wall", Phil definitely wanted to be
Karen's producer at any cost (to Karen's bank account of course).
And after Phil had Rod give those songs to Michael Jackson, Karen was
definitely proud to have an honest brother like Richard to work
with. And when stories
don't match... True, somebody is not being honest about things.
You are getting smarter already (after speaking with the reader, we now
return you back to our regularly scheduled program).
XLIV. Rod Temperton
messes up. Second Rod call. Karen and Richard. Lifesavers
And a final side note
here. I vaguely
remember this so I am
pretty sure that this part is probably not very accurate yet,
but I am working on it. But
anyway, I remember in June 1979 that Karen and I walked down Pine
Street in Corning and used a pay phone in Woolworth's department
store. Before we left the school, Karen
took
off her 'clod hoppers' (shoes) and changed into sandals and just pulled
her dress off and had shorts and a shirt underneath. No nudity,
but
still a great show. I think Karen's
step cousin, Wendy,
worked at Woolworth's. Karen had a roll of
quarters
and was really upset at Rod
Temperton. We went into Woolworth's and kind of worked our way
back to the pay phone and then Karen put some quarters in and dialed
out to Phil's house and got Rod on the phone. Karen was like, "I
know you like Rod, but you need to hear this." when we were walking
down to the store. When he answered
the phone Rod
was like, "Hello Karen".
Karen was like, "How could you?" And Rod was
like, "It just slipped out. I know it was stupid of me.
They were talking about the album and it just slipped out about Darling
being one of your students. That elbow to the ribs you gave me
still hurts. I didn't mean anything by it, it just slipped
out." And Karen was like, "We both said nothing happened between
me and Ace, but they told Richard." And Rod spoke up and said, "I
really messed up, didn't I?" And Karen was like, "I'll say, they
already told Richard and Richard told me that I have a couple days to
clean out my desk and come back home where they can keep an eye on
me. They also put my solo project on indefinite hold and are
talking about cancelling it." And Karen was like, "Well, Ace, how
do you feel about your
buddy Rod now?" And I was like, "Sorry to hear Rod, I know it was
an accident and you didn't mean any harm. I also know that Karen
is really mad at you now and I am glad it is you and not me, but things
happen Rod and I can't speak for Karen, but as far as from me, I can't
be mad at you because I know you meant no harm." And Rod said,
"Thanks Ace. Just in case, Phil got the school phone number off
the phone bill and he called it up. I don't know if he has linked
it to Karen yet." And Karen said, "You men are all alike and
stick up for each other. Didn't you hear me Ace, I will be
leaving and I have to go back home. I won't be seeing you ever
again. Richard will be coming to get me in two days. I just
got you back and now I got to let you go again. I just can't take
it anymore." And Karen started breaking down in the store and
crying and one of the lady stockers at Woolworth's handed her some
tissues. And I was like, "Sorry Rod, but I really have to
go." And Rod was like, "I understand. Look after her and
I'll see what I can do." And we both hung up. Karen and I
were standing there and then I just started having tears run down my
face too. Karen and I just started heading towards the door to
outside. On the way, someone asked, "Are you two alright?"
And Karen and I just said, "Onions." and we went out the
door. On the way to the door I picked up what Karen was thinking
and I
started speeding up to get in front of her. I opened up the store
door
and Karen went out and I was right behind her but I sped up to get
between her and the highway out in front of the store. And just
as
Karen
got out the door, she looked out to the highway and said, "Where's a
Mack truck when you need one? I am tired of losing you Ace, let's
go
play in traffic so we can be together forever. I am tired of all
this." And I am keeping myself between Karen and the
highway. Then
Karen just starts to run and goes to grab my hand and I pull my hand
away and then she stops just on the curb. I didn't actually touch
her, but I was thinking of grabbing on to her shoulders before she went
into the road, and somehow it happened. Before
Karen reached the curb I shouted out, "Oh God, please help me." But
Karen had stopped herself before going into the road but her momentum
almost put her head and shoulders out into the road. Karen was
not really planning on going out into traffic but when I had pulled my
hand away, Karen hadn't realized how close she was to the road.
Afterwards,
Karen
was like, "I knew
you loved me and I knew you wouldn't let me do it. Thanks for
holding me back." And I was like, "Look where we are
standing. Honestly, I didn't touch you right now. There was
nothing there but somehow what I was thinking happened. I thought
of grabbing you by the shoulders, and somehow it happened." And
then I started breaking down and I was like, "Oh my God. Oh my
God. I almost lost you just now." And Karen was like,
"I felt you grab me. Oh my God, you're right. You couldn't
reach me from there. Why did
you pull your hand away? Why? Why? Don't you want to
be with me?"
And then I held my hands out to Karen and cried, "Don't you
remember?
You die before me. And then I have to wait to see you
again. I can't
die yet." And then I said, "No! No! I love you please
don't do this.
Don't you remember what Rod said? I can't touch you and you
can't
touch me or else we suffer throughout eternity wishing we could be back
in the flesh again. Could you come over here away from the road
and by
the
building so we can talk?" And she walked away from the road and
came
over beside me, and we leaned up against the side of the building, side
by side. Then Karen's step cousin Wendy came out of the store and
said, "Are you all right? I saw what happened." And we were
both bawling our eyes out
and I said, "Karen thought she dropped something in the road. I
almost lost her. I think we're all right now, but we're both
shaken up from all this. Thanks." And Karen pulled out her
teacher's pen and said, "I thought I dropped this. It's
the only thing I have that Ace and I have touched and I just wasn't
thinking. I'm
sorry Ace I put you through this." And I
was like, "So long as you're OK now and stay away from the road.
I'll be fine." Wendy went back inside
and then I said, "Look at us two
bawling like a couple of babies. I want to hug you so bad right
now, but we can't. Remember what Rod said
about you having a
short
life line and you going first and that I will be around a long time
after you go? I nearly lost you right now and I feel really
terrible,
but
remember, it isn't my time yet. If I play in traffic with you,
I'll
still be around, but you won't. And you know me, if a Mack truck
hit
me it would probably destroy the truck. I know it hurts. It
hurts me
too. These aren't fake tears we're crying." And she was
like, "What
are we going to do? My brother is coming to take me home in two
days
and I won't see you ever again." And I was like, "We still have
the
two days to be together. And who knows, things change. But
would you
rather spend these two days thinking the end is near and crying all of
the time or enjoying what time we still have together?" And she
was
like, "I know, but it just isn't fair. It is like someone is
playing
some cruel joke on us all the time. We finally meet the perfect
person
and we can't be together. It just isn't fair." And I was
like,
"Regardless if it's fair or not, I still love you and I know I always
will." And she was like, "I know what you're always thinking and
you
know what I'm always thinking, so I guess we need to pray for another
miracle. This is getting ridiculous." And I was like,
"Well, we got a
steep hill to climb as always, only this one is literal and figurative
at the same time." And she was like, "How did you get to be so
smart
all of a sudden?" And I was like, "Definitely got to be a great
teacher. And she just seems to be getting greater all the
time, er, um, sorry, more great." And she was like, "That's
better." And then I was like, "Actually, you're the mostest
bestest greatest person ever." And she was like, "I agree.
Some rules are made to be broken." And I was like, "As always,
you're always right. You are my english teacher after
all. We
probably ought to get going now. I think our backs have been up
against the wall long enough. Hopefully things will change again
for
the better soon. They did before." We
then walked up the hill and went home.
The
next day after school Karen said to me, "Richard is coming
tomorrow and I need you to just listen to what he says at first.
Don't interrupt him and let him speak. I think we are going to be
alright." I was like, "OK, I'm willing to try anything at this
point. I hope it works."
And then Richard shows up after
school on the next day and I am sitting in my chair and Karen is behind
her desk in her chair. There is a work crew that is also patching
the wall in Karen's classroom. Richard first stopped in across
the hall and yelled at Max and then Richard came over to Karen's
room. I think then Richard came just inside the room and I think
he said something like, "A little remodelling I see." and Richard looks
at Karen, then at me, then he looks at the wall and then looks across
the hall, shakes his head in disbelief, and then I think Richard looked
at Karen again and said, "him?" while looking at me and I think he then
said "and him?" while looking across the hall and Karen shook her head
yes. And I think Richard kind of smirked
and said something like, "That's definitely a big hole there" or
something like that and I think we all kind of smiled at each other.
And Richard is in the room and comes over
to me from the door and leans towards me on my right side and starts
talking with his left hand on the back of my
chair and his
right hand on the desktop of my chair.
Richard said, "Please hear me out on this. I
had a talk with Wendy and she told me all about what
happened at the store. Everything including how you, Ace, got
Karen
away from the road and calmed down. Also, just so you know, the
police
have my number in case anything more happens they can give me a
call.
We don't want anything more happening do we?" And Karen and I
both
shake our heads no. And then Richard looks over to Karen and
says, "If I get one more call about you, you will be out of here so
fast your head will spin. Got it?" And Karen shakes her
head yes and kind of smiles realizing what Richard just said. And
then Richard continues, "The
last thing my
sister needs is to have more problems than she already has. My
sister has had enough problems as it is and she doesn't need any
more. Her being accused of being with a younger student would
definitely be a big problem. From what I have heard from others,
and Karen included, you are definitely not the problem. Other
people talking was a problem. I remember
when I came here before and I noticed you two look away from each
other, I had a feeling. A good feeling because I had noticed that
she was feeling happier again. I like seeing my sister
happy. From
what I have heard from others around here, you and my sister tend to
solve problems and not create them." And then Richard reaches
around and shakes my right hand and says, "I want to thank you for
helping my sister feel better and be happier and saving her life.
She
has been through a lot over the years. I
also know that my
taking her away from here is not going to make her happy or feel
better. But I also need to make it perfectly clear that if you
cause any problems for my sister, whatsoever, you will wish you
hadn't. You would never hear the end of it. Is that
clear?" And I said, "Perfectly clear." And then Richard
looked over at Karen and Richard said, "I wasn't too hard on him just
now, was I?" And Karen said in a low voice, "You're fine."
And then Karen motioned Richard to look back at me and he did.
And then I looked
over at Karen and she shook her head yes and then I said, "You're
fine. I have a
younger sister myself and I know exactly what you mean. I
wouldn't want someone causing problems for my younger sister
either. And yes, I learned not to use the L word around your
sister. The last time I used that word about my younger sister; she
hit me between the eyes with a book and said she would hurt more than
my feelings if
I ever said it again, and she meant it too." And
Richard kind of
laughed and said, "You definitely know my sister alright and she must
like you. If
I remember right, Karen, you threw a chair at me that one time."
And Karen was like, "Was that the time I broke the TV and I got
grounded for a month?" And Richard said, "If I remember right,
you
also aimed for my head." And Karen said, "You ducked or else I
would
have hit your head instead of the TV so technically the broken TV was
all your
fault." And Richard said, "How was that my
fault that you tried to
take my head off?" And Karen said, "I still think it would be an
improvement. Ah, the good old days."
And
I was like, "Yeah, me and my sister fight a lot too. The other
day she
shut and locked me out of my room, so I grabbed a ball point pen and
started trying to poke a hole in the door to get back in. Did I
get it
for that." And Karen is like, "I met his dad. His dad is
big like Uncle Herbie. Over
250 pounds. Ace is kind of the runt of the litter. His
sister is really nice though. I noticed you had a difficult time
sitting not too long ago, did you learn anything?" And I said,
"I learned that bic
pens are cheap and break easily on solid oak doors. Next time I
should
use a hatchet or an axe." And Karen laughed and Richard looked at
me
and then Karen and said, "Just checking to make sure. You sound
like
someone else I know." And then Richard leaned
his head back to keep from laughing and said, "I'm having a hard time
figuring out who is corrupting who here." And I was like, "Don't
worry Richard, people that know me know that I was corrupted a long
time before I met your sister." or
something like that. And
then I
said, "Karen and I always enjoy making each other feel
better. We like making each other smile and feel happy. We
have done it so long now that all we really have to do is look at each
other and we feel better." And then Karen and I just looked at
each other and we both started smiling. And then Richard said, "That
Mr. Hyde fellow talked my ear
off. He told me everything. How much are you willing to
offer me to keep my mouth
shut about all this Karen? This is going to cost you." And then
Karen
said
with a devilish look on her face, "That's my Richard, always the
businessman. Let's make a deal. Let's start putting our
cards out on the table..." I remember Richard saying, "Welcome to
the family" and then the family dirty
laundry
gets aired in front of me and this page gets [censored] for a change
because I feel it is Karen, Richard, and my business and needs to
remain that way. During part of this I
think I remember Richard saying
something like, "Mom always makes this big fuss over me all the time
and it's awkward because I don't want people to think that I'm a mama's
boy because I'm not. Being a favorite has its drawbacks too you
know
but I put up with it." And I think Karen said something like,
"It's
true. It can be embarrassing sometimes being the favorite which
is
why
I prefer being the black sheep of the family. I'd rather get
yelled at
than fussed over. Richard was always the
clean one and I was always the one getting yelled at for dragging mud
through the house. Mom likes him
best. He's mom's favorite." And
yes, I have some dirty
laundry too. And like Karen, I'd rather be yelled at than fussed
over too. The turning point was when Karen said, "Richard,
hold that thought
for a second, I have to talk to Ace." And then Karen talked about
what
I was thinking at the time, and then Karen was like, "Ace, you are
distracting me. You need to go to the next one. You can
revisit that
one later." And then I was like, "OK, the one with the older
couple
and..." And Karen was like, "Yes, that one." And Karen and
I looked
at each other. And then I said, "That's a bit risky. They
will probably hate you too for just saying that stuff." And Karen
said, "I know, I'm already the black sheep anyway but it would
definitely lose Richard's favorite status." And I was like, "It
probably would work in a devilish kind of way, but would you really be
willing to go through with it? It could backfire you know."
And Karen and I gave each other devilish looks so I knew she would be
willing to go through with it if necessary. And Richard looked
over and said, "I know that
look.
Oh my God. There's two Karens." And Karen and I just looked
at
Richard and said in unison, "Other direction Richard" in our 'evil'
sounding voices. Richard
was
fairly cooperative after that and saying, "But I thought we agreed that
we would never talk about that one to mom and dad."
And Karen said, "I'm desperate." After
Richard and Karen reached an
agreement not to rat on each other, Karen said,
"Does this mean I can stay Richard?" And Richard said, "Of
course, don't worry. I will just tell them the truth that the
school is short teachers and that they really need you as a
teacher.
I'll also
tell them that the boy reminds you of me when I was younger so there's
nothing for them to worry about. OK, I noticed you two are almost
exactly alike, that would scare them, it scared me a little bit ago, so
I'll stretch the truth a
little bit on that one, but they always believe me because I'm their
favorite as you know. You two also have a rule that you don't
touch
each other and try to stay at least a foot away from each other so that
people don't accuse you of anything. I'll leave out that soul
mate
stuff. They just wouldn't understand. I don't understand it
myself.
And also, if only half of
the stories I heard about you two are true then I know I am leaving you
in capable hands Karen and there shouldn't be any more problems.
Can
you think of anything
else?" And Karen and I both said, "Yes. Thank you
Richard. This
means a lot
to us." And then Richard said, "Actually,
I
need to thank you. Phil Ramone usually has something up his
sleeve and
Rod Temperton is one of his cronies. How did you get Rod to spill
his
guts to Alpert and Moss like that. No one has ever turned against
Phil
before. I imagine Rod will pay for that one." And Karen
said, "Rod
just let it slip out about Darling being one of my students. I
don't
know why. He just did." And Richard was like, "Alpert and
Moss were
actually impressed and they liked the idea of the romantic and physical
love theme to your album, but they are a bit reserved because of the
underaged student issue and Phil Ramone's track record of getting extra
free publicity through the tabloids. And you know I don't want my
sister's name dragged through the mud just to try and make an extra
couple bucks." And then I believe Richard said something like,
"Ace has a gag order placed on him and so his name or picture can't be
used in the tabloids anyway. I don't know why or how because not
even the Pope can get one of these. I have been trying to get you
on that list for almost three years now, but it seems like you need to
be a mass murderer like Charles Manson to get on that list. How
do you rate? Care to explain Ace?"
And I believe Karen
said something like, "I
have the guy's card here in my diary. We can talk later Richard,
but
Ace isn't allowed to know why, but the guy told me and had me promise
not to tell Ace. It's nothing bad really. Ace did nothing
wrong." Karen and I had had a few pictures
of us together taken in
a photo booth. Karen used to use them as bookmarks. Those
pictures
had disappeared until they were found attached to the rejected article
by Itchie. And I
believe but I
am not
totally sure that Karen also said to Richard, "This is big. I
guess I can give you a hint without telling him. Remember
that thesis that you wrote and did all that research and got an F
because the teacher said, if he's not written in the Bible then he
doesn't exist? Well, Ace is apparently the one that you wrote
about
that doesn't exist." And I believe Richard said, "Him? Are
you
sure?" And I believe Karen said quietly, "Yes. Him."
And then Karen
said, "I'm
sorry about the other day Ace. I thought that story was being released
and I really thought my life was over. I'm sorry for dragging you
through all of that. As you can tell, Richard is the brains, I'm
not."
And I was like, "I was really glad I was there with you. I am
also
really happy that things turned out the way they did. I would
gladly
do
it all over again so long as you are all right. And you
definitely
have
brains too. Remember when I shined that light in your ears and it
didn't make it to the other side?" And Karen gave me that 'not
funny
Ace' look. Richard was definitely very
upset that the article had
even been written at all. Sir Nicholas also gave Karen his
business
card, which Karen put in her diary, just in case Phil tried to give
Karen any problems (extortion and blackmail were both mentioned as
possible problems also) about the article not being published.
Richard
also told me, off to the side, that he had never actually wished to
take Karen 'back home' and that really Richard and Karen made that
story up to keep people from knowing that Richard was there at the
school to pick up the letters and Richard would take it from
there.
Richard said, "You're a real lifesaver." And I asked Karen,
"Which are
your favorite, Pepp-o-mint or wint-o-green lifesavers?" And Karen
said, "Wint-o-green because I love winter and Christmas time."
And
then Richard continued, "You actually saved Karen's life twice
now.
Once at the
store and another by keeping this story out of the papers with that gag
order of yours. The article can't be published thanks to you Ace,
so
we
can't get him for libel, but I'll figure something out. I'm not
going
to let someone drag my sister's name through the mud." And I was
like,
"If there's anything I can do to help. Let me know. I
definitely
don't
want her name dragged through the mud either." And
Richard continued, "I know it means a lot to you
two to stay together longer and
I am pretty sure that I am
not going to regret this like some other things in my past that I have
done. We
all
make mistakes, and I feel my biggest mistake right now would be making
you come home with me Karen. A definite mistake on my part
because I
know that look you gave me a little while ago and I know I probably
wouldn't make it to the plane and they probably would never find my
body. Do you promise not to tell on
me?" And
Karen said, "So long as I stay here until the school year ends, I
promise not to tell." And then
Richard said, "I know what you're thinking about Phil and Itchie, but
this is business. In business it is always best to keep your
friends close but your enemies closer so that you know what they are up
to. Promise me that you won't let Phil and Itchie know that you
got this article." And Karen shook her head yes and said, "I
promise." And then Richard continued, "Also promise me that if you
bring him home to meet the
folks that you give me notice because I wouldn't miss the looks on
their faces for the world. This even outdoes when you dragged the
neighbor's dog home and said he was a stray and asked if we could keep
him." And Karen looked at me and said, "It was kind of funny
because I
was dragging the dog behind me, a german shepard (great dane?), and the
dog was
trying to run away and dragging me down the street." And I was
like, "You too? I did the
same thing
when I was younger. The dog was a bassett hound and still had his
chain and tags and I was literally dragging him down the street as the
dog wasn't
walking by himself." And Karen said, "If you want, we can get a
dog, but
we'll
talk about it later." And Richard said, "You two are funny.
And I guess you can cross out cult figure on your
to do list Karen. I do
miss
you, but I can tell that you belong here. You look so happy
again after I said you could stay just now. You're my
sister. I
couldn't take that happiness away from you and besides with that gag
order, you're safer here than you would be back home in Downey." And
Richard and I shook hands again and Richard was like, "I know you'll
take good care of my sister." And I was like, "I will and thanks
again." And Richard was like, "Actually,
Ace, Karen never threw a
chair at me. We just made that up." And I was like, "I
wouldn't
really use a hatchet or an axe on my door or my sister either. A
chainsaw maybe.
And, like Karen, I am kind of the black sheep of the family too."
Then
Richard kind of gave me a 'you almost blew it just now' look and then
went
around to the other side of the desk and hugged Karen with a big
hug. Richard
said, "We have to look out for each other." to Karen and Karen said, "I
know and thank you again. This really does mean a lot to
me." And
then Richard
left by himself. And
then Richard came
back around by the door again and said, "I forgot. I need a
ride. Karen?" And Karen said, "It will cost you.
[big smile] Actually, I have a
couple bucks extra left over if you need it. We can talk in the
car." I
got up and left the room and Richard and Karen left together as
well. Also note, Richard didn't always say "Karen" all of the
time and sometimes said "sis" and once or twice he said, "sissy".
I just am not sure which times.
The next day of course, Karen and I talked. Karen told
me,
"That's my brother Richard. He knows me best even better than
you. You and I have our secrets, so Richard knows I care a lot
about you because I always tell Richard everything. I kind of set
this whole thing up, if you noticed, so that you and Richard could
meet. It went really well. My brother Richard doesn't
usually make jokes so when we came up with that TV and the chair story,
I knew that at least my brother was comfortable around you. That
means a lot to me. You are very special, but still, I don't know
what I would do sometimes if it wasn't for my brother Richard helping
me out all the time. No one could ever replace my brother and I
noticed that you didn't feel threatened by that." And I was like,
"I know you and Richard are close and that's a good thing really.
No one can be there all of the time and it's nice having a backup just
in case. I guess I'm kind of your backup now which is
great. I'm not looking to be your everything. I'm looking
more to be that something extra that tries to make you feel better when
things aren't going so well and if things are going well I can still
keep trying to make you feel even better somehow. The short
version, I guess I'm not looking to be your everything, but I guess I'm
looking to be your everything else. I hope that
makes sense." And Karen was like, "Perfect sense. You just
explained why I get jealous and you don't. I'm looking to be your
everything and you're not." And I was like, "Holy cow, I think I
just figured it out too. I love you for who you are and I don't
ever want to change who you are. You keep hoping that I don't
change. So I think we both love each other for who we are just in
our own different ways I guess." And Karen was like, "Well, the
others will start coming in shortly and I just want you to know that
you passed my little test." And of course me, "Passing tests is
better than passing gas I guess. What I mean to say is..."
And Karen says, "...I know" And then we both said, "I love you
too" at the same time of course. But yes, Karen had two guys
fighting over her so that was another thing crossed off of her ‘to do’
list (which people call bucket lists now I guess). But it was
glaringly obvious between Richard and me that around Karen we were both
just a couple of trained seals I guess you could call us. We talked
when Karen allowed us to talk and we both listened when Karen wanted us
to listen. And yes, it was really Karen’s idea to go home
actually, but as always, Richard was the favorite, so he covered for
his younger sister like always. Yup, just a couple of trained
seals.
This paragraph added on August 11, 2021. As far as Karen actually
trying to commit suicide by overdosing on aspirin and faking running
into traffic and such, no, Karen was honestly not trying to commit
suicide. Why then? Well, with her celebrity status, Karen
wanted to make sure I cared about her and not just her being a
celebrity. Karen wanted to make sure I wasn’t faking it so to
speak. We had decided to wait until I got older, but Karen wanted
to see if the “wait would be worth it” or not. (And hopefully
explained more fully on October 16, 2021) As Karen found out
through all of that, I did care, but I also cared enough not to cause
Karen extra problems of getting accused of stuff she was not guilty
of. So I did still keep my distance. That was “Karen’s
little test” that she said I passed in the paragraph above. No, I
didn’t really care much about Karen’s celebrity status or such but I
cared about Karen, the person. But this started with the being
silent after the Mrs. Woeppel knife incident and then Karen being
confused as we weren't talking. Karen started thinking that I was
upset with her for not talking. But that 'mixed signals' thing
with the idea when most people won't talk with each other, they get
upset. I wasn't upset with Karen for not talking, I was just
hoping that all that stuff that was getting spread around about Karen
and me would stop if Karen and I stopped talking. It was
originally Karen's idea but she forgot. And then with Max being
even more controlling and threatening towards Karen that he would try
and get
her fired if Karen and I talked again after Karen and I stopped
talking. So Karen swallowed a bunch of aspirin which got her in
the hopital so we could talk together outside school. Then the
Mad Max incident. Then the other Rod call and the traffic
incident. And the 'playing in traffic' incident was because of
Karen's rules of finishing what she started but also because she was
kind of hoping to make a bad solo album so that her brother wouldn't
quit music. Karen also thought I might have been upset about her
giving away the "Rock with You" song, but I reminded Karen that I was
kind of the one that talked her into giving that song up. Yes, in
mid May 1979 a lot of stuff happened all at once or as they say, "the
sh*t hit the fan" in more ways than one. And before all that was
when Sir Nicholas Born had shown up with the suppression order
stuff and the article from Itchie that had been suppressed. So,
yes, I got to see Karen Carpenter drive herself
bonkers in May 1979. And holy cow when Karen goes bonkers,
pandemonium, chaos and like I said, holy cow; holy mackerels even; holy
sh*t; there, I said it finally. And the other big miracle worker
(besides John Heib) was Karen's brother Richard who flew out on short
notice and explained to Karen that everything was going to be all
right. Karen had created this big smoke screen with the fake
suicide stuff to try and hide talking to others about Max being
controlling but it was actually kick started by an article written by
Itchie that Karen created a bigger smoke screen. Karen had been
figuring that the article by Itchie had been published and that Karen
might have problems with A&M and her career. Richard
explained about the suppression order and that the article (or any
future articles) could not be published and that Richard would keep it
hidden and that Karen was fine and could finish her teaching job and
Karen wasn't in jeopardy of losing her career or recording contract
since nothing could be published. Karen always trusted her
brother Richard. After the 'lifesavers' meeting with Richard and
Richard agreeing to cover for his sister and explaining what happened,
Karen calmed down and was fine after that. But Karen wasn't
actually suicidal, Karen was hoping that by acting 'crazy' that Max
would leave her alone as what guy wants a crazy chick? OK, you
got me there, some guy named Ace would have been happy with a crazy
chick so long as it was Karen whether she had a music career or
not. And no, Karen wasn't actually crazy or suicidal, but after
the smoke screen cleared Karen knew who really cared about her.
This paragraph added on February 11, 2021. And so when I see all
of this 'starving for attention' nonsense written about Karen I know
better. These incidents with Karen is how I know
better. Karen didn't pretend to commit suicide at home.
Karen didn't feel controlled or any of that nonsense by her
family. I know for a fact that Max was controlling Karen and
Karen was not used to being controlled. Karen's reaction was to
get a hold of her brother and pull a few stunts to get her out of her
teaching job and away from Max and Max's controlling behavior.
You don't commit suicide by taking aspirin. You don't commit
suicide by stopping on the curb before running into traffic.
Karen got my attention. I warned Max with "if you come within an
arms reach of Karen or me again; I'll kill you" and Max knew I meant
it. Karen was being controlled by Max. Karen was NOT being
controlled by her family. Point blank. Karen wanted to get
away from Max and go to her family as Karen didn't want to be
controlled (and I can't blame her either). I intervened and Karen
stayed as she knew Max wasn't going to bother her anymore after what
happened between Karen, me, Max, John Heib, Max's dad, Buddy Ebsen and
others. When Richard says that Karen wasn't suicidal, that is
truth. Richard didn't even know about this stuff, but Richard
knew something was really bad there if Karen was calling him and his
mom and wanting to go home and get away from Corning and her teaching
job. Karen didn't take the teaching job to get away from her
family (she stayed with her step cousin). Karen was looking to
try something different and that 'mid life crisis' type thing.
Karen's family was actually Karen's crutch so to speak as with any
problems, Karen's family would be supportive and be there for Karen and
ask questions later. If Karen felt stifled or controlled by her
family, she wouldn't go back to that just like she wouldn't go back to
Max and that mess. Karen would have just snuck off and
disappeared. Karen wasn't suicidal at home (as I believe Richard
has said that Karen wasn't suicidal) and she really wasn't actually
suicidal with the Max stuff either. But Karen wanted attention
and she got it. Me, John Heib, Max's dad, Buddy Ebsen, mom and
dad, Richard and so on. Max got attention too but not the
attention he was wanting. So honestly, Karen felt unloved to a
point during the Max stuff. Before and after the Max stuff, Karen
didn't feel unloved or 'controlled' as all those that use someone need
to control that someone in order to use them (which was what Max had
been doing and the 'user' talk I had with Karen before this was me
trying to get Karen to open up about the Max situation but she didn't
open up at that time). Karen hadn't been in a situation like
that, so Karen didn't know what to do or who to trust.
Afterwards, Karen knew that all she had to do was ask. But then
again, later, Karen kind of did the same thing in 1982 with the
Levenkron Clinic mess. Karen told me that she felt unloved there
too. Karen also felt unloved by Thomas Burris too. So yes,
a distinct pattern of if Karen felt unloved, she would look to get rid
of the one(s) she felt unloved around. Karen never felt unloved
by her immediate family (mom, dad, Richard). Unlike others,
Karen's family never left Karen but they did care enough that if Karen
wanted her space, Karen had her space. If Karen wanted to do
something, they let Karen do it. That's not control.
Telling someone that if they talk to someone that you are going to have
them fired and/or arrested is control and manipulation which was what
Max had been doing. The Thomas Burris manipulation and the
twisting too as honestly, Karen had made a promise to marry Thomas
Burris. Yes, I agree that Karen should have backed out and she
could have, but she didn't. The truth is that Karen had made a
promise and she kept that promise. Karen's mom didn't mention
that to Karen during the People magazine speech which was why Karen
didn't feel her mom's speech was that good, but Karen was always one
for keeping her promises. Karen had four, not three, signs of
change and that was the other deciding factor of why Karen got married
to Tom and didn't break her promise. Tom had broke about every
promise ever made to Karen not before but after they got married and
Karen was returning that favor too but that is talked about later
on. Later on (1983 phone call about Levenkron and other ketchup,
I mean catch up stuff too) threatening to have someone committed to
Bellevue if Karen talked about stuff or didn't do what someone asked
because Karen signed a paper is manipulation and control too.
Karen's family didn't control Karen but Karen's family was always
supportive of Karen and Karen honestly never felt unloved by her
family. Karen did feel unloved by Max Baer Jr., many therapists,
Steven Levenkron, Thomas Burris, Phil and Itchie Ramone and a few
others too. As far as Phil and Itchie Ramone, I discuss that
later too, but actually Karen was around Phil and Itchie mostly because
she didn't want to take a chance of Phil sneaking off and releasing her
solo album behind Karen's back (Phil still had the copy of Karen's solo
album, hint). Because I hadn't kept in contact, Karen kind of
felt unloved by me too at one time (between June 1979 and June
1981). And with that, no, Karen never felt unloved by her family,
ever. Karen had started feeling her family was being
overprotective of her but not controlling. And the truth was that
Karen was a pure tomboy and couldn't be controlled, but she would allow
someone to be protective. Karen’s family knew that. I knew
that. Others didn’t and don't know Karen and it shows.
And on February 11, 2021 I am adding this too. I saw a place on
the internet that listed seven signs that someone felt unloved as a
child. I added an eighth sign.
1) Lack of trust - Karen trusted others unless they proved
otherwise. Nope.
2) Poor emotional intelligence - Nope. Karen had good control of
her emotions for the most part. We all have our moments though.
3) Fear of failure - Nope. Karen would get nervousness about
having a bad performance but not fear.
4) Toxic relationships - To some degree, yes. Most of Karen's
relationships weren't toxic. Karen was not used
to 'fake' people and she got blindsided a couple times.
5) Insecurity and Attachment - Nope. Love 'em and leave 'em see
#4.
6) Depression and anxiety - Nope. Karen was normally happy and
clowning around.
7) Oversensitivity - Kind of. Karen cared a lot. Karen
would become oversensitive to those she felt didn't care. So more
reverse oversensitivity in Karen's case I feel.
8) Rocking motion - This one I added and Karen and I would look to see
if others did this. This for Karen and me was a big one as those
that would just sit and rock in a chair that didn't rock back and forth
were feeling unloved. Karen didn't do this.
In all honesty, Richard was very caring towards his sister
when out of the public eye. The truth was that Richard wanted
people to see him as a ruthless person that would trample over his own
family to get what he wanted. Richard felt this image was what he
needed as Richard did not want to be thought of as a nice guy that
could be taken advantage of or such in business dealings.
Truthfully, Richard and Karen both worked together to try and project
Richard as being ruthless, but behind the scenes, Richard and Karen
always worked together and always helped each other as best as they
could. Most of the time, Richard and Karen were all that they had.
XLV. Karen's solo
album part 2
With the elbow to the gut
by Karen to Rod in May 1979 because
Rod talked about Karen around a 14 year old (me), a boss at A & M
overheard this from Rod and was almost ready to 'pull the plug' with
that being a possible publicity nightmare if that information got
out.
Richard was told about what Rod said and so Richard came out to New
York State to check on things. The plug didn't get pulled.
Also,
people have asked, "Would A & M have rejected 'Rock with You' and
'Off the Wall'?' and the answer is most likely no rejection as the
songs were playful and not really anti family or such but Phil needed
an excuse as to why he was giving those songs away. P*ss poor
excuse
that falls apart easily, but still, an excuse. "He's Out of My
Life"
was rejected because Phil thought of it being too much like a typical
Carpenters song. And actually, if one of those songs had been
done
then chances are the record company and Richard would have been behind
releasing it in 1980. But Karen had told Richard that most of the
good
stuff had been siphoned off for Michael's album and that Karen was
hoping the album didn't get released, but it was a huge waste of money
too which would definitely be a HUGE reason as to why A & M and
Richard wouldn't want Karen trying to do another solo album which was
what Karen was hoping for that she wouldn't get asked to do another
solo album again. Karen was happy with Richard and the Carpenters
and
all they had accomplished together. I mean cripe, at the
autograph
tables people would swarm Karen and Richard would be twiddling his
thumbs sometimes and Karen would feel bad for Richard as Richard had
done the most work while Karen would just come in for about 5 minutes
in the studio and sing and get all these praises and such from the
fans. Karen and her mom were always grateful for the effort that
Richard put in and if it hadn't been for Richard asking, Karen wouldn't
have known she could sing to begin with. And I know she could
sing,
but Karen was still hoping to get her big break to pitch in the major
leagues for I believe it was $12,500 a year at the time in the early to
mid 1970s. And yes if a team had signed her, she would have quit
music
and played baseball. Probably the biggest reason Karen didn't get
signed was that she only had about a 77 mph fastball (Randy Jones was
the slowest pitcher at the time with a 75 mph fastball), shhh, but they
would tell Karen that they didn't have the facilities for an extra
"girl's shower". At least one team had seriously thought about it
as
Karen was a celebrity and it would be a crowd draw, but they still
stuck by the "no separate girl's shower" argument. Karen
understood as
she wanted to be a part of the team and didn't feel she needed special
treatment because she was a girl, but a lot of the ball players have
wives and that wouldn't look too good, so Karen understood but she
still tried to get in there and be a professional baseball
player.
In
early June 1979 was the 100K meeting with Karen, Rod, Phil, Itchie and
Itchie's toy poodle. A lot of swearing by Phil and Itchie and Rod
left
the room not too long after the meeting started. Karen and I had
talked before that meeting and I had told Karen that it was her
decision but I would do what I could to help. Phil was boiling
mad and
Karen had told me that Phil always starts out with his lowest bid and
if you disagree, Phil goes higher and doesn't come down. Also, I
let
Karen decide as Karen knew my decision was to just let Phil go but it
wasn't my project or my money, but I just never liked Phil as a person
let alone as a producer after hearing all that had gone on with the
solo album. Anyway, we finally start out and I ask Phil, "How
much?"
and Phil mumbles a bit and then says, "a hundred thousand" and then I
look at Karen and I just hold my hands out to Karen to say "Well?" but
I didn't say it. And then Karen says, "It's a deal." and Phil's
mouth
dropped as Karen and I knew that this extra was to pay Rod Temperton
and several other incidentals and the hundred grand was the 'rock
bottom' and Phil was only going to go higher, not lower if we argued
(that was why the 400 grand originally as Phil started out lower, but
they argued and the price went up). The other part too was that
this
was to cover whatever else needed to be done (which was extra studio
time between June 1979, plus production costs and musicians and so on,
this was it). Karen contacted Richard and Richard set it up so
that
the money came from future Carpenter royalties with A & M (still
not positive, but nearly 100% sure it was Karen and Richard's future
royalties, not just Karen's). And Karen explained to me later
that if
we had cut Phil loose that Rod wouldn't have been paid back for a while
by Phil for the money Phil borrowed from Rod during the Ultimate
Injunction crisis. But yeah, it was during all this mess that was
the
making of Karen's solo album that Karen started calling her solo album,
"A Can of Worms" to me around early June 1979. It was just a big
mess.
The
original concept for Karen's solo album was
romantic versus physical love. The romantic Darling and the
physical Baby so to speak (Baby wasn't around when Rod and I talked
about this concept in mid May 1979). The choice between romance
and 'just
getting it on'. And the closing song was to be 'Rock with You'
with the combination of romance and physical love. Of course,
that all fell apart in a hurry after Tom Burris came along around April
or May 1980 and certain
songs got siphoned off by Phil Ramone to try and get Michael Jackson as
a client. Karen's album started out great with Rod Temperton and
myself providing a ton of ideas in 1979, but ended up just as great as
Karen's marriage to Tom Burris in 1980 and also
as
great as Phil Ramone's attempt to produce Michael Jackson.
As far as the songs for Karen's solo album themselves? Well,
'Rock with You' was written when Karen talked to Rod about me, and
Karen and I wishing to 'rock together'. 'Off the Wall' was
written based on the "Off the Wall" conversation that happened between
Karen, Rod and I on the day that I bounced the teacher, Max, off the
wall literally which was the same day that Rod left for Los Angeles as
well for two weeks. 'She's Out of My Life' was written by Tom
Bahler
with probably a couple touch ups to the lyrics by Karen. These
three were given to Michael Jackson and then shelved for Karen.
'Something's Missing' was written before Karen's solo album and not
about Karen or me. Karen's story behind her singing the song had
everyone
in the studio (including Jay Asher and Paul Jabara) saying "aw" way
back when including a tear from Jay
Asher apparently. Something's Missing
was
originally recorded after Karen told the people in the studio about a
conversation Karen and I had during our "heart to heart" talk.
And the story from Karen in the studio went, "I have a student in my
class that is a real sweetheart and said when he misses me, he hugs his
pillow, and I asked him if it helps and he said, no, it only helps
remind him that something's missing and he can't have it until he gets
older." And the whole studio said,
"Aw." 'Lovelines'
was about both romance
and physical and was probably done
in late 1979 or early 1980 based on the physical and emotional love
theme talk during our
off the wall call.
'If We Try' was also probably late 1979 or early 1980 and was a Darling
romance song. 'It's Really You' was probably 1979 as well and
another Darling Romance. 'Midnight' was a
reference to Karen
using a night light at night. Karen told me that her and Rod just
opened Karen's diary up to a page and that page ended up being our
September 1978 night light talk so Rod wrote a song based on that
story. 'Truly You' was most likely one of
the first
songs done for the album before the physical versus romance idea came
about even. I also remember Karen saying, "I did a hard rock type
song too called Keep My Lovelight Burning, which you might like, but
probably not because the chorus is wimpy. You probably would have
enjoyed being there because it was done by Evie Sands and Ben Weitsman
who were involved in the Beatlemania show." Another
one that ended up being a joke 'at the office' was Karen invented a new
word on her new song "Still in Love with You", buddaho. Karen
even said, "I have no idea what buddaho means. It just kind of
slipped out like that." The joke around the office was that Karen
set a precedent on her solo album of inventing a new word that has no
meaning. I was there when Rod had a friend of his (Russell
Javors?) call Karen up
and pretend to be a person from Merriam Webster (the dictionary
company) and asked Karen about the meaning of the word 'buddaho' for
the new edition of the dictionary. The call was made to the
school and Rod was the one who knew the school phone number. If
Karen had done another solo
album the word "mannahay"
probably would have come out somehow. But not to be. So
anyway, for the definition of buddaho see mannahay and for the
definition of mannahay see buddaho. That was my contribution to
this phone call as when Karen got the phone call she said to me,
"Quick, what does buddaho mean?" And I said back, "Mannahay and
for the definition of mannahay see buddaho" and we laughed as Karen
repeated it back over the phone to I believe Russell Javors with I
think Rod Temperton in the background (Karen and I on one end and
Russell and Rod on the other). And in the song “Guess I Just
Lost My Head” Karen meant to say ‘riles’ but said ‘rives’
instead. It still works I guess. Karen mentioned that she
had
a song with the line "Beatle tune" in it that reminded her of me as I
sang Beatle tunes to her quite a bit during homeroom (Making Love In
The Afternoon). Karen also mentioned meeting Paul Simon as well
(Still Crazy After All These Years & I Do It For Your Love).
There was a recording engineer named Glenn Berger that apparently
snapped according to Karen when Paul was just giving pointers on ideas
for a horn section and such that Paul dropped when Paul originally
recorded the songs. I guess Glenn went ballistic as Karen called
it and secretly they started referring to Glenn as “Spaz” after
this. Karen thought it was kind of cute that Glenn stuck up for
her like that but also Karen was a bit worried as she didn’t think that
Paul deserved getting yelled at like that for just sharing ideas.
Karen kind of wondered if maybe Glenn got Phil and Paul mixed up as
usually Phil was cussing most of the time. Also, Karen picked
"Make Believe It's Your First Time" as most people saw it as a song
about virginity, but Karen also saw that song as a song about
reincarnation as well. Karen loved double meanings in
songs. The
'making love' type songs were inspired by events after
the 'Cubby O'Brien' visit story. The 'dancing' songs were
inspired by
the 'Karen turns ostrich' story above. I believe "Make Believe
It's
Your First Time" was inspired by Karen and my 'past lives' story as
Karen felt the song worked on two levels of virginity but also as far
as reincarnation, dual meaning.
"Make Beieve It's Your First Time was probably
Karen's favorite song that was released from her solo album because
Karen loved doing songs that had hidden or double meanings. "Rock
with You" was Karen's favorite (and mine too) hands down, but that was
never done passed a partial recording and not even really a demo.
But
listen to the songs for
the 'romance' and / or the
'physical' love aspect in the lyrics. 'Making
Love in the
Afternoon' -
Physical, see how that works? Also, I
believe Karen started recording her solo album before we had 'pet
names' for each other. Some of the Baby songs may have been about
me as well. I remember sometime when Karen said to me something
like, "I called you Baby in a few songs because I didn't really have a
pet name for you yet". I have
a
feeling that the original recordings probably burned up somewhere after
that fire in California or wherever that wiped out most of the
recordings for
several major labels. Most of the demos and stuff were probably
destroyed. I have a strong feeling that Rod Temperton was the one
that snuck out the outtakes and such. Rod snuck out copies of
'Rock with You' and 'Off the Wall' to Karen from Michael Jackson's
album back around April / May 1979 and Karen's own demos as well.
Karen also said that when Phil brought Rod Temperton on that Phil had
Rod sign a paper that kept Rod from publicly talking about what went on
with Karen’s solo album. Karen told me
that she didn't actually write
songs herself, but she would
usually tell stories that others might create songs from, or a story
about her motivation for singing a song a certain way or a story about
why she chose a
certain song to sing. Karen also said that
Rod Temperton was the one that usually worked the 'control board'
during her recording sessions. Rod also had private nicknames
such as “Spaz” for Glenn Berger. Phil was “a**hole”. And
Phil and Snitchy were the gestapo at the Compound (Phil’s house).
Because they were prisoners, Karen was “Number One” and Rod was “Number
Two” as Rod felt that Phil crapped on him a lot and Karen got p*ssed
on. Karen also said
that Rod had come up with a nickname of “Karen’s Protector” for me.
Karen said that Rod had always felt a presence watching
over her and trying to comfort her and looking out for her but wasn't
physically there. I guess Phil or Itchie overheard Rod and Karen
mention “Karen’s Protector” and figured that Rod and Karen were talking
about Phil and not about someone else (OK, modesty or whatever over,
about me).
What Karen's solo album started out as was a 'story within a
group of
stories'. These stories would have been...
Side 1
1. Lovelines (The beginning, the lovelines of romance
[Darling]
and physical [Baby], which works out?)
1+. Make Believe It's Your First Time (Anything more
'romantic'
than your first?)
2. Making Love in the Afternoon (Making love -
physical, starting
out with choosing physical)
3. Still in Love with You (Made love in the afternoon
and still
ready for more)
4. If I Had You (Wanting more physical again, but not
there yet)
5. If We Try (Needing more romance as just physical is
not
cutting it, Darling reenters)
6. Something's Missing (Darling is romantic. Baby
is
physical. Romance is missing.)
Side 2
7. My Body Keeps Changing My Mind (Still a need and
desire to try
being physical again)
8. Off the Wall (Things get crazy as physical starts
going out of
control without romance)
9. Don't Try To Win Me Back Again (Just being physical
is not
enough. Time to leave Baby)
10. He's Out of My Life (Goodbye physical. Done.
Bye bye
Baby bye bye.)
10+. Guess I Just Lost My Head (Things happen, move on,
reflecting)
11. It's Really You (Romance, romance, romance. Baby
gone,
Darling reenters again)
12. Rock with You (Getting physical with romance and having
it all come
together with Darling like real love should)
The story within the group of stories from Karen's solo
album. Karen's
idea was to try and have the songs link together so that each song told
part of a larger story and the story was cumulative. And
yes, three of the stories (8, 10, 12) were siphoned off to Michael
Jackson's Off the Wall album thus destroying Karen's album flow from
the start and it just kept getting worst.
Maybe could have substituted Remember When Loving Took All Night in for
Off the Wall which would have changed the 'conflict' a little but might
possibly have worked. Although, honestly, losing #10 was not a
major loss like #8 and #12
were. #8 was the 'out of control' song and
#12 was the 'combination
of physical and romance' song and there really wasn't other songs to
take their place 'in the story line'. Rod
Temperton was not much of a fan of Tom Bahler for some
reason. Rod would have most likely tried to take #10 out of the
equation anyway. But anyway, Karen
and I were both hopeless romantics. Champagne, candles, the whole
nine yards. Of course romance wins, but it is even more wonderful
when physical and emotional (romance) love comes together. Also
note, it could have been a 7 song per
side album denoted with +. Also, the song I
would have been working on (Dreams Come
True) probably would have been the number 11 song, but with the mess,
like Karen said, "Don't bother because if it was any good Phil would
just give it away to someone else".
And for my next trick, a double album romantic and physical
love
concept. This is only a concept but after what happened with
songs getting siphoned off and such, why not try something different
and see if it could have worked.
Disc One (Romantic)
Side One
1.
Make Believe It's Your First Time
2.
I Do It For Love
3. All Because Of You
4. Truly You
5. Last One Singing The Blues
Side Two
1. Jimmy Mack
2. Still In Love With You
3. If We Try
4. It's Really You
5. Something's Missing
Disc Two (Physical)
Side One
1. Lovelines
2. Love Making Love To You
3. Making Love In The Afternoon
4. If I Had You
5. Keep My Lovelight Burning
6. Guess I Just Lost My Head
Side Two
1. My Body Keeps Changing My Mind
2. Remember When Loving Took All Night
3. Don't Try To Win Me Back Again
4. Midnight
5. Still Crazy After All
These Years
I'm thinking it could have worked. It was interesting
that there
seemed to be about 10 songs each with a physical concept in the lyrics
and about 10 songs each with a romantic concept in the lyrics.
And that one square peg in a round hole, Still Crazy After All These
Years, at the end. Just a thought.
And if you're wondering, yes, Phil Ramone had Rod Temperton
sign a paper stating that Rod wasn't to talk about Karen's solo album
publicly without Phil's OK.
So when you look at Karen's release:
1. Lovelines
2. All Because of You
3. If I Had You
4. Making Love in the Afternoon
5. If We Try
6. Remember When Lovin' Took All Night
7. Still In Love with You
8. My Body Keeps Changing My Mind
9. Make Believe It's Your First Time
10. Guess I Just Lost My Head
11. Still Crazy After All These Years
Side 1 tracks 1 through 5 and side 2 tracks 6 through 11.
Note: #12 Last One Singin' the Blues was a bonus track. Look at
what is there as far as material. The selling point of this album
is the name, Karen Carpenter. The outtakes are outtakes including
Last One Singin' the Blues. There is nothing to stand out here
and say "This is Karen Carpenter and this is what I stand for".
The songs aren't really Karen here. Being a lustful sexpot just
isn't Karen. Being indecisive or 'mentally mixed up' just isn't
Karen either. Rock with You is a covert sexual innuendo.
Naughty but nice. Love and forever stuff. Remember When
Lovin' Took All Night and My Body Keeps Changin' My Mind are overt
sexual innuendoes. Just plain naughty. Bump and grind
stuff. Big difference there in material. This was an
attempt to try and change Karen's public image a little but it wasn't
Karen's real image. That is why it is lackluster. Rock with
You and Off the Wall were Karen. When I listen to Karen's actual
solo album I don't hear Karen's heart in there. It sounds just
like a collection of songs but nothing really meaningful or
heartfelt. This is probably the least Karen Carpenter of anything
Karen Carpenter did. And that was actually the idea behind this
and the big problem as to why this album was lackluster.
Something different that wasn't Karen Carpenter or The Carpenters and
it just falls flat because it isn't Karen. Like Rock with You and
Off the Wall and such, Karen was very thoughtful and playful and joyous
and such. There is no real thought, playfulness or joy in
Mudville here as the Mighty Phil Ramone just struck out.
Another problem, Phil Ramone never had any steady clients that he
produced. I have seen it said that some deemed Phil "the east
coast Quincy Jones" but Quincy usually kept his clients, Phil
didn't. With Phil Ramone, it always seemed to be a lot of
double talk and those that double talk (they say one thing and do
another or they say one thing and then it changes later on to them
saying they said something completely different) have things to
hide. Karen's solo album was just a big mess.
And as far as that mess... This was a publicity nightmare for
Karen. Karen felt a few of the songs to be sexually exploitative
of women. Karen felt that women should be loved and not 'sex
objects'. As Karen put it to me (on June 12, 1981), "Releasing
that album would have been the biggest
mistake of my career as my recording contract had that image clause in
it
if you remember and that album could have definitely jeopardized my
contract and my career with
A&M Records because of all that sexual content stuff Phil had
me
do. That album would have probably wrecked my image and my
career. I love being the girl next door. I'm a romantic at
heart as you know. I don't want to change that and I'm not
looking to be seen as another sleaze bucket. There's enough of
those out there as it is and I'm not looking to be just one more notch
in some slime ball's belt." Karen also added, "I still love that
album because it holds many memories for me of that time in my life and
besides a couple of those frogs I kept, it is about all I have left of
you and the times we had. There are also memories of working on
that album too and people and places and things like that, but that
album was just lackluster musically and was more Phil than me. I
was glad I did that album as it represents a period of time in my life,
but I was even more glad that it never got released as it just wasn't
me and I feel it would have set the woman's movement back a hundred
years. I still remember all the talks we had about that big can
of worms and although I have fond memories of it, I am glad that that
can of worms never got opened. That was such a mess."
XLVI. Phil and Itchie
and Itchie's dog visit the school
During
the first full week in June 1979 (after the Carpenter family get
together), Phil and Itchie sold their big screen TV to get gas money to
come out and see Karen in Corning. This became the 100K extra
meeting (400K plus 100K = half million). Rod Temperton drove
Phil's car from Connecticut to Corning and they had just enough money
for gas to get here after selling off their big screen TV (Phil's
accounts and such were still frozen as it takes a bit for a lawyer to
file papers to get the injunctions removed). There was Karen,
Phil Ramone, Itchie, Itchie's toy poodle, Rod Temperton and me.
Phil and Itchie were all big mouthed and f this and f that and just
b*tching up a storm about the injunction and being cocky and saying how
great they thought they were and all that. While we were sitting
there Phil was barking out orders and telling Rod, Karen and me, "I'm
the f**king boss around here. I'm the f**king head cheese.
You'll do what the f**k I tell you to f**king do when I tell you to
f**king do it." and Phil and Itchie were just plain obnoxious and I was
14 at the time and I didn't even work for Phil or Itchie (or Karen for
that matter, but shhh, Phil thought I was Karen's manager). And
Phil was telling me, "You take that f**king sh*t off me. I don't
know who the f**k you think you f**king are but I'm Phil Ramone.
Nobody does that to me." And I told Phil, "That was the
Archdeacon and I don't have anything to do with that. How did you
get off so lucky? When Sir Nicholas saw me they were going to
boil me in oil. He can have someone boiled in oil with just the
stroke of his pen. He's not someone to mess around with. He
must like you." And Phil and Itchie were both just b*tching up a
storm. And Rod knew I had put the guy across the hall (Max Baer
Jr - Jethro) into the wall before and Rod was doing his best to try and
keep from being possibly between Phil and me just in case. And
mind you, I am about 96 pounds and about 4'9" at this time and Max was
about 6'6" and over 300 pounds and Phil wasn't a lightweight either but
still, Rod was maybe about 130 pounds soaking wet. Karen and I
had talked before and I had said to Karen, "Why don't you just get rid
of Phil and all the bullsh*t and try someone else?" And Karen was
like, "I want to finish this. I have my reasons." And Karen
had told me earlier that before Phil had started off with like 300K or
such at the initial meeting and when they argued, Phil jumped up higher
and wouldn't come down. So that was where the original 400K came
from. Karen
also told me afterwards that yes, it really was worth it to her for her
to spend more time with me. Well, not just me, but the Carpenter
family having a get together in June as well as if Phil didn’t get a
check, Rod wouldn’t get a check and Itchie wouldn't get paid back
either. And,
yes, truthfully,
Karen
was not wishing to leave to be around Phil or
Itchie anyway after seeing the article that
Itchie
had
written, plus Phil needing money all the time. So
this time, yelling, cussing (not from Karen, Rod or me) and such and
then we get down to being ready to negotiate. Rod speaks out to
Phil, "Phil, these are nice people and how can you be like this?
I'm not going to sit around here and watch you strongarm them like you
did me." and then Rod left the room and went to the drinking
fountain and then the bathroom. I also
remember Phil and Itchie being very pushy and trying
to get Karen to move in with them. And I believe I kept telling
them
that Karen was needed at the school as there was a shortage of teachers
and no one to replace Karen if Karen left.
I stood my ground and Karen was NOT GOING TO LEAVE before June
22nd. Then I was like, "I really feel like
Karen would be better off elsewhere and I know there is extra cost here
and Karen wants you to finish this for her but I'd honestly rather just
cut you loose and go with someone else, so how much extra is this going
to cost for you to finish her solo album?" and then Phil is
mumbling to himself for a little bit and then he says, "a hundred
thousand." And then I just put my hands up and I smile and I look
at Karen and Karen says, "This will cover everything else?" And
Phil's mouth is just dropped to the ground as he was expecting to go
higher. And Phil had this droopy look on his face and said,
"Yes." And then Karen held her hand out for the handshake and
Karen said, "It's a deal, but no more and you have to promise me you'll
finish this." And Phil was like, "I promise. It's a deal."
and Karen and Phil shook hands. Then Phil and I shook hands and
for the next couple days I was wiping my hands trying to get all that
Jheri Curl off my hands. I hope it was Jheri Curl anyway, but
maybe sweat, who knows now. It was just plain slimy. Karen
stayed as a teacher until June 22nd. Then Phil, Itchie, Itchie's
poodle and Rod left and Karen wrote three or four small checks to Phil
so that Phil could cash the checks at gas stations along the way and
get back home as Phil's accounts were still froze. Rod also
forgot his baseball cap when he left (and I think Karen gave the hat
back to Rod later, but Karen thought that Rod's hat was stupid and
Karen wanted to just throw it in the trash).. So the 100K had to
cover from June 1979 until the production was stopped by Karen in May
1980. And at the beginning of this meeting
I remember this gruff
italian
brooklynish voice saying something like, "Would you please call off the
dogs on me?" in reference to me thinking that the Archdeacon of
Canterbury I believe put a very nasty 'injunction' against Phil.
I also have a feeling that Phil thought, "Who does this Sir Nicholas
guy think he is?" and I remember at the end of Karen and my
conversation with Sir Nicholas, Assistant to the Archdeacon of
Canterbury, about Phil Ramone that Sir Nicholas asked if we minded if
Sir Nicholas had a little 'fun' with Mr. Ramone. After Karen's
songs had been given away while Karen was being charged for production
costs as well as seeing the letter that Phil's girlfriend Karen
"Itchie"
Iuwhatever wrote about Karen that would have possibly destroyed Karen's
career
with A & M Records and would have definitely
destroyed her teaching job, a little 'payback'
would
be nice. I
can't remember what the term is but it is only available to a very few
individuals in the world, and the Archdeacon of Canterbury was one of
them. Sir Nicholas persuaded his boss, Bernard Pawley, Archdeacon
of Canterbury, to invoke the 'nasty injunction' against Phil
Ramone. I remember it was done in mid May and I remember Karen
talking to me
about it as she was still going to Phil's house for her solo album
stuff. Karen was telling me, "It is like a ghetto there.
Phil, Rod, and Itchie are eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by
candlelight off
paper plates and it is just too funny. Selling things off to try
and get gas money for the car. Borrowing jugs of water from the
neighbors because the water was shut off. Having to pour water in
the tank to flush the toilet. Piles of garbage alongside the curb
out in front of the house. I try to act like I am concerned
and such, but I feel vindicated in a way after what they tried to do to
me. It is really very hard for me not to laugh when I am
there. I am so enjoying this. I am
getting tired of them always asking for money though. They
haven't got a clue as to
what happened, just that all of their accounts and such are froze up
and no credit and such. I know this is supposedly only temporary,
but I actually hope it lasts longer than a month or year or
whatever. It is only temporary right?" And all I could say
was, "I don't know. I'm just glad you're feeling better
and smiling again. I still love seeing you smile again."
Richard Carpenter could not have done this type of
injunction, but Richard could have filed a separate injunction just
against the use of Karen's name or such to block the solo album release
as Karen's name belonged to the
Carpenters' group (which would have probably been a suggestion from
Alpert & Moss as Richard had a 'vested' interest with Karen while A
& M did not). The nasty 'injunction' or whatever it is
actually
called freezes all accounts plus any stock or bond trading as well as
destroying a person's credit so that they can not borrow or use a
credit card as well as real estate and almost anything else you can
name involving money and property. Richard
had Sir Nicholas's business card just in case as Sir Nicholas would
have gladly created more problems for Phil if asked nicely. Phil
needed the extra money to pay Rod and Itchie back the money that Phil
borrowed from them so that Phil could stay penniless and get a lawyer
while the injunction was in place. If I
remember also,
Mr. Heib stopped by and asked Karen
if Karen was alright and who Phil was and why Phil was so upset.
I think Karen said that Phil was working on her solo album and was
always cranky anyway, but Phil had some money problems and was extra
cranky. Trust me, I do
not hold sway
over either the Archdeacon of Canterbury or his assistant, Sir
Nicholas. Sir Nicholas was definitely
added to Karen and my friends list. I believe Phil and Itchie
were
added to the "do not allow into the school" list. So
in February 1983 Karen came up with an idea to say that she was flying
out to New York (Corning, not NYC) looking into a new manager instead
of trying to tell people she was planning on eloping after the mess
with Tom Burris before. And really, after the mess in 1979, Karen
wouldn't be wanting Phil Ramone as a manager let alone a producer
either. And besides a manager doesn't make anywhere near as much
money as a producer so why would Phil want more responsibility and
headaches for reduced pay? But the 100K story in 1979 was the
idea behind Karen making up her 'new manager' story in 1983.
XLVII. Sir Nicholas
Born and
hip waders
Sir
Nicholas had a chat with Karen and myself
while we were together at the school. Of course the stuff about
Phil Ramone. I believe Sir Nicholas also told Karen about
what Sir Nicholas knew about my secret and I believe Karen told Sir
Nicholas about her past regressive therapy too without me there.
But also, I believe Sir
Nicholas told us both "not to copulate" or reproduce or however he
phrased it. Sir Nicholas just said something like, "If you two
were to have a child, Methuselah may be born and then after that Lamech
and then Noah and a big flood all over again. It is very
imperative that you two do not take a chance of having children just to
be on the safe side." or something very similar in reference to Karen
having the regressive hypnotism with Edna aka Methuselah's mother and
of course my being the Keeper of the Book of Life aka Enoch aka
Methuselah's father as well. I also
remember Sir Nicholas joking and saying that he would be looking into a
pair of hip wader pants just in case. Karen and I also asked Sir
Nicholas if it would be possible to put an order of suppression on
Karen as Karen and I put it, "What if Karen was to blab to everyone
that Jesus wasn't a virgin?" Because of Karen being a celebrity,
Sir Nicholas couldn't put a suppression order on her without destroying
her singing career. Due to legal concerns, Sir Nicholas couldn't
directly hand over the rejected Itchie article or the suppression order
paperwork directly to Karen, however, Sir Nicholas did put them in the
garbage can and Karen and I grabbed them later. OK, OK, Karen
didn't want to be seen as a 'garbage picker' so I pulled the papers out
of the garbage can. Karen also gave Sir Nicholas a copy of her
'past lives' on a sheet of paper and Sir Nicholas did take that with
him. Karen also asked Sir
Nicholas about why the name Jesus with a J sound when his name is
Yeshua without a J sound? Sir Nicholas said that the Church can
not take an official position on this, however, just a thought here,
can it be considered blasphemy against an individual if you are not
actually using the individual's actual name? Gosh darn it.
Look at the time. It's getting late. And then Sir Nicholas
left.
XLVIII. Buddy Ebsen
visits
I am also pretty sure that
Buddy
Ebsen stopped by as well. I remember Karen
saying, "He [blank]ed me Buddy." And I
remember Buddy saying, "That's not a screw up;
that's a f***
up. Do you mind if I sit over here with
you two? Max can
be a real a**hole sometimes and I can't stand seeing a grown man
cry." And Karen was like, "Sure, we understand. Sorry you
got dragged into all of this. Would you like Ace to get you
something from the cafeteria?" And yes, during company visits in
the room, I always volunteered to be the gopher. You know, go for
this, go for that. I was a kid; I had more energy that I needed
to burn off. Plus, like I said to Buddy,
"This is the part that Karen and
I came up with where you get rid of the little kid because it can feel
awkward trying to have grown up talk with a little kid around. So
the
little kid disappears for a bit and then comes back later after goofing
off on the way to add a little extra time. You know how kids
are."
And Karen said, "He's not just a kid but he can be a real smart ass
too." And I said, "Like she said,
because if I said it, I would get my mouth washed out with soap for
it." And I am pretty sure Buddy said (with
a smile on his face), "He really is a smart ass ain't he?" And I
am pretty sure Karen said back (with a smile on her face), "That he is
and he needs to get his smart ass moving so we can talk." And
during Buddy's visit, Buddy was
chatting away
with Karen and I, and Buddy would wave over to Max across the hall
making
Max think that Buddy was 'patching things over' when we were mostly
talking about how Buddy was doing now and any special plans or hopes or
dreams and stuff like that. Buddy also called Karen, "Miss
Karen". Buddy actually was very polite and not one to cuss, but
after Buddy heard what happened, Buddy was a little upset for a short
while, maybe a minute or two, because Max hadn't told Buddy the rest of
the details. Buddy was like, "I'm sorry Miss Karen, I'm not one
to
usually cuss, but I feel like a darned fool coming over here like
this. Max just got my dander up." And Karen was like, "It's
not your fault that Max didn't
tell
you the rest. I'm glad you came over. Now you
know." Buddy was a
very down to earth person too. I
told Buddy, "You don't have to worry about Max coming over here.
Max is afraid of me after I slammed him up against the wall. I
may not look like much, but he found out." or something like that.
XLIX. Behind the
scenes. Family talk. Rumors
(Added April 11, 2020) A
little bit before Karen and I went 'ring shopping' Karen brought in a
box full of family photos. Karen started going through the photos
and telling me about her upcoming family get together. Karen had
many pictures and she would pull a picture out and say, "This is my
great aunt..." and talk a bit about each one. Reminiscing.
Then Karen brought up that she had seen her brother, Richard, seeming
to be more than friends with their first cousin, Mary Rudolph.
Karen referred to Richard and Mary as “lovebirds” too. Karen was
actually happy that Richard had appeared to have found someone that he
cared about and cared about him finally even if she was an adopted
first cousin. Karen then started laughing and said something
like, "It's funny
because here we are the squeaky clean kids next door and my brother is
romantically involved with our first cousin and here I am chasing after
jailbait. It's just too funny. There actually is real dirt
for a change, but the papers haven't figured it out yet so I think
Richard and me are fine. But if someone shows up and starts
asking weird questions, play dumb, OK?" And I was like, "No
prob. That is funny. Not us, but you know..." and then
Karen talks about family secrets and such. Karen talked about how
her one aunt, Guinevere, had just recently passed away in 1978.
Then Karen talked about Mary Rudolph and how when Karen was younger,
she noticed that all of a sudden there was talk of a car accident in
the family involving like 5th or 6th cousins and how, without someone
getting pregnant, cousin Mark had a baby sister just show up at a
family get together about (three to six?) months after the
accident. But that was her mom's side of the family, Tatums,
Rudolphs and such, and Karen was getting ready for a family get
together with her dad's side of the family, Carpenters, Lynns,
Bihuniaks, and such.
Also, Karen talked about rumors as far as
her and Richard and the Carpenters band. Karen was like, "If it
doesn't sound right, it isn't. There's no wild orgies or sex
parties or that kind of stuff. Most of the time on the road, we
just perform the show, go to a hotel room for a little bit, catch a bus
or a plane and then do the next show. It's definitely not a life
of glamour and all that. We don't really have enough time or make
enough money for that kind of stuff." And then Karen was like,
"As far as me and my brother having sex. Richard and I are
brother and sister and we have been through a lot together and we are
very close to one another and we love each other very much and very
dearly. We are brother and sister and the thought of possibly
bringing in a bunch of inbreds with hillbilly teeth into the world is
just not my idea of having a good time..." "...And yes, I have had a
lot of boyfriends over the years, but being on the road doesn't allow
much time to have a lasting relationship. Love 'em and leave 'em
is as good as it gets. I've been lucky so far, but foam and
rubbers when needed and hope nothing goes wrong."
We then talked
about her grandfather George getting remarried and how Wendy and Peter
were step cousins and the family joke about the 'wicked' step mother as
the Bihuniaks were usually very nice and calm people and didn't usually
get upset whereas the Carpenters were very down to earth people and
could be mean when they felt they needed to be. Karen also
mentioned that she didn't like using the word "step" as Karen
considered family as being family whether by marriage or by blood so to
speak. There was also a story that Karen learned about her
grandfather, George, and how Thomas Carpenter and Elizabeth Ann
(Sherlock) Carpenter were George's parents and how Thomas and Susan
were married at the same time as Thomas and Elizabeth so the marriage
to Elizabeth was annulled and Susan was actually a step mom for Karen's
grandfather George. Karen's great
grandmother, Susan (Seal) Carpenter, was blind and Karen asked me if I
would go with her to the family get together and help her with her
great grandmother if needed. Karen also said that her great
grandmother was I believe the third oldest person living in the UK at
the time and was over a hundred years old and kind of a celebrity
herself being the third oldest person in the UK. Karen also said
that it was her great grandmother's wish that Karen would find a
husband and get married and settle down before Susan passed away.
So in addition to possible extra help, a plan of Karen's where Karen
and I would show up and tell everyone that we had snuck off and eloped
because of my age and the publicity and such. And so...
L. The rings
Also, near the end of the
school year, Karen and I walked down Market Street in Corning and we
looked in jewelry stores at wedding and engagement rings. It was
kind of uneventful as nothing really stood out too much.
Diamonds, gold, boring for a guy. I could also see Karen looking
very disappointed that nothing seemed to stand out to her either.
But then at the fourth place we went to there was a wedding set that
had a set of wedding bands that were white gold in the middle and
yellow gold on the outside (thinking back, the wedding bands may have
been just white gold, platinum, not sure now), but the diamond
engagement ring that was with them just seemed to sparkle like Karen's
eyes when we looked at each other. It was just amazing. I
just started saying, "Sparkles, sparkles, sparkles" and I had a kind of
gurgly growl to my voice when I said it. Karen asked the jeweler
about the ring and the jeweler said that I had a sharp eye and that the
ring actually had a history to it. The ring had a certificate of
authenticity with it, and this was the original diamond that made a
certain gem cutter (I believe his name was Bartholdi but not sure)
famous. The gem cutter asked the people with the raw diamond to
set that particular piece aside for him as he had an idea. The
idea was that every diamond above a certain size (karat) has a
flaw. The gem cutter thought of a way to make that 'flaw' into an
enhancement. The cutter cut the diamond so that the 'flaw' was at
a certain spot and then designed a special setting to help enhance the
light shining through the diamond to make the light appear
brighter. As you can see, that idea worked and it was the first
time that a gem cutter had cut a diamond using a flaw as a way to
magnify the light as it passed through the diamond. It has been
done many times since then and the gem cutter personally listed this as
his 9th most favorite piece he had ever worked on out of thousands of
pieces. This was the piece that made him famous, but afterwards
he had been able to work on some others that he felt were a bit more
challenging. But history or not, this was the only diamond I had
seen that sparkled like Karen's eyes and I was just mesmerized by
it. I would see the ring again in 1981. Karen just whipped
out her Visa card and said, "It's unlimited, so it should have enough
on it and I'll just pay it off when I get home. I rarely use it,
so if there's a problem, I have other cards if you need." The
jeweler took the card and looked at it. And then Karen said, "I
forgot, do you want to see some ID with that?" And the Jeweler
said, "No need. I definitely know it is you as I have a few of
your albums at home. I also saw the card number and I knew it was
an unlimited card. What brings you around here if you don't mind
me asking?" And Karen said something like, "I have some cousins
in the area and I was just visiting them and something told me that I
was going to find something amazing today and I did. Well, he did
anyway." Anyway, yes, the Visa card had the numbers 1234567890 on
it and the embossed name of Karen A Carpenter. Karen and I walked
out with a bag with the rings inside and then we walked across the
street and Karen got a hot dog with meat sauce and I got a hot dog with
ketchup at the hot dog stand across the street (Jim's Texas
Hots). Actually, if I remember right, We ended up getting two hot
dogs with meat sauce. I went to pick up the first one with meat
sauce for Karen since Karen had her arms full and Karen and I bumped
each other and the hot dog with meat sauce fell to the ground.
Karen got another one. And Karen was like, "You should try it
with the meat sauce, it's good. I'll let you have a bite of
mine." And I was like, "We can't kiss, but I guess if we took a
bite out of each other's hot dogs, it might be close to a kiss."
So we each took a bite of each other's hot dogs on the bitten
end. Karen held hers and I bit it, and I held mine and Karen bit
it. And Karen was like, "See they're good, do you want to try
another bite." And I was like, "It's alright, but I still prefer
the ketchup. I like eating after you though. I can almost
taste your lips." So we walked together up the hill and every
other bite, we switched hot dogs. It ended up with us each having
the last bite of our own hot dogs, so it worked out well. It was
fun.
LI. Wedding Bells?
Anniversary get together? Family business
(Note, I am adding this on
February 26, 2020 after another one of those
memory recall things happened again) I believe it was either late May
or early June 1979, because Karen and I were not wearing coats that I
can remember, but I remember Karen and I attending a family event
together that I believe was an anniversary. I met some of Karen's
older relatives on her dad's side. I can't remember names for
sure
now, but I keep remembering the name Gladys for some reason
even though there isn't a Gladys that I know of,
but I also
know that I met Matilda Lynn, Karen's great aunt.
I remember Matilda kept asking me to do the slow dances
with her (Waltzing Matilda so to speak). Most of the fast dances
I did
with Karen if I remember right. I also think it was a DJ but not
positive yet on that. I also believe
I met Great Aunt Gertrude Lynn as well who lived in Wellsville New York
which is about an hour away from Corning New York. The names Joe,
Jack, Charlie, and George got bounced around a lot during conversations
as well as those were the sons of Susan and Thomas Carpenter, Karen's
great grandparents. Thomas' mother's name I believe was Sarah
Anne (Nash) Carpenter which is where I believe Karen's middle name,
Anne, came from. I think it had something to do with Harold and
Agnes had a Nash Rambler, so they used Sarah’s middle name as Karen’s
middle name. Also lots of talk of Dmytro and Wefta
Bihuniak. Karen
was asked
to
bring her great grandmother, Susan (Seal) Carpenter, to the party and
Karen asked me
to come along in case she needed extra help with her. Karen
then also had me wear the wedding ring
and told me
about her plan and why. Karen and I picked up Susan (not Sue or
Suzie or Suzanne, but Susan) at
the apartment complex and we walked about two blocks to the union hall
where the party was being held. When we picked her up, we had the
rings on. Susan noticed the rings and Karen
and I
both said, "We eloped this afternoon." Susan
was
blind and she was feeling our faces and feeling how happy we
were. Susan started smiling too. We helped Susan up and
we walked her to the party. On the way, Susan asked us to
describe everything to her, so
Karen and
I started talking about the lush gardens and fountains and wonderful
trees and such. And you have to love old people as Susan said
to us after we got close to arriving, "You're both
full of sh*t; this place is a dump; but I appreciate you two trying to
make me feel better." And I said, "OK, you caught us, but at
least we
tried." And we all laughed together as I opened the door to the
union
hall and we went inside. And oh boy, did Karen and I get an
earful at
the
party when we got there in a good way.
As one said, "We've been happily married fifty years and you two make a
great couple if you don't mind me saying so. In all my years I
have never seen a more happier couple than you two." And another,
"Marry them when they're younger so you can get some good use out of
them before it's too late." And more, "We've been married fifty
years
and don't let our talking fool you and scare you off of being
married. It was the best thing we've ever done." And even
more, "I've
never seen a more happier couple than you two. And don't let
others
fool you, it still gets better with age." And even more than
more,
"Don't let age get in your way of having a good time. You'll have
good
memories of these wonderful times when you get older." And some
more,
"We're glad you didn't wait
until you get older. It's too late then and you can't
enjoy it as much." And, "Don't pay no nevermind to him, he's an
old
fuddy duddy and he doesn't like anything. Marry for love.
Don't ever
marry for money. There's your proof on a silver platter."
And, "We're glad you brought him with
you. New
blood. It kind of livened things up a bit around here. Not
because of
your ages, but because you both are so happy together. Everyone
seems
a bit happier than normal." And, "We ain't no spring chickens,
but
just because there is snow on the roof doesn't mean there ain't fire in
the furnace." And then, "Life's too short to worry about what
others
think. So long as you two are happy, who cares?" And then
more,
"I'm glad you married him. Don't let the folks tell you any
different.
If they do,
send them to us and we'll straighten them right out for you." And
more
then, "We were the young couple here at thirty years until you showed
up." And of course to Karen, "How's your mom doing? She's
one of us. We're really glad your dad met your mom. Your
dad was like a bump on a log and would probably still be just sitting
on the couch if it hadn't been for your mom putting a fire under his
keister."
Actually, Harold wasn't lazy, but until Agnes, Harold hadn't really
been interested in women. With the Carpenters being family
oriented,
they were thrilled with Harold finally wanting someone to start a
family with or is that a famdamily? Yes, being a part of a family
was
the opposite of being cursed, so a famdamily not the other way
around.
If you
couldn't
tell, Karen and I tried to visit with everyone. Karen and I also
were
seated at the main table with Susan. There
were quite a few people there and
most
were over 50. And just a couple of us 'spring chickens'.
The family
was also so happy to see Karen visit as the folks (mom and dad), Karen,
and Richard lived out in California now and Karen and Richard were out
on the road and toured a lot. The family definitely let their
hair
down. Karen let her hair down too. Swapping family stories
together.
The good stuff. And of course Karen and I liked to clown around
with
each other and make jokes. Susan sat between
Karen and me and joined in on the fun as well. Karen also fixed
Susan a plate to eat and told her stuff like, "meat at 9 o'clock,
dessert at 6 o'clock..." Like
Karen, Susan was still very independent. And
even more of course, family
business
remains family business and gets censored to keep it in the family
where it belongs. I am 100% positive
that Karen introduced me to the family as her husband and told everyone
that we had just eloped because we didn't want all the media publicity
and such with me being younger. I
met Karen's Uncle Jack as well as there was a possible problem but
Karen's Uncle Jack took care of it before it may have became a big
problem. I
had always known the Carpenters to be ones to look out for one another
and I got to see and hear about it first hand after I heard about what
Karen's Uncle Jack did for Karen. Wonderful people.
Wonderful
family. And Karen's Uncle Jack pulled me aside as well as
Karen. Karen's Uncle Jack had a little talk with Karen first
and
then Karen's Uncle Jack said something like, "That was the nicest
present I got in a long time. My mother has been blind for a
while now and she hasn't smiled since she went blind. She was
laughing and smiling and having a great time. Everyone was
laughing and smiling and having a great time and no amount of money can
ever buy that." Karen's Uncle Jack realized that I was too
young
to actually marry Karen but he still gave me the 'boyfriend' lecture
that Karen had kind of warned me about beforehand. But anyway, I
can't remember exactly but Karen's Uncle Jack said something like,
"She's my niece and if I ever catch you (can't remember now)
with her I am going to cut your balls (nuts?) off with a knife." or
something
like that. And then I surprised her Uncle Jack as I said back
something like, "If I ever do something like that to her I hope you use
a dull rusty butter knife and make it as painful as possible. I
actually wasn't acting or anything. I really do love her but
unfortunately as you've probably noticed I'm still too young."
And then I believe her Uncle Jack said something like, "I'm going to
hold you to that and when you get old enough if you still wish to marry
my niece and she still wishes to marry you, I give you both my
blessings." And I believe (but not positive) this party was the
reason why
Karen and I went shopping for an engagement ring probably a few days
before this party (but maybe not). I am not sure if this was a
birthday party for Susan or her Uncle Jack's and
Aunt ?'s 70th anniversary party but I am positive it was one or the
other or possibly a combination of both or maybe even something
else.
I also know that Karen's Uncle Richard and Aunt Mary were there as
well. And
another note, this may
have
possibly been what set up Tom Burris a little over a year later.
I believe that Susan was blind and was hoping that
Karen would get married before she passed
away. This I believe was why Karen introduced me as her husband
at the party. I had also told Karen as
this was outside school and a family function and such, anything goes
as far as physical contact and such as that would be needed for the
eloping story for Susan. But outside the event or
her family, we couldn't touch again until I got older. Really,
Karen and I did do a bunch of 'you don't know Jack' jokes after
this. I believe Jack was cousin Patti's great grandfather.
Also, Karen had her step cousin Wendy taking pictures during
this. Nice pictures of the lens cap, the floor, the ceiling,
feet, backs of heads, her thumb. Karen kind of commented to me
off to the side, “I wish I had thought of my friend Carolyn to take
pictures. She’s probably working though anyway. She’s
pretty good with action shots and such. Usually I just toss her
my camera and somehow she gets a great shot. I like her pictures
because they usually seem so natural. Wendy on the other hand,
sometimes you just got to laugh I guess. She tries hard.”
Yes,
the plot thickens I believe...
(And on May 21, 2020) And some more stuff as far
as the 1979 family get together
(Susan birthday and Jack anniversary). Karen's uncle Richard
Carpenter
and his wife aunt Mary showed up late and uncle Richard was wearing a
twill (UK) / tweed (US) suit with patches on it - a style at the
time.
Great uncle Jack Carpenter spoke up and said something like, "Nephew, I
have a whole closet full of suits that you could have borrowed instead
of taking one off of some hobo. You should have left it on the
hobo in
the gutter where it belongs." something like that. Also, during
the
party, Karen kept sending me out to dance with her great aunt Matilda
Lynn because Karen wanted some privacy while Karen and her great
grandmother, Susan (Seal) Carpenter talked about Karen's grandparents
(George Carpenter and Nellie [Lynn] Carpenter) as well as dad, Harold,
growing up and those kinds of stories. Family stuff. Karen
and I
would kind of dance some of the fast dances together but it was
important that Karen got a chance to chat with her great
grandmother.
Later, Karen, me and great grandmother Susan all got up and danced
together to a fast song. Then a little later Karen and I were
fast
dancing and doing a 'butt bump' together and we kind of bumped a little
hard and the family could see Karen get upset and Karen started to
'give it back to me'. Then I said something like, "Oops, Honey,
I'm
sorry about that. I'll kiss it and make it better" and then I
believe
I leaned over and kissed Karen's butt in front of everyone and of
course we all started busting out laughing, Karen and me
included.
Then a little later to a slower dance, Karen and I were kind of doing a
tango type dance and we noticed there was a kind of broom closet with
louvered doors on it. So I started dancing Karen over towards the
louvered doors and Karen would start dancing me away from the doors,
then I would dance her towards the doors, back and forth until we
finally got to the door and I opened it and Karen and I snuck inside
for a little bit with the louvered door closed while the others were
outside laughing about Karen and I sneaking off to the broom closet (we
had told everyone we eloped, so you would think we would want to sneak
off for a little privacy). I am not totally sure now on parts of
this,
but pretty sure that Karen and I had our first kiss this time and I
believe Karen pushed the door open while we were kissing and people in
the room were going "aw (and a couple people saying "that's so sweet"
too maybe?)". Like usual when we were around others, Karen and I
put
on a good show that was memorable. A great time. Afterwards
when we
dropped off great grandmother Susan to the apartment she was staying at
(in Daysprings on the corner of Columbia and route 17 [Dennison Parkway
East] at the time) and that was when great uncle Jack asked to see the
marriage papers from us eloping, which of course, we hadn't actually
eloped. Cat out of the bag and during this was when great
grandmother
Susan said to great uncle Jack, "I may be blind, but I can still find
your bottom Jack" and also great uncle Jack realizing that I was only
14 (too young) gave Karen and me his blessings if we decided to get
married later and all that other stuff talked about between us.
LII. Shrinks part 1
As far as how things went
with the psychiatrists,
psychologists and therapists... Very, very poorly.
Honestly, Karen
walked out several times because she got tired of them trying to put
words in Karen's and her family's mouths. It was bad and you can
see
it all over the place still. Karen would say that her and Richard
were
never comeptitive and the shrinks would tell her that she was in denial
about it. Honest, brothers and sisters are usually complimentary,
not
competitive. What, was Richard going to try and clean the house
faster
than Karen? Was Karen going to try and outdo Richard playing the
piano? Brothers are usually competitive with other brothers and
sisters competitive with other sisters. It was REALLY, REALLY
that bad
and then some. Karen said to me, "It seemed like every time
something
came out of my or my family's mouths, the psychiatrists, psychologists,
and therapists would automatically try and turn it around to make it
sound like we were saying the complete opposite of what we actually
said. It was that bad and we all walked out." As far as
Richard being
the 'favorite' and Karen being the 'black sheep'. True. And
in all
honesty, many times since they believed Richard, Richard would honestly
lie to keep Karen out of trouble if possible. Karen would do the
same
for Richard too. Brothers and sisters do that for one another and
Karen and Richard were no exceptions. Karen and Richard didn't
really
have goals or such, but they loved making music together. Karen
and
Richard were seen as over achievers even though they didn't have goals
that they were trying to achieve. Yes, the shrinks dealing with
the
Carpenters were honestly that 'nuts / crazy'. Like Karen and I
agreed
on, "Favorites put the round pegs in the round holes and the square
pegs in the square holes. Black sheep put the round pegs in the
square
holes and the square pegs in the round holes and if they don't fit
right, you just need to use a bigger mallet. Favorites are
favored
because they do what everyone else does. Black sheep have more
fun but
tend to get in more trouble because they don't always do what everyone
else does. I like being a black sheep, is there something wrong
with
being honest?" Also, Karen had the game Perfection in her desk
drawer. In all honesty, neither Karen nor myself could actually
get all the pieces into the slots before it popped. We came
within two or three pieces a couple times, but that was about as close
as we got. As far as the Carpenters being
'dysfunctional'... N-O,
NO. Honestly, the shrinks were dysfunctional. Y-E-S,
YES. How can
you deal with those that keep trying to turn everything you say or do
around to fit THEIR mold of what they feel is going on instead of
accepting the truth? What can you do or say when you are told
everything you do or say is wrong or a lie? Nothing. And
that has
been a BIG problem with psychiatry, psychology, and therapy.
'Hidden
meanings' where shrinks try to say that things exist when in reality,
they do not. Playing 'tricks' on people is dishonest. How
can you
'trick' someone into being honest when you are not being honest
yourself? Exactly. PSYCHOBABBLE!!!
(twisting things
around so bad that no matter what anyone says or does is seen as being
wrong). How can someone that is not being honest honestly help
someone
else? They honestly can't. And when you have a guilty
conscience why
not lie some more and try and blame others instead of taking blame
yourself and learning from your own mistakes? So anyway, shrinks,
answer this - "How can someone become honest when all that a shrink
does is call them a liar no matter what the other person says or
does?" YES, that is a BIG problem. And in the end, Karen
weighed 108
pounds in all honesty. Others tried to lie and say Karen weighed
80 or
84 pounds when she died. Honestly. That is why anything by
Tom
Burris, Phil Ramone, Itchie Ramone, any of the shrinks and most authors
that use these sources I discount as
being untrue about Karen Carpenter. I believe Richard Carpenter,
Paul
Williams, Carl "Cubby" O'Brien, and Patti Carpenter (I believe Hirtl is
her married name, but
not sure). Rod Temperton was caught in the middle at times, so it
was
kind of hit and miss with him depending on what was asked about.
Most of all, I always believed Karen
Carpenter and Karen Carpenter's diary because for some strange reason,
Karen always seemed to know the most about herself despite the experts'
opinions. And as we know, "Experts never make mistakes. All
people
make mistakes; myself included. Therefore experts are just
figments of
their own imaginations." And honestly, Karen could not take
ipecac
syrup
or such on the day of or the day before she died. Midol pills or
such possibly (but not
definitely) because she was expecting her 'visitor'
(menstruation).
Possibly a box of chocolates maybe. Not ipecac syrup. And
honestly, Karen called me
the day before she died so I know she was
expecting her 'visitor' (menstrual cycle). I also know for sure
that
Karen was feeling fine on the day before she died. Karen was very
happy and not depressed or such nor feeling anything unusual physically
or mentally besides her visitor (which always
made her feel tired). It was
unexpected. Karen's heart
stopped. Cardiac
arrest. It happens. It may sound strange, but every time a
person's
heart stops beating for over 5 minutes, they died. True
story. Karen's aura left her body and Karen's body died after her
heart stopped beating.
As far as Karen and control issues... There are many examples of
that that I had experienced first hand being around Karen. So
when I say that control had nothing to do with Karen's anorexia, I am
very sure of that. Max was trying to control Karen, Karen had me
stay with her during lunch. Karen didn't have anorexia because of
that. Karen's couple times of starting to have anorexia came
after a couple times in 1978 and early 1979 when Karen
started thinking that I wasn't attracted to her because
of her weight but I reminded her of my age (one time mentioned in the
Sexual Innuendos and Bible Verses section, and the 'fertilizer' talk
where I said she was beautiful). Another
time was before the school pictures (mentioned above) and another time
after Karen went to do the Bruce Forsyth Show. A couple other
times happened but Karen had started realizing that her 'eating
problem' or anorexia was from either sleeping or performing issues or
sometimes feeling she wasn't attractive to others. As far as
control issues, Karen was a fighter and would fight back when
needed. As far as trying to control Karen, from someone that knew
Karen well, that would be just as crazy as trying to control Karen's
mom, Agnes. Just not happening.
LIII. Shrinks Part 2
So why didn't Karen talk
more about her problems publicly? There
are doctor and patient confidentiality rules is one part. Neither
the doctor nor the patient are supposed to discuss things
publicly. This is the prime reason. The secondary and
probably more compelling reason was that Karen was not one to say bad
things about people if she could help it in private and Karen
definitely did not want to say bad things about people publicly at
all. Karen was raised with, "If you don't have something nice to
say then it is better to say nothing at all. What you do in your
own home is your business." And yes, Richard
and Karen were brother and sister.
And speaking of dysfunctional shrinks... Karen
spoke with
numerous psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists with usually
VERY, VERY... BAD RESULTS.
Yes, Karen did have a sense of humor, but this stuff is a bit
ridiculous honestly. As Karen
referred to it, "the looney bin". Truly.
About Karen's mom, if you notice what others do out there you will
notice something odd when you think about it. Karen's mom was
raised with the word "love" meaning that you were having sex with
someone. Had anyone ever asked Karen's mom, Agnes, if she loved
her husband Harold she would have easily said "Yes" and most likely
"with all my heart". Not one shrink ever asked this if you
notice. What they did ask, however, was for mom to say she loved
Karen. Do you understand now why Agnes couldn't say that.
She also couldn't say that she loved her son Richard either but that
never gets mentioned by the shrinks. This also doesn't get
mentioned either which is why I am mentioning it now. The
therapists and psychologists and psychiatrists never asked Karen's mom
if she cared about her daughter only if she 'loved' her daughter which
Karen and Richard both knew that their mom couldn't say she loved her
daughter or her son (and notice too, the son part never gets mentioned
either as they never asked mom if she loved Richard which mom couldn't
say she loved Richard either). Do you see what is going on
here? It is known as badgering and putting words in people's
mouths and ideas that the people themselves do not actually have.
This stuff is just horrible. To mom (Agnes) loving someone was
about having sex with that someone. You will not find anywhere
where these shrinks ever asked mom if she cared about Karen. It
is a set up by a bunch of quacks is what all this nonsense is.
These quacks are trying to prove a nonsense anorexic profile theory
based on Cherry (Boone) O'Neill that does not match Karen Carpenter or
many others that have had, have, might or will have anorexia. Mom
never wished to have sex with her kids so why would she say she "loves"
them? Mom never got asked if she cared about her kids which would
have had mom talking for hours about how wonderful her son and her
daughter were. How Richard was great on the piano and how Karen
was a good singer but Karen would rather be out getting dirty playing
baseball because she was a tomboy. Mom and Karen cared very
deeply about each other but they weren't wishing to love or have sex
with one another so a bad choice of words on the shrinks's parts.
Very bad choice of words. That is the real problem with all that
nonsense. As far as 'touchy feely' type stuff, what is wrong with
keeping that stuff in the bedroom where it belongs? Why would
someone want to grope their kids? It was just plain awkward and
rather than blame themselves why not put the blame on the mother and
the father and the brother? It is a narcissistic trait known as
'scapegoating' and also 'gaslighting'. Rather than be honest
about the situation, make up stories, tell half truths, tell outright
lies even and blame others rather than accept responsibility as all
people, shrinks included, can make mistakes except narcissists of
course. Narcissistic shrinks? Narcissistic college
graduates? Narcissistic story writers and authors? You got
it. Karen Carpenter was a talented singer whereas Cherry never
was a talented singer. Karen and
her brother always worked together with each other. Cherry and
Debby Boone always competed against each other. Karen and mom
felt bad that Richard put in most of the work and got little credit for
it. Cherry Boone thought the world should revolve around her and
that it was all her mom and Debby's faults that Cherry was second best
to Debby and not that Cherry's attitude was horrible or that Cherry
just didn't have that gift for singing like her sister Debby had.
Karen was a
well-mannered person and thoughtful of others. Cherry was kind of
a spoiled brat and fairly egotistical and self-centered according to
her book "Starving for Attention". Karen was very proud of all
the things that her and her brother had accomplished together.
Has Cherry ever been appreciative of her sister scoring a hit with "You
Light Up My Life"? Keep it going if you like, but no, Karen was
nothing like Cherry (Boone) O'Neill or that spoiled brat profile for an
anorexic. Rob Hoerburger's "If anorexia has classically been
defined as a young woman's struggle for control, then Karen was a prime
candidate, for the two things she valued most in the world - her voice
and her mother's love - were exclusively the property of Richard." is a
huge pile of psychobabble that got printed in the New York Times
Magazine - October 6, 1996 "Karen Carpenter's Second Life"
article. Karen wasn't looking to have sex with her mom and you
would think that a mother that had spent 14 to 16 hours a day at her
daughter's bedside in September 1975 would be known for caring about
her daughter but apparently not. What does Richard and her mom
know that some guy that didn't even meet Karen knows? Yes,
narcissists always stick up for each other and try and belittle
everyone else to sound like them despite the obvious! Profiling
is 100% bullying someone and is not an honest practice. Bullies
are never honest when confronted just like narcissists are never honest
when confronted. Yes, a very disturbing pattern here. And
yes, Richard did say he loved his sister in front of the shrinks.
And yes, mom did look at Karen and Richard very strangely
afterwards. But kids are kids, and no, Karen and Richard didn't
have sex together but if the younger generation confused the word
caring with the word love, that was the younger generation's problem
not mom's problem. Maybe that was why Karen (anorexia) and
Richard (quaaludes) were having their problems? All that
confusion and not knowing the difference between making love and caring
about someone. Maybe it was that fame stuff too. Mom wasn't
famous, but she did know the difference between making love and caring
and mom did take quaaludes for a bit but didn't get addicted and also
mom never had anorexia. Imagine having to have a sex talk with
your mom because of some stuff that therapists had done wrong.
You are trying to get better and the ones saying they are trying to
help you get better make a mess that you have to clean up after because
the ones claiming to be helping you don't feel like they did anything
wrong. Karen told me that it was a difficult
talk with her mom about all that love / caring stuff with the
therapists and I know Richard was the favorite, so to speak, but even
as the favorite mom would not have tolerated her son and daughter
making love to each other and luckily mom understood well enough after
Karen tried explaining it that mom didn't have to adopt a son to
replace the one she would have had to have buried in the back yard
somewhere in an unmarked grave (men lie about
that kind of stuff so it had to be Karen to talk with mom about this).
As far as being the favorite, Karen told me that started because Karen
would get dirty while playing baseball and Karen would drag mud through
the house. Richard didn't drag mud through the house.
Karen's mom hated dirt but Karen's mom didn't hate Karen. Karen
and mom still talked. Mom and dirt never talked and dirt better
stay out of mom's way if dirt knows what's good for it. Richard
was mom's favorite. No big deal. Karen didn't want to be
the favorite. But none of the therapists ever asked Karen about
that either. Not everyone wants to be the favorite and teacher's
pet and toeing the line and all that kind of stuff. Richard also
didn't jump up out of nowhere and say "I wanna be favorite; pick me;
pick me!" It just happened. Some people enjoy challenges
and being different and breaking the rules here and there to be a
little different from others. Some feel they need to get their
ducks in a row instead of just letting their ducks wander like
others. But what does mom or Karen know compared to a
bunch of self-absorbed, narcissistic know-it-all therapists?
After all, they wouldn't be self-absorbed, narcissistic know-it-alls if
they didn't know it all, would they?
One therapist that Karen
visited accused Karen of being an over achiever. Like Karen said
to me,
"How can I be an over achiever when I really don't have any goals or
objectives? Figure that one out."
Like Karen said, "It
seemed like every time I said something to one of them, I got told that
I was wrong and that I was lying. A prime example is that me and
my
brother Richard have never competed against each other. I told
them
that Richard and I are brother and sister so we compliment and not
compete with one another. What were Richard and I going to
compete
over? Who could iron shirts the fastest? For some reason
they couldn't
answer me on that one."
And Karen said, "I
remember the one session where me and my family were there and they
kept accusing us of being liars and that we were just trying to cover
up for each other and hide from the truth, so I asked them what the
truth was and we all just sat there
silent for a little while and then we all just walked out on
them.
That's the truth."
And Karen said, "It
seemed like a game with them that every time I said something they
would try to tell me that I said the exact opposite of what I
said. I
would try to correct them and they would say that I wasn't
listening.
So then I said, Earth to therapist, if I wasn't listening then how did
I know that what you said wasn't what I said?"
Another time Karen said
to me, "They seem to just keep trying to dig up dirt on me for the
tabloids. I don't have any dirt. I have nothing to
hide. So they keep
making stuff up."
And another time Karen
said, "Most of the time I have no idea who they are talking
about.
About all I hear is the word Karen and then a bunch of stuff comes out
of their mouths that doesn't make any sense or sound like me at
all."
And yet another time,
"Past regressive therapy is very expensive but it works.
Afterwards we
found out that there was nothing in my past lives to cause an eating
disorder."
And all of this talk of ipecac syrup in mass
quantities. Karen
hid it
so well that even she
couldn't find it apparently. I did see Karen take laxatives a few
times
and she said, "I feel constipated. I haven't gone in a
while." And I
was like, "Your eyes are brown. You're probably full of it and a
laxative might help. My eyes are blue so I'm a quart low. I
probably
ought to start eating corks to help hold it in more." And we both
laughed. I honestly don't remember Karen ever trying to hide
taking a
laxative when I was around her from September 1978 to June 1979 to be
honest. But then the point of hiding is so
that others don't see so I
don't truly know for sure on that. One
time Karen got sick after taking a laxative and after that she realized
that she needed to take it easy a bit more and not worry about losing
weight so much. Karen and I could read each
others' thoughts and we both
knew that Karen was taking the laxative for weight and not for
constipation which was why my "Your eyes are brown; you are full of it"
comment to Karen before. Karen asked me about it and I told her
truthfully that "Yes, I had a double meaning on the full of it
comment. Pun intended." And Karen and I realized, "XLAX
looks the
same going in as it does coming out." As
far as being "fat"? Karen and her step cousin Wendy could only
get as
far as "pleasingly plump" anymore and that was that. I do know
that Karen did at
least
once put her finger down her throat to make herself puke and she
admitted it to me. So that is why that ipecac syrup story doesn't sound
right to me. Ipecac syrup has calories and such. A finger doesn't have
calories and is a lot cheaper and you don't have to worry about getting
rid of the container afterwards either. I guess the 'ipecac syrup
stuff' was relating to Karen and Cherry Boone O'Neill around
1982. I have serious doubts about ipecac syrup being a 'cause of
death' for Karen honestly. In more honesty,
Karen would have had to have died from choking on her own vomit if that
were the case and that does not appear to be the case that I am aware
of. Also, I do not remember seeing anything listed of an abnormal
heart or aorta for Karen. That would leave the fact that Karen's
body stopped getting the message for Karen's heart to beat. A
sudden stroke at the brain stem possibly? Aneurysm?
Seizure?
And speaking of
September 1978 to June 1979, Karen was a school teacher and staying
with her step cousin Wendy who taught Karen how to knit and crochet
while
they watched video taped soap operas on a beta max. Many times
Karen
told me that her and Wendy would just fall asleep in their recliners
with their knitting needles still in their hands. Karen also came
into school one day and just said, “My cousin Wendy is a little
stinker, but I fixed her. She’s been moving the scales so that
they weigh ten pounds less. I set the scales so they weigh ten
pounds more now. Let’s see how she likes that, that little
stinker.” And I was like, “It looks like the shoe’s on the other
foot now. Speaking of which, yup, left left, right right.
Nobody reached under her desk and
tied my shoe laces together again. I’m
good.” Karen didn't
have
anyone hanging over her shoulder while she was a teacher including her
parents or Richard. Karen started doing her solo album with Phil
Ramone
and Karen was constantly being watched over and not allowed to leave
Phil, Rod Temperton, or Snitchy's sight while doing her solo
album. Rod
and Karen used to joke together and call Phil's house 'the compound'
and Phil and Snitchy were the 'gestapo' and the big joke was "Let's
make a break for it" between Karen and Rod. Honest, Karen told me
that
at Phil's house, Karen had constant supervision and couldn't leave the
house without someone going with her. So when Itchie and Phil
talk
about
how controlling the Carpenters were and such, I don't believe it.
I
know better. I heard the exact opposite out of Karen's mouth
herself.
I actually saw first hand how controlling Phil and Itchie were.
And I was around Karen when she was teaching and I can definitely say
that Karen's family was not controlling Karen. And as Rod warned
Karen, "Anything you tell Snitchy, Phil knows." so honestly, I know
Karen used to lie and hide information from Snitchy as Karen couldn't
trust her. And hearing some of the stuff that Snitchy has said, I
can understand why Karen lied and withheld information too. When
you lie to someone or don’t tell the rest of the information and they
repeat that lie or half truth, you know who said it because no one else
knows that lie or half truth but the one you tell that lie or half
truth to. (And yes, I am just going to leave my participles and
prepositions dangling in public on this one despite being taught better
by my 8th grade english teacher). Karen Carpenter never trusted
Karen 'Itchie/Snitchy' Ramone and it shows in the things that Snitchy
has said.
And then, "I don't know
what the big deal is that my mother doesn't hug me makes the front
page. My mother doesn't hug my brother either but you never hear
that
mentioned." Karen said this after looking
at the front page of a
tabloid (those square papers, not like a regular newspaper) and then
going to "see story page..." and turning the pages to that story.
Karen was furious and slammed the paper on her desk when she came in
that day for school (around late October to mid
November 1978 I believe).
And honestly, I saw Karen and her brother hug each other
both times that Richard visited Karen at the school. Once in 1978
and
once in 1979. I can only imagine what the tabloids would have
done if
they had got pictures of that. And honestly, they just
hugged. Very
heart felt hugs, but hugs none the less. In all honesty, Karen's
and
Richard's mother, Agnes, was not someone that hugged people.
Agnes was
never a mean person unless you did something wrong, she just wasn't a
hugger. Karen's mom was more of a thinker and not a very
emotional person normally. Anyway, Karen told me this incident
mentioned in the paper took place in February 1978. And Karen
said, "I was there and they
brought my mom in and
told me and my mom to hug each other. It was very awkward because
my
mom was not a hugger and they never discussed this with me or my mom
beforehand. So there they were trying to force me and my mom to
hug
each other. It was horrible. You don't force people to hug
each other
like that in front of total strangers. I don't know what they
were
thinking but I let them know what I was thinking and they didn't like
it. Next thing I know it ends up in the papers with a lot of
misleading
information as usual. I am actually glad that me and my mother
didn't
hug because they probably would have accused us of being what was that
word again? Thespians?" And I said, "Lezzies, um, lesbians.
Thespians are actors and actresses." And Karen was like,
"Yeah, they would have probably put it all over the papers that me and
my mom were lesbians. I'm so furious over this. How is
trying to
traumatize people helping them?" And I was like, "I'm going to duck
now, but if you do turn lesbian can I watch?" And Karen gave me that
evil look like I knew she would and said, "Not funny Adrian.
Honestly,
I like guy parts, not girl parts. I thought about it, and I could
never
be like that." And she smiled and then said, "Thanks, I just realized
that how can I turn lesbian or whatever when I can't even bring myself
to hug my own mother?" And I was like, "Yeah, you can't believe all
that you read in the tabloids. But then again, some people will
believe
anything or else the tabloids wouldn't be selling. I mean
honestly,
your therapy sessions are supposed to be private. Like you said,
this
is bad, and you're right about that, I would be furious too." And she
was like, "Richard's looking into it. There were definitely some
breach
of privacy issues broken. Thanks for being my sounding
board. I've been
so upset lately over this as you've probably noticed. Thanks for
helping me feel better like always." And I was like, "My
pleasure. It's
always great seeing that awesome smile of yours. Thanks." And she
was
like, "Pardon me for asking, but have you ever thought about becoming a
doctor when you get older? I think you would make a good
doctor. You've
always helped me out a lot." And I was like, "I've thought about it,
Doctor Ace, but it's not like the old days when people became doctors
to help people. Anymore, it's all about making money as you've
been
noticing and I'm not like that."
I am not sure if this is a continuation of the "hug me"
incident or
something else possibly. But I remember Karen telling me that her
and her mother were at the mental clinic and Karen and her mother were
together in a therapy session. After the psychiatrist or
therapist had tried to accuse her family of not
caring about Karen, Karen became so furious at
them that she
burst into tears and started yelling at them. As Karen said to
me, "My family has always been there for me and trying to say that my
family didn't care about me was the straw that broke the camel's
back. If it wasn't for my family suggesting it, I never would
have went there in the first place. But I was having problems and
it seemed like they (psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists) only
made my problems worst. I had the eating disorder and it had
nothing to do with my family. No one else in my family had the
problem of anorexia nervosa and so trying to blame my family just does
not make any sense. But saying my family did not love or care
about me was just an outright lie and I let them have it for saying
that. I was furious and in tears because I was so mad at them."
Karen dropped the F bomb on them right in front of her
mother and Karen was waiting for her mother to backhand her but instead
Karen's mother said
to Karen something like "Enough Karen, we need to leave this
place. This place isn't doing you any good or me either."
And Karen and her mom walked out of the place and to the family car in
the parking lot of the clinic. Karen then told me that her mother
got Karen into the car and then gave Karen the keys to the car and told
Karen that if a bunch of emergency vehicles showed up that Karen needed
to leave with the car and get out of there and just go home.
Karen's mother told Karen that now it was her turn to give them a piece
of her mind after what had happened (which probably was the 'hug'
session, but not 100% sure now, but close to 100%). Karen's
mother then gave Karen a "I'm probably never going to see you again"
hug and slammed the door to the car and proceeded to walk at least a
half city block back into the clinic and Karen said that she had the
windows rolled up in the car and could still hear every word her mother
said to them after her mother went inside the building. Karen's
mother came back out afterwards and got into the car and Karen and her
mother left and went home. When Karen got the bill, she went into
the clinic and the people there were holding the doors for her and
apologizing and such. Karen went in and paid the bill and then
left and never went back there again.
And another continuation here as I have came across some people that
seem to want to think otherwise (internet again). There is a
picture of Karen and Olivia in their pajamas in a bed on the
internet. From what I have heard from people, that picture was
taken during the overnight stay on I believe sometime in November 1980
when Karen, Olivia, Matt Lattanzi and Thomas Burris took Karen's boat,
the Lucia, to Catalina Island. The boat broke down and so they
had to stay overnight at the 'Motel Dump Water' as Karen called it on
the Merv Griffin Show (the show was taped on September 1, 1981 with
Richard, Karen, John Travolta and Olivia and aired in either October or
November 1981). But the big part of that picture was that when
they were younger, neither Karen nor Olivia had had a slumber party or
such growing up, so they kind of made the best of it and had their
first pajama / slumber party together that night. I saw Karen in
mid June 1981 and she told me about it then as far as Tom not turning
on the pump and then the drive shaft breaking on the boat and the boat
going in circles for a little while until they had figured out what had
happened. But the picture was a special moment for Karen and
Olivia as it was their first 'slumber / pajama party' so to speak while
being 30 years old. In 1978 and 1979, Karen and I would joke once
in a while about pillow fights and such and that was how I had known
that Karen had said she hadn't really had slumber / pajama parties when
she was younger. But for the record for those wondering, nope,
Karen and Olivia dated men only. As I stated that Karen said
above, "I like guy parts not girl parts."
As far as all this hugging nonsense with the shrinks.
Honestly,
how would you feel if you had always been there when your daughter had
been sick or wasn't feeling well or if your daughter was having a
problem and needed someone to talk to and then someone tries to accuse
you of not caring about your daughter? Hugs should be heartfelt,
not forced because of someone's whacked out idea that was and is and
will never be true. You didn't hug someone because you had a
bunch of shady people hanging over your shoulder accusing you of things
that aren't true and it is all your fault that these people are falsely
accusing you of things that are not true. A bunch of
questionable individuals accused Karen's mom,
Agnes, of not caring about Karen because Agnes didn't hug Karen on
their command but the truth was that if Karen had problems, Agnes would
always be there to help Karen get through her problems. The
truth, people hug all the time and neither hugger actually care about
one another, so how did hugging get to be such an issue? Warped
ideas intended to try and cover up the truth that the shrinks were
trying to say that the family was the cause of people writing articles
in tabloids and newpapers about Karen's body type which is what in turn
caused Karen to start trying to lose weight. Psychobabble.
False assumptions all over the place on the part of the shrinks and not
one apology from the shrinks for doing such a lousy job throughout all
of this. Not once did the shrinks ever work with Karen and her
family, but the shrinks kept constantly falsely accusing the family of
stuff that was untrue while trying to say that the shrinks were
helpful despite Karen not getting any better and actually getting worst
under the care of the shrinks. Constantly. And it has
always been the family's fault in the eyes of the shrinks, that the
family got falsely accused of not helping Karen when if it wasn't for
the family suggesting it in the first place, Karen would have never
bothered with the shrinks and all that psychobabble. Karen had
love and affection from her mother but it wasn't in the form of a hug
and Karen knew that. So after Levenkron admitted Karen into his
clinic in 1982 and then Karen had to be hospitalized in September 1982
at 77 pounds, Karen was cured of anorexia by Levenkron,
just ask him. On the other hand, in September 1982 Karen was
admitted into Lennox Hill at 77 pounds and then her weight was
brought up to 104 pounds when Karen left the hospital in November
1982. Levenkron cured Karen, just ask him. Then after the
hospital, Karen moved in with her parents where Karen and her mother
came up with an idea where Karen was only allowed to weigh herself once
a week (Friday) and Karen's weight had appeared to
stabilize as Karen passed away at her parent's house on February 4,
1983 weighing 108 pounds because Levenkron had cured Karen, just ask
him. Because Karen's mom didn't hug Karen on command in front of
a bunch of strangers that were honestly very insulting trying to infer
that because a mother did not hug her grown up daughter when commanded
to do so, the mom doesn't care about the daughter. I am not lying
about this, but others are, aren't they? Yes, insulting.
Accusing someone of not caring about someone just because they won't
hug someone around questionable individuals on demand from those
questionable individuals is an insult. Honestly, if someone
doesn't care about someone they do not talk or be around that
someone. Think about it. Since when did Karen's mom, Agnes,
ever refuse to talk to her daughter? If Agnes did not care about
someone, Agnes would not talk or be around that someone. And case
in point, would you care about someone that had just accused you of not
caring about your daughter because you didn't hug your daughter on
command from that 'stranger (yes, very strange indeed)'? Agnes
and Karen would still talk. After being insulted many times, many
times Agnes would start refusing to talk to the shrinks after Agnes had
been falsely accused many times about not caring about her
daughter. And honestly, when around others, most people refer to
me as Ace. When someone tries to insult me, others start
insisting that the insulter may wish to start showing some respect and
start calling me, Mr. Downing. From there Mr. Downing may then
become, Master Downing, and you can keep digging your own grave from
there, because honestly, you get insulting towards me, I just ignore
you and do not acknowledge that you exist. That's the way the
cookie bounces and the ball crumbles. So definitely great advice
of "if you don't have nothing nice to say, it is better to say nothing
at all". It works. But even better advice, "Always let
someone know that you do not any longer wish to talk to someone and the
reason(s) why you no longer wish to talk to that someone." It
works better. Like Karen and I used to say together, "We don't
make promises, but we say what we mean and mean what we say."
That works even better. Promises can be broken, but words without
meaning become meaningless words, promises included.
And as far as the anorexia problem. Karen and I had actually
figured out what was behind it, but we could never figure out why she
had the arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) outside some possible birth
defect that no one could find. As far as what caused the
anorexia, it was kind of a two stage thing with Karen. Karen
actually was not dieting or such when she first had her collapse back
in 1975 weighing about 91 pounds. We figured out that Karen
couldn't perform or sleep on a full stomach. That was the first
two triggers for Karen's anorexia. With the messy tour schedule
from 1973 to 1975 (collapse September 1975) between performing,
sleeping and having time to eat so that Karen wasn't trying to perform
or eat on a full stomach, Karen started having problems between times
of eating, performing and sleeping as far as the hectic touring
schedule. If Karen ate before sleeping, she didn't sleep
well. With a nervous stomach, Karen couldn't perform well with
something in her stomach. Karen's eating suffered a bit to try
and do the performing and sleeping first and try and eat when time
allowed. I think it was towards the end of 1975 or in 1976 when
Karen started bulimia with eating and then sticking her finger down her
throat to empty her stomach so she could either perform or sleep.
The third part was a bit messy with Karen and involved a thought in
Karen's head that started back when Karen had started high school and
Karen noticed that the guys always asked out the skinny girls and
because of that, Karen thought that in order for a girl to be
considered attractive (especially publicly) a girl needed to be
straight like a board and not curvy. So after the combined
perform, sleep, eat mess would start, the attractive because I am
straight and not curvy part would kick in. There wasn't any
'control' issue or love issue or that kind of stuff and I was around
Karen while she was away from performing for a bit and I saw her doing
better as she didn't have that schedule conflict like with touring and
without the sleep, perform, eat cycle / problem, Karen was keeping her
weight fairly steady around 104 to 110 pounds without having to skip
meals because of sleeping or performing, but a couple times the "I need
to be straight like a board to be attractive" part did kick in with
her, but within a week, the straight like a board thought would go
away. And the trigger for that straight like a board was actually
me a couple times as Karen thought I wasn't attracted to her, and
within a week after me noticing Karen seeming a bit odd, I would remind
Karen that I liked tomboys and mud pies and her, but I was only 14 and
I reminded Karen that because of my age, even with parental consent,
there would be a problem if something physical happened between us
because of others talking (by not touching, there wasn't anything
either of us were doing so to speak, so a rule of no physical touching
between us, as others had tried to accuse and others stuck up for us
because they knew Karen and I had a rule where we didn't physically
touch each other). Karen would sometimes think that I didn't
think she was attractive because I wasn't physical with her, as at
times Karen would forget that I was underaged which would be a whole
other problem there. When Karen started her solo album around
late March, early April 1979 Karen weighed about 136 pounds I
believe. When I last saw Karen for two years on June 22, 1979
Karen weighed 124 pounds I believe. When I saw Karen again on
June 12, 1981 she weighed 94 pounds again. By June 18, 1981 Karen
was back up to around 110 pounds. But the cycle of perform on an
empty stomach and sleep on an empty stomach and at times not being able
to eat to keep her stomach empty for performing and sleeping would
trigger the problem to start and then Karen feeling that in order to be
considered attractive she needed to be straight as a board might
trigger in to keep her wanting to keep her stomach empty. That
was Karen's anorexia. The bulimia and laxatives were to flush out
her system so that her stomach was empty so that she could sleep,
perform or become that "cute little girl" image without curves.
Karen had these thoughts in her head and it was Karen that had these
thoughts. All anyone had to do was ask Karen, which I did and she
told me, but I still can't figure out why therapists and such with big
college degrees and all that weren't smart enough to just ask and
instead all these stinking stories and twisted tales and such to try
and make Karen fit this mold of an anorexic that Karen just never
fit. That mold worked for Cherry (Boone) O'Neill and others like
her, but that mold wasn't Karen as Karen's situation was different than
Cherry's and others's situations. Karen couldn't sleep or perform
on a full stomach. Why do I seem to be the only one that
remembers that about Karen? And it was easy, I just said, "Why
don't you eat?" and Karen said, "I can't perform or sleep on a full
stomach, so I don't eat at least three hours before a show or three
hours before bedtime." (I think she said three but it could have been
two or four even). And remember too, don't eat at least an hour
before you go swimming either...
LIV. Recalling about
Karen's hair dresser and the "Dragon Lady"
First, the story Karen told
me about "The Dragon Lady".
Karen had started babysitting a neighbor boy by the name of Jason and
Karen would tell him stories. One of the stories that Karen told
the
most was a story Karen called "The Dragon Lady". The Dragon Lady
was a
fierce and protective dragon that was nearly invulnerable (invincible?)
except for her warm, tender heart. Karen told me that she had
wished
she had wrote those stories down as they were good stories that Karen
just made up and Karen would tell variations of "The Dragon Lady" story
("The Dragon Lady Saves LA" and "The Dragon Lady Visits New York" and
like that)
to Jason with different plots and such but always the same theme of the
fierce and protective Dragon Lady with the warm and tender heart.
And
yes, the thought behind the story was based on Agnes, Karen's
mom. And
yes too, to hide who some were talking about, they would refer to Agnes
as 'The Dragon Lady'.
And Karen also told me
about 'the hair dresser'
incident.
Karen said she had found out that her hair dresser was having sex with
her brother by accident. Karen talked to her hair dresser,
without
letting her hair dresser know that Karen knew about her and her
brother, and realized that her hair dresser didn't really know anything
personal about her brother. Karen got suspicious and checked
around.
Karen found out that her hair dresser had a little history of trying to
go after guys for their money. As Karen said, "She's a gold
digger".
Karen said that she honestly had hoped for her brother Richard to meet
someone and fall in love and such but being on the road and such made
it difficult to have a lasting relationship. As Karen said,
"Falling
in love is getting to know someone and it was obvious that my hair
dresser didn't have the first clue about anything personal with my
brother except his bank account had seven figures." Karen
also told me that the hair dresser had
told Karen that Richard was a big boy now and Karen should butt out of
it and mind her own business. Karen said if it hadn't been for
the
"butt out of it and mind your own business" comment, Karen would have
probably just told her brother to wear a condom because there were
already too many gold diggers in the world as it was and left it at
that. And I was like, "What if the condom
broke?" And Karen was
like, "I hadn't thought of that" and Karen chuckled a little and said,
"I've had that happen a couple times myself. Good point
there. I was also so wrapped up in battling
the two headed dragon lady
that I forgot to ask Richard if he had feelings for her. We can
all
make mistakes I guess. Me and my mother
came up with the nickname two headed dragon lady because I was
babysitting a neighbor boy named Jason off and on at the time and we
didn't want him knowing who we were talking about. Jason was only
about 5 years old at the time and you know how kids repeat
things. Jason had the prettiest deep blue eyes and him and I
became pals. You and Jason are about the same age but your eyes
are a pale blue and his eyes are a deep blue. Jason's mother had
passed away and he was living with his grandparents around the corner
so Jason and I talked about all kinds of stuff and we had a lot of fun
together. Jason was so full of energy and always seemed excited
to see me every time. I never quite knew what to say to him about
losing his mother because my mother was still around, but I did what I
could to try and help him feel better. Jason was feeling kind of
lonely and I was too so we both hit it off and became pals. And
of course Richard
and I went back out on tour and I lost contact with Jason after
that. [I'm not positive but I think Karen said that Jason and his
grandparents moved away from the cul de sac.]" But
anyway, Karen felt that her hair dresser's
comments were a type of
challenge, and Karen loves a challenge. So
Karen told mom about "the floozy" and both Karen and
mom
had a talk with Richard about it. Richard stopped seeing the hair
dresser because he knew it upset his sister and his mother.
Another
truth, Richard made a wise choice and many years later met Mary
Rudolph.
Well, actually they met before then, but like Karen and I, there were
probems, just different problems. Mary Rudolph was an adopted
first cousin, but we all know how certain individuals like to try and
twist the truth. Yes, adopted, not an actual first cousin.
Richard and Mary took a blood test together as an extra
precaution and there was no way that they could have passed that blood
test if they had been actual first cousins. The truth.
Richard has always been a caring and kind person and Mary Rudolph is a
caring and kind person too. Honestly, if you do actually care
about
someone, you don't usually care too much about their bank account
numbers and you are more concerned about how they are feeling and their
interests and such. Honest too, read this page about Karen
Carpenter,
I should know, right? Wrong?
Both? Well? Honestly, Karen was not a complex
person. People saying things that aren't true about Karen is what
has
made things complicated. Karen simply tried to care about everyone
and help others learn to care about themselves and others by setting a
good example for others to follow, and we all
make mistakes too including Karen.
How complicated is that? OK, for those of you who don't care
about yourself or others I guess you can't understand this, but I
tried. Karen tried too. And honestly, Karen enjoyed
listening to what others had to say and she was not one for putting
words in other people's mouths. Some follow her example and are a
joy to talk to like Karen was. And then there are others...
LV. Searching for
answers about Karen
Unreliable sources have
many stories. Karen's diaries hold many truths. Information
from Phil
Ramone, Karen 'Itchie' Ramone (good nickname, makes your skin crawl,
itchy), Tom Burris (note here, Thomas Burris wished people to call him
Thomas because it was his proper name and sounded more distinctive I
guess, and after the stuff Tom pulled on Karen during the marriage and
divorce, I prefer to use Tom Burris actually so that hopefully his
wishes don't come true. But then too, you
don't teach people not to be mean to others by being mean
yourself. With that being said, I apologize),
and psychiatrists, psychologists and
therapists
abound in Karen Carpenter stories. The truth about Karen abounds
in
Karen's own diaries. Honestly, the sensational stories do not
match the
truth.
As far as those that
have been led to believe that Karen made her solo album because she was
wishing to leave Richard and go on her own... Honestly, Richard
was the
one behind Karen's solo album. Karen said this to me, "If it
hadn't
been for Richard suggesting that I do a solo album, I never would have
done it. Richard and I have always worked well together and the
thought
never crossed my mind until Richard mentioned it. And because
Richard
mentioned it, I did it. I wouldn't have done it otherwise because
I
have always loved working with my brother and I still always wish to do
so. That is why I dedicated the album to my brother
Richard."
Karen's manager, Jerry Weintraub, was the one that came up with the
idea. But in all honesty, Karen was hoping that Richard would say
no to the idea because Karen was busy being a school teacher.
And even more honestly, Karen and Richard didn't have to
break up the band to go solo. I am not sure where the nonsense
started, but seriously, Karen and Richard could do things on their own
if they wished. No big deal. Others tried to make a big
deal out of
Karen doing a solo project. And truthfully, after the solo
project,
Karen and Richard did a Carpenters album that didn't sell too well, but
still sold somewhat. And I know Karen was NOT distraught or such
over
her solo album not being released. Karen could not go public with
the
reason why, but Karen knew why and was the one behind the decision to
shelve the album as well as Alpert and Moss too and her brother Richard
wanting it shelved as well. If you notice, you really don't see
too
much talk about Karen's solo album back when it was being done.
If
Karen was really wanting her album released and such, she would have
not been silent about the album existing. There was a possibility
of
bad press if the album got released and Karen was very aware of
that.
The bad press was actually not about music content or quality or such,
but bad press about Karen, herself. The album got shelved as Phil
and Itchie Ramone had a
LONG track record of trashing artists in the tabloids when something
was being released to try and garner free
publicity for the release. Karen's solo
album did not get released and was
kind of put out to pasture. And really, if there is a possible
scandal, honestly, only an idiot would even suggest such a thing
because then people are going to ask, what is this scandal? So
shelved. One track redone in 1983, several tracks redone in
1989. No scandal or really bad press. No tabloids.
Kept quiet. Karen's solo album released quietly in 1996.
And the truth seems to
be that Karen had a lot of great times around "the folks (mom and
dad)", her brother Richard Carpenter, Cubby O'Brien, Patti Carpenter,
Paul Williams, and many
others but the ones that appear to be the most vocal are the ones that
want to say horrible things about the people that Karen Carpenter cared
the most about while these horrible people are trying to pretend they
were Karen's friends. Honestly, I knew Karen Carpenter personally
and I
can honestly say that she knew who her real friends were and Karen was
picked on when she was younger because she had reddish eyes and hair
and some
kids would call her 'Evil Karen'. I am very proud of Karen's true
friends because in Karen's true self, it is bad for people to pick on
me so it is bad for me to pick on others. I am proud because
Karen's
true friends remember Karen for what a truly great person she was to be
around and the impact she had on others to be better and caring people
themselves. You do not become a better person by trying to blame
and
berate others, but you become a better person by setting a better
example for others to follow. The actual Karen Carpenter was such
a
person to try and set a better example for others to follow.
Have you ever noticed that the ones that appear to be the
most vocal about Karen are also the ones that appear to be the ones
that keep trying to blame others other than themselves and appear to be
the ones to have the most to hide when it comes to truths about
Karen?
Also, have you noticed that the ones that appear to be the least vocal
are also the ones that do not blame others but also do not appear to
have something to hide? Something to think about. Maybe try
something different - honesty perhaps? Just a thought.
LVI. Karen's
principles
Karen believed in having principles and sticking to your
principles. Karen was a Christian and Christians had proverbs to
follow. Here are several of Karen's principles (proverbs)...
"Always stick to your principles. The rules you follow define who
you are. You can't hide from yourself. Let your conscience
be your guide."
"God always gives you a sign to point you in the right direction.
When making decisions I always wait for three signs from the Father,
Son and the Holy Ghost. Of course sometimes you can read the
signs wrong and God does have a sense of humor too and sometimes He
needs a good laugh. So always follow the signs."
"I am not going to be falsely accused of anything so be careful.
If you accuse me of something I'm gonna do it."
"Always keep your promises. Relationships should be built on
trust and you can't trust someone that breaks their promises."
Later Karen and I changed this to "I don't make promises. I say
what I mean and I mean what I say." between us.
"No one is going to call me chicken. If someone dares me to do
something I am going to do it."
"Always finish what you start. No one likes a quitter."
“As they say adversity builds character and as you see, I’m quite a
character.”
"I always believe in what is God given. If it was meant to be
different God will change it and make it different."
"You never know what you can do until you try."
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, it is
better to
say nothing at all. What you do in your house is your business.”
"Remember God has a sense of humor too so be careful what you wish for
as you will most likely get it one way or another."
"In Heaven the streets are paved with gold but we're not in Heaven so
we gotta watch where we step."
"Always appreciate what you have. Some day it may be gone."
"Never say never. Sooner or later it's bound to happen whether
you want it to or not."
From others and Karen’s own experience, “Never marry someone you meet
in a bar.”
"Remember, God is always watching you. Always make the best of it
and give Him something good to watch."
"If things were perfect, nothing would ever get better. There's
always room for improvement."
"We're all perfect in our own messed up ways."
"Since we're all created in God's image, there's nothing wrong with
believing in ourselves just don't get too cocky because then God will
knock you down a peg or two."
Note, this one kind of slipped out after one of a few times Karen and I
talked about Elvis. "I feel there are too many copy cats out
there as it is. I like being different and doing things
differently. It gets too boring for me otherwise but to each
their own. I feel we are each made differently for a reason or
else we'd all be the same. We all have our role models but we are
all unique too. If you are going to be something what is wrong
with being yourself whatever that may be, copy cats included."
And of course I couldn't resist using an Elvis type voice back, "Thank
you. Thank you very much."
"You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. Always
mind your P's and Q's."
"The best things in life aren't easy and require a bit of work. I
like keeping busy."
"Always try to be kind to others as you never know when you might have
a bad day and need others to be kind to you."
"Always look for the good in people. Things happen.
Nobody's perfect."
"We're not born with instruction manuals and some people take longer to
learn than others."
“Your body is your temple.”
And one of my favorites that Karen would use for people that were a bit
mouthy (cocky or arrogant). "Ass is not a swear word. It's
in the Bible and don't take my word for it. You should look it
up. I'm not going to tell you where it is in there but if you
keep reading you will find it. It's that book that starts out
with in the beginning and I feel you should read it. There's a
lot of good advice in there that you might want to look into."
LVII. In conclusion
(September 1978 to June 1979)
What came of this : Well, I
forgot about this stuff for quite a while, but it was actually stuff
that helped fill in a bunch of blanks that happened over the
years. February 23, 1980, my family moved from 265 East Third
Street in Corning to 8 Garden Street in South Corning. I can't
remember if Karen may have had our old address or not. I did have
a keepsake from Karen. For Christmas 1978, Karen did the
Carpenters' Christmas Special and the video has Karen putting a present
into the mailbox while singing "Merry Christmas Darling". The
original 1970 version of that video had Karen putting a wrapped pen
& pencil set for her father in the mailbox.
My
present was a calligraphy fountain pen with an ink cartridge in the
same wrapping.
Karen asked me to watch the special on TV, which I did, but I watched
it on my Emerson 13" black and white TV in my room.
And the 'did have' was because I still am not sure what happened to the
pen after we moved in 1980. Also, at
the time, I was getting asked not to say a word
about my unique tooth to anyone. And on top of that, I had a
teacher that became a very close friend that had her secrets too.
I don't ever remember bringing up my tooth in any of our conversations,
but I definitely didn't want either Karen or myself to be bombarded by
a bunch of people. So I talked a lot, but I still kept my
secrets, just like Karen did. Sharing is definitely a wonderful
thing.
Where : I believe Corning
Free Academy but not really sure if it may
have been a field trip, Corning, NY
Who : the former and current Dalai Lamas (13 & 14), Karen
Carpenter
What happened : Before an assembly, I was escorted backstage
and met
with both the Dalai Lama and his soon to be replacement (the current
Dalai Lama). The former Dalai Lama didn't speak much english so
the current Dalai Lama did the talking. The one that escorted me
was Karen Carpenter. On the way to the steps, Karen licked her
thumb and wiped my cheek and said, "You had some dirt on you." I
was like, "Yuck, my mom does that." And Karen was like, "Sorry,
I'm just nervous. Remember to ask about soul mates." And I
was like, "OK." There were several others in front of us and the
assembly was about to begin so everyone was getting rushed
through. I was the last one in line. The current Dalai Lama
said, "Hello Dolly." And then the current Dalai Lama winked at
me. Then the current Dalai Lama said, "You are only allowed to
ask one question of me, but first I need to ask you a question.
Was Sir Nicholas upset that he did not get the title of World's
Smartest?" I said something like, "He's not
upset he didn't win, there were a few others that Sir Nicholas felt may
have been smarter than him, but why Stephen Hawking?" or something to
that
effect. The former Dalai Lama motioned his arms to the current
Dalai Lama to hurry up. The current
Dalai Lama told me, "When Albert Einstein died there were many people
possible, but no one really stood out from the rest. Sir
Nicholas' name was
definitely brought up, but the people that decide could not give a
consensus to Sir Nicholas because there were doubts. They tried
several others but still could not gain a consensus with anyone because
no one at the time really stood out above the rest like Albert
Einstein or Charles Darwin had done. It was only when the
committee asked the question, Who would be least likely to stand
against the others? (or something to that
effect and definitely a pun with the word 'stand' as Dr. Hawking was in
a
wheelchair at the time) and then they could agree on Dr. Stephen
Hawking." Hawking
won not because he was smartest, but more because he was least likely
of
the bunch to "rock the boat" so to speak unlike what Albert and Charles
had
done before. Stability. Karen said,
"Well, that was a loss of a hundred and twenty-five
bucks down the drain." towards the end. Then the 14th Dalai
Lama also said something like, "Like I said, you may ask only one
question, but Karen why do you wish to waste your
money to ask a question when you already know
that the answer to that question is yes? I
was unable to read him, so I played a trick on you Karen.
I made you think that he had dirt on his face so that you would touch
him, and after you touched him, I was able to read him through
you. He
has a block on him so I can not read him directly. Very
unusual. But I hope that you forgive me
for my trick, O Divine (yes, a translation error as I know the Dalai
Lama wished to say Enlightened but that word eluded him at the time)
One, I did not realize it was you Buddha. And
may I congratulate the happy couple and wish you much happiness. I
must go now. Thank you." And the
Dalai Lama winked again. After all, the Dalai Lama said "ask only
one question" but he did not say that he could not give more than one
answer. As the 14th Dalai Lama stated about himself, the ultimate
trickster. I said, "Thank
you your Holiness." And I believe Karen said, "Thank you again
your Holiness. I should know better by now." or something like
that
with a big smile on her face. The Dalai
Lama had a card which
read "The meaning of life in one word, duty." I also believe that
this was at Corning Free Academy because of the curtain and stage
setup, but not
totally sure. And then the Dalai Lamas went on
stage and Karen and I left.
What came of this : Well, I figured something was up with
Hawking as
World's Smartest. Now I know. And Karen did touch her soul
mate once by licking her thumb and wiping my cheek.
Where :
Corning - Painted
Post East High School, Corning, NY
Who :
Karen Carpenter
I.
June 12, 1981? Karen and I reunited
And on
August 16, 2019 I
remember that Karen and I did meet again at
Corning - Painted Post East High School in 1981.
It was a sunny day, so I am thinking it was the middle of June 1981 but
not positive on that. Karen came to the school and had me paged
to the office at the school. The secretary called up my room I
was in and had me come to the office. When I got to the office,
Karen was standing by the reception desk and she was all decked out
with a short black dress, black fishnet type stockings, heels, and a
couple luau necklaces. When I got there, Karen said, "Hi, I was
the
one who had you paged. Do you remember me?" as I was going to the
reception desk. And I was like, "You look kind of familiar, but I
don't really recognize you." And she said, "It's me, Karen,
remember, you and I spent most of 8th grade together? I still
have that ring you gave me." And I was like, "Oh my God, it is
you. I remember. But you're kind of dressed like a slut so
you threw me off a bit." And she was like, "Well, that was
blunt. I guess I should have seen that coming the way I'm dressed
with the fishnet stockings and all. I just flew in and I didn't
have time to change out of my secretary clothes. I got a job in
the area now. We can be together again." And I was like,
"You look so different dressed up but it is still you on the inside
that counts, and as we both know, I like..." and Karen and I both said
in unison together, "Tomboys and mud pies." And we were both
like, "It is you, how've you been?" at the same time to each other
again. And the receptionist / secretary said (Lois,
who lived with Marvin's son, Ed, and Ed and Lois used to
rent the upstairs apartment from my parents at 265 East Third Street),
"You can use
[whatever] room if you two want some privacy. Don't forget to
close the curtains. Don't worry, I'll keep a look out for you
two. And here, put on this sweater [a long
white knitted
sweater]. If you remember, it's your old sweater and you left it
at
the apartment when you left two years ago. He's right. You
do
kind of
look trashy and I think the sweater will help cover it up."
As a side note here, the assistant principal at Corning
Free Academy became an assistant principal at Corning - Painted Post
East
High School, Roger Grigsby. Marvin Mishrell was the other
assistant principal and Marvin's son Ed rented the upstairs apartment
from my parents before at 265 East Third Street. We'd moved to 8
Garden Street at this time. And so we went in
the room and Karen said, "I told her that
I was your fiancé
and she believed me. I hope you don't
mind." and I was like, "Like always, you make me smile.
That was a good one." Karen was like, "Yeah, she also told me
that you haven't been seeing anyone and the secretary was actually glad
to hear that we were engaged. She told me to say that my ring was
a
Cubic Zirconia but looked real and she said it was still a beautiful
ring and that you seem to be a really nice guy. She remembered me
from before when we woke up the neighborhood that time. We had a
good laugh together. The secretary
also said that she sent her boss out on an errand and that we had about
an hour before he got back. Us secretaries need to stick
together." And then Karen asked, "I forgot, what were our pet
names for each other again?" And I was like, "Honey and
Darling." And she was like, "That's right. I keep
forgetting." And I was like, "That's OK. I only remember because
you used your Marlene Dietrich voice and Marlene called everyone
Darling and honestly, I came up with Honey after I looked over at your
honey dipper for your tea. I almost called you Bear because your
honey was in that bear jug." And she laughed and said, "I
remember that. I forgot about the honey bear. I kind of
wondered how you came up with that so fast." And I was like,
"Yeah, it just kind of just slipped out like that." And then I
said, "That was really great that the
secretary did that for us. I saw Patti in my french class so it
was a bit awkward. I didn't really know what to say to her half
the time. She did talk though and told me about you getting
married." And Karen was like, "Yeah, I got married on August
31st?,
1980 to a guy named Tom Burris and he has a boy Patti's age.
[then some personal information that I would rather not repeat in
public, not only because of privacy issues, but also because it is
still a bit garbled and I don't want to take a chance of writing
something again that may be a bit off and possibly wrong]. Then
she talked about her husband, Tom, and said something like, "When
people give you good advice, always listen. People have always
told me not to marry someone you meet in a bar and now I'm paying for
it because I didn't listen." And I was like, "I know, the 5 F's
of meeting someone in a bar - Find 'em, feel 'em, finger 'em, f*** 'em,
then forget 'em, but in your case it is probably Find 'em, feel 'em,
fondle 'em, f*** 'em, then forget 'em." And Karen was like, "I
like that better. I'll have to remember that. Tom kind
of blind-sided me because at first he kind of looked like you without
your glasses only he is about ten years older than me.
But then too, he was more of a beefcake and you are more of
a hunk. After seeing you again, I definitely see the difference
between a beefcake and a hunk. Beefcakes are great to look at,
but
then I got to know him better and realized that he was not the hunk I
thought he was at first. Tom is definitely not a diamond in the
rough. Tom got me on the rebound because I
never got over you. My hormones were raging
and my biologic clock was ticking. You
weren't there to protect me. I was
lonely and vulnerable and how did Rod say it?" And then I said,
"You were desparate." And Karen said "Yeah, I was
desperate. Really desperate. Do you
like my ring? Yeah, I bought it myself, so it is just what I
wanted and this is the ring I wish you had been able to give to
me. I originally picked this ring out with you if you
remember right. You made that growl sound in your throat when you
saw
that ring. You were so cute. I had to get it and I stuck it
away in my hope chest hoping that some day... Actually,
I sent a limo to pick you up at your house, but you weren't
there." And
I was like, "We moved on February 23rd, 1980 to a different
house."
And she was like, "I kept hoping that you would show up at my wedding
and be my knight in shining armor like always, I kept looking for you
but you weren't
there.
And you know me and my signs. When you didn't show up I figured
it was a sign that I should marry Tom, so I did." And I was like,
"Try to remember this, if I don't show up at your wedding it is a sign
that you are marrying the wrong guy again. Besides, I was only 15
at the time and that would have looked great splattered all over the
papers. You know me, I still would have
gone through with it somehow, but..." And
Karen was like, "I'll try to remember that. And speaking of
papers, People Magazine was there. I almost backed out, but my
mom made this big speech and I went through with it. Her speech
wasn't that good, but my mom rarely makes speeches so I figured it was
important to her that I went through with it, so I did.
I was also good friends with his cousin [Debbie
(Vaiusa?) Cuticello] and so I figured how bad
could he be? Anyway,
Tom got a vasectomy because he was worried that if I got
pregnant that it might wreck my voice and destroy my singing
career. I
asked him several times to get it reversed and I would pay for it but
he refused every time." And I was like,
"Well
that was thoughtful of him." And to Tom's credit, Karen had
arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) and with that, Karen getting pregnant
would be a difficult situation and a definite cause for concern.
And Karen was like, "Not funny Ace, but Tom admitted he wasn’t being
totally honest with me when he told me about the vasectomy before we
got married so I figured maybe he changed and was going to turn over a
new leaf after we got married. Tom changed alright after we got
married. Tom and I had great sex before we got married, but you
can't live on love alone. Before
we
got married, Tom always asked permission and such before doing
something. After we got married, Tom
kept trying to run everything. I kicked Tom out of the studio
because
Tom was trying to tell Richard how to record me." And I was like,
"I
remember Richard that time and I remember Richard and I there and you
sitting at your desk and telling Richard and I when it was alright for
us to talk. We knew better. But Richard has been recording
you for years and what does
Tom know about a recording studio anyway? Vasectomy, strike
one.
Bossy, strike
two." And then Karen said, "I forgot about
you meeting Richard.
You two were funny. Richard doesn't usually make jokes around
others, so I know he at least felt comfortable around you. But
Tom
and I even
fought on Christmas. It was our first Christmas together so I
wanted
to spend it at our new home and Tom had made plans to see people and
didn't tell me about it until the last minute. I piled up all the
presents in the back seat of the car, which is a small seat, and off we
went with his son trying not to sit on presents the whole
trip. So we ended up
spending
Christmas on the road and I was not happy and I definitely let him know
I definitely was not, as you call it, a happy camper." And I was
like, "I know how much you love
Christmas
and I'm surprised that you didn't shove the tree, angel and all, up
where the sun don't shine and then turn the lights on. Our
family usually visits everyone on Christmas day, but with you, I would
definitely let you decide and if you wanted to stay home, we would stay
home. No questions asked." And then Karen said, "I just got
an image
of that tree thing you just said. That's funny. I wish I
had thought
of that. I was definitely mad enough to do it at the time. And
as you say, pardon my french, but Tom is definitely a big enough
a**hole that the tree would fit with room to spare and we had a really
big tree this year. [And we both
laughed]. But
that wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back. Tom and I
visited
[my friend] and then when I asked him to visit again he seemed to be
making up excuses. A few times of this and I got suspicious and
called
up [my friend] and asked her if something had happened while Tom was
there." Karen said that "[my friend] said that Tom had tried to
talk
her into having sex with him and she felt awkward because she didn't
know what to do about it. [my friend] was worried that I might be
offended if she didn't want to have sex with him because she found him
to be kind of repulsive. Tom lied about why he and his ex wife
split up. And after I found out that he hit on [my friend] I am
all
done with Tom. Three strikes. You're out. Tom and
I are definitely having some problems lately
and
I guess it was to be expected. We both kind of started out on the
wrong foot and lied to each other. I lied to him about the rings
and about almost everything really. I never trusted him for some
reason... I think that reason was because I already knew someone
that I knew I could always trust. That someone is you. I
remembered what you said too about promises." And then we both
said together, "I don't make promises, but I say what I mean and I mean
what I say." And then she said, "We were both vulnerable and
lonely and we made all of these promises to each other and I think
we've broken about every promise we ever made to each other. It's
a real mess. I know you can see my
thoughts again and I know you just saw that.
Yes, he did. I was his wife. He
wanted sex. I was dry and we were both sore for a couple of days
afterwards, but he wanted sex and he got it. And I know you and I
know you’re different than that. That was one of the worst
experiences I’ve ever gone through in my life. He had his hand
over my mouth and it was just awful. As you can imagine, we
haven’t talked much since then. It’s pretty much over between us
because of that. [...Unspoken : I could read Karen's thoughts and
I definitely read this one. This happened sometime in October or
November 1980 just a little after Karen and Tom had been married.
Karen had both fear and anger associated with remembering this
stuff. Tom snuck up on Karen and physically held Karen down so
that Karen couldn't fight back or get away. A guy that cares
about a woman would only restrain a woman to keep her from hurting
herself or others. Not to force, but restrain. This was
forceful. This was bad, but after this Karen started to
physically keep her distance from Tom as protection as Karen was
rightfully worried that the physical confrontations between Karen and
Tom would start getting worst ('escalating' for people that like the
'big words'). As far as I know, Tom did not physically strike
Karen, however, holding someone down like that for that reason is what
ended it and is physical abuse. Karen could never trust Tom again
after that happened. What next? Was Tom going to start
beating Karen up if Karen didn't do whatever Tom wanted? Karen
was NOT going to let it get that far. The marriage was over at
that point but it was passed the 'annul' date and California law at the
time stated that they had to wait at least a year before getting a
divorce unless Karen could prove that her life was in danger.
Over. That was that. There was something wrong with Tom and
Tom couldn't talk about it with Karen and at that point, things were
only bound to get worst between them as you know, if there is something
you can't talk about with someone you say you care about, it must be
REALLY bad. This wasn't a "this hurts so let's try not to talk
about it" thing. This was definitely a "if I tell you the truth
then you are going to hate me and never want to be around me again
anyway" thing. And now back to Karen speaking again...] I'm
a Christian and I can't hate anyone but Tom
is the closest to
hating someone I've ever known. If you
remember Max,
Max was
a saint compared to Tom. And
if you remember too, you were an answer to my prayers. Tom never
got me like you did with that coin trick. And I figure that you
had figured out by now that it was Olivia and Dionne that time and we
still laugh about it because I had that racing stripe down the middle
of my face and I didn't know it. That was funny and everyone knew
that you got me except me until later. The pencil mark wiped
right off so it was no big deal. That's right, what did you and
Dionne talk about anyway?" And I was like, "Dionne just wanted to
make sure that I was the one that did that to you and that I told you
about it before someone else did. We talked about you
mostly. She
was just looking out for you." And Karen was like, "I was kind of
jealous because you two talked and were laughing, but that's what she
told me too later
on was that she wanted to make sure you did it and that you told me
before I found out
about it and that you and her talked mostly about me. I really
messed up with Dionne because I was jealous,
but there's nothing I can do about it now.
We weren't talking and it was all my fault because I got jealous
and I wasn't thinking."
And I was like, "You didn't did you?" And Karen was like, "We got
arguing and I did, we both did, and I kind of regret it because I was
not
raised that way but there's nothing I can do about it
now. I don't take back what I said, but I just wish I could have
found a better way to say it was all. It just happened like
that." And Karen continued, "Tom
pulled the drinking
glasses trick on me where the glass leaks, but it's just not the
same. It wrecked my new pants suit and was just a mess
really. You
got me good, with Tom I got myself.
And, oh, what a mess I got myself into with Tom.
I really don't
care about him any more and I just
want him gone and out of my life." And
I was like, "Uh
oh.
I messed up again, didn't I? Sounds like things aren't working
out so well in your marriage. You know how I
always wish you the best and to be happy, I'm sorry to hear that things
aren't going so well, but maybe things can get better somehow."
And then I paused a little and then
continued, "It still seems kind of weird that everyone is our 500th or
whatever great grandkid." She was like, "Yeah, I still remember
what Nick said to us about not having children and possibly bringing
about another Great Flood and all that. I forgot to tell you that
he did say I could call him Nick too instead of Sir Nicholas."
And we both said, "But only in private. Jinx." And then we
both said together again, "He sounds just like John Cleese.
Double jinx." And we both
laughed a little and then she said, "He told me
he is actually Olivia's distant cousin. Oh
and Rod and I made up at my
wedding. I realized that he was just caught between a rock and a
hard place and it wasn't really his fault. Rod and I came up with
a new nickname for Itchie at my wedding, Tagalong. Wherever I
went, Tagalong wasn't too far behind. I actually kind of feel
sorry for her as she got the role as an antagonist in that Flashdance
movie and people look at her as a bad person because of that
movie. So I've kind of taken her under my wing to see if we can
soften up her public image a bit." And I'm like, "Actually, that
antagonist image does kind of suit her if you remember correctly.
Not the man stealer part from the movie, but she ain't exactly a nice
person as I don't tend to get into arguments with nice people; she can
be sneaky at times like in the movie. You know I trust you, but I
don't trust her and never will. I can still see the knife marks
from the last time she tried to stab you in the back. Remember
that article and the
pictures?" And Karen was like, "I'll be alright, but I'll try to
remember that. My solo album is actually tied up in limbo for who
knows how long. I almost made the cover of Rolling Stone and they
did an interview with me on Saint Patty’s day. I thought it was a
joke at first because I didn’t think people worked on Saint Patty’s
day, but it was a real interview and I got to watch the Saint Patty’s
day parade from a window. I had on a top hat but somehow my top
hat disappeared and someone gave me a derby instead. But that
interview got me thinking that the papers were looking to make this
into a possible breakup and so I had them hold off on the article and
they did. I later decided to shelve that can of worms as I could
see the papers looking to use it as a Carpenters breakup and I am not
about to leave my brother. I was figuring because the album
wasn’t good musically that it would be looked at as a flop. Until
that interview, I hadn’t thought about what could happen if the album
was a hit. When I first played it for everyone I remember the
looks on their faces after I played it. My brother said it
sounded like crap and that was what I was hoping for. I was
hoping that the album would tank and that people wouldn’t bother me
again about doing another solo album.” And I was like, “All
filler and no killer. I remember you telling
me how Phil took all your good stuff and left you with leftovers.
What if it backfired and sold? People tend to listen to crap
nowadays if you haven’t noticed.” And Karen continued, “We were
getting ready to release the album and I thought that too about it
possibly being successful and not a flop. With that thought I
decided to shelve the album. I didn’t feel like having every
interview start off with so are you going solo? So I decided to
shelve the album. I asked them if I could hold off and not
release the album and I was surprised that they did. I also cried
because everyone had worked so hard on that album and I felt like I was
letting everyone down when I didn’t release it. I had enough
nonsense on my plate without adding a solo album to it, so I decided to
shelve the album for personal reasons and Richard, Jerry, Herb, and
even Phil said they would back me up on it. And if you remember
right, part of those
personal reasons were because of your age and what if people asked
about that stuff too. Out of sight. Out of mind. Too
risky. And you know me and my signs and when I got those signs at
the last minute that the album was a can of worms, I felt it best to
leave that can of worms on the shelf and still in the can where it
belongs. I still love
the album because most of the songs were about us and it has been about
all I have of us besides my pen and a couple of those kinky critters
you left in my desk drawers. I actually gave most of them away,
but I did keep a few as souvenirs. And yes, I still remember and
put them in different positions here and there when others aren't
around and I still laugh about it. You had a pretty wild
imagination as a kid." And I was like, "Sorry I wasn't there to
tonsilectomy the bride at your wedding. Honestly, I have been
trying to get you out of my system for the last couple years. I
haven't been doing so well as you can see. I know I look
terrible. I did buy Michael Jackson's Rock with You single and I
played it almost non stop for over a month after it came out and I
pretty much wore the single out because the grooves are white now
instead of black. I wore the needle out too and I had to replace
that as well. I definitely hugged the stuffings out of my pillow
for quite a while and then I just started forgetting about you for some
reason. I'm not sure why, but I did. It wasn't until Patti
was in my french class that I started remembering again. I
honestly don't remember half the things we did anymore, I just remember
that we had some great times together." And Karen was like,
"Yeah, it hit me pretty hard too and a few times I just started crying
and I didn't know why. I just did. And then I met Tom, but
I never really
forgot you, I just put you in the background. You
are still my strength when things go wrong and such. I remember
what others said about us being soul mates and honestly, even though I
missed you being there, you still gave me strength when I needed
it. Like you, I was an emotional train wreck too. We had
always
helped each other feel better for so long and you never realize how
good you have it until it's gone." And I was like, "Long and
gone. Hey you're a poet and didn't know it. I didn't
realize either. I mean I did realize, but when I forgot about you
for a little while, it kind of affected me a lot different than what I
thought. I honestly didn't think it was possible to forget about
you back then, but it happened and there is still some stuff I know I
have still forgot about yet. When I just started getting too
lonely, I thought of you and felt better even though you weren't
here. I also thought about everyone being our great whatever
grandkids too." And Karen was like, "Actually, that stuff still
kind of freaks me out. I try not to think about it too
much. We almost came close to possibly destroying the world and
we didn't even know it. It's just creepy." And I was like,
"Me too. I mean I love you, but not enough to destroy the world
over. Finding that stuff out kind of ruined us getting together
in the future when I get old enough. I still love the thought of
us spending forever together." And then she was like, "Me
too. I still love you and miss you so much. Us being
together forever sounds great to me too. And I got to thinking
too that I think Nick was wrong because we've had other lives since
then and even the Bible says there isn't going to be another Great
Flood when it talks about rainbows. I think we'll be fine if we
do get together. Well, I
just came back
into town for a little while for Patti's graduation and I thought I
would
stop by and say hi while I was here. I'm
staying with my cousin Wendy so the spinsters are back together again
and we're having a blast
and catching up on the soap operas and our knitting."
I was like, "Does she
still have that room above the garage available for rent?" And
Karen was like, "You remembered. Actually, Tom came with me and I
rented the room above the garage for him and his son.
We had to put it in his son's name because Tom doesn't have a good
credit rating. Oh and by the way, I ran a credit check on you
too, just for the fun of it. Very interesting as your rating puts
Tom’s and his son’s ratings to shame. I
told Tom
I was
getting a secretary job at the school so that I could sneak off and see
you again." And the reason why a bit fuzzy is because of what
went on
next, Karen said, "Well, we don't have much time left, do you want to
keep wasting it talking or do you want to make out with me?" And
I
took my glasses
off and Karen wrapped her arms around me and I wrapped my arms around
her and I tonsilectomied (stuck my tongue down her throat and rubbed it
back and forth like a dog in heat) her for the next two
minutes or so. Karen was trying to push me away, but I let her
have
it. After I let her get away, she slapped me. I
then gave her the 'you asked for it' look. And
then she saw my thoughts again and realized what I was upset about and
she got a bit nervous. She then said, "Sorry I slapped you but I
didn't like what you did to me just now. That was just
horrible. If
it had been anyone else I would have been looking to break something
over their head." And I was like, "That's OK. I deserved to
be
slapped or even worst and as you know what I did was
intentional." And
she was like, "Yeah, I just realized why you did it too. Here I
am
dressed like a slut as you called it and then asking you to make out
with me and not wanting to talk. I kind of asked for that.
I thought
at first you did that because you didn't know what you were
doing.
I
think that my thinking you are just a kid kind of backfired on me again
like before." And I was like, "You got it. And I gave it to
you. If
you want to act like a slut, I can treat you like a slut. Welcome
back. But actually that's wrong of me especially with you.
I took
what you said the wrong way. And I need to say something else,
myself. First, I think we are both sliding on thin ice right
now. You
have two strikes against you and I have two and a half strikes against
me with that tonsilectomy I gave you and
thinking about you being a slut when you're not.
We are definitely starting
out
on the wrong foot. I think it is because you are looking for
someone
to be a lover and I am looking for someone to share my time with.
We
don't match. You want a lover and I want a companion. But I
think we
both need a lover that is a companion too. We both want
something, but
I think we both need something even better." And Karen was like,
"I
think you are on to something there and I agree." And then I
said, "Do
you remember when we visited the Dalai Lamas and the
Dalai
Lama made you think there was dirt on my face?" And Karen was
like, "I
think I remember that, but what's your point?" And I was like,
"If you
remember what Rod said about soul mates and touching, well, we've
touched each other. In all honesty, I don't want to spend the
rest of
eternity with you wanting to wipe dirt off my face or giving
tonsilectomies, do you?" Karen was like, "Do you think we could
start
over?" And I was like, "We can try." And then Karen and I
gave each
other a long (five minutes or so) passionate kiss (liplock) as we held
each other in our arms and embraced each other. The smiles and
cloud
11 were definitely back between us again. Our eyes were even
brighter
(more engaging) than before too. At the end of 8th grade, Karen
and I had the world in our eyes. Now, Karen and I started having
the universe in our eyes. Instead of sparks and flames, we were
having nukes and supernovas. Also, back in 1979, it was passion
and an urge to go further. In 1981, we found out about 'first
contact'. We didn't hug or hold, we caressed each other.
Soft and sensual, not wild and crazy. Intimate and meaningful,
not just out for a good time. Lovingly, not bumping and
grinding. A lover (well, she had her visitor so as close as we
could get to it...) and a companion. We
went from a feeling of now to a feeling of forever.
As everyone noticed, it was
awesome. Before, the secretary told
Karen that she would knock lightly three times on the door about five
minutes before her boss was to arrive. The knocks came and Karen
and I waited about a minute or so and then I proceeded to open the door
and walk out with Karen just in front of me. We were both
definitely floating on cloud 11 or higher and so staggering out might
have been a better word for it. I leaned forward and gave Karen a
kiss on her cheek and I said, "I love you forever Honey." And she
spun around and gave me a liplock (no tongue) and said, "I love you
forever too Darling." On the way out we both thanked the
secretary and she said, "No, thank you, it was my pleasure. It's
about time his office got put to some good use for a change. My
father in law is about as romantic as a [I think she said 'wet sponge'
but not sure now]. Good
luck you two. And Ace, just wait a couple minutes and go to your
next class." And I walked out with Karen and then we wrapped our
arms around each other and embraced and kind of did a slow dance
together while giving each other a liplock again and slowly
spinning around. And then Karen and I parted company and we blew
each other kisses and caught them. And I was like, "I still love
that smile." And she was like, "Me too as much as I love
you." And I was like, "I love you too." And Karen went out
the front door and I went to my class and got my books and then went to
my
next class.
II.
That eye color saying thing. Air bubbles. Elvis. Pony
tails
Karen
mentioned about the eye
color thing and she said, "How
did that go again?". And I was like, "If your eyes are brown, you
are
full of it, and if your eyes are blue, you are a quart low." And
I
think Karen said something like, "Tom's eyes are blue, but I think it
is because he has an air bubble in there somewhere." And I was
like,
"I hadn't thought of that. Could be."
At some
point I also
mentioned to Karen, "Remember how you always thought that Elvis was my
dad. Well, I had a school physical last year and my doctor told
me that I was born breach and my mom was a virgin when I was
born." And Karen was like, "Anyone else and that would just freak
me out, but with you that makes sense. It figures.
Actually, that explains a lot. Are you sure about that?"
And I was like, "Positive. My doctor told me probably a couple
days after you got married. I guess that explains why I've never
been normal or whatever." And Karen was like, "I think normal is
overrated too. Welcome to the club" or something like that.
And of course Karen and I didn't have much 'private time' and kids
started coming around again so we got back to serious cuddling and such.
And of
course a new saying,
"People wear pony tails so that if their head gets stuck up their butt,
others have something to pull their head back out again with." In
all honesty, Karen usually wore her hair in a braided pony tail in the
back and she looked great. Karen wore very little makeup and her
freckles made her face shine bright. Karen also wore brightly
colored pastel sun dresses. Most people thought Karen was in her
late teens or early 20s (23 at most) because Karen just had a glow
about her that gave her a youthful and attractive appearance. I
have no idea who's idea it was for Karen's "Made In America" album
videos to try and make Karen appear middle aged. No one that saw
Karen at
the high school would have guessed that Karen was the one in the "Touch
Me When We're Dancing" videos. Even I have a hard time believing
it is Karen in those videos. But then too, the "statues" video
definitely has a type of 'sex sells protest' feel to it which I believe
both Karen and Richard were tired of all the 'sex sells' hype at the
time. If women can bare it all, why can't men bare it all
too? Why is all of this 'sex sells' stuff only aimed at
women?
Great video. [Side note, I think I remember Karen saying
something like, "We kind of did that video because if you remember our
manager, Jerry, always said, ‘sex sells baby’. There were a bunch
of complaints about the statue
video and the guy's schlong hanging out. Only a couple people
mentioned
anything about the bare breasts (Karen would on
occasion say cleavage, but most times Karen
used the word bosoms. That's why I am pretty sure she said
breasts on
this one). Because of the complaints, they
had us make another video". And me of course, "Doesn't the record
company know that sex sells? It was only statues. It's just
art, but still... But then too maybe the video wasn't sexy enough
because as a statue he was hard, but his schlong wasn't really
hard. Maybe that was it." And I think Karen said (with a
giggle in her voice), "my thoughts exactly but we made another video
anyway without the statues."]
III.
I was only gone a little over a half hour
I
remember the one time that
I came out after an exam and Karen had tears just streaming down her
face and I said, "What happened? Are you all right?" And
Karen said, "I'm sorry, I missed you. I couldn't help it."
And I was like, "Aw, I missed you too. I love you so much."
And then we embraced and liplocked and then I assumed the position
against the wall and Karen climbed on top. Then I said, "Are you
sure you're OK?" And she said, "I'm OK now." And within a
minute later she was out like a light with her arms wrapped around me
again and my arms wrapped around her. A couple of the others
asked, "What happened? Is she all right? We were all
talking and then she just started crying." And I was like, "She's
tired and she missed me. She's fine now but she needs some
rest. Her visitor, period, takes a lot out of her and she gets
emotional sometimes." And a couple minutes later I zonked out too.
IV.
Hiding out
Another
time I came out of an
exam and Karen was hiding out in the auditorium. I had told Karen
earlier that day that the legal age in New York was 18 and not 16 like
in California. A police officer came into the school and Karen
got nervous so she ducked into the auditorium and hid just inside the
auditorium door. When I came around by the trophy case, Karen
opened the door and told me she saw a police officer come into the
school and the officer started asking people questions and then she got
nervous and hid. There was a car parked out front that wasn't
supposed to be sitting there and the cop had just came in to the school
to see if he could find the person and have them move the car. I
also told Karen after that, that if it had been something else that
both of my parents worked about 5 minutes away and that they would
definitely say that Karen had their permission to be with me aka
'parental consent'. I told Karen that because she wasn't a
teacher now that she didn't have to worry about the teacher and student
stuff any more. Honestly, no one really thought Karen was that
much older than me so no one really thought much about it or asked
about it. Plus Karen and I were happily engaged and Karen had a
ring on her finger to prove it. Karen and I were fine together.
Nobody really bothered Karen and me except to wake me up for an exam or
that one time that I was snoring and they didn't want me waking Karen
up,
which wasn't a bother really, but more of a necessity.
V.
The aftermax recollection
Karen
also brought up Max
again. Karen was like, "I know Max
was a sore spot with you, but I was glad it worked out the way it
did.
What did we call ourselves?" And I was like, "The walking
wounded."
And Karen was like, "I remember. I was definitely sore and
bruised for
a couple days and you were hobbling around too with sympathy
pains."
And I was like, "Actually, I pulled a groin muscle when I reached over
your desk and grabbed him. We were both a sorry sight afterwards
and I
remember how the other kids thought we had had sex as being the reason
why we were in such bad shape." She was like, "I remember that
too. I
just saw an arm come over my book rack and then Max wasn't there
anymore and the building shook and it felt like an earthquake and stuff
just fell off the walls and glass breaking and all that. I had
heard about adrenaline rushes from people before then but I got to see
one first hand. I
remember
the kids talking and such too. I just didn't feel like arguing
afterwards, so I just let them talk." And I was like, "I didn't
feel
like arguing either, so I let them talk too." And Karen was like,
"I
was very grateful that you didn't hit him because I know you would have
killed him, but I always wondered why you stopped and let him
go." And
I was like, "After he hit the wall, I saw the look in his eyes and he
knew it was all over. He knew if I hit him he was done.
And then I heard you say no Ace don't. That was what saved him.
But
I let him
go because I felt that everyone should be given a chance to make amends
for their mistakes. And the reason why I was always so upset
about Max
is because after I let him go and gave him his chance, he threatened to
have you arrested and told me not to tell on him. I don't regret
giving him his chance, but he definitely blew it with me and that is
why I couldn't forgive him if you remember. No way, not after
that."
And Karen was like, "I saw Max and he apologized and said he just lost
his head that time because he knew that you loved me, but he just
didn't understand why you didn't have sex with me. After you
cussed
him out, he understood and felt really bad about it. I was so
proud of
you for standing up for me and saying all those wonderful things to Max
about me. Your words hurt Max worst than any beating could have
ever
done." And of course Karen and I started making out with each
other
and lost our train of thought after that. Come to think of it, we
were
making out before this conversation took place as well. We really
didn't talk much in June 1981. We were usually either making out
with
each other, doing "The Couples Show", or sleeping (we didn't nap; we
slept. You don't nap through loud buzzer alarms going off)
together with our
arms wrapped around each other. We were very comfortable with
each other but also, Karen was still "grooming me to be her husband"
with teaching me about forgiveness with Max, while I was still "briding
her to be my wife" with teaching Karen about repentance (admitting a
wrong was done) and penance (making amends) with her husband Tom.
VI.
Smoking
I had
started smoking not too
long before Karen came back around. I had only been smoking a
couple months and not too heavily, maybe two packs a week. When
Karen first came back around, on June 15, we went to the corner a
couple times and I grabbed a smoke there with the other kids that were
smokers. After Monday, June 15, I did not smoke when Karen was
around again. Karen actually didn't say a word about it and she
was actually fine with it, but I wasn't fine with it. And
honestly, it wasn't because of Karen the singer or that kind of stuff,
but it was because with Karen around, I honestly did not feel like
smoking anymore. I would rather be inside cuddling up with Karen
and stuff like that than polluting my lungs or such. After Karen
was around me for just a short time (3 or 4 hours) the urge for me to
smoke just disappeared. No lectures or any of that stuff, I just
quit because I really didn't feel like it and I had better things to do
now. Would you rather spend your time kissing and hugging and
cuddling up with someone truly very special or waste your time burning
money away and smelling like an ashtray? Me too. That's why
I quit smoking for a while. Think about it more which is what I
did. You have this great pair of sizzling lips and an awesome
cuddler right there in
front of you and this stupid thing getting in the way of you having a
great time.
VII.
Made In America. American Top 40
Karen
also mentioned that her
and Richard had a new album coming out and I mentioned that I had
already heard the new song "Touch Me When We're Dancing" on the
radio. And Karen was like, "Actually
Richard and I heard that song and thought it was good so we did it like
usual. I told them about the story of you and me dancing and you
calling me an osprey." And I was like, "I remember, I called you
an ostrich because you buried your head in your arms like an ostrich
that time." And Karen was like, "Oh shoot, I guess I messed that
story up a little and that kind of explains the funny look they gave me
but they still kind of laughed a little about it. I'm kind of
wondering now if they laughed because I mixed up osprey with
ostrich. Oh well. There's another
song on there called I Believe You by the Addrissi brothers and Tom
asks if the songs are written about
him. I tell him yes most of the time just
to shut him
up. You know how it is though. Usually the song is just
written already and I just tell people about what I feel my motivation
is behind singing the song a particular way or choosing a particular
song to sing. I don't actually write songs myself. Once in
a great while, like with Rock With You, I provide kind of a story to
use for a possible song, but I'm not much of a poet myself."
Karen
also mentioned that her neighbor at one time was Casey Kasem who did
the American Top 40 show. Casey also did the voice for Shaggy on
the Scooby Doo cartoon. Karen told me that Casey had almost been
let go
from the American Top 40 show after Casey stuck to his principles and
did a show as a tribute to Bon Scott who had passed away in March of
1980. Casey was very proud that he stuck to his principles even though
it almost cost him his job. Casey felt very strongly that maybe Bon’s
problem
child type lifestyle and how Bon passed away might be a good lesson for
younger people to learn about drinking alcohol too much and the dangers
associated with it. Regardless, ratings went down after the show. I
actually watched that show when it aired and I can say that it was very
awkward watching Casey Kasem say “Hell” a few times and such, but I can
say that Casey did show genuine concern as far as the rowdy “Rock N
Roll lifestyle” wasn’t as glamorous as others were trying to make it
out to be. There is a downside to excess. There is also a downside to
having advertisers that sell alcohol and a guy hosting a music show
trying to say “don’t drink too much”. But then too, if your
customer drinks too much and dies, then you lose a customer. But
even better was that Casey believed that if the tribute he did to Bon
Scott helped keep just one person from overdosing on alcohol, Casey
felt it was worth trying. It may have almost cost Casey his job,
but
Casey (and Karen too) felt it was the right thing to do by raising
awareness about the side effects of drinking too much.
VIII.
A little excitement?
At some point during her
1981 visit, Karen mentioned
that when she went back home that there had been a bit of excitement in
the Corning area in December of 1980. Karen also commented that
when
it hit the news out there in California and because Karen's family in
California had known Karen was in Corning New York, they figured that
Karen probably knew these people as Karen had a habit of seeking out
the 'black sheep' so to speak. So Karen and I talked about the
Corning
shootout that happened on December 5, 1980 in Corning New York, where
the Comfort brothers, Joseph and Larry had shot two undercover police
officers. Corning is a small area of 12,500 people, but still big
enough where you don't know everybody in a year. I knew that
Karen had
never met the Comfort brothers, but Karen wasn't quite sure so she
asked. Karen also refreshed my memory because when she was in
Corning
from September 6, 1978 to June 22, 1979 there was talk in the town
about a guy named Bill, that had two sons that Karen knew (Brian and
Tim), and Bill had been arrested for counterfeiting after Bill was
found with a printing press in his basement that Bill used to make
counterfeit money with. Brian and Tim were students that Karen
knew
and Karen knew that Brian had problems because of an accident at a
local parade and Brian was hit with a rifle butt and had head trauma
but Brian was doing better but learning at a slower rate. Brian
and Tim also had a sister, Mary, that would talk with Karen at times as
well. Brian's
brother Tim was another story and Tim was a handful even without his
father getting into trouble. Several times Karen had to separate
Tim from fighting with a guy named Fran. Tim and Fran had both
been held back in school. Such a lively town with a history
was
Corning New York during the late 1970s and early 1980s. As Karen
was noticing, she was kind of turning into her mother and if someone
had a problem, Karen would always listen and then she would start
talking your ear off about it. Karen started loving solving
problems by sharing her experiences with others and others sharing
their experiences with her without others knowing
she was a celebrity of sorts. Karen did
know
quite a few people in the area expecially after being an 8th grade
english teacher plus people that her relatives in the area knew as
well. But in a small area... So Karen and I talked a
little. I told
Karen that I was actually there when it happened and I saw what
happened, but I had just turned 16 the day before so the police chief
did not want me as a witness because of my age at the time. But
the
Comforts lived down at the end of Third Street and just around the
corner from where Bill lived. Nice neighborhood huh. My
grandfather
and my cousins Becky and Carla lived about 4 houses down from where the
Comfort's parents, Ed and Norma, lived. Ed and Norma were
probably a
couple of the nicest people you ever wanted to meet, but their sons
Larry and Joe were the opposite and constantly getting into fights and
such. But I knew that Karen had not met Joe or Larry Comfort
while she
was in the area. I knew them a little bit in 1978 as I was a
scorekeeper and Larry was asked to be an assistant manager to a team as
part of his probation. I also explained that there was some stuff
not
leaked
out and that Karen probably knew a couple of Joe's and Larry's
relatives,
but not Joe and Larry themselves. Karen knew Ed and Lois that
rented
upstairs from my parents. We lived next door to the Glossars
(Marge
from the sneaking incident) and their oldest son, Jack Glossar married
Linda Comfort. The police chief, Dick Faulisi, was married to
Patty
Comfort. So there was a larger mess under the surface and the
police
chief had warned Joe and Larry that if something happened, chief
Faulisi would make sure that Joe and Larry spent the rest of their days
behind bars (hint too, chief Faulisi was one of several town drunks but
did not do drugs. Joe and Larry were drug dealers).
Shooting two
undercover police officers was definitely something and Joe and Larry
were kept behind bars (I think Larry got out 3 months before he passed
away from cancer I believe). But it had shocked Karen when she
first
heard the news about the shooting as Karen had always known Corning to
be a quiet and friendly area. And Karen still saw Corning as a
quiet
and friendly area when she returned in mid June 1981.
Karen did know the children of a guy that made his own money in his
basement, but Karen didn't know the cop killers. Corning is a
small area, but just big enough where there is a little elbow room if
you need it. Yes, Karen and I were both street smart enough to
find trouble, and street smart enough to avoid real trouble when the
need arose. Like Karen said to me, "I saw those two guys riding
around in that Corvette so I figured they were trouble and Wendy told
me they were trouble so I avoided them. I can tell people I saw
them but I didn't really know them because I could tell they were
trouble."
IX.
Karen and I and the 'couples hangout'
Karen
and I were seen many
times at the school after
this. I was age 16 and Karen was age 31 and I became known as
"Karen's old man" at the school. Honestly, despite the actual age
difference, Karen and I looked only a year or two apart when we were
together. The secretary said that Karen could wait for me in the
lobby any time. I would see Karen and then Karen and I would
usually start holding hands and then sit down in front of the trophy
case. I would 'assume the position' which was sitting and
reclining against the wall. My back against
the wall and my butt about a foot or so away from the wall.
Karen and I would then cuddle up and hug together and hold
hands and kiss and such. At times, Karen wore cherry flavored
lipstick too which was awesome. Karen and I joked around too and
wondered if they made onion flavored lipstick for Tom.
Karen's
ring stood out and a
lot of
times the upper classpeople (classmen, classwomen) would start coupling
up and sitting around us. Under the trophy case kind of became
"couples hangout" at the school. Originally it was just Karen and
me. By the end of the week there were probably around twelve
couples gathered around the trophy case and all of us chatting together
and talking about stuff much like back in the 8th grade days with Karen
and me in Karen's classroom. And the others would see the ring on
Karen's finger and would ask, "Are you two engaged?" and we would
answer, "Yes". And of course, "Congratulations. That's a
beautiful ring." And Karen would say, "It's a cubic
zirconia. It looks real but it isn't." (Of course it was
actually real, but at about three quarters of a karat, it would
definitely draw the wrong attention to Karen and me).
One of
the
teachers was actually a gem enthusiast and asked to examine Karen's
ring. We were like "OK, but we have a confession to make
first. Yes, the ring is real. Do you promise not to tell."
because we knew the jig was up with him. He pulled out his eye
piece and said, "I know it's real and I also know that ring from a
story a while ago in a magazine about [name] gem cutter and how he used
the flaw to enhance the diamond. That is a one of a kind
piece. I always wanted to see that ring and now I have.
Thanks. I promise not to tell that it's real."
One
time,
it was just Karen and I sitting there, side by side, and talking and
holding hands together (we usually locked our fingers together).
Karen had been standing and waiting there for me to get out of my exam
in the morning. On my way to the exam I had ran across Renee
Araujo who was in my french class and I said hi to her. After the
exam, Karen told me how she had seen my thoughts and asked me about
talking to Renee. And I was like, "She's in my french
class. I was just being nice and saying hi to her. As you
know from my thoughts, I don't think of her that way. She's a
nice person so I just said hi was all." And Karen was like, "I
know because I saw you flip through all those people including my
cousin Patti until you figured out who she was. Watch who you get
friendly with but I know you're telling me the truth about her.
But remember too, you can't hide from me and I'll know if you start
thinking of someone else and you know I'll make you pay for it if you
do. Watch your step." And then we sat down side by side and
I said something like, "I love you so much." and then Karen
said something like, "I know. Me too." and then Karen just
started crying. I asked, "Are you alright?" And she said,
"I just realized that it's really you and you're really here again and
I'm just so
happy. I can't help it. I've missed you so much." And
I was like, "I know what you
mean. I have been missing you so much and now we're together and
it just doesn't seem real. We've never really been able to be
together without some major obstacle causing problems. Being able
to just sit here and relax with you is just too wonderful to
describe. I love you too." And we are still side by side
and she is still crying. Then a guy walks around the corner and
sees her crying and yells out, "Hey you, take your hands off her.
Can't you see she's crying?" I said, "I know she's crying, but if
I take my hands away from her she'll cry even more? She's not
hurt or sad, she's actually happy." And he said, "She sure don't
sound happy to me. I said take your hands off of her or else and
I mean it." And then Karen raises her hand up with the ring on
her finger and the guy says, "Oh sorry, I didn't realize. You two
got engaged?" And I was like, "Yes. Come on over. We
don't bite." And I put my hand up in the air and motioned for him
to come over and he did. And when he came over I shook his hand
and said, "Thanks for being concerned about her. I really
appreciate it. I would have probably done the same thing
myself. No need to be sorry. Thank you." And he said,
"That's a big rock on her finger." And I was like, "It's a cubic
zirconia and not a real diamond, but it's still beautiful like
her." And he said, "I can't argue with that. Thanks and
congratulations to you two." And Karen and I both said,
"Thanks." and then he left and I gave him the thumbs up and Karen
just rolled her head over onto my chest and wrapped her arms around me
and we both cuddled up and closed our eyes for a bit enjoying the
moment. Men tend to get upset when they don't know how to express
their feelings. Women tend to cry when they don't know how to
express their feelings. Karen was just beyond happy and it
showed.
And then
another time, Karen
and I just cuddled up and
went to sleep together in our usual spot. The
secretary came out later and woke
us
up after she finished work and before she left for the night (either 6
or 8 PM). We probably would have been there all night if she
hadn't
woke us
up. Karen and I were still just that comfortable with each
other.
We both also drooled in our sleep, a lot. My shirt was usually
kind of
soaked in drool in spots by the end of the day. I soaked my
collar and my shoulder and Karen soaked my chest. We were still
definitely a lot alike.
[Added May 2, 2022] And
yet another time, Karen had been talking with a group of girls around
the trophy case and I had came around the corner just after taking an
exam. Karen had been talking with the girls about how women
should always have a happy face when their man came home from a rough
day and be waiting with open arms and such. So I came around the
corner and there Karen was standing and smiling (and demonstaritng to
the girls the happy face and such) and I just came out with, "OK, what
did I do wrong now?" And Karen was like, "Nothing, I'm just glad
to see you." and I was like, "Glad to see you too." and then we kissed
and the little sneak had put on cherry lipstick as a surprise.
Yeah, I've been addicted to cherry ever since then - cherry pies,
cherry cigars, cherry whatever.
Also,
Karen used the 'count
the days' method for knowing when her
period (menstrual cycle) would happen and as her form of 'birth
control'. This time around her
period was
really difficult. For the week Karen and I were around each
other,
Karen was having a rough time. Karen would take some Midol pills
and
then cuddle up with me under the trophy case and usually fall asleep
with me. She would put her arms around my neck and then rest her
head
against my chest (because she said she liked listening to me breathe
and listening to my heart beat and hearing my heart beat helped her
relax about her arrhythmia enough to just fall asleep) and she would
usually be sound asleep
within five to ten minutes of cuddling up with me.
On the
last
day,
Karen was doing better again and tried to apologize for the rough week
she had. She also said, "What was the school name again?"
And I was like, "Corning Free Academy, but we also called it Corning
Freak Asylum" And Karen was like, "Back at CFA my visitor usually
happened
on the weekends so you didn't see me this way. Maybe only a
couple times." And then she said, "Is there anything I can do to
help
make
it up to you?" And I said, "You already have. You were
feeling
miserable and you still spent your time with me. What more could
I ask
for?" And she said, "But I wasn't good company." And I was
like,
"Says who? Oops, that's right, you just said so. Sorry,
you're right
as usual. You weren't good company; you were great company.
And yes,
I still love seeing you smile again even if I have to sleep with you
some more. Is there something wrong with saying I slept with
Karen Carpenter and she feels better now? Don't answer
that. I just caught myself. I promise not to tell on me if
you promise not to tell on you." And yes, she smiled. And
after she
smiled, the old familiar words, "smart ass", just rolled out of her
mouth.
X.
June 18, 1981? Our last day together?
On our
last day together,
Karen and I were under the trophy case as usual and through the front
doors of the school came Karen's husband Tom. Tom rushed right in
and grabbed Karen by the arm and started dragging her out the door
saying, "You're coming with me." among other things. Karen then
saw me stand up from against the wall and Karen had the 'uh oh' look on
her face because she knew I was getting upset about her being dragged
across the floor. Karen then
said to Tom, "Let me go. I will go with you if you only let me
talk to
him first." And Tom let go and Karen came over and just said to
me, "I hope you remember what I said to you, I really meant it.
I'll be back soon."
And I was like, "You know I always mean what I say too. I'll
always love you." And then Karen turned around and walked out
with Tom.
There
was also a couple
couples sitting near us as the
trophy case became the 'couples hangout' at the school. I
remember the one guy sitting next to me saying, "If you love her, you
should fight for her. Why would you let him just take her like
that?" And I was like, "You don't understand; that is her
husband, but he did some bad things and she doesn't love him anymore
and she can't forgive him for what he did." And he was like, "I
think I understand now. That makes more sense. Sometimes
you have to go through some bad things before you can realize how good
you can have it. I feel bad for her. That guy seems like a
jerk. She's such a sweetheart to everybody and she deserves
better than that." And I was like, "Yes, and we all can make
mistakes, but a bigger mistake for me would have been to try and
interfere between her and her husband. That would anger him and
cause her more problems than she already has. So long as he did
not physically hit her or such, I was not going to intervene.
Karen is a big girl and can take care of herself for the most
part. Karen has to wait a year before she can file for a divorce
which would be in August this year at the earliest. In the
meantime, it is better if Karen and I have some patience and try not to
make her situation any worst than it is. That is also why Karen
and I stayed out here in plain view so that people couldn't accuse us
of stuff. Back then, Karen thought she would never be able to see
me again."
I
am not sure now if Tom brought her back to the school or not. I
keep thinking that Karen came back, but I am not sure as it has been 38
years now and counting. For some reason I keep thinking that
Karen came back and had tears in her eyes and said something like, "You
didn't tell them did you?" And I was like, "I finally told them
you were in a bad marriage because I think they found that out
now. I also told them that you had to wait a year after getting
married to get a divorce. Everyone was kind of shocked because
you have been so happy that they didn't think anything was wrong.
That's about it unless there was something else that you could think
of." And Karen had a look of relief and was like, "Thanks, I was
hoping to tell them myself but I guess it couldn't be helped. Tom
brought me back and said I could stay here. I just started crying
in the car and saying that we are surrounded by a bunch of kids and
just talking. We can't do anything with a bunch of kids hanging
around us and where am I going to go? Why won't you let me stay
with him? It's been over between us and you know it and you know
why. But if you want, I can tell you why so that your son can
hear it too and hear why his mom divorced you too. Is that what
you want from me now? And so here I am. And Tom said he
would pick me up later." And it seems like everyone was glad to
see her back under the trophy case again after seeing her being dragged
off earlier and finding out she was still legally married to a guy that
she didn't love anymore. It seemed like everyone was so
supportive and giving Karen hugs and such. And it seems like I
remember Karen saying, "I love all of you so much and I feel so loved
when I'm around you. Thank you so much. I am going to miss
you guys after the school year is over." And I think they said
back something like, "We are going to miss you too Honey. Too bad
you
couldn't send Smart Ass instead. We'd rather miss him than
you." And I think I said something like, "Gee, thanks guys, you
really know how to make a guy feel loved." And
then everyone looked over at Karen
and then Karen looked at me with a big smile on her face and finally
said, "Smart
ass" in
her usual way. So yes, it is definitely
true that no one likes a smart ass except possibly Karen Carpenter; I
should know. And then everyone
laughed and then we got back to some serious cuddling.
Tom
stopped by later and came in and picked Karen up. Tom
came over and said something like, "When I got back, Wendy filled me in
that you saved her life before. Sorry about earlier. I
didn't know.
She never told me about it. Thank you." and Tom and I shook
hands.
And Karen and I kind of had a blank stare and then I was like,
"Actually, Karen and I kind of forgot about that." or something like
that. And Tom's jaw just dropped and he was like, "How could you
forget about something like that?" And I think I pulled Tom
closer and I kind of
whispered,
"People here don't know that she's Karen Carpenter and we worry more
about people finding that out than whether or not I saved her life or
whatever." And then I think I spoke up and said something like,
"Yeah,
Karen and I have so many great stories to tell that we kind of forgot
about that one. But one time Karen thought she dropped her pen in
the
road and I grabbed her before she went in the road and almost got hit
by a car. It really wasn't that big of a deal. It was just
one of
those things that happened and Karen's cousin Wendy came out and saw us
crying together by the store because I almost lost her. Sometimes
you
never realize what you have until after you almost lose it." or
something like that. And then I think Tom and Karen left the
school
after Karen said her goodbyes and such. Earlier that day, Karen
and I agreed that to avoid any complications in her divorce and to
avoid any possible 'adultery' allegations or such against Karen by Tom,
that Karen and I would not contact each other until her divorce was
final. We did that. Karen also asked me if I had an old
shirt that smelled like me that she could sleep in to help remind her
of me until her divorce went through. I don't remember which
shirt now, but I did give her one of my shirts that she took with her
when she left. She hid it under her dress
so that Thomas wouldn't see it when he picked her up.
XI.
The Couples Show
Karen
and I got a lot of
questions about being a couple and
such. We developed a routine together after the first day.
With Karen having problems with Tom Burris, we didn’t want to have a
nicey nicey talk and we opted more for the ‘dysfunctional’ couple
idea. Karen and I were seen by the others as ‘the perfect couple’
as we never argued and we were always caring about each other. So
Karen and I decided to ‘dirty up’ our image a little during the couples
show. Well, a lot actually. The real world is not a perfect
place where everything always goes according to a perfect plan.
How did we get to be such a ‘cute couple’? I guess by me sleeping
on the couch all the time with that one spring that keeps you up all
night. Karen and I even had a few of the teachers wanting to
record this show as it was educational as well as entertaining about
personal relationships. So many things can go wrong and how do
you cope with it? Being a couple is about working together.
We slid the message in sideways as there was this guy (let’s call him
Smart Ass) that always had his own way of doing things. If Smart
Ass was to ever be allowed back off the couch again and get a good
night’s sleep, then Smart Ass was going to need to learn to work
together with Honey (Karen) and straighten his act up. Karen was
having a rough time with her menstrual cycle (period / 'visitor') and
she would
come in and take a couple Midols and crawl up on me and sleep for a
little bit with her arms around my neck and her head against my
chest.
I would usually have to wake her up when I had to go to an exam and I
always hated to wake her up because I knew she was exhausted.
But, at
times I would feel bad about it and wake her up and take my exam and I
would usually be back within a half hour. I would be like, "I'd
rather take a zero than wake her up. She's so peaceful and
resting comfortably and having such a hard time with her period."
And the guys would be like, "Don't worry about it. You'll be back
soon and we'll keep an eye on her for you. She'll be fine."
Afterwards, Karen would
usually be wide awake and many times someone new would start hanging
out under the trophy case. Because Karen was exhausted many
times, I
did a lot of the talking about things and Karen usually threw in a
bunch of "smart asses" which kind of became my nickname around the
trophy case. And really, the less Karen
talked, the less likely people were to recognize her as being Karen
Carpenter. Actually, most people knew Karen
as Honey.
And we would start out with (either of us might say
this), "Hi everyone. When we started out as a couple, we had a
whole
bunch of things to learn and no one to really ask about it. So if
you
have any questions, just shout it out any time and we'll work on
it.
In the meantime, just sit back, relax, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the
show." And then I would start out with, "So anyway, the first
thing is
we're Karen and Ace. We're a couple. Karen and Ace, and the
reason
Karen and Ace is because she comes first and then I can roll over and
go to sleep. Karen and Ace. Otherwise, she's up all night
and I never
hear the end of it." And Karen would be, "You got that right
smart
ass". And I had one of the guys that was a 'smart ass' fan so to
speak. He would say stuff like, "Go get 'em smart ass" and "Watch
your
step smart ass you should know better by now" and my favorite, "If this
house is a rocking, don't come a knocking" and stuff like
that. And
then I would continue, "The first thing that guys need to learn is that
she is always right. Right Honey?" And she would be, "If
you know
what's good for you, you'd better know I'm right and admit it smart
ass." And I would continue, "There are dire consequences for not
following this rule. The shortest distance between two lines is
the
couch. The couch actually isn't too bad once you get used to it,
but
there's always that one spring that keeps you up all night. But
this
is if you're lucky. Remember, you did something wrong and now
you're
going to pay for it if you know what's good for you, right
Honey?" And
she was like, "Right smart ass." I would continue, "If you mess
up
again, then the dog house and it just goes downhill after that.
Guys,
try not to mess up. Also remember, high heels can be used like
boomerangs. Think about it. If she throws something at you,
let it
hit you. Your bones will probably heal faster than being able to
get a
new TV because you were stupid and thought that ducking was a good
idea. It isn't. Women love to pamper a guy that's been
hurt. Your
bones heal. That picture window doesn't heal and now you have to
replace it and learn all these new words just because you thought you
were being smart and ducked. You weren't so smart were
you?" And
Karen would be like, "See what you get for being a smart ass and
ducking. Is it really worth it?" And I would continue,
"Definitely DO
NOT ARGUE WITH A WOMAN. Remember rule number one, she is always
right. It saves on a lot of aggravation and couch springs.
Watch."
And Karen would say, "You know that new bowling ball you wanted, well
the curling iron bit the dust and I need a new bathrobe and
slippers."
And I would say, "Now guys, I know that you're thinking that she looks
better naked and curly hair really isn't that important, but remember
your priorities. It can get lonely on the couch all the
time. Trust
me. I'm a smart ass. I know. She's fine. She
has the bed because if
she doesn't have the bed then she'll get a bad back and you'll never
hear the end of that either. One of these days she'll feel sorry
for
you and you can get that bowling ball, but until Hell freezes over, you
are going to have to be patient and wait. And I think this is a
good
time to bring up priorites. There are two kinds of priorities,
wants
and needs. Actually, Karen and I when we got back together we had
a
big fight and almost broke up because of wants and needs. Karen
wanted
a lover and I wanted a companion. It doesn't match does it?
Remember,
don't argue with a woman. She had two strikes on her and I had
two and
a half strikes and we were both ready to call it quits because we
weren't getting what we wanted. And then I looked at the problem
again
and I said, you know, you want a lover and I want a companion, but I
think we both need a lover and a companion. You have two points
for
acting like a slut and I have two and a half points for that horrible
tonsilectomy I gave you and saying slut to you. But we both want
something, but I think we need something even better. You want a
lover
and I want a companion, but I think we both need a lover that's a
companion too." And Karen was like, "Then I just said, can we
start
over?" And then I said, "We went from sparks and flames to nukes
and
supernovas. Take care of your needs first. You are always
going to
want something sometime, but if you need something and don't get it you
can be up sh*t crick and she'll definitely shove that paddle somewhere
where the Sun don't shine." And Karen would say, "And you'll be
walking funny too, right smart ass?" And then I would continue,
"And
speaking of which, guys, how would you feel if you had someone over top
of you just beating on you relentlessly then rolling over and falling
asleep when they're done. This is the woman you love. Enjoy
every
moment you get even with a paddle shoved up your ass. Think of
what
you're doing and how would you feel if it was being done back to
you?
Love only goes so far, because if you really love someone, they know
how you feel and you know how they feel. It's a two way
street.
Everybody's different and it takes a little while to get used to
someone. Karen and I were around each other for 9 months and in
that 9
months things just kept getting better and better between us, but some
people around us started behaving worst and worst. Karen and I
love
making each other feel better. Others liked trying to make others
feel
miserable. Karen and I had more than enough problems to feel
miserable
about if we wanted to feel that way, but we loved making each other
smile and we really loved seeing each other smile too. And it was
weird too because many times we didn't think we could be any happier
than we were, but somehow it happened. All because we love to
make
each other happier. We learned to work together to make each
other
happier." And Karen and I would just go on and on and talk about
different things that happened and how we dealt with stuff and
such.
We definitely threw in a bit of humor too because we realized that a
lot of times people remember jokes better than just saying things and
trying to memorize a bunch of stuff that didn't seem very fun.
Rolling
pins, baseball bats, bazookas, and all I remember was hearing 'you son
of a b*tch' and then I slipped and fell down the stairs right into the
dog house. And we would talk about going from being single to
being
with someone and all the ups and downs of adjusting. We didn't
have
kids ourselves, but we also talked about making kids a priority in a
way, but not spoiling them and trying to teach them how to do things on
their own. With kids, you want to teach them to do for themselves
and
take the patience it needs to let them work it out at their own pace
which is the tough part. If you do it for them, they don't learn
how
to be able to take care of themselves and that leads to kids having
more problems if they figure everyone will always do everything for
them. We would also talk about 'sex signals' where instead of
saying
something out right, you would just rub your finger a certain way to
let your partner know or such. Sometimes, you can't always
tell. And
Karen would be like, "Well, I don't have that problem with Ace. I
can
always tell. It's kind of hard, sorry about that, to miss."
And we
would always try to work in 'work together' as being essential.
"If we
work together, we can get things done quicker and that leaves more time
for other things. And time is the key to a lasting
relationship.
Because with a good relationship, time always seems to fly by and you
keep hoping that time will last and continue, where as with a bad
relationship, time seems to drag on and you keep hoping for it to be
over soon but it never is." We would also talk about jealousy and
Karen would admit that she would get jealous and Karen would say that I
didn't get jealous. And we talked about the reason behind
jealousy and people feeling inferior or superior to others and how
Karen and I found out that when we thought of each other as equals that
the jealousy went away. We both cared a lot about each other but
Karen would get worried about me finding someone else and such because
of her past experiences. And that was the problem with jealousy,
you think about losing someone instead of enjoying the times you have
together. And as far as myself, I explained, "I only want Karen
to be happy and Karen is a people person. If Karen were to find
someone else, I still wish for her to be happy even if she wasn't with
me. But we both noticed that neither one of us was happy without
the other. Karen and I were apart for about two years and absence
makes the heart grow fonder. But with Karen being a people
person, I know Karen is going to meet other people. It's Karen's
nature to make as many friends as possible and talk to as many people
as possible as you've noticed. Karen would not be happy cooped up
by herself with no one but me or herself to talk to. And Karen
and I both realize that the more people we talk to, the more ideas we
get, and the better we feel. But after meeting others and such,
we still have that special bond between us where we enjoy coming back
to that someone special after we've been away from each other. We
are just so comfortable with each other because we know each other like
the backs of our hands. But that's us and everyone is different,
so what works for one may not work for others. And sometimes it
may not work at all and you may need to move on to something that
works. The grass may seem greener on the other side, but a lot of
times when you get to the other side, the fertilizer smells
funny. You need to find what works best for you and yours.
And no one likes a smart ass so why does Karen worry about someone
taking her old man?"
And Karen would be like, "I know, but I miss you
and I don't want to lose you again smart ass." And
we would always throw in, "We found out through our own experiences
that when you try and help others you end up helping yourself
too. A lot of times we noticed people were having problems
because after being a couple, they didn't really talk too much to other
people either because someone was jealous or not enough time or
such. And when you talk to others, you get different ideas as
different people have different experiences. We like it when
people share experiences together and learn from each other. And
no matter how much you think you know, there's always someone out there
that may know something different that you could learn from." We
got caught too with a question. Nancy asked Karen and me if we
were actually like that at home and I confessed that "Karen and I
actually only see each other at the school and not outside
school. We don't really do that stuff to each other." And
of course I would bring up how
Karen
wasn't feeling too well because of her 'monthly visitor' as she called
it, and how I really enjoyed her cuddling up on me and taking naps and
such. I knew she wasn't feeling well and at times I would feel
kind of
guilty because I was enjoying the fact that we were so comfortable
together and we could just cuddle up and fall asleep about anywhere
together. And at times, Karen really didn't understand that I
really
did enjoy just holding her in my arms and falling asleep
together. Honestly, to this day, Karen is
still the only woman that I have been able to fall asleep with.
XII.
Cousin Patricia's Graduation
Friday, June 19, 1981 was a
short day and the final half day of school for the 1980 - 1981 school
year.
I am pretty sure (but not positive now) that graduation ceremonies for
the graduating class of 1981 were held on Saturday, June 20,
1981. I
remember riding my bicycle by the school stadium on the day of
graduation ceremonies for 1981 and thinking that I would be unable to
see Karen because I figured Karen's husband would be there with
Karen.
While I rode around the stadium entrance, Karen saw me and a couple of
the 'couples' people saw me as well and yelled down for me to come up
with them. I locked my bike up and went to the entrance to get
in. Of
course you need a ticket to get into the ceremonies and I didn't have
one. But being resourceful and 'street smart' as Karen put it,
Karen
handed me her ticket through the railing, which I used to get in, then
they hand you the ticket back, which I gave back to Karen after I got
in. It worked
out well. After getting in, we went to the back of the
stadium. I did
not see Karen's husband Tom either which was a kind of relief.
And
yes, Karen and I were glad to see each other again. A few of the
couples from the couples hangout were glad to see Karen and I together
again too. Several of the couples were graduating, but there was
still
3 or 4 couples that weren't graduating and were just kind of hanging
out. There was one guy in particular (I think his name was Steve,
but
not sure, it could have been Alan) was a guy that liked dirty
jokes.
Karen knew a lot of dirty jokes over the years too. So this guy
and
Karen had been swapping dirty jokes back and forth while I was busy
with my exams during the week. Karen had told me all about it and
that
Karen was still holding back the better dirty jokes for later.
You know, dirty jokes. Stuff like, "Why does a woman have two
holes close together? So that when she gets drunk, you can carry
her home like a six pack" or "How do you make a woman scream during
sex? Wipe your dick on the curtains" or
"What's your flow like? Linoleum." or "What
is grosser than gross? Biting into a hot dog and finding a vein"
or "What
do you do with an
elephant with 3
balls? Walk him so you can pitch to the rhino", stuff like
that. As an inside joke, Karen and Alan
(I'm pretty sure now it
was Alan and not Steve, but still not positive) numbered the jokes and
when the other kids would walk by, Karen and Alan would say something
like, "He looks like a number 6" or "She looks like a number 17?" and
they would both laugh about it together.
They
both had a great time with it too and they became good friends.
But we
were up there out of the way and kind of reliving the good old days of
the couples hangout days. The stadium was starting to fill up,
but
there was still a bit of room left yet. So we kind of had the
area to
ourselves with a little breathing room. Next, I am pretty sure it
was Karen's husband, Tom, that yells out,
"Hey,
look, it's Karen Carpenter!" and we see people looking around and it
looked like Karen's husband's son was the one that stood up pointing at
Karen and me. Of course Karen
and I
are looking around and the others are looking around too, and then a
couple of the others notice that people are coming our way. Then
the
other couples kind of look at Karen and me and then... [Steve or Alan?
Austin]
says, "No way. Karen Carpenter's a dork. You're not a dork,
you're
cool... I didn't mean it that way, but you?" or something like
that.
And Karen shook her head yes and then I think she gave him a hug and I
think she said something like, "Thank you. That's probably one of
the
best compliments I've ever got." And I think his face turned beet
red
as he realized he had been swapping dirty jokes with squeaky clean
Karen Carpenter and maybe she wasn't so squeaky clean after all.
And
then they see people coming our way so the couples go, "Don't worry, we
got your backs covered like always." And then we came up with a
funny
plan. When the people got there we would say, "What's the
password?"
just to throw them off a little bit. The password if I remember
right
was "I don't know". It seemed easy enough to guess and if they
couldn't guess it, we'd tell them, "Pssst, the password is I don't
know". But that way it gave the people a chance to talk a little
with
Karen and such without it getting too messy with too many people all at
once. A lot of them asked who Karen was there for and Karen said,
"My
cousin Patricia Carpenter" and some people stayed in the area and
others went back to other areas. But now about cousin
Patti. Patti
was a year behind in school. Patti had some trouble learning some
things and started almost giving up feeling like she was never going to
graduate. Patti had to work extra hard to work around the
learning
block that she had. It was difficult, but cousin Karen and her
family
were not going to let Patti give up on herself. If it takes extra
work
then so be it, but keep trying and keep doing the best you can do, but
don't give up on yourself. Patti did not give up and was now
going to
graduate. The commencement started and the names started being
read
off and kids started getting their diplomas.
Karen clapped for each person that had their name read and she would do
her pinky whistle for the ones she personally knew.
And if you hadn't
guessed
yet, when the name Patricia Carpenter was read off, there were loud
whistles, yells, and applause throughout the stadium and a standing
ovation. And of course with the standing ovation, Karen couldn't
really see from where she was. Yes, Karen got up on my shoulders
and she could definitely see and be seen up there. I made the
comment, "Nice" and Karen commented back, "I went commando." The
other
couples did the same thing as well with the girls getting up on the
guy's shoulders (I think Karen was the only
commando though). And the
principal said, "Looks like you've got quite a fan club out
there. Would you like to say a few words" or something like that
(not sure now exactly).
And Karen and I started cracking Gerald Ford jokes as Patti went up to
the microphone. And Patti had tears in her eyes as she was so
happy and you could hear
her tears when she said "Thank you all so very much. We've all
worked
so hard to be here and we're so proud that you can be here to share
this moment with
us and a special thank you to those who wish they
could be with
us but couldn't because they had other commitments they needed to
attend to and I hope you continue your enthusiasm
for the others that are
graduating as well. They worked hard too. Thank you." or
something like
that (it was difficult to hear her as unlike her
cousin Karen or myself, the scorekeeper and announcer, Patti wasn't
used
to using a microphone)
and she got her diploma and more
cheers. I don't remember Patricia's exact words now, but I do
remember that her speech was unplanned, unrehearsed, genuine, and very
thoughtful of others. Short, sweet, and to the point. The
Carpenters as I knew them to be.
And Karen was next to me and said, "She deserves this and
more. She's worked so hard to get this. I'm so proud of
her." And
then Karen does her loud whistle with her pinkies in the corners of her
mouth and [Alan / Steve?] joined in as well.
At times too, I would come around and I would start wanting
to cuddle up with Karen, but we had all these people wanting autographs
and such. I would rest my head on Karen's shoulder and put my arm
around her, then Karen would send me out into the crowd to tell people
the password because we both wanted to cuddle but we couldn't, so Karen
tried to keep me busy.
A newspaper reporter and cameraman came around as well.
Karen tried to get the cameraman to take a picture of Karen and me
together and introduced me as her husband, Ace. The reporter
heard my
name, Ace, and said something like, "I know you're not Tom, is your
name Bubby by chance?" And I was like, "It used to be." And
the reporter was like, "You're on the blocked list. I
can't." And the reporter had a small slip
of paper that had maybe
three names on it and was smaller than an inch long and about three
inches wide. There were only about 3 or 4 names on the list which
I
believe included Charles Manson and myself, Bubby.
And Karen gave him a mean face for not taking our picture
together. And the reporter was like, "Please don't be like
that. I can't. It would be my job. You don't look
or sound like the type Bubby. I have a feeling I am missing out
on a bigger story here. What did you do to get on this list
anyway if you
don't mind me asking?" And I just shook my head no and put my
hands out and said, "I don't know." And then Karen says, "His
mother was a virgin when he was born and the Church is afraid of
him." And the reporter says, "That explains it. That
explains a lot actually. You look more like the type to have a
halo than horns." Then I had an idea,
I had
Karen sit on my lap so that she would be higher up but also so I would
be technically not in the picture. Then a
few of the others got behind Karen and we kind of
put our arms up to make it look like Karen had 8 or 10 arms on
her. It
was really kind of cool and if the pictures had existed, probably
would have made an awesome album cover. I have a feeling that the
media kind of deemed it as too hindu for the Carpenters and probably if
they hadn't destroyed the pictures, Richard probably did.
No big deal though. Understood, but still fun.
I didn't see any pictures, but
I
know there was a write up in the local paper about Karen Carpenter
being at the graduation and being mobbed. Also, I know Karen
asked the
reporter if he could forward stuff to her brother because her brother
always liked collecting newspaper stories and such about Karen and
him. It would have been probably the June 21st or June 22nd 1981
(Corning) The Leader paper as well as possibly the Elmira Star Gazette
also.
After the reporter showed up, Karen's Uncle Jack and Aunt ? showed up
as well and sat behind us.
Karen and I heard a familiar gruff italian sounding voice say, "dull
rusty butter knives"
behind us
and Karen went from sitting in my lap to sitting in the seat next to
me. Karen and I weren't quite as rowdy as we were before.
Karen and her Uncle Jack talked for a little bit as privately as
possible. Karen's
Uncle Jack talked with
me a
little bit as well and I remember him saying at the end, "...I
don't like him. He chickened out and had his balls (nuts?) cut
off by a
doctor before
I could get to him... I still
remember the day my mother smiled. She passed
away
peacefully in
her sleep God rest her soul. You both
still have my blessings" and then Karen's Uncle
Jack started getting rowdy too with
us so I guess it all worked out.
And remember, if you messed up and your balls (nuts?) are still
attached, then
you don't know Jack (Carpenter). As
far as the 'finger pointer'? Thanks. I
know it was meant to be mean and create problems for Karen since Karen
was not one to like being the center of attention and being
mobbed. But then too, Karen and her cousin Patricia were very
happy about the result of an awesome graduation for a person that had
worked very hard for that wonderful moment that could never be taken
away from her. And yes, she is Patricia as Patti had grown up now
and realized that giving up on yourself was not all it was cracked up
to be. You never know what you might be able to do until you
try. And sometimes you may have to try harder than others.
And others may even need to try harder than you.
XIII.
Conclusion (1981)
What
came of this : Karen
Carpenter (Edna) and I (Enoch) came together as best we could under the
circumstances. No Methuselah, Lamech, or Noah and after thinking
a bit, no Rahula either. I (Lord
Metatron) would definitely rather spend eternity wanting to make out
with Karen (Lady Metatron) than have Karen spend an eternity wiping
dirt off my cheek. Karen also pronounced Enoch as Ē nō ch (long
e, long o, not a k but a ch sound as in chip as Karen said that one
time). As far as I know,
Karen has been the only one with a regressed memory of Edna,
Methuselah's mother / mom and therefore I feel her pronounciation of
Enoch carries more weight than anyone else's pronounciation or
mispronounciation as the case may be.
Buddha is another story as are Karen and Ace too. Isn't that what
life is about, stories?
What
happened : I did not
hear about it that I remember. I
probably did hear about it, but I most likely blanked it out of my
mind. If it was over the school anouncements, it would have been
Jay
Felli's voice. I would have been in Corning, NY at the
time. Karen
died. Karen's heart just stopped.
Karen said to me on the day
before that her visitor would be starting soon and maybe Karen mixed up
pills or possibly was just too underweight to deal with her visitor
starting. Karen usually took Midol for her
visitor. Also, menstrual cycles usually cause nausea and vomiting
so taking ipecac syrup sounds a bit far-fetched. Also, no ipecac
syrup container let alone containers as accused anywhere to be
found. Karen was 108 pounds when she
died, not 80 or 84 as another said. That
rules out Karen being too underweight.
Karen was nude (actually, Karen told me she preferred the word nude
over naked) when her mother found her in her brother’s walk–in
closet. Karen weighed herself once a week (in the nude) on Friday
mornings and she had hidden the scales in her brother’s room.
Karen was nude so not sure where the red jogging suit or the Ativan
(sedative?) came from in the autopsy report. No
foul play or
such. It was
just Karen's time. Karen's time (number) was up and that was
that.
Who knows how long Karen may have been dead before her mother found
her, five seconds, five minutes, not too long, but Karen was
dead. They took her to the hospital rather
than
bring the coroner to the house and all that mess. Even with a
celebrity, they don't bring a person out of a house with a sheet over
them on a stretcher unless they are dead. You can't suffocate a
corpse. No marks or anything
to
indicate a struggle or foul play. Like said, Karen's heart just
stopped before Karen's mom, Agnes, found her. And the reason why
Karen's mother found her is because Karen had a court date to sign
divorce papers and was not downstairs yet. Cardiac arrest;
Karen's heart stopped. Karen died.
When my
grandfather, Zeke,
passed away in 1986, my uncle
Gary was an EMT at the time and arrived at my grandfather's house with
my grandfather motionless on the couch. Almost immediately, my
uncle
said, "I think I just felt a pulse" and they brought the stretcher in
and took my grandfather away. Like my uncle Gary said to me, "I
didn't
actually get a pulse, but if they pronounce him dead at the hospital or
in the ambulance then it isn't as messy. If a person is found
dead in
a house then they have to bring in the coroner and the coroner has to
try and determine time of death and the cause of death and the body
can't be moved and all
this other stuff which just gets to be a big headache and a bigger mess
than it needs to be especially for an older person. I had a
couple
calls where after the husband or wife was declared dead, the wife or
husband of the dead person had a heart attack themselves on the
spot. So if we can
get the person to the hospital before declaring them dead, especially
around older people, the better chance we have of saving someone else
if something more happens. About the only
time a person is declared dead on the scene
is if the person lived alone, a
probable crime scene or the paramedic is a
rookie and doesn't know any better."
II.
What is meant by Karen's heart just stopped?
(April
8, 2020) Good
question. It has
been kind of explained to me what happened only I forgot one part of
this. Anyway, I will try to explain as best as possible so that
most people can understand this, myself included. Karen's
Toxicology Report was very interesting for several reasons but the
biggest thing that should stand out (and was overlooked by the coroner
or whoever prepared the report) is that a condition known as
hyperglycemia (high blood sugar) was present. Not a slight, but
HIGH. A level of 800 or higher is considered very high and a
normal level is around 100. Karen's level was 1106. Over
ten times normal and a definite cause for concern as a level of 800 or
more can cause a person to become dizzy and pass out. On top of
this was another cause for concern, Karen's very low potassium
level. The third part of this is what I forgot and I can not
remember if it was sodium, iron, nitrogen, or such, but the third part
was very low as well in Karen's Toxicology Report. As the numbers
indicated, Karen's heart stopped. Honestly. That was what
happened. It has the nickname of "the Death Spike" and is fatal
in all cases where this happens as this natural process was what was
used as the basis for 'lethal injection'. The 'spike' is because
the body sees something as being wrong and out of balance, so the body
produces and releases an enormous amount of glucol (blood sugar) into
the system in a short period. About the best way I can explain
this in layman's terms is that Karen's body suddenly produced enough
internal glycerine tablets to stop a rhinoceros' heart as it was
explained to me. Glycerine tablets (nitro glycerine) are what are
used to lower blood pressure and slow the heart. The body
naturally has a way of producing this. With the low potassium and
other (sodium?) level, it was apparent that Karen's body had produced
enough glycerine (tablets) in her system that Karen's heart had stopped
and there was no way that anyone could have got her heart to start
beating again on its own. The person explaining this to me also
explained that this is usually very sudden and painless. The
person just passes out and dies within 5 minutes as their heart just
stops beating. No chest pains or such. No physical damage
to the
heart. But the process is a natural process that can happen in
certain people unexpectedly and without warning. It can also be a
gradual process too with levels adjusting slowly over time. If
Karen had been a rhinoceros or even an elephant, Karen did not stand a
chance. And it was not really diet or medicines or weight or
physical damage or such that caused this either. But that was
also why this doctor asked me if I knew what Karen might have had to
eat the night before. Karen had not said that to me, so I didn't
know. But according to other sources, Karen had eaten out at a
restaurant the night before and not sure what she ordered (spaghetti
possibly?, no idea really). Karen's body had
somehow sent the wrong message at the wrong time internally and that
was that. Instant internal lethal injection. Gone.
Suddenly and unexpectedly but gone. Nobody's fault. These
chemical imbalances were also probably the reason why Karen had been
having arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) over the years. Not
really a heart attack, coronary, aneurysm, stroke (brain), or such, so
not really sure what to call this or what category it might fit under.
(Added
on July 3, 2020) And about the autopsy report. What a mess that
is. (A) EMETINE CARDIOTOXICITY DUE TO AS AS A CONSEQUENCE OF (B)
ANOREXIA NERVOSA Anatomical Summary: I. Pulmonary edema and congestion
II. Anorexia Nervosa (clinical). III. Cachexia. IV. Distended abdomen.
V. Dehydration. VI. Congestion of liver and spleen. VII. Hyperplasia of
porta lymph nodes. VIII. Distention of bowel. A break down is
that later Karen's heart is listed as being normal. Karen has
fluid in
her lungs (I), Karen weighs 108 pounds which is considered average for
a 5'4" female which kind of negates the Anorexia Nervosa (II), Cachexia
is a medical term for low birth weight or a preemie but no aneurysm
found (III), Distended abdomen (stomach is sticking out) (IV),
Dehydration (side affect of diabetes/hyperglycemia, shhh) (V),
Congestion of liver and spleen (VI), Hyperplasia of portal lymph nodes
(slight swelling of lymph node under jaw, left side, note, not the
thyroid) (VII), Distension
of bowel which explains distended abdomen in #IV (VIII). In the
toxicology report later it lists Karen's blood sugar level as being
over
1100 (a person's average blood sugar level is around 100 so 11 times
higher than average yet hyperglycemia [high blood sugar level] is
missed by the coroner). Most people pass out at a blood sugar
level around 800 to 900. A person put to death by 'lethal
injection' usually has a blood sugar level between 1300 and 1450.
Yes, 100%, a blood sugar level above 1100 will cause a person's heart
to stop beating. The Emetine level was .46 ml which is roughly
the equivalent of a small drop (if that) and as it has never been
studied as to how long emetine may stay in a person, no idea how long
this small drop of emetine may have been in Karen's system but the drop
is listed as 'residua (leftover)' opposed to 'active' or
'recent'. Cardiotoxicity of a normal heart? That would
actually be a blood sugar level over 1100 which would cause the heart
to stop beating but that would be a toxicity to the nerves that tell
the heart to beat and not actually toxic to the heart itself.
Karen's heart and
aorta are later listed as being normal. Oops. And also (for
a little levity here), Karen also had athlete's foot (tinea pedis) which
she figured she had picked up from taking showers after gym class when
she was in middle school in Connecticut which was why Karen opted to
take marching band instead of gym class when Karen started going to
high school in Downey California. But unfortunately Karen was not
able to tell the coroner this so that the coroner could add that
information to the autopsy report. And Karen had one cavity that
was filled too (As Karen later said, “All natural. Just little
old me. The way God intended me to be plus that one filled cavity
because I didn’t brush my teeth good enough after eating DOTS candy at
a movie theatre”). And to add here, Karen was found on her
brother’s floor near his walk-in closet. Karen usually weighed
herself in the nude on Friday mornings and I am fairly sure that the
weight scales had been hidden in Richard’s room on that Friday.
Someone grabbed a red jump suit (most likely out of Richard’s
closet). Inside this jump suit (that probably had not been worn
since most likely the late 1970’s) was found a bottle of I believe
Antivan. Who was taking pills for sleep
problems? What room was Karen found in? Karen usually wore
pastel colors, so red jump suit? How long had that jump suit been
sitting in Richard’s walk-in closet before one of the paramedics, that
noticed Karen in the nude, grabbed the jump suit so that Karen might
have something to wear after recovery (which Karen didn’t recover but
it is the thought here that counts). The expiration date on those
pills was 1/10/83 which is exactly 4 years after Richard was admitted
into Meninger's Clinic on 1/10/79. Yes, fiction writers taking
information out of context yet again to try and promote some whacked
out story that just does not sound right upon closer examination of the
facts. And another fact, lymph node, not thyroid. And a
bigger note too. Karen had told me that she had her tattoo of a
rose removed (the needle marks near the groin area as that was where
the tattoo had been located) I believe around mid January 1983 and
during the process,
Karen had contracted jaundice (hepatitus). The lump in her lymph
node was because of her tattoo being removed and a ‘dirty’
needle. I believe it also says that Karen’s thyroid (around the
voice box) had been damaged too. They had put Karen on a life
support machine and as stated in the autopsy report, the breathing tube
from that machine had been left behind. The damage to her thyroid
was physical and from the breathing tube of the life support machine.
III.
February 3, 1983, Karen's phone call to me (@ 8 PM EDST or @ 5 PM
Pacific I believe)
On the
day before, February
3rd, I had got a phone call from Karen
telling me that her divorce came through and asking me to take an
overnight bag with a suit, tie, shoes, birth
certificate, toothbrush, and something to sleep in into school with me
the next day and
that Karen would be coming by the school to pick me up. I
also added deodorant too. The phone call
started out with me being downstairs in the basement playing drums I
believe to records and my mother or father yells down, "Ace, you have a
phone call. Someone named Karen." Now, mind you, I rarely
got phone calls, maybe once a year and I am like, "Karen who?"
And my parent was like, "How should I know, just pick up the
phone." So I stopped playing drums and answered the phone in a
cranky voice, "Hello, who is this?" And the voice on the other
end goes, "That's a fine how do you do, I ought to hang up on you right
now. Karen who. This is Karen, remember me? I sure am
not going to
tell your parents who I am and I shouldn't have to tell you
either. This is Karen, you know, Karen." And I was like,
"Sorry, I didn't recognize you at first and I rarely get a phone
call. Hold on a second because I have a feeling someone is still
on the other line." And then I hear a click and then, "OK, I
think we're good. How've you been?" And Karen was like, "My
divorce goes through tomorrow and I need you to... (and then Karen
talks about picking me up the next day and us eloping)". Karen
then goes, "Was that you playing? You sound a little off."
And I was like, "Yeah, just a second..." And then I went over to
the drums and played a little bit then I kind of shut down and turned
off the record player. Then I picked up the phone and Karen was
like, "Was that what I think it was?" And I was like, "Yeah,
monotone. I have been playing one-handed lately with my left hand
to make my right hand jealous so that maybe my right hand might learn
to cooperate more. It's not really working though. As you
can tell I'm healing the stick on the snare which makes a dead hit
sound and sounds a bit off. I'm working on it though." And
Karen was like, "Monotone. I can't even do that. Only
thirteen people can
do that, well I guess fourteen now. You'll have to show me some
time." I then say, "There is a secret to it that I stumbled upon
by accident. It's more about stick control than speed. You
have to keep the sticks low to the drum head and not too much pressure
because you don't want the sticks to bounce off the drum head too
much. I'll definitely show you some time. Is Richard going
to be our best man?" And Karen said,
"Actually, Richard is a little upset at me now. I have been
playing a prank on him about me getting another manager because I need
an excuse as to why I am flying out tomorrow. I have been telling
my friends that I have plans to get another manager too so that Richard
doesn't get suspicious. I realize that after we get married that
some people might not be too keen on you being my husband because of
your age, so I am using this manager story as a reason why I am flying
out to New York instead of telling people I am planning to elope with
you. It is going really well so far. But Richard thinks
that I am looking to replace him so Richard is a bit upset at me
lately, but he'll get over it." And I was like, "Oh what a
tangled web we weave, but I understand somewhat.
But still, you know how every time we try to be sneaky, something goes
haywire. You have me kind of worried now. Has
anyone asked
who this great manager is yet?" And Karen was like, "Not yet and
that's kind of another great part of my plan. I'll just tell
people that Richard is my great manager. It'll work. OK, I
know it's kind of a flimsy plan, but it can't be helped at the last
minute. It's all I got. If I told
them I was wanting to get married again after all that I went through
with Tom they would have me locked up and throw away the key. I
also took most of my money out of my accounts just in case Tom tried to
pull a fast one after signing the divorce papers. Can’t be too
cautious you know. I stuck the money in a shoe box in my
closet. Anyway, after I get
back I can
explain it all to them. After all the stuff I went through with
Tom, I know that everyone would be really worried about me getting
married again so soon. I really want to get married to you
though. I've waited so long for this. I miss you so
much." And I was like, "I miss you too, but what makes you think
I really want to marry you? It seems like you've been burning the
candle at both ends and in the middle and sowing your wild oats all
over the place. But really you're special to me and not because
of your career and such but because of all our wonderful memories we
have together. Remember when we tried sneaking out the back
door? OK, you're right. I've been
miserable without you too. You got me. I do." And
Karen was like, "I do too. I like the sound of that." And I
was like, "Me too. It sounds great and so do you saying it.
I can't wait until we get to say it to each other in person.
I hope this all works out."
Karen was like, "Me too, otherwise I may need another manager.
But
then too, you could earn your keep. How hard can it be answering
the
phone once in a while and say yes or no? That's about all I've
ever seen managers
do." Karen also mentioned talking with Phil Ramone and that Phil
wanted to work with Karen again. And I was like, “I bet after the
last time. What was it a half million and he took all your good
stuff and gave it to Michael Jackson and left you with not much.
OK, tell you what, as your new manager Phil can produce you so long as
we get the cash up front. Do you think we could live off five
million because you know Phil tried to ruin your career before so if we
let him back in again we need to consider your career being over if
that makes sense.” And Karen was like, “Perfect sense, but five
million is a bit low really, we probably ought to just start out at ten
million and if he says no, it jumps to fifteen and more each
time.” And I was like, “Now you’re talking. Get while the
getting’s good. And if he don’t want to get got, then we’re
better off anyway without him. There are plenty of other fish in
the sea. And besides, you get tired of being used as shark bait
all the time.” And Karen was like, “You got that right.” Karen
also said
that she had told Tom over the phone that she didn't care and would
give Tom a million if he would just sign the papers and get out of her
life.
Karen also said that she would never put that in
writing, but she was figuring that Tom was greedy enough to "take the
bait" and sign. Karen
then said, "I never told him a million what, just a million."
I am pretty sure that I said, "OK, so Tom gets a
couple down jackets, a couple down pillows, and a down blanket.
Maybe just a down mattress even. A million duck feathers.
Even better, how about a million thank yous for getting out of your
life and not trying to make you feel miserable all of the time?
Thank you; thank you; thank you; thank you...
Just make a tape and he can play it as many times as he wants.
That's cool." And Karen was like, "Actually, Tom said he wasn't
interested in the million and he said that if I wanted the divorce that
bad that he would just sign the papers and be done with it. I
think it's about the only nice thing I can remember he's done for me
since we've been married." And I was like, "After
all the stuff with Tom,
if you
want a prenuptual agreement, I understand and I definitely would sign
it. You know that all I want is just you anyway, and if you
didn't want me anymore; I would leave; no problems. I'd give you
the clothes off my back so that when I left I would have a place to
stay after getting arrested for indecent exposure." And I am
pretty sure that Karen said, "Who was your cell mate again?" And
I was like, "Bruce" (Note, I never was in
prison or such, so 'Brooth' aka Bruce
was an inside joke between us about being butt raped in prison from
1979 after the 'Max' incident.
Yes, Karen and my odd
sense of humor again). And she was like,
"That's right. Bruce
is going to have to find someone else because you are mine. I
figured you would say something like
that which is why I plan on getting a house with
a big yard and a tall
fence that the neighbors can't see over. That way you can just
wander around the yard until you're ready to come back in. I'll
just grab some popcorn and enjoy the show. Honestly, with what
we've been through, we both know that you aren't capable of doing
anything that would hurt my feelings, let alone get the cops called on
you. I am not going to let you get away that easily. I had
thought about a prenup, like you
said, because of Tom, but you're not Tom. Tom couldn't break my
heart. If you and I got a divorce, it would honestly break my
heart and I know it would break yours too. I honestly thought
about it and after thinking, I don't want a prenup because I honestly
don't ever want to think about going through another marriage or
divorce again after we get married." And I am pretty sure I said
back, "I agree. For life and forever." And I am very sure
that Karen said, "I like what you just said and I definitely
agree. Now that we got that out of the way..." And then I
was like, "I got a confession to make because you'd find out anyway
because we can see each other's thoughts, but when I was little I had
the mumps twice on both sides and at the start of school this year they
forced me to take the Measles and Mumps shot and I'm probably
sterile." And Karen was like, "You're not getting out of it that
easily. I've heard about that and we'll just put some ice packs
around your testes. It'll be a bit awkward at first but we'll get
used to it. You know us, we'll figure it out." And I was
like, "Thanks. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Ice makes it nice
or whatever..." Karen told
me that she had a dog and that she wanted to make it perfectly clear
that I was not going to be allowed to spoil her dog. Karen was
like, "I know you and you're not going to spoil (him / her)." And
I was like, "Please, just a little. You know I love dogs, not
that way, but you know." And Karen giggled and said, "I know, but
no. You are not spoiling (him / her); that's final. (He /
She) sleeps on the floor." And I was like,
"I'm sitting here naked talking, how about
you?" And Karen was like, "Me too." And then I go, "You and
me make
horrible liars but it was worth a shot." And we both started
laughing. Karen asked
me if I "drove stick" and I said "No,
not yet."
And Karen was like, "Well my car is stick so I'll have my cousin Wendy
pick me up and get me at the airport (and I am pretty sure Karen said
"in Rochester") but maybe I'll
teach you later." I told her that I would
need to drop
off my car at the house before we left and that she could follow me
there. We
would
then take a blood test together and wait in a hotel room for two days
and then see a Justice of the Peace. Karen
said that she wanted our marriage to be just plain and simple like
us. We agreed. No big fanfare or such, just us. It
wasn't because of her previous marriage or such, it was
just that we were not really wanting anything elaborate
ourselves. A
big wedding just wasn't us. Karen also
warned me that
her visitor (menstrual cycle) would be starting soon. We also
talked about Karen's "public image" and that Karen was tired of the
business trying to push this 'sex appeal' and 'sex sells' stuff.
Karen was wanting to stay with her 'girl next door' image. Karen
was never one to show off and such and she was always body conscious to
begin with. Karen wanted to stay with being just plain Karen with
the freckles. Karen was tired of being thought of as a 'barbie
doll' and wanted to be thought of as someone that was more than just
looks. I commented back that I always thought Karen was her "most
beautiful as the girl next door" anyway and that the 'sexy' image
made Karen seem 'trashy'. Karen knew I was never the jealous type
anyway and I wanted Karen to appear sexy and desirable and beautiful,
not cheap and trashy and just out for a good time. But business
is business. And Karen and I both agreed
that Karen's public image was Karen's own business to do with as she
wished and it was best if I just stayed in the background.
Karen said, "If asked, I liked your most
beautiful as the
girl next door comment, but try to stay away from that trashy talk
stuff. I know what you meant, but others might take it the wrong
way." And I was like, "I know what you mean and I agree.
Keep it
simple in public. Keep it positive and avoid put downs and such
that
can be taken the wrong way." And she was like, "I know you'll do
alright. You've always had a good head on your shoulders about
that kind of stuff." Karen also talked
about being in New York for about a year and her experience
there. And before the rest of this here I need to try and sort
some stuff out that Karen and I talked about coming up here.
First, as far as Karen herself, in this, some very strange things
happened that Karen talked about and because Karen didn't know all the
details, Karen couldn't say for sure just that she knew something
wasn't right about Itchie and Levenkron. And Itchie and Levenkron
here as Karen was caught in the middle of something and neither her nor
I knew the rest of this that is coming up at the time and I only had
what Karen had told me in this conversation to go on here. I did,
however, get some information indirectly, but without a direct answer
from Itchie or Levenkron (which won't ever happen) I can say what
happened, but I still don't know exactly the reason(s) why only there
are some major problems there. First, later Karen mentions the
pill incident when she checked into Levenkron's clinic with just Karen,
Itchie and Levenkron there. Karen is correct in that they weren't
her pills. Not mentioned by Karen (as it probably didn't happen)
was other pill finding events (as elsewhere since then was a mention by
Itchie saying she found pills in Karen's room and took them to
Levenkron. Karen didn't have pills outside aspirins, Pamprins or
Midols in New York City). What has also popped up has been that
supposedly the name on these pill bottles was Karen Burris. Note,
Karen never had identification for a Karen Burris and to pick up
prescriptions in the 1980s, you needed identification. On top of
that is the date on that pill bottle of August 1981 and the story of
Karen saying that she took 10 pills a day. Bullsh*t. There
is no way a pill bottle dated August 1981 would have a prescription for
a Karen Burris at 10 pills a day lasting until January 1982 or
such. Karen did tell me she was forced to sign a paper about it
when she checked into the clinic in January 1982 (and on that paper was
a listing of six items that Karen had no idea what those six items
were) and Karen says later that she was also threatened to be taken to
Bellevue Hospital if she tried to say anything so she kept quiet and
just signed the paper but also since she was being accused of being a
liar if she spoke up, Karen said she became a liar as Karen was one if
you were going to accuse her of something, she was going to do it
rather than being falsely accused. And another thing, there
honestly were not any pills or such in Karen's condo or her room after
she passed away. I am pretty sure that Richard checked and I know
that Karen's place was clean. With Karen passing away suddenly
and such, Richard wanted to make sure that if there was something that
it was found that might explain why Karen passed away so
suddenly. There wasn't anything to find unfortunately or
fortunately depending on how you want to look at this. But with
finding something, Karen passing away suddenly would be easier to
explain, but honestly, there wasn't anything there so it was a bit more
difficult to accept the suddenness I guess you could say. There
wasn't any cover up or such as if there had been ipecac or such found,
then that could help explain it, but like said, nothing. Karen's
condo and her room were clean. Richard's red jogging suit had the
AntiVax or AntiVan or whatever from the late 1970s in the pocket.
As far as Itchie, Karen was around Itchie to make sure that they didn't
try to sneak off and release Karen's solo album somehow behind Karen's
back. After so many incidents (1979 to 1982), Karen did not trust
Itchie or Phil at all and as Richard had said to Karen in mid May 1979,
"in business, you keep your friends close but your enemies closer so
you know what they are up to". Karen did NOT want her solo album
released as she didn't want to deal with the adverse publicity as Karen
was not looking to ever leave her brother or the Carpenters group or
hear rumors in the tabloids or newspapers about it either. Karen
had told me that in 1982, her and Itchie had an argument and during
that argument Karen asked Itchie the “64 thousand dollar question” as
it was called back then. Karen said she just came out and asked
Itchie if Itchie had been trying to get Karen fired from A&M
Records. Itchie never answered that question according to Karen
on February 3, 1983. So,
yeah, some really screwed up and messy situations here that Karen was
dealing with. As far as Levenkron, you have to be able to prove
it. Had Levenkron never came forward after Karen passed away, it
would have been a moot issue. But Levenkron did go public and
stuff between a patient and a client is supposed to stay between that
patient and client. That was broken in 1993 beyond repair with
Levenkron doing the "A Current Affair" show. With the patient /
client confidentiality broken by Levenkron there in 1993, hopefully
privately Richard sued Levenkron's a** off over that (and since it
would be a legal proceeding, kept quiet and should remain that way
whether a lawsuit was actually filed or not). But yes, one big
mess here and I know Karen felt stuck between a rock and a hard place
with Levenkron and Itchie and Phil. The truth lies in honesty and
there is never a big mess with honesty. But information one way
checks out whereas other information is a mess and I have seen stories
change on one side, but not the other. Truths check out, stories
don't check out and stories tend to change over time. After going
over the autopsy later here, the truth about Karen's room and condo
checks out. The stories about Karen RECENTLY taking pills and
ipecac don't check out. The ipecac was in Karen's liver and not
in her blood so it was not recent (and no one knows how long that stuff
stays in the system, but with it being only in the liver, it was not
recent and could have been anywhere from a couple weeks to 3 months or
even longer before, but not recent within the last week or so as no
emetine was found in her blood, just her liver and had gone through her
system). It is what it is, a mess to try and sort out here.
But what I feel needs to be stated by me here is that there were
definite problems as far as this situation with Karen and Itchie and
Levenkron. I would honestly hope that this is an isolated
incident and with Karen's celebrity status involved, I would hope that
stories and trying to spread rumors and such that don't pan out would
stop and not be attempted again. An author (not a doctor or MD or
PhD) which raises more eyebrows on my part here considering these
questionable circumstances and hoping lessons learned as I am not
liking what I see with this mess but it is what it is and rather than
blame or such, just hoping that no one should ever have to go through
something again like what I wrote about here.
And honestly, had Levenkron never
gone on "A Current Affair" in 1993, I would have never felt the need to
write this and I would have left this part out which is the real mess
here because as stated, information is supposed to be kept confidential
and it looks bad to me for the leaker when that information isn't kept
confidential. And then the Itchie stuff on
top of this increases my skepticism even more. As far as Karen
and Synthroid. You are kidding, right? You're not?
Well, let me put it this way, hypothyroidism is marked by fatigue where
the thyroid is not producing enough hormone and thusly the heart does
not beat as fast. Hyperthyroidism is where there is an
overabundance of thyroid hormone being produced which would cause the
heart to beat faster. Synthroid and other type hormone
supplements for the thyroid are for treating hypothyroidism.
Taking Synthroid would speed up the heart rate for a short while, not
stop it. Karen's heart stopped. NO, Karen had not been
taking Synthroid or other such medications if her heart stopped as the
heart rate would elevate slightly but then return to normal not just
stop. Now back to the program
here. Karen said something like, "I was in your neck of the
woods and I had an apartment in New York
City for a year and I was looking to see the author, Steven
Levenkron. It was all over the papers. I was looking to sow
my wild oats, so to speak, and I
still remember you saying that to me. That was funny.
Probably my third best memory of you. My second best of course is
when
you sang Close To You with the trumpet sounds and all of that.
That was
great. But my greatest was when we had our first real kiss, not
that other junk that happened.
I just melted. I really loved his book and I wanted to meet
him. He is nothing like his book would suggest. He is a
manipulator. He is more of a manipulator than Thomas ever thought
of being. He is a master manipulator. When I first checked
in he dumped the contents of my purse out and you know my purse, I just
had a couple pads, a few aspirins, a couple Pamprin, some laxatives, my
wallet and pictures and tissues and makeup and stuff. Nothing bad
really. You know me. I have nothing to hide. Next
thing I know, I'm a kleptomaniac that I
don't know about and it
looks like I had been raiding
people's medicine cabinets while sleepwalking as
well evidently. I had no idea
what this stuff was, but I have a list from the paperwork he gave me
and we can look it up sometime." And I was
like, "Do they have the iris system out there,
because I have an iris library card now if needed." And Karen
said,
"Yeah we have iris out here too. We can try it when you get out
here.
It should work. I know there were
only three of us in that room and I know I didn't put that stuff in
there." And I was like, "What about the
hallway or the elevator?" And Karen was like, "No one in the
hallway, but there were a couple men behind us
in the elevator on the way up but they were back a little ways and not
right behind us. Steven then told me that if I tell
anyone about this that he will call me a liar in front of the whole
group and sign papers to have me committed to Bellevue. And you
know me when
people accuse me of things. I'm not going to let people accuse me
of things if they aren't true. He threatened to call me a liar so
I became a liar. He strung me along for a year and I finally got
my
visit from him. After my visit from Steven, and he let me call
him Steven, I left about three and a half
months ago after being in the hospital again.
[Somebody] dared me to drink a case (six pack?) of ipecac and you know
me and my dares. No one is going
to call me chicken. So I ended up in the hospital before I left.
I can only imagine what the people there thought
about me in the therapy sessions. I just made up a bunch of stuff
for the therapy sessions. People aren't supposed to talk about
that stuff outside of the group meetings and so I had a little fun with
it and made up some wild stories. So if you hear some rumors
about me that don't seem true, they aren't. Just consider the
source and if the source is someone from the looney bin, you'll
know. I also had a breakdown while I was there. A meltdown
actually. It was supposed to be a meeting with just me and my
family but Itchie knew about it too. I don't know how Itchie knew
about it, but she did. It was just awful. And of course
they
tried to blame it all on my family again and they tried to force me and
my mom to hug again. Another setup and of
course they keep trying to blame my family for it. Like I said
back when, my mom is not a hugger; my mom is a thinker. But what
do I know? I just started crying because the way they treated my
mom and my brother was horrible. I didn't blame them for
leaving after that. I wished I could have left with them too, but
I'd
signed the papers. I figured Steven would have me committed to
Bellevue if I told him and Itchie what I really thought of them after
what they did to me and my family that day. I
just kept my mouth shut after that. My
family left and I was all alone again with no one that really cared
about me. After my meltdown, I went to a very deep, dark place
and I didn't care anymore. I don't suggest going there. It
is not a good place. Evil Karen lives there. There is
nothing good that survives there. Not even you."
And I was like, "I was there with you. I know. Evil Ace,
remember?" And Karen was like, "How could you be there, what have
you
ever done that was evil?" And I was like, "Remember Max against
the
wall and all that, then my backing Phil and Itchie into a corner so
that you stayed until the end of school, and of course Tom avoiding us
at the graduation ceremonies. I know my mom was a virgin when I
was born but how soon we forget that, like you,
I'm not
exactly
Mr. goody two shoes all the time." And Karen was like, "I
remember now. The arm that reached in and pulled me out.
That WAS
you
that brought me back. Thanks." And I was like, "Don't
mention it.
Really, don't. I like the surprised looks on people's faces when
they
meet Evil Ace for the first time and become scared sh*tless." And
Karen was like, "Don't
worry, I
won't mention it. I like seeing the surprised looks on their
faces
too. Anyway, after that
I was focused on just do whatever and get out of there. It's all
marketing and advertising and that kind of stuff
with slogans and
gimmicks and such and none of that stuff works with me. I'm not
really a motivated person if you remember correctly. What finally
got me to
stop was when I thought back to you and when you quit smoking.
You just came right out and said that you needed to quit because you
had better things to do than waste your time smelling like an ashtray
so you quit smoking. I was so proud of you
which is why I started crying that
one time if you remember. You chose me and I never asked you to
choose; you just did it on your own. And I
was so proud of you because you chose me. Not the superstar,
me. You wanted to be with me."
And I was like, "That was a real no brainer. I just looked at you
and
I wanted to kiss and hold you so bad and I had this stupid thing
sticking out of my mouth, so I quit. It was that easy."
Then she
said, "I realized I had better things to do than
to
worry about losing weight and ending up in the looney bin again, so I
quit
worrying about losing
weight. It's been working so far. I
told myself that I am only going to step on the scales once a week and
I'm sticking to it. I weigh myself on
Friday mornings. Anyway, Steven told me
that
he wasn't interested in me and it
showed. I got more satisfaction from my little pinky than from
him. Don't worry, he doesn't hold a candle compared to
you." And if you know me I couldn't help but say, "Can I hold the
candle too. It sounds like fun. Twisting it around and
around and in
and out and..." And she started to laugh a little over the phone
and she was like, "No candles. No artificial ingredients or
preservatives. Just little old me. You know me.
Remember the auditorium?" And I was like, "How could I forget
that. We knocked over the cymbals and then... Front row
center. We forgot where we were and then
someone opened
the door and we both had that oops look on our faces because we forgot
where we were.
That works
too I guess. Are you sure?" And Karen was like, "I'm
positive." And then I was like, "What about a jack hammer to make
your teeth rattle?" And Karen was like, "No. My teeth are
fine and I want them to stay that way." And we both laughed
again. And I was like, "I miss seeing you laugh." And Karen
was like, "I miss you too, but we'll see each other tomorrow." I
also
asked
Karen if she wanted me to bring a bib for when we drooled in our sleep
at the hotel and she said her favorite words, "Smart ass".
We also sang, "Row row row your boat" together over the phone for a
little bit. Karen
also
told me that her and Richard were going to start touring again
soon so it would be a short honeymoon.
Karen never showed
up. The last part of our conversation was about Karen’s big
secret. Karen’s biggest secret was that when she met people she
would tell them a secret and see who ‘blabbed’ about it. Karen
learned this from her mom. If someone blabbed, no more secrets
and Karen would hide stuff from those that blabbed or, like her
husband, those who weren’t honest with her to begin with, Karen would
hide stuff from them too. The last part of our phone call before
Karen hung up was a bit odd. Karen said, “I can tell by your
voice and you can probably tell by my voice that I’m a little nervous
too. Like you, I remember that when we try to be sneaky,
something always seems to go wrong. You know about me and my
secrets and you are the one who holds my secrets as I have about 10
secrets from Richard now which you know. The shoe box in the
closet, my hair dresser, us eloping, my Bible stash, that past life
stuff, the therapy stuff, Max and Tom. Actually, you know all but
but one or two of my secrets [slight pause] thinking about it, you know
them too don’t you?” And I was like, “Yup, but don’t worry those
are safe with me too.” And then Karen continued, “If something
should happen to me or go wrong, you know how I feel about blabbing, I
give you permission to blab if needed. I leave that up to
you. As you know, I trust you and I feel you wouldn’t tell unless
it was necessary. Is that clear?” And I was like, “Crystal
clear.” And then I said, “We’ve talked a while so we probably
ought to go so you and I can get some rest for our day tomorrow.
Who am I kidding, we’re both excited and we both aren’t going to sleep
anyway and we both know it.” And Karen was like, “I’m fine.
I’m a little tired because my visitor will be starting soon but I’ll be
fine.” And then Karen and I both at the same time, “Love you
too. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.” And we both hung
up. The area code for the call would have been (607). The
area code for Karen's cousin Wendy and Lois the secretary would have
been (607) too.
IV.
February 4, 1983 my recollection
I was at
school in Corning NY
and I had got a call from Karen the day before. The secretary,
Lois, said she had got a call from Karen as well and
that she
was the one that gave Karen my phone number to call as it was after
school hours. The secretary at school saw me in the hallway
during lunch and called me into the office and asked, "Is that Karen on
the TV?" as the secretary saw it on the news on TV in the office.
The news clip was showing the ambulance with Karen under the sheet
being transported and I believe after that it said something about
neighbors seeing a tall lanky unidentified man running down the street
afterwards (but it has been a while). And I think I said
something like, "well it looks like she won't be picking me up later
after school." And then I said something like, "Why are all the
kids out in front of the trophy case?" And the secretary said,
"Don't you remember, that's the couple's hangout and you and Karen
started that during final exams in 1981?" And I was like, "I kind
of forgot about that stuff. It's been a while." And she was
like, "Sorry about Karen. she was such a sweetheart and I know you two
were very close. Are you going to be all right?" And I
think I said something like, "It's been so long since Karen and I were
around each other that I've kind of forgot what all right was
like. I guess I'll manage. I probably ought to be heading
to class, Thanks for letting me know. Are you going to be
all right?" And she was like, "I'm fine, but you look kind of
green around the gills." And I was like, "I'll survive I
guess. How much worst could it get?" And then I left and
went to my next class after lunch.
I am
pretty
sure later that
day (about 95%) but it could have possibly been the Monday
afterwards (maybe 5% if that). Anyway, I got paged down to the
office and when I
came in there was Karen's brother Richard. Richard was furious
and the minute I came in he was like, "Well, it looks like your little
plot was foiled. I pulled the plug on her a little while
ago.
How do you feel about that?" And I believe I was like, "What
plot?" And Richard was like, "You know what plot. I pulled
the plug and it ain't gonna happen. They had these tubes down her
throat and I knew she was done. Even if they had been able to
revive her, the tubes down her throat would have made it so that she
couldn't sing any more. I did it. I pulled the plug on
her. She's gone. How does that make you feel?" And I
said, "I can imagine how tough that was for you. She would have
been alright without talking or singing, but I honestly think that
Karen would not have wanted to spend the rest of her life hooked up to
a machine." And I raised my voice and I said again I believe,
"What plot?" And I am pretty sure Richard said, "Come on.
Bring it on. Get good and mad so I can have a good reason to
finish you off. I know about your plot to take advantage of my
sister and be her manager and take her for everything she's got.
Well it ain't gonna happen now is it? I pulled the plug.
It's over. Your little plot is done." And I was like, "OK,
I know we're both hurting right now and you're angry and I'm numb
because we both lost our best friend, but before either of us do
something really stupid..." And the next part I am kind of still
trying to remember but I continued with something like, "How am I going
to be her manager when I haven't even graduated high school yet?
Didn't you think it was odd that she never said who this big manager
was? Karen was playing a joke on you and the big manager she was
talking about was you. Karen and I were going to elope and she
didn't want you to know about it for whatever reason. I told her
to tell you about it, but obviously she didn't. I don't
know why. I didn't get a chance to ask her." And Richard
was like, "I can see your point, and that
explains her plane tickets to Las Vegas, but how
does the fact that I pulled
the plug on her make you feel?" And I believe I was like, "How
does it make me feel? Terrible. You got to see her. I
couldn't write to her, talk to her or see her because she was
married. How do you think that makes me
feel? It hurts. Oh God it hurts." And the
waterworks (crying) started with me and I think I put my head down in
my arms. Not a
major cry, but enough to have Lois, the secretary, hand me some
tissues and say something like, "Now see what you
did to him." or something like that.
And I think I said something back to
Lois like, "He's fine. He just lost his sister and he needs to
say
what
he needs to say. I need to say what I need to say too" or
something
like that. And while Lois and I were doing
that, I believe Richard shed a few tears himself and then he continued
with something like, "You gonna cry
like a little baby. Come on cry. She needs someone to cry
over her now. Maybe it's you. Her husband isn't crying,
he's more worried about if he's going to have a place to spend the
night if we take the house away from him. He definitely ain't
gonna cry unless we take the house away. He never cared about
her. I already cried on my way
here on the plane just like you. I bawled my eyes out like you
and then I realized that she would want us to be strong and go on
without her. Let's see what you're made
of. You're just like all the others and when it gets real you
bail out on her. She needed a real man. Look at you
now. A cry baby." And
then Richard was like, "It's just you and
me. Don't bail out on me now. Please
don't cry on me now.
Come on. I
didn't mean it like that. I know you wouldn't be crying just now
if you didn't have feelings for her." And I was like, "She's gone
and
there's nothing we can do about it. Do you have any papers for me
to sign or whatever, because I never wanted anything from your sister,
just her. That's it and she knew it. Nothing else mattered
to me. Just her. Whatever you want me to sign, I'll sign
it." I am pretty sure Richard had some papers for me to sign, but
I honestly do not remember for sure what they were about now. I
do know that my thoughts were along the lines of about the only thing
left of interest to me might be to be buried or interred or whatever
next to her. And thinking of being buried next to Karen... I
am very
sure now on Christmas 2019 that Richard and I did discuss this as I
remember now Richard mentioning something about it being an amendment
or a rider to Karen's will and Richard making the comment of, "I
figured that you didn't have the guts and you would chicken
out on that." And my comment back of, "I don't mind being buried
next
to Karen, it's being possibly next to you that bothers me. I
wouldn't
mind being thrown in the same casket as her, no problem. But
chances
are that you and I would argue throughout eternity and I don't want
that and I don't think you want that either, do
you?" or something similar.
And I believe
Richard said, "Touché. Maybe you've
got some balls after all. Come on this is for all the marbles" or
something like that.
And I
believe I continued, "In all seriousness, I would love to be buried
next to your sister, but if this is going to cost extra, I'm not
interested." And I think Richard said something like, "This would
cost a pretty penny but I leave it up to you. It is my sister's
last
wishes." or such and I am pretty
sure I said something like, "I'm not really interested in money or any
of that, so it's not really about money anyway with me, but me being
buried next to Karen could keep her will tied up for decades.
That isn't fair to you and your family. No
closure. I'm
not
interested in that, do you have papers for me
to sign off on that?" And then I believe
Richard handed me a blank piece of paper
and said something like, "If my sister could only see you now.
Look at
you. Obviously my sister saw more in you than I did until just
now.
As you know my sister was the kind that would give up everything she
had just so that others didn't have to suffer. I just saw you do
the
same thing. I see what she saw in you and I know you would
have made a great husband for her. I remember you now. You
weren't in love with the superstar, you were in love with her.
After all she went through
with her
husband you must be something really special for her to even consider
getting married again. And I can see she was right.
[And he smirked] Either that or my sister was completely nuts (off her
rocker?), but I'll
give you the benefit of the doubt on that.
You
failed my
test, but you passed her test with flying colors and I see why
now.
You were willing to give up spending an eternity next to my sister so
that me and my family didn't have to suffer. I'm touched.
I'm deeply touched. And what a crock. But if there was
someone
that deserves to rest next to my sister for eternity, it's you. I
honestly wish that piece of paper wasn't blank and was for real because
I wouldn't have let you sign off on it. I
wouldn't mind putting you there myself" (and
honestly, Richard said it in a way to infer that he would feel better
if his sister had someone resting next to her for eternity or forever,
whichever comes last and not like he was wanting
to kill me or whatever) or
something like this. My thoughts were I wouldn't mind being next
to Karen after I pass away but let me pay for it or something because
it would be my funeral and such. Even back
then I couldn't see myself finding someone I
cared about more than Karen. I knew that wasn't happening.
I knew the
love of my life was gone and I wasn't going to find another even back
then. I also know that I still love her
whether we get buried or whatever together or not. I am not
positive on Richard's
thoughts but I had a feeling he thought I was trying to back out of
being with his sister since his sister was dead now. I also don't
know for sure, but I think Richard may have actually been looking for a
way to tie up Karen's will so that it couldn't be settled since Richard
really did not need Karen's money or such and Thomas Burris seemed so
uncaring.
Sure, I can try to think of what Richard might have been thinking now,
but my mind was just drawing blanks back then and I never thought to
ask Richard what he may have been thinking.
Karen passed
away unexpectedly and Richard and I were both emotional and not
thinking too well. It was just a mess. And honestly, if I
wasn't messed up, why didn't I just come out and say, "I have nothing
else to look forward to without your sister, sign me up and send me the
bill" or whatever instead of beating around the bush like I did.
It wasn't really our
faults either. It was just the way things happened. We were
both upset. Things never go well when people are upset.
And we didn't have a choice. Karen was dead and that was
it. Done. Over. No second chances. No do
overs. Gone like that. February 1,
2021 and I kept thinking there was something else and there was.
Richard also had a list of personal items that Karen had left to
others. On this list was Karen's record collection and stuff like
that. On this list also was an entry for 'Adrian Dowling' I
believe and "To Adrian Dowling I leave... my everlasting love." or
something to that effect (with very romantic stuff written between
leave and my). After Richard had handed me the blank paper he
pulled out the list and he had me sign the list and the secretary, Lois
Crandell, was a notary public and notarized it as well. As far as
I know that list has never been made public, but I don't remember
exactly what Karen wrote as I was getting a little teary eyed when
Richard had me read it and it was happy tears, not sad tears. May
12, 2020
and at the end of our talk Richard had three questions. The first
question Richard had was if I would be interested in a dog. Yes,
I was interested, but I couldn't as there was no one at the house that
could take care of Mush, so I had to turn it down.
And the second, Richard asked if I might possibly know where Karen hid
her money from her accounts and I think I answered, in a shoe box in
her closet and I think Richard called up his mom and I think his mom
said she found it. Third
question, do you know of any place that has red roses. Richard
had called and checked every place within a 50 to 100 mile radius of
Los Angeles and everyone was out of red roses as it was close to
Valentine's day. The area I live in, Corning to Rochester New
York was bone dry too, but we tried. Richard put out an APB (All
Points Bulletin) on flower shops through the shops in Los Angeles and
in the end Richard had to go with yellow roses as there weren't any red
roses to be had since Karen's funeral was so close to Valentine's
day. And
then
of course we had a talk about possibly attending Karen's
funeral on Tuesday the 8th...
V.
Karen's last prank
December
24, 2019 and I
finally remember what others have been talking about. Karen was
going to be getting a divorce from Tom Burris (again, Tom wished to be
called Thomas as it sounded more distinctive I guess. But after
the mess in their marriage and divorce I prefer Tom myself so as
hopefully his wishes don't come true. But then too, you don't
teach people how not to be mean by being mean yourself, so I
apologize). Before Karen passed away, Karen was looking to play a
practical joke on her brother, Richard. Karen had told her
closest friends and even Richard himself, that Karen would be flying
out to New York and then Karen was going to be getting the best manager
she could get. This had several reasons behind it. A big
reason was that Karen had just got done with a messy divorce with Tom
Burris and if Karen had even suggested that she was wishing to get
married again, they probably would have locked Karen up and threw away
the key as Karen actually said that to me. It was a joke, but
also a diversion too. Karen told me that Richard was very upset
about
this and that her joke was going according to plan when Karen called me
on February 3, 1983. The truth was that Karen was flying out to
get me and that Karen and I were going to elope. When Karen got
back, Karen was going to tell certain people that she found the best
manager she could ever hope for, her brother Richard.
Unfortunately, Karen passed away before the 'joke' got revealed.
Even more unfortunately, Karen is not around any more to expose this
joke herself, however, think about it - there is a reason why Karen
never mentioned who this great manager was to anyone. Karen was
not looking to go out on her own or such. Karen was playing a
joke on Richard and unfortunately, Karen passed away before this joke
got exposed for the joke it was. If Karen had actually been
looking to leave Richard and go out on her own, she would have said who
this great manager was. The truth was that Karen was going to say
Richard was her great manager. And another unfortunately, as
stated, I did not remember this until December 24, 2019. I could
not remember this prank or joke, only that I knew for sure that Karen
had always told me that Karen always wished to work with her
brother. I forgot about Karen telling me about the prank she was
pulling on her brother just before she passed away. I only
remember now because I remember Richard coming to Corning NY using the
tickets from Karen's Holy Bible stash and Richard being very upset at
me when he arrived. And I remember now on Christmas eve 2019,
that I had said to Richard when he came to Corning on February 4, 1983,
"It was a joke. There was a reason why Karen never said who this
manager was." But I think I may have stopped short of saying to
Richard, "It was you." but maybe not. It sure wasn't an 18 year
old that hadn't finished high school yet and I probably would have done
a GED (Government Equivalency Diploma) instead of graduating with my
class in 1983. But now I remember why all of this stuff started
after Karen passed away. Karen had told people (Olivia
Newton-John, many others) about her getting another
manager, but Karen never had the chance to explain that it was meant to
be a joke on her brother. So after 35+ years, someone finally
remembers that this was supposed to be a joke, but the jokester passed
away before she could say the punch line. Karen was looking to
elope with me and then bring me back with her and then announce that
her brother Richard was this great manager that Karen was talking about
while saying to others that I was Karen's new manager. This
'joke' also served another purpose. In all honesty, when Karen
and I were together, people did not really notice an age difference
between us. We were almost 15 years apart in actuality,
Some people might look at the age difference and think that Karen was
'robbing the cradle' or she had a 'boy toy' and such. As a
precaution with certain people, Karen thought that introducing me as
her manager might be better than "this is my husband". In all
seriousness, I was not looking to be Karen's manager nor was Karen
looking to have me be her manager neither. An 'easy out' as we
used to call it. So it was a kind of practical joke, but it could
also be used as a 'cover up' if the need arose. I know Richard
and Olivia would have definitely known about our marriage. I'm
not so sure about others (including 'mom and dad'). That was kind
of Karen's decision. Karen is not around to ask any more.
VI.
February 8, 1983 The Funeral
For some
odd reason now on
December 19, 2019 I am starting to remember possibly something related
to a talk about going to Karen's funeral on Tuesday, February
8th. Like Karen warned me, "Ace, you really should keep a
diary". I have a feeling it may have been on Friday when Karen
passed away, but it could have been on Monday, February 7th, the day
before the funeral. I do kind of remember I think Richard showing
up at the high school and having me paged to the office at the school I
believe. The rest is really fuzzy as you can imagine, I was
really kind of out of it after hearing about Karen passing away on the
news at the office. I remember Richard and I talking about going
to the funeral and I remember thinking or saying that it would be a bad
idea because of the media coverage and such. I had an order of
suppression still enforceable against me by the office of the
Archdeacon of Canterbury and I remember thinking about a bunch of goons
just taking cameras and removing the film and smashing video cameras
and stuff like that. I think that I remember Richard saying
something like I could probably be isolated so as to not get caught up
in the media coverage and such and then maybe after all that I could
probably pay my respects in private without others around. The
office of the Archdeacon was definitely very adamant about my image not
appearing anywhere nationally or internationally in the news at the
time. And I knew they meant business too and they would have
people there making sure that any pictures or videos or such bearing me
were destroyed. If I was there, definite big headaches. If
I wasn't there, well, no problems that I was aware of other than a
couple onlookers that were there to make sure I didn't have any
pictures taken of me at the funeral that I did not attend. I
honestly do not remember anything legal being discussed between Richard
and me (well, at midnight December 20th I am thinking maybe a possible
cemetery plot or something being discussed, but I am thinking that this
discussion about a cemetery plot probably did not happen. Just
one of those pop into your head 'did this possibly happen' rather than
my usual 'this definitely happened' that ends with an extended topic
somewhere. I am thinking that I am thinking this not because an
actual offer was there, but more because it would be about the only
thing I would have been interested in at the time was to rest in peace
next to Karen) but I do remember thinking that my even being
anywhere near Karen's funeral because of that gag order on me would
definitely be a bad idea for Karen's funeral and anyone attending
Karen's funeral. I did not go. I stayed in Corning
NY. I did not want to take a chance of making a mess out of
Karen's funeral because of all the gag order stuff possibly creating
all kinds of problems that I didn't want, nor did Richard nor anyone
else. I guess when your mom was a virgin when you were born
sometimes you can expect you will have to sacrifice yourself for
others. This was such a time. I don't remember ever bawling
my head off after Karen
died. I know if I had gone to the
funeral, I would have probably hugged the casket and bawled my eyes out
and made a big scene and such. I believe the offer to have me
attend the funeral was made in person by Richard, but I know for
certain that I did not attend Karen's funeral. And if I remember
correctly, had I been there, I would not have known who she was as I
believe I lost my memories of her on the night of Monday, February 7,
1983 after I recieved a vision of Karen while just sitting in my room
that evening around 7 to 8 PM.
VII.
Thinking about Karen's death
As far
as Karen's death
itself. I wasn't personally there, however this I know for
sure... Richard saying that Karen's eyes
were hollow and lifeless
and that Karen did not look too well was probably true. Karen and
I
had been away from each other for about a year and a half and my eyes
were about the same as Karen's honestly. Karen and I missed each
other
a lot. In 11th grade (September 1981 to
June 1982) I had ran away
from home 4 times just because I didn't care any more and I just needed
to get away from everyone else because I was driving everyone else
crazy (at the house and in school). I had a racist english
teacher in 11th grade (I am part native american aka savage) and I won
the war with him by getting an 80 on the final exam. There were
also a few racist students that I was having problems with as
well. I had found real and true love with Karen, but it seemed
like everyone else kept trying to make me feel miserable and
angry. I didn't want to feel miserable or angry, so there were a
lot of problems. I also realized that if I
killed these racists, even though
they would have deserved it, I would have got 25 to life and I would
have not been able to see Karen if that had happened and I was
definitely close a couple times. And Karen
and I kept our promise not to see each
other until after she got a divorce so that neither of us got accused
of anything. My parents and my sister just
did not understand
that I really did not care and that I was tired of dealing with a bunch
of racists at school. Karen and I
always helped each other feel better and we were both going
through 'withdrawals' so to speak. While I was going through what
I was going through, Karen had her problems too dealing with a messy
divorce from a guy that kept trying to make her feel miserable
too. Karen did die and most people
thought I was a zombie in all honesty in 1983. I looked kind of
bad in
1981 before seeing Karen again for that short week, but from 1981 to
1983 I just kept looking worst and worst to the point where in August
1983, I literally could not keep my head up straight any more. I
graduated in June 1983 and the pictures my parents took were all
horrible with my head leaning over in every picture. I was going
to
college in 1983 and they took 6 pictures of me for my Sheriff's ID card
and my head at 30 degrees from straight up was as good as it got.
Karen
also did not get a chance to sign and finalize her divorce
papers. Karen was planning on signing at the court around 9 AM
that morning. I guess Karen’s official time of death was 9:51
AM. As such, technically Thomas Burris would inherit Karen’s
estate. Karen did have a will in place and I believe it had been
updated in 1981 at the time when Karen knew that her and Thomas were
going to be getting a divorce. Karen left the house and a couple
things to Thomas, but the bulk of Karen’s estate went to her
family. And after taxes and such it was not very much leftover I
imagine. Karen had also done her solo album, the wedding, and
Thomas had used a lot of money buying a cheap house in need of repairs,
then not being able to fix up that house, then getting fined for having
a bad house that wasn’t up to code. The real estate development
developed into a financial mess. Karen had also pulled the money
out of her accounts so that Thomas couldn’t make a quick withdrawal
before the divorce happened just in case. But also Richard got
left holding the bag after Karen passed away. The extra money
from Karen’s estate would mean extra taxes at a higher rate.
Richard already had enough money as it was but he also didn’t want
Thomas getting much as when Karen passed away like Richard told me, “He
ain’t going to cry unless we take the house away from him… He
never cared about her…” Richard did have Thomas sign a type of
suppression order which actually helped Thomas as it kept Thomas from
being able to talk publicly about Karen. Thomas couldn’t talk
publicly so Thomas couldn’t get accused of saying things and since
Thomas couldn’t say things publicly, the press couldn’t try and twist
that stuff around. The nice part also is that Thomas was able to
just walk away and not have to worry about publicity and such.
Thomas couldn’t talk about it publicly. On another hand, Richard
also had the mess with me. I was underaged when Karen and I met
but also my name and picture were blocked from being made public by the
order of suppression issued on me by the Archdeacon of Canterbury,
Bernard Pawley, and his assistant Sir Nicholas Born. How do you
tell people that your sister was planning on eloping with an 18 year
old guy that you can’t mention his name or show his picture
publicly? Precisely, a mess. In all honesty, if my name had
appeared next to Karen’s in the mausoleum, because the mausoleum was
public, the least would have probably been defacing the mausoleum so
that my name wasn’t public, but could also have had the mausoleum
bulldozed to the ground because my name wasn’t to be made public.
It was just a huge mess that couldn’t really be talked about
publicly. As far as myself, I was only wanting to share time and
be with Karen and share a possible life together. Karen and I
always had great times together even when things weren’t going so
well. I wasn’t looking to be a celebrity or wealthy or any of
that stuff; it was just that Karen and I had all these great times and
memories together (both good and bad, we weren’t just ‘fairweather
friends’ so to speak. We had some clunkers and bummers too but we
felt better when we shared and went through it together). But
things happen. Karen’s heart stopped beating. No one wanted
it to happen including Karen herself, it just did. No one’s
fault. No one to blame (her family or her husband or the
therapists or the doctors or…) We all have to go sometime and it was
just Karen’s time was all. Like said, no one’s fault. Karen
had some great memories during her lifetime and many wonderful stories
to learn from and some clunkers too. But then too, like with
everyone, if you don’t have some bad times, you tend not to appreciate
the good times as much when they happen. Those that knew Karen
knew that the name Karen suited her as Karen was a very ‘caring’ person
and wished for everyone to get the chance to enjoy a better life.
And some people enjoy being miserable too, so each person is different,
ourselves included. Everyone. Different. Forgive me
as I didn’t realize that you are happy being miserable, and hopefully
you forgive me as I enjoy being happy and not being miserable and I
didn’t realize our differences until now either. Stuff happens.
Karen
weighed 108 pounds when
she passed away.
Karen never complained of having chest pains or numbness which are
indicators of heart problems. I talked with Karen the day before
on the phone and she was actually in a very good mood and not depressed
at all and very happy honestly. I was happy on the phone
too. Karen was diagnosed with Anorexia
Nervosa which was mentioned on her death certificate, however, it is
very debatable if this was a cause of death. Anorexia was
mentioned, but honestly, Karen's heart stopped and Karen weighed 108
pounds. An anorexic would weigh 90 pounds or less if in trouble,
so like I said, very debatable as Karen was not underweight at the time
of her death. Could the excess weight have caused heart
problems? Honestly, there are warning signs of a person having
heart problems. Karen did not have any of these warning signs
beforehand. Karen having a problem with her heart was honestly
sudden and unexpected. Karen was always worn out or tired during
her 'visitor' (menstrual cycle). Karen knew her visitor was going
to be starting soon if it hadn't started already. Karen went
downstairs and made a pot of coffee and then went back upstairs to get
ready for the day ahead which involved Karen signing her finalized
divorce papers with Tom Burris (I don't care if he wishes to be called
Thomas, because I don't want his wishes coming true, Tom Burris,
OK?). The coffee pot was on and Karen's mom was downstairs.
Karen's mom noticed that Karen hadn't come back downstairs as the pot
of coffee was still going. So Karen's mom went to check on Karen
and Karen was laying on the floor motionless and not wearing clothes
(Karen weighed herself once a week on Friday
mornings in the nude). Karen's mother
called the ambulance
and they showed up and took Karen out on a stretcher (and for those
that saw the video, the sheet was over Karen when they brought her out
in the stretcher which indicates that the person is dead usually
because of suffocation issues, hint, but they also wish to avoid other
possible problems when dealing with living family that are elderly and
the other living family are gray haired and possible to have a heart
attack or other condition themselves if they find out that someone is
dead, so usually they try to have death declared in an emergency room
or an ambulance unless the person in question lived alone with no one
around, or unless there is a probable crime scene, another hint).
They had Karen at the hospital and could not revive her. They
also have to cover their actions and why they did what they did and
they did an outstanding job as
usual with getting Karen to the hospital after they found her
motionless on the floor. Cause of death, Karen's heart
stopped.
A person's heart stops beating when they die in every instance of
death. Karen was not an exception. What caused Karen's
heart to stop is purely speculative and worth possible study as I have
done. It was sudden and unexpected. Aneurysm?
Stroke? Seizure? Air bubble in the blood stream (unlikely,
but...)?
There
weren't any
warning signs beforehand. It just happened. Totally
unforeseeable. Almost unforeseeable except
for the diagnosis in 1975 and
or 1977 of arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) after Karen was in the
hospital those times. Karen was not going to have a pacemaker put
in
as Karen was against being kept alive by a machine.
And anybody trying to blame Karen's sudden death
on anybody is not thinking properly. Karen's heart stopping is a
physical problem. Karen's heart stopping is not
anyone's
fault including Karen herself. No one's fault. Karen passed
away. People pass way when they die. Things happen.
Seriously, if Karen's heart had not stopped, she would not have passed
away. Is there something wrong with being
honest? Blaming anyone under Karen's situation is not being
honest. The truth. And another truth, even with a
pacemaker, Karen's heart probably would have still stopped beating at
some point. That's life and death, but not the end.
And yet
another truth, a part
of me that can't be
replaced died
when Karen died. How do you replace someone that literally knew
what you were thinking? Someone that you couldn't argue
with? Someone that shared great memories with you? Someone
that made you feel like everything was going to work out all
right? Someone that made you feel like you were floating on
air? That one special someone that was your dreams come
true. Sharing wonderful memories with someone is special and when
that someone special is not around any more to share with, memories
still remain. I love you too Karen.
Thank you
Karen for being that wonderful person that I always knew you to be.
VIII.
Karen's mom and shrinks in general
To note,
for all of this
psychobabble about Karen and her mom (mother). Note, Karen died
at her mother's house with her mother there. If Karen did not
love her mother and if Karen's mother did not love Karen, Karen would
have not been allowed around her mother let alone being allowed in the
house. Psychobabble. Think about the truth. Karen's
mother was not a person that hugged people. There is NOTHING
WRONG with a person not being a hugger. Karen's mom did care
about Karen. Karen did care about her mom. Honest, at our
house, the piano was on the first floor and the drums were in the
basement. You can not hear pianos too well near drums.
Richard played the piano and Karen played the drums. That's a
house of love. Just
because they did not comform to a bunch of warped views about
what they felt was proper and trying to prove some whacked out theories
that are false, doesn't mean a damned thing. It does mean a
damned thing but not what it has been tried to be made out to be.
To note,
Karen always did
better around her family (mom, dad, and
Richard) and her cousin Wendy, and many others that cared
about Karen, and myself. Karen seemed to have problems after
being around Karen 'Itchie' Ramone, Phil Ramone, Tom Burris, and others
that kept trying to get Karen to work towards being seen as some 'sex
goddess' or whatever. That image just was not Karen, hence the
"statues" video for "Touch Me When We're Dancing". Honest, if sex
sells so much then why wasn't that video and the song #1
everywhere? It was probably the 'sexiest' video ever done at the
time for sure. Itchie and Tom kept trying to get Karen to focus
on
outward appearance, while Karen's friends were trying to get Karen to
realize that Karen was a truly beautiful person and well-loved
regardless of her physical appearance and that we loved Karen for being
the kind and caring person that she truly was.
The girl next door. Karen. Karen
was a tomboy and 'the girl next door' and since when were tomboys and
girls next door supposed to be beauty queens too? Well, actually,
when you think about the 'sex sells' image at the time, not beauty
queen, but slut was more like it. Karen
was having problems with her public image of being seen as being 'fat'
because of her bone structure while most
'shrinks' kept trying to deal with her private image and messing
Karen's private image up as is evidenced all over the internet and most
books written about Karen (Karen's private
image is her family which has what to do
with Karen's public image of being seen as fat? How are news
articles and pictures in a paper about Karen's body type and size
related to Karen's family?).
You
can not
honestly say that the shrinks were not trying to get Karen to hate her
family despite Karen's family having absolutely nothing to do with
newspaper or tabloid articles saying that Karen was 'chubby' (Note
also, that srticle in Billboard that is accused of writing "Karen was
chubby" was actually an article that stated that Richard was chubby and
not Karen, leave it to fiction writers to change things around to suit
their purpose[s]).
Karen knew better because every time Karen had problems,
Karen's family was there trying to help her whether Karen wanted help
or not. Karen was always welcome at home, always. When the
shrinks tried to get Karen to hate her family, Karen had had
enough. Karen was a Christian and was against hating anyone even
the shrinks. Karen and her
step cousin Wendy B even came up with a saying between them that they
couldn't
get "fat" any more, just "pleasingly plump".
Karen
was a very resilient person and not one to give up on something.
Karen was NOT a 'quitter'. Karen never gave up on something
unless it was futile (quick, flap your arms and try to fly like a
bird. I know you're a people and not a bird but don't give up as
you never know. Maybe people can fly and we just haven't tried
hard enough?). In mid September 1978, I had noticed that Karen
never gave up on something but also, she told me that she liked to
exercise during our 'arrhythmia' talk. So that was what gave me
the idea for our 'futility' dance and talk. It was before class
started one day and Karen and I were talking and I mentioned 'futility'
and Karen was like, "you never know what you can do until you
try." And I started flapping my arms up and down and I asked
Karen to join in and she did. Then I was like, "we're not flying
yet, maybe we need to flap faster and harder." So we flapped
faster and harder but we still couldn't fly. We brought our hands
in and we spread our hands out. We jumped. No flying.
But yes, as kids we see birds flying and maybe if we do like the birds,
we could learn to fly too. Then the futility of realizing that we
are not birds and we are not meant to fly on our own. But as we
get older, we forget that lesson. We just remember that we can't
fly and so we move on to trying other stuff that maybe we can do.
The toughest part in Karen's anorexia was getting
Karen to realize that her bad habits were hurting her physically and
she needed to quit those bad habits. It wasn't until Karen saw me
throw down my cigarette and quit smoking on June 15, 1981 (which I did
start smoking again and I do smoke now, but this was back then) that
Karen realized that maybe 'quitting' wasn't such a bad thing after
all. Karen started realizing that quitting bad habits would be
good. But still, putting her finger down her throat, starving
herself, taking laxatives and such had helped her lose weight
before. Why quit something when it works? Karen just hadn't
realized that there were possible side affects from overdoing it.
And as the autopsy report showed, Karen's heart wasn't physically
damaged, however, somehow Karen's glycerine (glycerine is the 'blood
sugar' level and glycerine is a substance that relaxes muscles
including the heart and not just a 'sugar' level) level had skyrocketed
to the point where Karen's muscles and her heart muscles just relaxed
and stopped. No one's fault, including Karen, as no one foresaw
Karen's glycerine levels rising as high as they did.
Karen
also learned her singing style, not with emotions, but by listening to
her own voice and trying to make her voice sound a certain way.
Karen could also pronounce diction and articulation really well,
however Bruce Forsyth was a challenge. It was all technique and
mechanics with Karen listening to her own
voice and Karen getting her voice to sound a certain way. Karen
told me that was why she would sing so softly sometimes as she would be
listening to her voice and not really singing out loud. But Karen
would hear a certain sound in her head and she would try to imitate
what she heard with her voice. And Karen had a wonderful vibrato
in her voice that she learned to use when she felt the need
arose. Karen would also sing softly to convey like a ‘secret
whisper’ and sing loudly for more emphasis and more openness and more
impact. With all of that to think about as far as how Karen
wanted to convey the meaning behind the song, Karen didn’t have enough
thought room to think about personal experiences or any of that
stuff. It was honestly all technique and mechanics with her
voice. Karen’s breathing, or lack thereof, and her accenting
certain sounds and lyrics while diminishing emphasis on other parts
were all a part of Karen enjoying that music can convey emotion when
done properly. It wasn’t the emotions themselves, but the
techniques and mechanics of her voice to try and convey that
emotion. If done properly, Beethoven’s 9th symphony, ode to joy,
will convey a feeling of happiness and triumph. If not done
properly, it sounds a bit off. Honestly, Karen wanted a sad song
to sound sad just as a happy song should sound happy. And it is
the sound, not the emotion, that is what makes that happen.
Karen's
mom was not
a very emotional person as Karen's mom was more of a thinker.
Karen got her 'thinking' side from her mother. Karen and her mom
used to have meaningful talks with one another, not hold "hug
fests". If Karen had a problem, Karen could always talk with her
mother about it and her mother would listen and talk as well.
Think about it, Karen and mom were the ones that were together when
Richard was seeing Karen's hair dresser. Hint, the "dragon lady"
was Karen's mother and the "two-headed dragon lady" was a term that
Karen and her mother came up with for Karen's hair dresser that was
seeing Richard (hint, Karen kind of used this to cover up the 'dragon
lady' reference for her mother. Meant to be confusing so don't
sweat it if you don't understand). Karen's mom was a 'clean
freak' so to speak and Richard was the clean one while Karen would get
dirty playing baseball and drag mud through the house. Richard
was favored by mom and that was why. No big deal. Richard
and Karen knew why and they were fine with it. Even Karen said
herself, "I'd rather be yelled at than fussed over (and, shhh, hint, at
times Karen would pick on Richard about Richard being a "mama's boy" in
private. It was a private joke between Karen and Richard about
mom fussing over Richard so much. It wasn't Richard's fault, just
the way it was. Don't forget that Karen was a tomboy too.
Richard would pick back)."
Karen's mom didn't hate Karen, but Karen's mom did not like dirt and
was hoping that Karen would stop dragging mud through the house.
The truth.
Steven
Levenkron was an author, not a doctor or MD
or PhD.
Note also, Steven found those pills and such when Karen
checked in there in January 1982?. I believe Karen checked out
around
September 1982. After Karen checked out and ended up in the
hospital
again, Karen started weighing herself only once a week. A person
that
is weighing themselves only once a week is not worrying about how much
they weigh on a constant basis. A person trying to lose weight
will
weigh themselves many times while taking laxatives and pills and such
to see the immediate affect of what taking those pills and laxatives is
having. And as you know, that is the catch with anorexia.
The pills
and laxatives are not actually immediate in most cases, which leads to
a person over taking pills and laxatives to try and speed up the
process which is not immediate anyway. A messy and dangerous
cycle.
So as has been said (and ignored by many), Karen weighed 104 pounds
when she left the hospital in November 1982 and Karen weighed 108
pounds when she passed away on February 1983. Karen also had
arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) which was found in 1975 (and later)
and was a sign that Karen's heart was not getting the signals to beat
at times. You would think that a person taking thyroid
medication(s)
to speed up metabolism in the thyroid would not be having problems with
their heart stopping. Karen was having problems with her heart
stopping and not beating in rhythm (arrhythmia) on occasion. Not
rapid
heartbeat, but Karen's heart stopping (no heartbeat) aka 'skipping a
beat'. The last I knew, synthroid and such medications do not
cause
the heart to stop beating. The heart can also only beat so
fast.
Karen's heart was missing cycles of beating at times without
medications. And Karen would actually starve herself at times and
become underweight. Also, Karen did not actually seem to have any
symptoms
indicating that she was having a thyroid problem. No profuse
sweating
or mental disorientation or stuff like that to indicate an actual
thyroid problem or side affects of someone that was taking medications
for a thyroid problem that did not exist. Karen did have problems
with her menstruation (visitor)
and
Karen would become very exhausted during her menstruation which would
usually be about three days. This happened regardless of Karen's
weight. But it is not unusual for a person that is discharging
blood
to become tired or such. If Karen had not started her
menstruation,
she was expecting it to start between February 3 and February 5,
1983.
Karen refused a pacemaker for the arrhythmia
as Karen was against being kept alive by a machine. And Karen was
definitely looking forward to living her life with a guy when she knew
that this guy cared about her whether her name was Wendy or Karen,
whether she was 94 or 124 or even 224 pounds, whether she was happy or
sad or upset (preferably happy though as it was difficult for either of
us to feel sad or upset when we were around each other),
a singer or a school teacher or a mime or even nothing at all,
for richer for
poorer, in sickness and in health, and he would definitely obey if he
knew what was good for him. A guy that loved "tomboys and mud
pies".
A guy that loved her despite what the critics and tabloids and shrinks
thought about her. And these two people
that apparently shared all these past
lives together that they didn't even know existed because they were
both busy enjoying the times they had together when they could have
them together. Together. Karen and
Ace. Maybe not now, but more likely forever. Is forever
long enough? Exactly why Karen and I haven't wrote our own songs
because most of the cool stuff doesn't rhyme all the time or
whatever. But stuff
happens.
IX.
Control freaks
(Added April 9, 2020)
Having
spent much time around Karen, I really wonder where this 'control'
theory came from. Honestly, there wasn't any control from Karen's
family (Richard, mom, dad). On the other hand, yes, there was
attempted control by Phil and Itchie Ramone as well as Thomas Burris,
Steven Levenkron, Max Baer Jr., and probably a couple therapists,
psychologists and psychiatrists. Karen and Richard always worked
together. If Karen or Richard didn't want to do something, it
wasn't
done. So I am kind of sure this 'control' stuff has been started
by
those that had guilty consciences about the way they treated
Karen.
And yes, the ones listed under 'attempted control' were the ones who
tried to control Karen. I saw it myself. I intervened on
the Phil and
Itchie control as well as the Max Jr. control and Karen was looking to
get rid of Tom which I would have helped with that also. Karen
had
'control' when around Richard and her family and such. If you
notice,
the ones who keep trying to push this 'control' stuff with Karen are
the ones most guilty of trying and FAILING to control and use
Karen.
Karen was used to working together with people which is the true reason
why Karen's marriage was not working out. After the ring went on
Karen's finger, Tom started trying to control Karen and that was
that.
Marriage over. Karen was a tomboy. Tomboys do their own
thing or else
they go somewhere else where they can do their own thing. Karen's
anorexia had nothing to do with control. Honest. Karen's
feeling she
needed to lose weight had nothing to do with newspaper articles and
tabloid
stories and being on screen and Karen feeling she was 'chubby'.
And 'fat chance' on this as if you actually do the research, the papers
(especially Billboard magazine) never called Karen "chubby" and that
stuff was actually started by a writer that didn't get his facts
straight. Karen
didn't want to do opera and be the 'fat lady' that sings at the
end.
And Richard didn't want to do opera either. Karen was not trying
to
gain control through losing weight. Karen was tired of being
picked on
by the newspapers and tabloids because Karen was a tomboy and also
Karen liked wearing loose clothing. Karen did not like clothing
that was tight or form fitting. Loose clothing hangs loose and
makes someone appear larger than they are. You could always know
when
Karen was having problems as you could start seeing her cheek and jaw
bones become more prominent when she was losing too much weight.
And
like I said, I was around Karen and I saw what happened when others
tried to control her. I honestly never saw Karen's family ever
try to
control Karen and if you notice, when Karen had problems, she always
went back to her family (or me too a couple times). And as you
also
look at the ones that try to bad mouth others and you should realize
that the ones doing the bad mouthing are also the ones most guilty of
that bad controlling behavior towards Karen. And that goes for
the
rest of you too. Those of you looking to bad mouth Karen's family
are
all IGNORANT. All of you. You believe nonsense from idiots
that have
a guilty conscience. Randy L Schmidt as well. Shame on you
for not
checking facts. And a big fact is that when someone says
something bad about others, you need to consider the source. Most
honest people, when they have nothing nice to say about someone, they
say that they have nothing nice to say or they say nothing at
all. Silence speaks volumes. Unfortunately, I am doing a
recollection here and as such, I am including the good with the bad as
a way of demonstrating the difference, but also as a remembrance as to
why. Otherwise, certain events and people would have been left
out of this. You should know better. I do. And
speaking of Karen
and my eloping together, Karen and I talked on February 3, 1983.
Karen
and I talked about going to the library and researching what that
prescription stuff was that was planted on Karen in Levenkron's office
as Karen had no idea what those pills were or what those pills were
used for. Karen also knew that I had no use for Phil or Itchie
Ramone
nor Tom Burris. Too many stories that don't make sense and only
add up
to nonsense. And when you confront those spreading nonsense with
facts, the nonsense starts to stop. Karen and I were also going
to
come forward with Karen's dealing with her eating disorder and how
Karen and her mom had figured out that if Karen only weighed herself
once a week, Karen stopped her anorexia. Karen weighed 104 pounds
when
she left Lennox Hill in November 1982 and Karen weighed 108 pounds when
she passed away at her parent's house on February 4, 1983. Karen
weighed at most, 86 pounds when she left Levenkron's clinic in
September 1982, which if Levenkron 'cured' Karen, you must be nuts
(cuckoo, crazy) to believe that nonsense. Nonsense. And of
course the
coroner not seeing Karen's extremely high glucose (blood sugar) level
of 1106. Karen had diabetes but no one noticed including Karen
herself. And a glucose level of 1100 is definitely deadly as a
level
that high and the heart WILL stop beating. Karen and Richard
never
competed against others. Who were Karen and Richard competing
against,
Lawrence Welk? Really? Karen and Richard always worked
together and
if one or the other objected, they didn't do it. Karen was
actually
close to her mom and Karen and her mom would talk about problems and
such, not hold hug fests. Karen and her mom were thinkers and
Karen's
thinking side came from her mom. Honestly. And Karen didn't
actually
see much of her mom for quite a while, but like I said, whenever Karen
had problems, Karen's mom was always there to help Karen. The
control
freaks, Phil and Itchie, Levenkron, Tom Burris, many shrinks
(therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists) were not much for Karen's
mom as Karen's mom would give it right back to them.
And if worst came to worst, Karen's mom would not even talk to someone
and be silent. Karen's mom
was
not much for nonsense. Controlling people is nonsense.
Karen and
Richard always worked together. No nonsense. Karen
and I always
tried to work together and working together means honesty. Try
and be
honest with an individual that has something to hide and is trying to
use someone and you see what I mean. No nonsense. Tell it
like it is
instead of trying to twist things around to make a story that makes
little to no sense. Karen was not a 'lonely clown' nor 'little
girl
blue'. One of the few songs that Karen was directly involved in
writing was Rock With You which Phil Ramone sent over to Michael
Jackson (and speaking of which, I seem to remember Rod Temperton being
very vocal about the 'Phil Ramone' call on February 2nd, and I believe
Rod said something like, "I don't believe it because Karen never used
the f word [and note also, Karen used the word cuss and not curse too,
but I don’t remember Rod saying that, just the f word part, but maybe
he did. Been a while]. I wouldn't mind hearing that tape
myself because I
would
know if it was Karen's voice or not." Does anyone ever remember
actually hearing that tape? I thought not). Face facts
people, Karen
sang those songs, but she really didn't write them. Karen was
honestly
a jokester and a very fun loving person. She sang those songs
well as
she had that kind of voice, but she didn't write those songs nor draw
personal inspiration from those songs. Of course you don't want
to come off singing a sad song sounding happy as that would throw the
song off a bit. Sing a sad song sad, a happy song happy, and a
funny song funny. As Karen told me, it is not really emotion but
technique (a vocabulary word we had that year too in 8th grade).
Karen thought more about how loud or soft or the intonation or how her
vocal chords should feel and not really about emotion or such when
singing. The tempo, little nuances (intonations, outtonations
too) and more about the mechanics of the singing and how it should
sound as well as listening to the drum beat to keep in tempo when
singing live and stuff like that. Karen always liked music that
conveyed emotion in the music itself (arrangements of instruments and
such too) as otherwise as Karen would say that it would be like just
reciting poetry. And Karen would laugh too and say that, “I know
it sounds weird because I’m a singer, but my least favorite thing to do
is recite poetry. That stuff is boring.” But Karen would
have personal stories about why she chose to sing certain songs and
such, but while singing Karen said that she needed to concentrate on
the lyrics and the sounds and not on any personal experiences. So
for instance, if Karen was singing, “Touch Me When We’re Dancing” and
if Karen started thinking about the ‘hiding her head like an ostrich’
story, Karen would forget the lyrics and mess up. While singing,
Karen concentrated on the sounds and the lyrics and not on personal
experiences. The one exception I knew about was a song off her
solo album called “My Body Keeps Changing My Mind” where Karen says
“dancing” in that odd way. The inspiration from that was actually
from me as when Karen and I were dancing, I would say, “Look, Honey,
we’re dancing, we’re dancing” with a weird drawn out accent on the an
in dancing. Karen really wasn't much
like
the songs she sang either. Karen was usually very upbeat
emotionally
and very resilient and she was a lot of fun to be around and Karen had
a lot of fun around others. Child-like, not childish. Much
like
myself at the time as well. Enjoy every moment. Have fun
and try not
to take things too seriously. And the big draw between Karen and
I was
that we could be serious and it was still fun too. We had never
had
that before. We enjoyed it. And no one knew that Karen had
diabetes
until after it was too late. And stop to think, how often do you
hear
the truth as far as Karen Carpenter, herself? Exactly, Karen
passed
away, so the ones that had been using Karen will still try to use Karen
as Karen is not around to say anything on her own behalf anymore.
And
the ones that worked together with Karen are still trying to work with
Karen even though she isn't around anymore to work with either.
Can
you tell who is who? Do you know how to spot the difference
between
someone that works together with someone compared to someone who uses
someone? And that includes therapists, psychologists, and
psychiatrists too. Karen had an internal warning sign that told
her
when people were using her. Karen told me that she would start
feeling
lonely around those that were trying to use her. Karen felt
lonely
around Thomas Burris, Phil Ramone, Karen 'Itchie' (Ichiuji) Ramone,
Max Baer Jr., Steven Levenkron, and probably a few others as well
(these people I mentioned I knew about personally from Karen).
Karen
also told me that she never felt lonely around her mom or dad, her
brother, Olivia Newton-John, Dionne Warwick, John Denver, any of the
band members, Rod Temperton, myself, or many others. And if we
learn
anything from this it is that users will try and isolate people by bad
mouthing others to try and make themselves seem caring when in reality
the bad mouthers are users and do not care about others and try to
isolate the one they are using from those that care about the one being
used. Manipulators. Loneliness. Those that
truly care about others
do not try to isolate people. Those that care about others do not
usually bad mouth others either. But sometimes, just let others
talk,
and if the shoe fits...
And I imagine next to burying his parents and his sister, having Thomas
Burris sign the "no public comment" paper was probably the next most
difficult thing that Richard Carpenter ever did. The media was
gearing up to tear Thomas Burris to shreds and Richard had to have
known that. It would not have mattered what Thomas said, just so
long as he said something so that it would sell papers for
people. Karen and Thomas lied to each other during their marriage
and Thomas was not used to public speaking. The media sharks
would have and still would rip Thomas to shreds publicly. It was
not 'secrets' or such as the media would wish you to believe, but an
ethical problem and I feel Richard made the right choice. Without
Thomas being able to speak publicly, the papers and such could not use
anything for or against Thomas. Thomas could lead a life without
being hounded by press reporters and others looking for a
'story'. What did Thomas really know? Privately you can
actually ask him if you happen to see him. And why would you want
to keep a low profile after people are accusing you of killing a
popular singer when you weren't really even around that person for
quite a while? I know that Richard did not personally like his
soon to be ex brother-in-law, however, I feel that Richard did a very
humane deed by allowing Thomas to sign that "no public comment" paper
that kept Thomas from being hounded by the media and such. Like
said, I know it wasn't about 'protecting secrets' as Thomas really
didn't have any secrets to protect. But the media was preparing
to tear Thomas to shreds publicly for anything Thomas said or did (like
tossing the wedding ring into the casket). Richard, being the
Christian that he is, allowed Thomas to walk away from the whole mess
and not be in the public spotlight. I know Richard made a
difficult decision as I know Richard would have loved to see the media
rip Thomas to shreds over anything Thomas said or did. Richard
made the honorable choice and actually helped someone he was not very
fond of. That is the Richard Carpenter I knew and the type of
family I knew Richard came from. Two people getting a divorce is
not a good relationship and is only good for 'tabloid fodder'.
And Richard robbed the tabloids of that fodder when Thomas Burris
signed that paper. Instead, now Thomas can just walk away and not
get caught in the media frenzy of trying to sell papers at someone
else's personal expense. Richard really didn't have anything to
gain by Thomas signing that paper, but Thomas was able to walk away and
lead a more private life without having to worry about reporters
hounding him for 'the inside story' or whatever. Peace and piece
of mind. Inner peace. Piece of paper. What
secrets? The truth was that Karen and Thomas were getting a
divorce because they couldn't get along well together. That was
Karen and Thomas. What if Karen had met someone else and what if
Thomas were to meet someone else, get married, have his vasectomy
reversed and have another son (purely hypothetical here of
course)? What if there really weren't any secrets and it was just
that Thomas and Karen were good for others but they were not good for
each other personally? What then? Where's the "inside
story" of that? News flash, two people find out that they can't
get along together, but maybe if they find other people more like
themselves it might work out better. So if you get a chance, talk
with Thomas Burris privately and keep it private. And if you get
a better chance, thank Richard Carpenter too for trying to provide
accurate information after Karen passed away. And thanks to
whoever (lawyer) for getting Thomas Burris to
sign that 'no public comment' order which protected Thomas Burris from
getting his and Karen's names from most likely being dragged through
the tabloid mud by a greedy press just looking to make money with
"inside
stories" at other people's expense. And another note here, but I
believe that the order of suppression for Thomas would have been part
of Thomas and Karen's divorce agreement to keep that from being a
tabloid mess. It wasn't 'hush money' to keep secrets, but merely
to keep the divorce from being a huge publicity mess in the tabloid
papers with all that 'he said she said' type stuff. So the
suppression order was probably an original idea from Karen and her
divorce lawyer. After Karen passed away and news got out about
Karen and Thomas getting a divorce, it did keep the looming divorce
from being splashed all over the papers. Thomas couldn't talk
publicly so it kept Karen's name from getting dragged through the
tabloids with Thomas if Thomas had commented about the pending
divorce. But like said, I think the suppression order was part of
the divorce stuff and not originally part of Karen's Will. But
still, yes, there was and still is a tabloid mess with all of Karen's
anorexia stuff. But fortunately there was not that kind of he
said she said mess with the looming divorce information that was made
public. In large part thanks to that suppression order issued on
Thomas (which was probably originally Karen's idea with the divorce but
Richard, being executor, would know for sure). I'm pretty sure it
wasn't Richard's original idea of a suppression order on Thomas and was
actually Karen's and the divorce lawyer's idea (about 99%
positive). As far as myself, I'm glad I never saw he said she
said stuff splashed across tabloids based on stuff mentioned by a real
estate mogul who had a 136 credit rating at one time (May / June
1981?). You know that as usual the tabloids would leave out that
136 credit rating stuff to sell more papers and keep the story sounding
more credible than it actually would be if all of the information was
included. Yes, for tabloids and tabloid type journalism and
writing, it's not about what is written but usually about what gets
left out of 'the story' that someone wishes to tell. "The reading
lines" or what is known as "reading between the lines" for that stuff
that's missing or doesn't sound right.
X.
My last thoughts about Karen
A short
while after Karen
passed away I got a vision (I think on Monday night, February 7th, but
not positive.). Visions are like dreams only you are wide awake
when you get them. The vision was me sitting in a mausoleum next
to Karen's casket. Next thing I know the casket opens up and
Karen comes out with a white blouse and a gray dress and black shoes
(flats really without much of a soul on the shoe)
with I believe a strap across the top with whitish stockings on and I
am
sitting by her casket and she comes over and stands next to me. I
stand up and I start to talk to her and she grabs her throat and shakes
her head because she can't talk. I look over and see a man
standing there in a black suit next to a stand, a caretaker of sorts I
guess. I look over to him and I say, "I need a marker, a marker"
and he hands me a black marker. I then say "I need something to
write on" and he hands me several small squares of white
cardboard.
Karen and I talk, in a way, for a little while and then the vision just
stopped. I think it was all yes and no questions so we didn't
really
need the cardboard anyway and she just shook her head. I think my
first question was, "Is it really you?" And she shook her head
yes. And I think I asked, "Do you still love me?" And she
shook her head yes. And I said something like, "Me too. I
still love you. Forever like we said." And she shook her
head yes. And then I think I said, "Are you all right now?"
And she stood there and spread her arms out to the side as if to say
what do you think? And then I think I was like, "I miss you so
much." And she put her index finger to the middle of her lips and
then put that finger on my lips and she shook her head
no telling me not to cry and keep
my head up. And I said something like, "Can I touch you?"
And she shook her head yes and I wrapped my arms right around her and
gave her a big kiss and she wrapped her arms around me too. And
then we looked at each other with our hands together and then we were
side by side and started walking towards the door. I
handed the marker and cardboard back to the caretaker and we continued
to walk towards the door. Then Karen wasn't
allowed passed the door so we went back
by the casket and I grabbed the marker and cardboard from the
caretaker again and then people started coming in and Karen and I were
writing on the cardboard while the people were talking and asking us
questions and such. And if you know Karen and me, we started
clowning around and holding signs upside down and switching signs with
each other and such (you know, me holding a sign saying, "I'm Karen"
while Karen was holding a sign saying, "I'm Ace"). And then the
vision
stopped a short while after that.
I never saw
her funeral until recently and that
was what sparked my memories of this vision as she was buried in the
same dress I remember in that vision, and I only remembered this vision
on New Year's Eve 2020 (the last day of 2019). I don't remember
all of what we talked about and I just remember that after this vision
in 1983, I lost my memories of Karen again until late May 2019.
XI.
Conclusion
What
came of this : Karen
died. See September 1978 to May / June
1979 for more details. If I remember right, just like Julie Sage,
Karen told me that she had a short life line as well (about an inch and
a quarter to an inch and a half long). Karen was the only one I
ever felt 'cloud 9' with. Karen was supposed to sign divorce
papers from Tom Burris on February 4. I always wished for her to
be happy. Karen was definitely looking
forward to the future after
signing her divorce papers and being able to be happy again and getting
her life back again. Neither one of us knew
how to get a hold of the other,
but I know if she had been really depressed or in trouble, she would
have definitely tried to find me somehow in Corning NY. I turned
18 years old
exactly three months before she died, so the 'minor' problem would not
be a factor anymore.
But not to be. After thinking about her around late May to mid
June 2019, I remembered what it felt like to be on cloud 9 again and
even though she isn't around to share it with me like before, it still
feels great. Karen and me had some really great times together in
the short eight months we knew each other. I noticed that there
were 2 songs on Karen's solo album (Lovelines, If We Try), and 2
outtake songs (Midnight, It's Really You) from that album
that contain 'Darling' (Karen's pet name for me) in the lyrics.
Oddly too, the 'baby' songs appear to be about me as well. Karen
told me that when she started her solo album, that she didn't have a
pet name for me yet. I
still do love Karen (Honey, my pet name for Karen) in 2019. Karen
was definitely my soul mate and I was definitely her soul mate
too. I
also happened to think that if Richard or one of them found
out 'darling' was a student that was 14 years old at the time, there
could have been some problems too. And honestly, even now, I
would
wish to avoid any scandal or such involving Karen. And honestly,
the
only things that touched between Karen and myself were our words, our
thoughts,
our hearts, our souls and our eyesight. Nothing more.
Nothing less. OK, maybe a little bit more after I turned 16, but
shhhh, OK?
We had to be sure somehow, and we had just enough
somehow to be sure. Also note, with Karen
and I being soul mates, we
are seen as equals after she passed away. With that being said
and because I am the one with the double-nerved upper left bicuspid aka
the Holy Scribe, I believe Karen is helping to fill that position until
I get back. If you see a blonde haired woman with the Akashic
Records, It is Karen Carpenter, my soul mate. After I die or
whatever happens to end my life in the flesh, I have a feeling that
Karen and I both stay together for eternity and do not return to the
flesh.
XII.
An afterthought
And one
for the road, so to
speak. Below are the school pictures
from the 1979 Corning Free Academy classbook. The extra hand in
Karen's picture is from the social studies teacher Mr. (Tom?)
Cook. The pictures were taken around October 1978. Karen
was very nervous about it and asked me to be in the room during the
picture taking. I was sitting in a chair about 15 to 20 feet away
and in front of Karen and Mr. Cook. Karen's eyes closed in
the picture because when the photographer snapped the picture, Karen
and Mr. Cook started laughing because I was saying, "Rump roast, Liver
and onions, Castor Oil..." instead of the usual, "Say cheese".
Karen wore a black wig and weighed I think 104 pounds at the time of
this picture. The vest on Karen was a rainbow color with reds,
yellows, blues, greens, and oranges that Karen made herself (on a side
note, Karen made her own poncho too and she kind of started a fad in
the area where girls wanted ponchos, including my sister). I
believe the papers in Karen's hands were just a bunch of papers that
were lying around in the room and Karen just threw a paper clip on them
to make the papers look important. I think the picture was taken
in an unused classroom that became more of a storage room but I am not
positive on that now. A funny note, The writing on the blackboard
is Karen's. The funny part is that the math teachers were lined
up in front of the english stuff that Karen wrote on the board, and
Karen (the english teacher) was lined up with the math stuff that Karen
wrote. And on an ending note, Karen did not usually wear yellow
as she had already “gone bananas” a long time ago and it was by her own
choice so she was fine with that, but no one seemed to notice or say
anything about it unless she wore yellow. Karen liked surprising
people and how are you going to surprise someone about going bananas
when you are wearing yellow? True, Karen didn’t like being
considered ‘normal’ and enjoyed being considered a little
‘different’. Anyway... Every little bit helps and hopefully
when and if the time comes people can hopefully get the help they
need. Like Carpenter Family Foundation, 1800 Avenue of the Stars
Suite 900, Los Angeles, CA, 90067-9818, http://www.richardandkarencarpenter.com
or Olivia Newton-John Cancer
Wellness & Research Centre, http://www.onjcancercentre.org
.
Or, more preferred (the USA is more research friendly at present) the
Olivia Newton - John Foundation https://cafa.iphiview.com/cafa/AccountInformation/tabid/495/dispatch/accountselection_id$283138_hash$4622b1a9d05b9c2a9972a0b11c8cfcf570f7246a/Default.aspx
. Just another thought here. Oh yeah, the pictures (note, Karen
is wearing a wig and looking down. Karen would also wear a
prosthetic face mask at times to try and hide her features [her chin
especially]. Unfortunately, this is a black & white yearbook
picture and not the greatest resolution so a bit blurry and grainy
too. And for those that asked how Karen could be a teacher and
not be recognized, this is her and as people notice, it doesn't look
like her. Thank you to the many who have noticed that the picture
doesn't look like Karen.)…
Well,
actually, there were a lot of things that happened around Karen and
myself that I imagine people have wondered about. Also, I imagine
there were a bunch of people that were actually around Karen that may
have either forgot about me, or wondered if I just gave up or such
(suicide?). I actually forgot about this stuff from 1983 to 2019
like I said above (1978 - 1979, I & 1983, VIII). But for
those that had questions about what happened and like that (myself
included) that was why I did this page. And I know there is some
stuff that I included that is a bit more 'detailed' than most readers
probably wanted to hear. Why all that past life stuff?
Well, does it really have anything to do with an eating disorder?
No, but it does have something to do with the talks with the Dalai Lama
and Sir Nicholas Born and Rod Temperton (soul mate stuff) later
on. And that was
why I did a time line page as I couldn't quite write this completely
chronologically while keeping certain topics together. The Max
Baer Jr. stuff as well as the problems between Karen and her husband,
Thomas Burris. Karen was having definite problems with Max and
Richard knew something was very wrong when Karen talked with him.
Karen was figuring that she was going to have to go back home and get
away from those problems. Things happened a bit differently than
Karen was expecting and as a result, Karen stayed as a teacher longer
and her caring brother Richard came out and explained some things to
Karen and also Richard came out to let Karen know that if there were
any more problems or such, Richard would gladly help his sister out so
long as he didn't end up being ratted on to the folks or be buried
somewhere where no one would find his body or something like
that. Karen was using Max as an example to me about
'forgiveness'. I was using Thomas with Karen as an example of
'repentance (admitting a wrong was done) and penance (making amends for
that wrong as best as possible)'. The details are there to
explain the problems better and not to label someone as being good or
bad or such. Max had problems with me and Karen but afterwards
Max probably realized some things and had a 'change of heart/thinking'
most likely. Karen and Thomas had a problem but Thomas was not
able to discuss and be honest about the problem in private with
Karen. Privacy. Really, the whole world doesn't need to
know your problems, but... Yes, to try and get a full explanation
I crossed some lines that I hadn't wanted to cross and others probably
wish I hadn't crossed. But the thinking behind that is that Karen
has passed away and if I pass away too, the rest of that sensitive
information passes with me. Yes, there are still a couple things
that will pass with me, and I felt the need to be as thorough as
possible with certain problems as maybe it might help others to realize
that if you really and truly care about someone, you can be totally
honest with them. Karen and I could be totally honest with each
other and as an added example, others could not always be honest.
Thomas was not honest with Karen as Karen was not honest with
Thomas. But that does not mean that they were 'bad' people.
It means that they had problems with each other. They were
getting divorced as there really was not a way to work out those
problems between themselves. Max had problems too. Karen
and me had problems too. Our last problem was the lying and
covering up. I was 18 in 1983 and when I was younger, we did need
to hide things and such to avoid bigger problems. After the huge
mess with Thomas Burris and Karen, Karen and I had both agreed that if
it was worth doing, there was no need to hide doing it. But if we
had to lie and sneak around to do it, it's not worth it. Finally
growing up. Accepting responsibility instead of seeing what you
can get away with. On the last phone call, Karen and I agreed
that because of the situation that had happened with Thomas, after we
eloped, no more hiding or covering up. Each time Karen and I had
hid or tried to cover up stuff, bad things happened afterwards.
Our eloping together story was to be the last fib and we were to start
'coming clean' about everything. And it ended up being the last
too. And the reason why 'the last' is because Karen heard me get
real worried when she talked about her plan for us eloping. I
didn't want us to start off like her and Thomas had started. We
never got a chance to find out how things would have worked out turning
over our 'new leaf' so to speak. Compared with others, Karen and
me
tended to work out our problems together just as Karen and Richard
tended to work out their problems together too. That doesn't mean
that we were good people or bad people either. When people learn
better things, they change for the better. The same as when
people learn bad things and behaviors, they change for the worst.
No one is born knowing everything and things happen.
Learning. And part of learning is that different people behave
differently around other people. It is not so much good or bad,
but how you behave towards others and others behave towards you.
Interactions. And if someone was running towards you with a
butcher knife? But it was actually walking and a paring knife
after slicing a lemon. Perceptions. Stories. And why
did I write all this out? No one person has been able to be
everywhere all of the time that I have ever been aware of. And
what if a person is not around any longer to share their stories?
And most people don't have about 24 hours to go through all of this
stuff all at once, so this was done... To remember Karen and
others and to share more accurate information with many different
people.
Non fiction. Honestly.
For more
information about Karen Carpenter from myself, try these pages too.